My confused mother

Dad is gone.

I took my mother to Beijing and took over my father's responsibilities to take care of my mother.

Before my mother could react, she had already followed me on the train back to Beijing. When I got home, I immediately tidied up the spare room, laid out warm-colored sheets, and cleaned the room. After a while, I made a comfortable home. I found a comfortable pillow for her. Comfort can relax her and make her feel comfortable. sleep tight.

My mother stayed with me alone for several months before, and the feeling now is very similar to before. The only difference is that there is no longer a wife she cares about on the other end of the phone at home. My brother said, just log off the phone! In my heart, a family is gone.

My mother is a somewhat weak person. There were already two brothers in the family when she was born. As the first daughter, she was very favored. I remember my mother said that when I was a child, there were many children in the house. My mother would never fight over picking fruits from the trees. My grandma would call those uncles, "Pick some for your sister..." When I married my dad, my grandma had passed away for many years. My grandfather also passed away. My father is very capable and is the backbone of the family and outside the family. My mother has always been a very good helper. Especially in the past twenty years, after my father retired, my mother didn't care much. She didn't even touch money for many years. She didn't even need to buy green onions. My mother only washed the dishes and tidied up the house, and then... Go out and exercise, play cards in the sun with friends. During the Chinese New Year this year, my second aunt was chatting with me and exclaimed, "Oh my god!" That is to say, your father took good care of me... Now my father can no longer take care of my mother. Fortunately, I still have it. Although my son and grandson are good, they can’t be like me and can accompany her every day. From this point of view, I can’t go home when I’m sick. It has become an advantage to take care of my mother.

In fact, my mother has always wanted to accompany me and take care of me, but my father cannot stay in Beijing, so there is no other way. Now, my mother and I take care of each other and accompany each other.

My mother is not a particularly competitive person, she is very humble. In other words, she is a little guilty. She feels that she knows little and cannot speak eloquently, so she just wants to be a listener. No idea. Nowadays, there are so many people talking. , there are few people who are willing to listen, so my mother has always been very popular among her friends. She never refutes others and rarely expresses her own thoughts. Many old ladies like to chat and play cards with her. Sometimes after a game, several An old lady can't remember who lost and won just now, but she still plays cards every day and is very happy. Even Yuwa envied her grandma's happy life.

The aunt across the street is a lonely old lady. When my mother came here in the past, the aunt across the door was always very happy. She hoped that my mother could stay at my house for a long time and keep her company. This time I got my wish.

My husband gave my mother a smartphone. In order to facilitate contact, I started teaching her how to use WeChat and answer the phone. What seems to us to be a very simple operation is not easy for my mother to learn. She often checks WeChat when she has free time, and then asks me, why is there no news? I told her that they are all busy and of course they won’t send you messages if they have nothing to do, but you can send them messages! As if she was afraid of breaking the screen, my mother carefully looked for someone and found her niece and nephew. The first sentence she always asked was, "What are you doing?" and then, "Where are you?" Yuwa discovered this pattern, always imitated her, and then laughed with her.

This time I taught her how to use WeChat, but next time she might forget it, press it again and again, and listen to the voice message someone else sent her before, and treat it as new. I told her, there is The information with red dots is new. She would point to the red dot on the WeChat notification and ask me if this is new information? Sometimes she starts muttering as soon as she sends the message, "Why don't you reply?" I tell her that others may not be looking at their phones at this time, and they will listen when she is free, and they will reply to the message then. Finally there was a reply. She clicked on the red dot message and started chatting when she heard others talking. I said, you have to listen to the end and then press and hold "press and talk" to speak, so that the other party can hear your voice. Mom often forgets and chats in real time as if on the phone. When she remembers it, she laughs to herself.

After three calls failed, I didn't dare to call again because I was worried that she would be anxious. When I got home in the afternoon, I asked her if she had gone out in the morning. My mother said no, her legs were weak, and she was anxious because she couldn't answer the phone. I told her, "If you call me once in the future, forget it if you don't receive the call. Usually it won't be a big deal. Then remember to check WeChat and I will send you a WeChat message." After decades of using the phone, my mother only knows She can just pick up the phone and speak, and today's smartphones can make her dizzy.

When I get up in the morning, my mother gets up very early, but she doesn’t know what to do, so she watches me in the kitchen, and she does whatever I ask her to do. I said, "Mom, go get the yogurt from the milk box!" Mom went immediately, not forgetting to bring the door key. I said, "key," and she said affirmatively, "got it," and then patted her pants. The key inside rattled, and I said, it was the key to the milk box. oh! Then he went back to get the key to the milk box. The yogurt was taken out. Mom kept looking at the little note I wrote for her and Yuwa on the table. When she saw that Yuwa was going to bring a bottle of milk, she went out again. She went to get the yogurt again. When she saw that it was empty, she came back with me. He said, "I went to get it again." I looked at my mother. It was a bit funny at first, but now I suddenly felt a little worried. Is my mother confused or sick? Dad is gone, and I have always advised her to live her own life well. No one can escape the end of death. Dad's pain is relatively small. Mom is very obedient and doesn't cry too much. I am a little relieved, but , I now find that my dad is gone, and my mom starts to panic. Is it Alzheimer's disease? She used to be easily nervous and panicked, but with her father's advice on everything, she felt at ease. She just laughed to herself when she was confused and didn't think too much about it. Now she is as confused as an unattended child who got lost in the crowd. Cuo, I kept telling her that I would take care of her, and she was taking care of me, and she would do a lot of things.

The aunt across the street didn’t contact her much since she was confused and failed to test her blood sugar last time. Maybe she thought she was too stupid. She used to like to call her Mom goes to chat. My mother noticed it and felt very uncomfortable. She was originally afraid of being laughed at, but now the fact is that she was indeed looked down upon by others. You must know that when my mother was at home, the old people in the park liked her very much and envied her and her father's happiness. , if she doesn’t go to the park for a day, people will come to her, praising her for being energetic, young and blessed. When she arrived in Beijing, she thought she would not be lonely with the company of the aunt across the street, but she has rarely contacted her in the past few days... In fact, the aunt across the street has been She is very picky, and her husband is honest and kind, but the aunt has been talking about him all her life, saying that he is very stupid... I asked my mother to go to the aunt opposite and go to the square to do exercises in the morning. I came back in the afternoon, and I walked and talked with her. My mother muttered, "No one handles things like this. How can I be the director of the department?" She didn't understand why the old man from her hometown liked her so much, but it was like this here. I told her, "We don't need anyone else to accompany you. It's enough for me to be here. The aunt opposite will have to find you in a few days because she doesn't have a companion. She needs a companion more than you. She is a picky person." , but people are not bad.” I now understand that my mother liked to go to the park every day in her hometown because she found the feeling of being respected and encouraged there, which felt very good. Now, I take my mother to JH on weekends, and the people there are very friendly to her. I believe she will soon feel respected, encouraged, and loved, and being loved can make people feel alive.

I don’t know if my mother will become more and more confused. The most important thing recently is to let her adapt slowly. You can’t rush her or let her do a lot of things. You can’t blame her and let her slow down. Thinking about it, what she needs most now is confidence.

My mother said that when her father left, her happy days would be over, and she would always shed tears... I hope that my mother can rely on me and feel happy again.