Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Little jokes in life can be told to classmates, which is quite funny. Please help me. Urgent! !
Little jokes in life can be told to classmates, which is quite funny. Please help me. Urgent! !
One day, I went shopping and just entered the first floor. As soon as you enter the main entrance, it is the opening of ZA cosmetic cabinet (shame begins). Loudly: Hey ~ ~ It's strange that cosmetics are also called "tie"! (The ladies around the counter are laughing) (I want to cry and drag it away directly) I was reading a newspaper at home one night and suddenly got a call from GG (inexplicably). What brand of soap did you buy me last time? Me: ... Take a shower? (I forgot long ago, because I always buy him a whole row of promotional clothes) GG: Well, I ran out of soap in the supermarket. Me: You use it every day, remember? GG: I told you, the supermarket said there was no such thing. Me: ... Never ... What card? GG: Fuck (KAO) me: ... What a rude word! GG (sadly): No! I said you bought the brand! Me: ... there is no such brand! (fire! Did I buy him this vulgar soap? ! ! ) (Three seconds epiphany) Me: "Kao"! It's Kao! Look, smarty pants! Watch it together! ! ! Gabby: Oh! (I don't live) I went to eat mango ice one day. What a big bowl ~GG that plate was swallowed in an instant. I really can't finish it. GG is still helping me scrape the bottom of the bowl (he is a trash can, just pour all the leftovers to him). I took out Mentholatum lip balm from my bag and applied it. GG (suddenly looking at me with a little surprise): This ... can also be put on your mouth? Me: Of course! Why did he take the initiative to care today? Cosmetics? ) GG: ... isn't it commonly used to apply mosquito bites? Me: This is lip balm! Lipstick! Idiot! GG: ............ (silent) (I have a bad feeling) Me: ............ looks in a daze! Say something quickly! GG: Didn't you give me one last time, saying it was bitten by a mosquito? Me: That's a big jar! It's mint sauce! A brand! GG: ............, I used your me yesterday (I gestured my lip balm): This? Did you wipe your mouth? (This is acceptable! ) GG: ............ is not me; Where is it, ............? GG:............s's foot (thunderbolt) Me (crazy ING): Then why didn't you say so earlier! ! I can't believe you painted your feet with what I put on your mouth! Will my mouth rot? T_T! ! ) GG (innocent): bitten by a mosquito! Because it is very similar to the one you gave me. Me (losing my mind): What's it like? ! ! ! GG: .......... is the same color, one is big and the other is small ... Me: (on the verge of collapse): Toilet brushes and toothbrushes are also big and small, so don't mix them! ! ! (A pair of GG and MM who peek at the next table from the corner of their eyes lie on the table and snicker) Me: Still eating! Let's go Watch and scrape the bottom of the bowl for me! GG: ......................... (why do I always get hurt) Jay Chou: Do you howl? Jolin: You're the one howling. Jay Chou: It's a typo. I mean, how are you? Jolin: Not bad. Jay Chou: Who is it? Qiu Lin: Taiwan Province Province. Jay Chou: Is it cold there? JOLIN: It's snowing all over the sky, and the cold wind is like a knife. Jay Chou: What's your name? JOLIN:JOLIN Jay Chou: I mean my real name. Qiu Lin: On QQ. Jay Chou: Say it, will you? Jolin: Why? Jay Chou: Just say it. Jolin: What should I do? Jay Chou: Because I asked. Jolin: Can't you just say what you asked? Jay Chou: I'm not a bad person. Jolin: Did the bad guys label it? Jay Chou: No. But I'm a good man. Jolin: Please send me the certificate of being a good person. Jay Chou: No. But you said this sentence to show your sincerity in making friends. Jolin:caiyilin^_^· Jay Chou: Can you beat Khan? Jolin: I don't sweat when typing. Jay Chou: I mean typing your name. Jolin: Does my name annoy you? Jay Chou: No. Jolin: Then why did you type my name? Jay Chou: I mean typing. Jolin: Which word annoys you? Jay Chou: OK, tell me your phone number. Jolin: Plastic, red. Jay Chou: No, I want you to give me your phone number. Jolin: I still need my home phone. You want to buy it yourself. Jay Chou: No, I want you to give me your phone number. Jolin: Where did the call come from? I thought it was made by the