Seek the most classic jokes (hilarious > better have more.

(1) Three people walk to the gate of heaven at the same time. God said, sorry, there is no place in heaven. Tell me how you all died. Whoever dies the worst will go in.

The first man said, I'm a construction cleaner. One day, I was cleaning the window outside a tall building and accidentally fell down. I thought I was dead. Unexpectedly, fortunately, I grabbed the windowsill on the 22nd floor. I thought I was lucky enough to be saved. But at this time, I don't know which villain threw a refrigerator out of the window, and I fell and was killed.

The second man said: I am a company employee. One day, I was scolded by my boss and came home to see my wife disheveled. I knew at first glance that I had just had an affair, so I was angry and looked everywhere in our house, but I couldn't find it anywhere. I was very angry. Ah, at this time, I saw a hand on the windowsill. It's him! ! Without saying anything, I grabbed the refrigerator and threw it down! I died of a heart attack because I laughed wildly.

The third person said: I am an idle person. One day my wife and I were sleeping at someone else's house. This is when her husband suddenly came back. I quickly hid in the refrigerator! ……

God is dizzy! ! !

(2) Three people drifted to a desert island inhabited by a primitive tribe. In order to eat people, the three men begged them, and the tribe told them to go to the forest to find a favorite food. The first person to come back went to look for bananas. When he came back, the tribesmen told him to put bananas in BB (where he defecated) and (disgusting, don't vomit) don't cry or laugh. The man couldn't get in, got stuck, and finally cried and was killed by the tribe. The second person who came back found soybeans and stuffed them in. Suddenly, he burst out laughing. But after a while, the first man met the second man in the sky and asked him strangely, didn't you take a soybean? The second man said, yes, but I smiled. Q: Why are you laughing? "Because I saw the third person bring a pineapple back, hahahahahaha!"

A woman was lucky enough to visit heaven. An angel took her to a room. There are many clocks in it, some are fast, some are slow and some are accurate. So she asked doubtfully: What are these clocks for? The angel said: Oh, every clock represents an underground person. If you walk slowly, there will be fewer lovers. If you walk fast, you will have more lovers. If you walk correctly, you will only have one wife. The woman thinks, then I'll find my husband's. But she didn't find it for a long time, so she said, where's my husband's? The angel said, I'll go and have a look. After a while, the angel came back and said, Oh, it's too hot. Your husband's clock was used by God as an electric fan.

In addition:

A person went to the Dai people to celebrate the Water-splashing Festival. Suddenly, he shouted, which animal spilled water on me!

The tour guide hurried over and said, splashing water is a blessing! ~ ~ ~ The more water, the more blessings! ! !

The man said: when I am a pig! He uses boiling water! ! (Just boiled water)

A woman can't get married because her breasts are too small. A man asked her: Is the steamed bread big? She replied: There are plenty of steamed buns. M: The steamed bread is big enough. On the night of the wedding, the groom rushed out of the new house and shouted in the open space: Oh, my God, is "Wang Zi Little Steamed Bread" also called steamed bread? ! ! ! !

One day, the husband and wife were fighting cockroaches at home, and the wife shouted: Husband! ! Cockroaches ! ! ! My husband came over and looked at it and said, Ah, it's Xiao Qiang, let it go! After catching mice for a few days, my wife shouted: husband! Rats! ! ! ! My husband killed him with slippers and sighed. Oh, it's so sad. It reminds me of watching Shuke and Beita when I was a child!

On a ship full of animals, suddenly the captain announced that the ship was overloaded and wanted to kick down an animal. Let's tell jokes. As long as an animal doesn't laugh, it has to be kicked upside down and fed to sharks. A cow came over and told a joke. Everyone laughed, but one pig didn't. Too bad I got kicked. The captain said it was still overloaded and he had to kick another one. A sheep came along. It told a joke and no one laughed. Only the pig laughed. Everyone asked him why he was laughing. He said, ha ha ha ha, I think the joke told by that cow is really funny ~!

One day, Xiaoming was late for school. When he came, he hung a hand around his neck and shouted for a report. The teacher said, what's the matter with you, Xiao Ming? Xiao Ming said: I'll jump into the bunker if I do it. The teacher asked: what is jumping into the bunker to stop? Xiao Ming said: After I jumped, there was sand in my shoes, so I took them off with a pole. Suddenly, an old lady came up and hit me on the arm with a stick. I cried out in pain. She thought I was electrocuted by a pole ~ ~ ~ ~