Please tell a joke.

A vicious murderer died and went to eighteen levels of hell. He heard the teacher calling for help on the floor below him. The murderer was puzzled and asked the judge, "Why did the teacher go to the 0/9 floor of Hell/KLOC?" Answer: "You only hurt the human body, and he hurts the human soul."

6. Piggy set up a club and said: Members should call me Piggy's nickname! Dog: Call me puppy! Kitten: Call me kitten! The chicken blushed and said calmly, it's really boring. Go first!

7. On a business trip to Xi 'an, a Dalian native boasted a lot about how good Dalian was, and then said that Dalian held a grand celebration at the centenary of the founding of the city, and then asked the people next to him, "Is there any celebration for the centenary of Xi 'an? "Next to a few Xi Ann's elder brothers, all stunned. After a while, a sentence came out: "I remember there was a' bonfire emperor' when the city was built 600 years ago." "

8. The air in senior three makes me suffocate, just like the terrain of Dust2, which I am already familiar with; I don't go to the canteen now, just like I don't play with snow when I go to CS. Girls on campus are becoming more and more tacky, just like some novices are still swimming around in the warehouse; Single life is empty, just like no one follows me when charging; The only serious business is graduation design, which is worse than cheating in CS.

9. Once upon a time, there was a landlord who said to his servant one day, "Face and face look alike. Later, please wash your face. " Invite your host to eat noodles, so to speak, invite your host to eat noodles. Understand? "One day, he went to a friend's house for his birthday, ate and drank, and rested in a chair. The host invited him to eat birthday noodles, but he looked away and said no. The servant said at once, "My master is shameless. "

10. In a class, the teacher asked such a question: "What did the martyr Fang Zhimin say before his death?" A person wears headphones to listen to the walkman, but doesn't pay attention to his own volume. He said that sentence for Comrade Fang Zhimin: "Come on! Hit me with money! ...."

1 1. Once I went out to have breakfast with my classmates, while a classmate was eating, a dog ran up to him and wagged its tail. He looked at the dog for a long time and said, "call dad and I'll give it to you."

12. In a Chinese class, the teacher asked us to make couplets. He made a couplet: "Looking at the present era, students must make progress." A classmate was neat, but was ordered to write an 800-word review. He is right: "Look at the world now, teachers are shameless and dirty ..."

13. Ten men and a woman were holding on to a straw on the plane at the same time. They all know that the lifeline can only bear the weight of ten people, but who should go down? Everyone, look at me, I look at you, and they are all silent. Finally, the lady spoke: OK, let me go down. We women always sacrifice for you men, washing and cooking for you-let me sacrifice for you again! In a word, ten people were moved to applaud ..........! You said this woman would never stop! ?

14. An old man stood sharpening his knife and an old woman was sharpening it with a kitchen knife. After the kitchen knife was ground, the old woman reached for her purse and found it was a thief's hand. The thief ran away when he saw that the situation was not good, but the wallet had been taken away by the thief. What happened? The old woman chased 300 meters with a kitchen knife and chased the thief all the way. The thief was finally scared to lie on the ground and was picked up by the old woman like a chicken. Later, many people advised the old woman: "Aunt, you caught it, please don't be angry!" "