factory. Jay Chou: No, I want your phone number. Jolin: It's embedded in the mobile phone. I can't take it off. Jay Chou: What's your phone number? Jolin: Twelve, ten numeric keys, a diagonal key and a pound key. Jay Chou: I asked what the phone number was. JOLIN: From 1 to 9, with 0 at the back. Jay Chou: I'm devastated! JOLIN:? What's the matter with you Jay Chou: No JOLIN: Then how did it collapse? Terminal illness? Jay Chou: I can't get your phone number. Jolin: Is that important? Jay Chou: What's the phone for? Isn't it just to chat? You have to tell others that the phone works. Jolin: The telephone is used to surf the Internet. Jay Chou: The telephone is still used for chatting. Jolin: Yes, didn't we talk on the phone? Jay Chou: Where were we? You haven't spoken for a long time. JOLIN: I have said dozens of sentences. Jay Chou: Oh, you're confusing me. Maybe next time. Qiu Lin: Bye-bye. A student wants to give advice to his teacher. "Teacher, you ..." In class, a beautiful woman was embarrassed. "What's wrong with me?" The teacher quickly decided to lower her voice. "What are my advantages? Tell me. " This time, the beauty is more and more hesitant. The teacher continued to inspire: "Say it, don't be afraid, I can hold on!" " "I don't know from which corner of the classroom came a sentence:" But we can't hold on. " The students laughed. After the laughter stopped, the teacher said seriously, "remember this day, this is the only time I was speechless by you." "Excuse me, which strong man said that?" I haven't heard back for a long time. The teacher sighed at the sky: "So it is mature; It is more mature to say it if you don't admit it! I am very happy! " The story of a wolf and three little pigs One day, a wolf wanted to eat three little pigs, two at the door and one on the roof. Wolf: Who are you? Pig A: You're right! Wolf: What? Pig A: What's on the roof! Wolf: I mean, "What's your name?" A: Who am I? What's on the roof! The wolf couldn't ask the result, so he asked pig B. Wolf: Who are you? Who am I? Who is he? Wolf: How should I know? B: Who are you looking for? Wolf: What? He's on the roof! Wolf: Where? B: It's me! Wolf: Who? I'm not who, who is he! Wolf: God, that's my father. Wolf: What does your father do? No, he's on the roof! Wolf: Where? That's me! The wolf couldn't stand it anymore and sighed: Why? ! All three pigs replied: Do you know my grandfather? Wolf: What? a; Grandpa is why! Wolf: Why? It's a wolf: What is it? A: No, why! Wolf: Who? B: That's me! Wolf; Who are you? a; Who's that? Wolf: What? Party A and Party B; He's on the roof! The wolf and three pigs have been talking. Then the wolf 1 committed suicide. A priest is playing golf and a nun is watching. The first shot missed, and the priest scolded, "TMD, missed!" " Hit again, the priest scolded again: "TMD, missed again!" " The nun said, "God will punish you for swearing as a priest. "The words sound just fell and she heard a loud thunder chopping the nun to death. The priest wondered: Why am I the one who cursed? Why should I chop a nun to death? At this time, I only heard the voice of god from the sky: "TMD, I also missed!" ""2. Believer: "Almighty God, how long is 10,000 years for you?" God: "I blinked." Believer: "What about 654.38 billion?" God: "It's just a hair of mine." Believer: "Oh, merciful God, please give me a hair." God: "No problem, I'll give it to you in a blink." The head coaches of China, Japan and South Korea came to heaven together and asked God when their respective football teams would win the World Cup. God said: Korea needs 50 years. The Korean coach burst into tears: I won't see you again. God also said: Japan needs 100 years. The Japanese coach burst into tears: I won't see you again. China Coach quickly asked, What about us? God burst into tears: I'll never see it again. 