Tentacle joke

Some people say I am handsome. I stood on the balcony all night thinking about who leaked the news ... It is said that when I was born, my father cried at the top of his voice for a month and a half. He killed me and didn't believe that I was a child of his chromosome inheritance. Later, in order to prove her innocence, my mother took my father to the hospital for paternity test. The doctor lifted the quilt and cried at a glance. He wiped his nose and said, "Go home. This is not your son. It doesn't belong to anyone. Humans can't give birth to such a handsome child ... An intern nurse came over and immediately found a box of red inkpad, printed my fingerprints, and scattered the hair at once, mumbling to me: long hair. /kloc-When I was 0/5 years old, I was afraid to go to school. I haven't been to kindergarten for a long time. All the children, teachers and directors in the garden are crazy, and my face is swollen into watermelon by the little girl. The CCTV focus talk show group came to interview me, and the beautiful woman carrying the camera fainted three times. The little girl in charge of taking notes wrote Chinese in Italian and Spanish. The United Nations allocated funds to build me a hiding place at the top of Mount Everest in the Himalayas. I enjoy the real peace, the blue sky is close to me, and God is at my fingertips. Although clean, but also extremely boring, I stood at the top and shouted: "I am not handsome!" " "Suddenly, the voice of God came from the sky:" No, you are lying ... "