My wife is feeling uncomfortable. Do you have any jokes to make her laugh?

1. A farmer will kill chickens tomorrow. When feeding the chickens in the evening, he says: Eat quickly, this is your last meal! The next day, I saw the chicken lying down and leaving a suicide note: I have eaten rat poison, so you don’t want to eat me either. I am not someone to be trifled with~! 2. You are dragging a pig shopping, looking very happy. These jokes will make you think: 1. When my son came home, he excitedly told his father: "The teacher said that a child who eats hippo milk will gain 20 pounds in one month." The father said sternly: "That's nonsense." This is happening! Whose child is it? "It's Hippo's child," the son answered seriously. 2. One day, Zhang San was driving on a mountain road. While he was enjoying the beautiful scenery leisurely, a truck suddenly drove towards him. The driver, who was full of black teeth, rolled down the window and yelled at him: "Pig" The more Zhang San thought about it, the more puzzled and angry he became, so he rolled down the window and turned around to curse: "You are a pig!" As soon as he finished cursing, he ran into a group of pigs crossing the road. 3. The little boy asked his father: "Does a father always know more than a son?" The father replied: "Of course!" The little boy asked: "Who invented the electric light?" Dad: "It was Edison." The little boy asked again: "Then why didn't Edison's father invent the electric light?" 4. A big solid lock was hung on the door, and an iron rod couldn't pry it open after a lot of effort. When the key came, his thin body got into the keyhole, and with just a slight turn, the big lock opened with a "snap". The iron rod asked strangely: "Why can't I open it with so much effort, but you opened it easily?" The key said: "Because I know his heart best." During the battle, the captain suddenly discovered an enemy plane diving down towards the position. As usual, when you find an enemy plane diving, you should lie down without hesitation. But the captain did not lie down immediately. He found a little soldier still standing four or five meters away from him. Without thinking too much, he made a flying leap and pressed the little warrior tightly beneath him. At this time, there was a loud noise, and splashes of soil fell on them one after another. The captain patted the dust on his body and looked back. He was shocked: the place where he was just now was blown into a big crater. Then, he said with sympathy: "The quality of a person depends on who he is with." Before you finished speaking, you saw the pig abandoning you with disdain. 3. If a centipede is bitten by a snake, its limbs must be amputated to prevent the venom from spreading! The centipede thought: Fortunately it has many legs~! ! The doctor comforted him: Brother, be considerate, you will be an earthworm in the future~ 4. Fish said: I open my eyes all the time, just to keep you in my eyes forever~ Water said: I am flowing all the time, Just to be able to hug you forever~~ Guo said: He’s almost ripe, and he’s still so poor! ! 5. The fish said again: If there is any mouse medicine for sale, I will commit suicide too! ! ! ~~ No one can eat it! ! ! ~~~ I am worse than a chicken and not easy to mess with~~~! ! ! I can't even drink the soup! ! ! ! ! ~The pot has to be still~~~~~ 6. I told my mother that I like you and I want you to go to my house and accompany me day and night. Do you understand? Through these days of interaction, I found that I can no longer live without you, but my mother refused. She said: Pigs are not allowed to be raised at home! 7. Big Brother married a mobile phone and gave birth to a PHS. The PHS looked disgusting, had a very poor signal, could not roam, could not send text messages to each other, and was heartbroken. After DNA testing, it was discovered that the biological father was not a Big Brother, but a walkie-talkie. ~ 8. Where are you? I can't get through on the phone. I'm so worried. I have something important to ask you. When I see the message, I will go to the epidemic prevention station for a physical examination as soon as possible! Here comes your chance~ If you pass the physical examination, you will be transferred from a private pig pen to a state-owned pig farm~ 9. The elephant discharged its feces in the middle of the road. An ant happened to be passing by. It looked up at the mist-shrouded peak. , couldn’t help but sigh: Yeah, this is the Qinghai-Tibet Plateau~~ 10. You are already a grown man, there are some things that I should let you know! The sky is used to blow the wind; the earth is used to grow grass; I am used to prove the greatness of mankind; you are used to stew vermicelli~~