4. There was a man who had a son in middle age and liked him very much. He tried to bring up his son and put him through college. His son is dressed in a suit and has a red face, but he is ragged and hungry. He saved money to buy a house for his son, married a wife, and became old himself. However, his son was unfilial and kicked him out of the house on a stormy night. The old man came to a ruined temple to take shelter from the rain. The old man was very sad and sighed: God, why is it so unfair to me? After a flash of lightning, an old voice said, "This is karma." At this time, the old man saw an older man coming in and out of the corner of the ruined temple. The old man was startled: "Are you a god?" The older man said, "asshole! You kicked me out more than twenty years ago. I'm your father. You don't know me anymore? " In the barber's shop, when the priest finished cutting his hair and paying the money, the barber said, "I won't accept your money, so I will serve God." The next morning, the barber saw a thank-you letter and some bibles at the door of the shop. A few days later, a policeman had to pay for a haircut. The barber said, "I don't accept your money. I only serve our community." The next morning, the barber saw another thank-you letter and some community service manuals at the door of the shop. A few days later, a government official came to have a haircut and paid for it. The barber said to him, "I will serve the government if I don't accept your money." The next morning, the barber saw a row of government officials standing in front of the door. 6. One day, Clinton's wife, Chirac, was taken to see God. She found many watches hanging in God's living room, some walking fast and some walking slowly. So she asked God's servant, "Why does God collect so many watches? And these watches don't go so fast? " The servant of God said, "These watches represent human life. Everyone in the world has a watch. If he has a lot of business, his watch will go fast, but if he has no business, his watch will go slow. " Chirac looked around and said, "Why didn't I see my husband Clinton's watch?" The servant of God said, "Your husband's watch was taken to the office by God as an electric fan! 7. An old couple born in the same year and the same month lived together for 35 years. Today, they held a grand banquet to celebrate their 60th birthday. During the dinner, God came. God praised the old couple as a real "loving couple" and promised to give each of them a wish. The old lady said excitedly, "We are poor. I just want to have a good look at the world and make a trip around the world. "God waved, and with a bang, a dozen air tickets fell into the old lady's hands from the air. It's the old man's turn to make a wish. He thought for a moment and said, "I want to marry a woman 30 years younger than me." "God is coming again. Bang! ..... The old man suddenly turned 90. 8. God pinched a person with mud, and there was a human being from then on; There were white people first-because God put clay figurines on the fire and roasted them lightly; Secondly, there are blacks-because they are worried that the heat will not reach the result; Later, when we mastered the best temperature, we became yellow people, so we were God's most successful masterpiece. 9. Little Peter proudly said to his friend, "My uncle is a priest, and everyone calls him a respected priest. "Little Paul said," My uncle is a bishop, and everyone who talks to him calls him your Excellency. "Rakus Jr. is unconvinced:" What's the big deal? My uncle weighs 150kg. When everyone saw him, they shouted, "Oh! Oh, my God! "How much does the earth weigh?" A boy in grade two asked, the teacher didn't know the answer. She responded with the best teaching skills: "This question is very interesting. Let's go back and think about it and see who can come back tomorrow. " The next day, the teacher asked a question, but no one could answer. The teacher announced the answer, which she finally found in the library. The audience was silent. Suddenly, the little boy asked, "Are people included?" A group of small animals in the village were chatting. A dog said, "Everyone in the village calls me a puppy. I think this name is very nice. At this moment, the chicken next to me said, "Let's talk, I'll go first. The answer to hilarious laughter is 1. Geography has taught that Fushun in Liaoning produces the most coal, and Anshan in Liaoning, so Fushun is called "China's". Exam questions for a month: China's coal is (), and China's iron is (). As a result, on a test paper, the coal in China is (black) and the iron in China is (hard). After the exam, he also said: How did the teacher come up with such a simple question this time? 2. A geography exam: Hainan Province is rich in ()? I filled in (Mosquito). 