Jerry Lee's jokes at the National Music Festival.

I haven't heard his jokes. Tell you a few. 1. A boy is silent. After marriage, he gave birth to a daughter, who grew up to ten years old. Finally, unable to restrain her curiosity, she asked her mother, "Mom, who is this person who eats with us every day?"

2. A couple are discussing the newly pasted wallpaper. The husband is not satisfied with the wallpaper just pasted, but the wife doesn't care. Therefore, the husband was very angry. He said to his wife, "This happens because I am a perfectionist and you are not."

The wife replied, "You are absolutely right. So you marry me and I will marry you. "

3. One day, the great scientist Einstein asked Liz Shinto before he died, "Is there a soul after death?"

"Of course." The little god said with a smile.

"I never believe that people have souls. Do you have any scientific reasons to convince me? " Einstein asked incredulously.

"Because the soul is the spiritual strength of human beings, it should be a kind of energy. As the saying goes: matter is immortal and energy is conserved. " The little god chuckled.

On the boat, a sailor asked another sailor, "Do you prefer wine or women?"

Another sailor replied, "I must know their date of birth first."

The young lawyer appeared in court for the first time, and his client's 24 pigs were run over by a car of the railway bureau. In order to emphasize the huge loss, he said excitedly, "Gentlemen, think about it, 24 pigs! 24 heads! Twice as much as our jury. "

6. I finally knew how to calculate "30% probability of precipitation tomorrow" when I was an intern at the Meteorological Observatory ~ The director found ten people in the office and asked "Raise your hand if you agree that it will rain tomorrow", and three people raised their hands. ...

7. An uncle went to the hospital for a B-ultrasound examination. When he came out, he said discontentedly, "As soon as the doctor saw me lying down, he ignored me and only watched TV by himself."

8.m: Can I buy you a drink?

W: No, I'd rather drink with your money.

M: I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a face like yours.

W: I'm a plastic surgeon, and I've been looking for a face like yours.

M: I think I can make you very happy.

W: You mean you're leaving?

Man: May I hold your hand?

Woman: No, I can get it myself.

M: Have we dated once or twice?

W: There must be only one time. I never make the same mistake twice.

9. The acrobatic troupe in the streets of London is performing a program: Hunger strikers in boxes. A reporter interviewed the hunger strikers and asked, "Why did you perform this program?" The man replied: "This is also a mixed meal!"

10. I am a junior high school student. I once received a scam message: "Mom and Dad, I have no money to use now. Put the money into XXXXXX account. This is my friend's business card, the name is XXX. "

Then I quickly replied to him: "Your mother, I am in junior high school!" " "

1 1. The young salesgirl enthusiastically introduced: "Buy this doll, it is the most fun. If you put it down, it will immediately close its eyes and sleep. It will also cry and laugh. When it cries, you touch its head and it will turn into a smile, just like a real child. "

Hearing this, the mother said with emotion, "Hey, little girl, I can see that you don't have children yet."

12. One day, two thieves met.

A asked B, "Where did you get rich recently?"

B said gloomily, "I climbed into a butcher shop last night. In the dark, I finally opened a safe with great difficulty. It turned out to be a fucking refrigerator. "

13. The teacher said to the students, "Children, the headmaster will come to ask you questions this afternoon, and you should answer them well then." Benjamin, you are the first. The headmaster will ask who created you. You are right to answer that God created you. Tom, you are the second. The headmaster will ask you who is the earliest person in the world, and you are right to answer Adam and Eve. Remember this and don't make a mistake. " In the afternoon, just as the headmaster was coming, Benjamin went to the toilet because of a sudden unbearable stomachache. When the headmaster came into the classroom, he saw that the first seat was empty and asked the second Tom, "Tom replied," Adam and Eve. "The headmaster nasty," what? Don't you know that you were created by God? Tom: "God created man to go to the toilet because of his stomachache. "

14. A Dai just talked about his girlfriend's skin disease, and she was itchy all over. I went to the hospital to see a doctor. The doctor said that this was mainly caused by food allergies and told her that she had written down a list of foods that were forbidden to eat.

When she got home, she put the note under the glass on the table and went out.

When my girlfriend came back in the evening, she saw A Dai gloating with a big bag of things. She asked happily, "Honey, what did you buy me?"

A Dai held up a piece of paper and said, "I bought everything written on it!" "

15. The church in the town was in ruins. Every week, the priest asks his parishioners for donations to raise money to build a new church.

A beautiful lady gracefully went to the donation box and said to the priest, "I am willing to donate 25 thousand yuan."

The priest replied, "Miss, although we really need everyone's donation, we can't accept the dirty money obtained by blasphemy. We accept your kindness, please take it back. " A group of people behind shouted disapprovingly, "pastor, please accept it!" That's not dirty money, it's all our hard-earned money! "