Read "Chang'an Rebellion" and tell you a serious joke

The book "Chang'an Rebellion" mainly tells the story of a monk named Shiran who rode a donkey named Xiaobian and traveled around the world with his wife Xi Le. Of course, Han Han's writing style is always a bit cynical, but he writes a lot of great principles based on Buddhist theory. It seems like a joke to us, but after laughing, we look back and think that Chang'an is the world, and that is indeed the case. A mess.

Since the story is about a monk, there must first be a temple. If there is a temple, there will be a monk. If there is a monk, there will be an abbot. The abbot is the master. Generally, the master is defined as a wise man, so What a wise man says is a great truth. For example, the master said: "Although the world belongs to a few people, it must be seen by the majority of people." You cannot exchange your life for what you have brought here, unless you exchange your life for it.”

To give the story a framework, Chang'an is the world, and if there are worlds, there will be rivers and lakes, and if there are rivers and lakes, there will be factions. The two famous factions at that time were naturally the Shaolin School and the Wudang School that everyone is most familiar with. These two groups are naturally bitter enemies. After all, the difference between long hair and no hair is really big.

When the world is in chaos, the world will be in chaos first. How did the world get into chaos? This is how Shi Ran witnessed the chaos in a competition to elect a martial arts leader when he was five years old. In any activity, we know that rules are very important, safety is very important, and friendship is very important. Once these three indicators are missing, no matter how good the faction is, chaos will occur. This is what Master said when you can't bear it anymore and there is no need to bear it anymore.

The place for the competition was on the roof of the tallest building in Chang'an, a brothel. Naturally, the martial arts competition ended at the end, but the Wudang people threw the Shaolin people from the roof and fainted. The master was furious and immediately asked the Shaolin disciples to tear down the stairs and surround the brothel to prevent the Wudang people from coming down. The phenomenon at that time was that Shaolin was close to Chang'an and nearly a thousand people came, while Wudang only sent a few hundred people thousands of miles away from Chang'an. Representatives came over, so Wudang people did not dare to enter the brothel. After a stalemate for fourteen days, the new generation of martial arts leader was starved to death on the roof of a brothel by the Shaolin people. From then on, the world was in chaos.

I have to say that this martial arts competition is really a big joke. It could have been a good competition, a winner and a loser, and then everyone would go back to their respective families, but it happened that the factions did not abide by the rules of the world and became intolerable. No need to endure it anymore.

When the world is in chaos, the world is in chaos. How is the world in chaos? Shi Ran once asked Master, why is the world in such chaos? Master said that because the ancients said something wrong, "Heroes emerge from troubled times." Everyone wants to be a hero, so troubled times are created. I wanted to feel relieved that I couldn't understand Master's words at that time, so Master said to him, "In prosperous times, heroes emerge." The world will be at peace. He didn't understand that the Master's words had a certain truth and certainty. Just like when he was seven years old, he found a cave outside the temple. Every time he went in, he would faint. He asked the Master, and the Master said not to be too curious about everything, otherwise you will regret it. As a result, when Ji Ran left the Shaolin Temple at the age of eighteen, he still remembered the cave and insisted on exploring it, and finally got the result that made him vomit.

Shi Ran truly understood Master's saying, "In troubled times, heroes emerge." It was when he and Xi Le traveled around the world together. I remember that in the book, Shiran and Xile met a fight in an inn, which already explained why the world was in such chaos. The general content is as follows:

People from two places. People from one place suffered from drought and said that there was no harvest of watermelons this year, so they were rare and more expensive than rabbits. People in another place who have not suffered from drought feel that watermelons are more expensive than meat. As they talk, the two parties representing melons and rabbits quarrel with each other. They refuse to admit defeat and list out why rabbits are expensive or why melons are expensive. Gui, the quarrel was red-faced. The person who said the hare was Gui Gui suddenly stood up and shouted: I just said Gua Gui is Gui Gui. Who said Gua Gui is Gui Gui? The wild rabbit is too expensive, grandpa, who will I kill?

Then everyone was in chaos. Some were drawing knives, some were drawing daggers, and some were beating each other up from the bench, fighting each other.

Dozens of people were fighting with dozens of weapons, because they didn’t know each other beforehand, and once the camp was in chaos, you wouldn’t know who was who. It was inevitable that some people thought that rabbits were too expensive to beat one person for half a day, and some people even tried to fight them before they were about to die. Said: Even if you beat me to death, I will say that rabbits are expensive. In such a situation, I had no choice but to beat the man to death. After the beating, although everyone was red-eyed, they were still rational. Before the beating, they asked: rabbit or melon? They only took action when they found out there was a disagreement. A rabbit asked a stranger whether a rabbit or a melon was more expensive. The man wanted to say, how could a melon be more expensive than a rabbit? As soon as he said a word, he was knocked unconscious by a bench. The scene was terrible, which shows that you should not pay too much attention to your speech at critical moments. Grooming. By the end of the beating, all the wounded, dead, and unconscious were lying on the ground. Only one person who thought the melons were expensive was still standing. That man climbed on the table and wanted to say something, but found that he was confused. I couldn't remember whether my position was that rabbits or melons were more expensive, and I was in agony. Suddenly I recognized a guy below who was beaten to death by me, so I thought that if I asked that person what his position was, he would naturally know his own position, so he He stepped forward, grabbed the man, and asked: Rabbit or melon? The man originally believed that rabbits are more valuable, but when he saw the enemy coming again, in order to save his life, he pretended to be his friend with the strong man. He was so frightened that he quickly changed his mind and said: Melons, melons are more valuable. The man laughed, knocked him out with a punch, jumped on the stage again, and shouted to the wounded: Haha, rabbits are still more expensive! At this time, there was a person from Guagui who had broken his hands and feet. He recognized the man at the table and knew that he had mistaken his position. He reminded him: Brother, brother, you are wrong, it is Guagui. The natural consequence was that the person who spoke was killed with a knife.

Do you feel faint from laughing when you see this? Now can you understand that the world is in chaos because the saying "heroes emerge from troubled times" is wrong. It is necessary to fight for a hero from such a small thing. Come on, the result is that the person who won didn’t even understand his position. This also explains why Shi Ran asked Master why he believed what the ancients said? Master said that except for the emperor, we are all ordinary people. The ordinary people are all fools, and the emperor is a big fool.

In fact, "Chang'an Chaos" looks like a joke book, but in fact most of the content is philosophical, but Han Han uses a humorous tone to satirize various phenomena in the world of Chang'an. Can you believe that the tallest building in Chang'an City, the capital of a country, is a brothel? Can you imagine that a martial arts leader election that shocked the whole country would take place on the roof of a brothel? Do you think a monk riding a donkey with no skills other than running fast can become a martial arts leader? All this is just a joke, making the world laugh, the world laughing, and the court laughing. In the end, the whole world in Chang'an just stopped laughing.