3. There was a senior who only had 1 to write in the political exam, but he couldn't write the leader's question, and then he wrote "I". As a result, he became the graduate student with the highest score since the school was founded. An additional question in a Chinese exam asked Prometheus what his literary works were, and a classmate actually wrote: Harry Potter. Another time, I asked Zuo Zhong Yi what his name was, and a classmate wrote: Zuo Lengchan. Even in high school, the Chinese teacher left a composition entitled' When I first walked into the campus'. In the evaluation class, the teacher read an essay written by a fairy in the class: "When I first entered the campus, my eyes were full of flowers and applause ..." After a pause of three seconds, it was' over'. Then the whole class burst into crazy applause! Hehe, this guy's composition teacher gave 80 points. The score is high. 6. In the high school Chinese exam, there is a question: What is the novel that reflects the corruption of the officialdom in the Qing Dynasty? One of my classmates can't remember clearly. He just watched several pornographic films at my house the day before and filled in the "Top Ten Torture in Manchu Dynasty". Later, our teacher read out his answers in class. 7. A political topic: China's research ship () went to the Arctic for investigation. My answer: Titanic. 8. Chinese test, word interpretation. Explain the word "death". I answered "death" (I wanted to write "death"), and the teacher was furious ... 9. In high school, someone asked me to write a descriptive article. As a result, students understand it as an article describing "sex"-grade informed criticism! 10, a physics exam, the teacher asked to fill in "who do you think is the most influential physicist", three spaces. A cow in our class wrote the teacher's name in three spaces and got the highest score. 1 1, in primary school, a classmate recited poems, and the first three sentences were called hard work. The last sentence: "A line of egrets goes to the Western Heaven"-the whole class is dizzy! 12, Q: The next sentence "Xiao He just showed his sharp corner", and someone answered "An almond came out of the wall", which is also appropriate. 13, senior one Chinese exam, "How to cut candles in the west window", fill in the following sentence. I replied, "As soon as the husband and wife sit in the morning. "The Chinese teacher fainted while reading the paper. After class, I fainted again! The correct answer: "When talking to the late rain. "Dialogue between a computer idiot and a hacker: I control your computer. How come? Hacker: Use a Trojan horse. . . . . . Where is it? I can't see the hacker: open your task manager, Xiao Bai: . . . . . Where is the task manager? Hacker:. . . . . Under your computer! ! Xiao Bai: There is nothing in my computer. Hacker: Forget it. I have never been a hacker. I have taken control of your computer. Xiao Bai: Oh, hacker: Are you afraid? ! Hey, hey, Xiao Bai: Just in time. Help me kill the virus. Recently, my computer has had many problems. . . . . . Xiao Bai: Why do you always come in and out of my computer at will? Hacker: You can install a firewall. Xiaobai: A firewall is installed, but you won't? Temple? Hacker: No, I just want to add some fun. Controlling your computer like this makes me feel stupid. Xiao Bai: I heard that you can make viruses? ! Hacker: Well, Xiaobai: You can control other people's computers? ! Hacker: Generally speaking, Xiao Bai: Can you hack those websites? Hacker: Of course, didn't you hear people call me a hacker? Xiao Bai: Yes. . . . Oh ~ ~ ~ `I thought it was because you were black. . . . "Mao ~ ~" Hacker: Here I come again! ! Xiao Bai: Don't you feel bored coming in every day? Hacker: Yes, it's annoying. Your mobile phone is the worst I have ever seen. Xiao Bai: No, it's a famous hacker brand. I mean, except for retarded games, there are only viruses in your mobile phone. Xiao Bai: Oh ~ ~ Have you seen my Lianliankan? I don't remember where it was installed. I've been looking for it for a long time. . . . . Goodbye hacker: Hi ~ ~ ~ I'm coming! Xiao Bai: I haven't seen