Super funny kid jokes (more)

Children’s Joke Series:

Ivan came home with a bleeding nose. His mother asked, "What happened?"

"A boy bit me," Ivan said.

"Can you recognize him when you see him again?" Mom asked.

“I recognize him wherever he goes,” Ivan said. "His ears are still in my pocket."

The old lady exclaimed after watching the race: "It's really scary. The coal diggers were kneeling in a row. Someone wanted to shoot them, but they shot without aiming. The children were so frightened that they ran away!

The mother mouse suspected that her husband was having an affair. Suddenly, she followed her into the bushes. Soon a hedgehog came out. The female mouse grabbed the hedgehog and said, "You said there was no affair. Tell me!" Who are you trying to seduce with so much mousse? ”

Teacher: “I have two questions. If you can answer the first question, you don’t need to answer the second question. "

"How many hairs do you have? "The teacher asked.

"One hundred and twenty million roots. "The student replied.

"How do you know? "The teacher asked.

"The second question does not require an answer. "The student said.

1. Question: While... while...

Children: He was taking off his clothes and putting on his pants at the same time.

Teacher’s comment: Should he take it off? Or should he wear it?

2. Topic: Among them

Children: One of my left feet is injured.

Teacher’s comments: Are you a centipede?

3. Topic: Lu Lu Lu Lu Xue

Children: After get off work, dad comes home one after another.

Teacher’s comments: How many fathers do you have?

4. Topic: Sadness

Children: There is a ditch in front of my house. It’s sad.

Teacher’s comments: The teacher is even sadder

5. Topic: Again

Children: My mother is short, tall, fat and thin

Teacher’s comment: Is your mother a Transformer?

6. Question: Look

Children: What are you looking at! Haven’t you seen it?

Teacher’s comment: Don’t be too arrogant

7. Title: Thriving

Children write: Thriving Confession.

Teacher’s comment: Don’t watch the series Too many!

8. Topic: Delicious

Children wrote: Tasty as hell.

Teacher: .........

9. Topic: Innocence

Children wrote: It’s so hot today.

Teacher’s comment: You are so innocent

10. Topic: Sure enough

The child said: Yesterday I ate fruit and then drank cold water

Teacher’s comment: They are phrases and cannot be separated

11. Question: First... ...and then... Example: Eat first, then take a shower.

Children: Goodbye, sir!

Teacher’s comment: ......... ........

12. Topic: What's more

Children: A train passed by, what's more, what's more, what's more

Teacher's comment: I'm dead Forget it

13.

When I was in my third year of high school, there was a beautiful woman sitting in front of me. She didn’t know where to get those incomprehensible things one night. During self-study, she said to me with a sly smile: "I'll tell you a riddle for you to guess. If you can guess it right, I can do anything you want, but I don't think you can guess it, hehe..."

Looking at her face with that contemptuous smile, I said: "Okay, you tell me, there is no mystery in the world that I can't do!" ! "

So she said: "It's as big as a palm, furry, with a black hole in the middle.

What do you think it is? "After saying that, she snickered at me...

When I heard this - I was dumbfounded and didn't know what to say. But as soon as I thought about it, I smiled at her and winked at her and said: "I also have a riddle with a somewhat similar answer to yours, so why don't you take a guess? It's nine inches long, hard, and we are very close..."

When she heard this, her face changed. She got angry and refused, saying that I was teasing her. She called the head teacher in tears... but I was really scared to death!

The head teacher asked me what was wrong with her, so I just told her. She told me what she had guessed. When the class teacher heard this, she got angry and said, "Look at you, you are still like this in your senior year of high school. Don't you want to go to college?" You two, look at what nonsense you are obsessed with, and write a review together tomorrow! ! "

The girl felt even more aggrieved upon hearing this, and said: "My mystery is not some mess! ! ! ”

Head teacher: “Oh, tell me what it is?” ”

“It’s cow ears! ! "

The head teacher was surprised for a long time after hearing this, and said to me angrily: "Look at you, people's mysteries are awesome. Can you tell me what your mysteries are?" "

"My mystery is the horns..."

The head teacher vomited blood after hearing this...