you for several days. Are you blocked by my firewall? Hacker: Haha, just kidding, it's easier to access your computer than mine. You don't miss me, do you? Xiao Bai: I want to ask you a favor. Hacker: What is it? Xiao Bai: Can you access the power system and modify some data? . . . . . What do you want? ! Xiao Bai: Please help me settle my electricity bill this month. . . . . . Hacker: Go to hell! ! Hacker: Where the hell have you been? ! ! ! Xiao Bai: Yes. . . . I have been out for a few days. Why are you looking for me? Hacker: I'm looking for something. Xiao Bai: What are you looking for here? Hacker: Virus, find an old virus from a few years ago, only your computer has the most complete virus. Hacker: I'm coming! ! . . . . . . Hacker: Why don't you talk? Xiao Bai: In a bad mood Hacker: Who bullied you? Xiao Bai: I lost a Q number with my first love in it. Hacker: This is simple. I'll get it back for you. Xiaobai: I can't get it back. Hacker: Impossible. Tell me, what number? Xiao Bai: Woo ~ ~ ~ I just don't remember. Xiao Bai: Come out! ! ! ! Hacker: What's the matter? ! Xiaobai: Did you use my id to play in the forum? ! ! Hacker:. . . . Sorry, I forgot to tell you that I didn't do anything bad, so I made up a post. I promise I won't play again. Xiao Bai: That won't do! ! ! Hacker: What else do you want? Xiao Bai: Your post is red in the face. I blushed for the first time. I'm so happy. You must make up another hacker for me: pour! Hacker: Hey, I just did a very interesting thing, Xiao Bai: What happened? Hacker: I posted Xiaobai on the forum. Very common. Hacker: I posted it at first sight, calling the landlord a pig. Xiao Bai: Wow, it's so pleasant. I never dared. I will be banned! Hacker: Yes, it has been banned. Xiao Bai: Is this still interesting? ! Hacker: Yes, because I used your ID. Xiao Bai: Are you an expert? Hacker: It can be said that it is. Xiao Bai: How high is it? Hacker: Well, I hack myself when I'm bored. Xiao Bai: Ha, I can do it too! Hacker: # $%! You can, too? ! Xiao Bai: Yes, it turned black as soon as it was turned off. . . . . Hacker: Get out! One day, the little white rabbit MM went out to play and got lost when she came home. When she came to a fork in the road, a little gray rabbit happened to come over. The white rabbit sister asked, "Brother Grey Rabbit, my sister is lost.". Can you tell me how to get there? "When Grey Rabbit saw that White Rabbit's sister was single, she said unkindly," Do you want to know? " The white rabbit said, "Of course you want to know. Let's go. " Grey Rabbit said, "If you want to know, please make me happy!"! "".So the white rabbit made the gray rabbit happy. After that, the gray rabbit pointed to the left and the white rabbit walked forward. After a while, the white rabbit came to a fork in the road. what can I do? Here comes another little black rabbit. So the white rabbit sister asked, "Brother Black Rabbit, my sister is lost. Can you tell me how to get there? " Seeing that the white rabbit's sister was single, the black rabbit said with malicious intent, "Do you want to know?" The white rabbit said, "Of course you want to know. Come on. " The black rabbit said, "Let me be happy if you want to know!" " . So, the white rabbit made the black rabbit happy. After that, the gray rabbit pointed to the left and the white rabbit walked forward. The white rabbit went home. Soon after, she gave birth to a litter of rabbits. Can you guess what color the rabbit is? That's right. My treat. Some people guess it's white, but you say it's wrong. Someone guessed that it was black, and you said it was wrong, and then guessed it was gray, and then guessed it was variegated, and you said it was wrong ... Someone asked: What color did you say it was? Do you want to know? He said he wanted to know. You say, want to know? Joke: A man follows two nuns. There are two nuns, one is called a math nun and the other is called a logic nun. It's dark now, but they are still a long way from the monastery. Math: Have you noticed that someone in the back has been following us for 38 minutes and 30 seconds? I wonder what he wants to do. Logic: That makes sense. He wants to invade us. Math: Oh, my God! At this rate, he will catch up with us in fifteen minutes. What should we do? Logic: Of course, the only reasonable way is to walk faster. Math: It seems useless! Logic: of course it's useless. That man walks faster and faster reasonably. Math: So what should we do? At this rate, he will catch up with us in a minute. Logic: The only reasonable way is for us to split up and go that way, and I'll go this way. He can't catch both. Men continue to follow Luo Ji elder sister. The math nun arrived at the monastery safely, but she was worried that something would happen to Sister Logic, and then she saw Sister Logic enter the door. Math: Sister Logic, you are back at last! Thank god! Tell me what happened. Logic: The only reasonable thing happened. The man couldn't follow them both at the same time, so he followed me. Math: Yes, yes, but what happened later? Logic: The only reasonable thing happened. I ran like hell, and he chased like hell. Math: Then what? Logic: The only reasonable thing happened. He caught me. Math: Oh, my God! then what Logic: I did the only reasonable thing, pulling up my skirt. Math: Oh, my God, Sister Logic! What about that guy? Logic: He did the only reasonable thing. He took off his trousers. Math: Oh, my God! What happened afterwards? Logic: Is it unreasonable? A math nun, a nun who pulls up her skirt, must run much faster than a man who pulls down his pants! ! ! 2. Joke: A reporter interviewed 100 penguins and asked them what they do all day. The first one said: Eat and sleep to fight peas, and the second one said: Eat and sleep to fight peas. I have been asking 99 of them. When I asked100th, I said: Eat and sleep. The reporter asked: Why not fight peas? Penguin said: I'm fucking peas, your grandmother. More than 60 years ago, a friend told me a joke and made me laugh. Later, I was admitted to the hospital because my stomach hurt too much. Before the doctor operated on me, he asked me why I smiled like this, so I told him. He laughed hysterically and finally died laughing. I was taken to court. The judge asked me to tell a joke, and the jury decided whether it met the factual elements of manslaughter. I want to sign an exemption contract. The judge announced that the court would be adjourned and reopened a day later, and announced that he would accept my opinion. So, I told this joke in court, and as a result, some people knocked on the table with a smile and some people rolled on the ground with a smile. Later, everyone who heard the joke that day died laughing. I became a celebrity in an instant, and reporters from all walks of life asked to interview me. I know that telling this joke may constitute public infringement, so I vaguely said something to the camera to the effect that "the reason is always a lie, and the belief is always masturbation." After the program was broadcast, it caused great repercussions. Unexpectedly, one day, some mysterious plain clothes broke into my bedroom and dragged me into a dark room. After a long time, a strong light shone on my face. I barely opened my eyes and was shocked. The man sitting in front of me is the only person as famous as me-the president. The president roughly explained the purpose of arresting me, which was simple: record this joke and send it to the dictator of a hostile country in the Middle East, laughing him to death. I had to agree to his request, and at the same time put forward that this joke belongs to weapons of mass destruction and should not be aimed at civilians. The president agreed. Two weeks later, the president announced that he had mastered the key technology of the joke and successfully tested it in the desert area. This caused an uproar in the international community, and many countries panicked. International military scientists named it "Laughing Deterrence". At this moment, some eastern country suddenly announced that it had mastered this joke, and the buddy who told me this joke had taken refuge in that country. Thus, a "balance between laughter and deterrence" has been formed between us. Three years later, on April 1 day, what I was worried about all day finally happened: a terrorist organization in the Middle East stole the original technology of that joke. As a result, civilization has been destroyed as never before, and governments all over the world are in constant fear. The United Nations had to hold a global summit and finally designated April 1 day as April Fool's Day. More than 60 years have passed, and I am dying. Before leaving this world, as a historical witness, I feel it necessary to tell this joke to everyone. That day, my friend told me this joke, which was very simple and short. Just one sentence: hidden: this part of the content has been hidden, you must reply to view the funny news: you can stop laughing and laugh, please indicate which one to start laughing from. g 1。 The soldier asked the company commander: What should I do if I step on a mine in the battle? The company commander was greatly annoyed: Shit, what can I do? Pay the price for stepping on it. I haven't heard from you for a long time, and I feel very distressed. I thought of death, and I cut my pulse with potato chips; Hit you on the head with tofu; Jump over buildings with parachutes; Noodles. Everyone can die. You can invite me to dinner and support me to death. If you feel cold, please call me! Please press 1 to talk about feelings, 2 to talk about work, 3 to talk about life, 5 to introduce me, please tell me directly when you invite me to dinner, and please hang up when you borrow money from me. The giraffe married the monkey, and a year later, the giraffe filed for divorce: I will never live such a life of jumping up and down again! Monkey is furious: leave! Who has seen kissing and climbing trees! The fish said, "I kept my eyes open to leave you." The water said, "I have been flowing tirelessly all day and want to hug you." The pot said, "I'm so stubborn when I'm fucking ripe." 6. Have you eaten? Please receive the short message. The elephant put shit in the middle of the road, and an ant just passed by. Looking up at the misty mountain peak, it couldn't help singing: Alasao, this is the Qinghai-Tibet Plateau! ~~~~7, you have grown up, there are some things you should know: the sky is used for wind and rain; The land is used to grow flowers and grass; I used it to prove how great human beings are; You are used to stew vermicelli. 8. Don't worry if you don't bring paper when you are by the railway. The train will remind you: pants wipe, pants wipe, pants wipe! Don't worry, when you go to the toilet by the river and there is no paper, the frog will tell you: scratch, scratch, scratch! 9. Money can buy a house, but it can't buy a home; Marriage, but not love; Clock, but can't buy time. Money is not everything, but it is the root of pain. Give me your money and let me suffer alone! 10, God, it's so blue! Sea water, too salty! Life is too hard! Work, too annoying! And you, decree by destiny! Miss you, insomnia! It's too far to see you! What can I do? I miss you so much that I can't eat chopsticks or swallow bowls! 1 1, send you 12 Zodiac. I wish you smart as a mouse, strong as an ox, bold as a tiger, cute as a rabbit, confident as a dragon, charming as a snake, romantic as a horse, gentle as a sheep, naughty as a monkey, beautiful as a chicken, loyal as a dog and looks like a pig! 12, the beauty of learning is that people are confused; The beauty of poetry lies in inciting men and women to cheat; The beauty of a woman lies in being stupid without regrets; The beauty of a man lies in lying. 13 I only care about you. What I care about is whether I care about you or not. Do I care about you as much as I care about you? I'm dizzy! 14, have you heard of it? Looking back 500 times in my last life, I brushed it in my life. Close friends like you and me, it seems that they didn't do anything in their last life, but H turned his fucking head! 15, two counterfeiters inadvertently made counterfeit banknotes with a face value of 15 yuan, and they decided to spend them in remote mountainous areas. When they bought a 15 candied haws with 0 yuan, they cried, and the farmer gave them two 7 pieces. 16, your life portrayal: at the age of ten, learn to bathe yourself-pigs wash themselves; Brilliant at the age of twenty ―― when the pig is young; Looking for a job at the age of 30-starting a pig-raising career; At the age of forty, I hired a servant-a pig's servant; Learn to play basketball at the age of 50 ―― throw pigs!
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