Who can tell me some hilarious jokes? Please collect it indefinitely.

1. Waiting in line in the canteen, I heard a boy next to me say, "Master, a bowl of bullet cauliflower soup!" (Porphyra and egg soup) Haha, I laughed until I sprayed the soup. 2. One day, eating in a rice noodle shop was slow and hungry. Finally, I couldn't bear to strike the table and roar. I wanted to say no to rice noodles, so I lifted the table! The result said, "Boss! ! ! ! I'll eat the table without rice noodles! ! ! ! "After the whole store was silent for 3 seconds, the audience burst into laughter ... ashamed ... 3. Once I went to buy mutton skewers, I stretched out four fingers and said to the boss," Three kebabs. " The boss received "How much?" I held out three fingers and said "four" ... 4. Our general manager's surname is Zhou. I was driving as soon as he called. When I get nervous, I say, "Premier Zhou …" 5. My name is Zhu, and I manage the computer room of the unit. Someone called my cell phone once. "Chicken head, are you in the pigsty?" At that time, he taught the guy a lesson. 6. A leader said, "I wish you all good health ..." Hold your breath and say nothing. 7. When my parents quarreled, my father said angrily, "I want to go out!" 8. I play basketball in high school. After getting the ball, A selflessly passed it to B, and B scored easily. After a while, B got the ball and A shouted to pass it to him. B threw it himself. As a result, A shouted angrily. I was really blind just now ... 10. I was impressed that the monitor of primary and secondary schools was extremely serious. A self-study class, the classroom was crowded with people. ! ! ..... The whole class was silent 1 1. I just went to college, military training. The company commander didn't know where the accent came from and shouted the password-"Drill to the left!" "Drill to the right!" 13. A colleague asked me yesterday. How to write festivals? I replied. Add a festival section under the grass prefix and remove the grass prefix! All the staff burst into laughter! I haven't replied yet! 14. When I was cooking at noon, my mother made me a pot of carrots. "Go, cut the carrots into diced meat!" 15. When I was looking for a job, the examiner asked me when I would graduate. I wanted to say 2000, but when I got excited, I said, "Two thousand years ago …" What's more, the examiner sighed and said, "Confucius' student." 17. The physics teacher talked about Bo. "This is a thick spring. I pushed it from both ends to see if it became dense (constipation)? " 18. Drink with leaders and others, raise your glass and say loudly, "Let's die together!" My brain was too hot at that time ... 19. Boss, is there any toilet paper to satisfy my hunger? The Chinese teacher recited a poem named "Wochun" on the podium, with rich expressions. I hope you can write down in your notebook: "Wochun": ebony smells flowers, branches hurt the bottom, and it is easy to reach spring green. The shore is green, the shore is green and the shore is dark green. I didn't expect a classmate's note to read like this: I'm stupid: I have no education and my IQ is very low. Ask me who I am, donkey. I am a donkey, I am a donkey, I am a stupid donkey. A motorcyclist likes to wear clothes backwards, that is, buckle his buttons at the back to keep out the wind. One day, he drove under the influence of alcohol, overturned and fell headlong on the side of the road. When the police arrived ... Policeman A: What a terrible car accident. Policeman B: Yes, I hit my head in the back. Officer A: Well, he's still breathing. Let's help him turn his head back. Policeman B: OK ... One, two, push, turn around. Policeman A: Well, I didn't breathe ... One day, when the teacher came into the classroom, the students stood up and shouted, "Good morning, teacher!" " "The teacher said angrily," just good morning? What shall I do in the afternoon? Not good? So the students shouted together: "Good afternoon, teacher! "The teacher said angrily," What shall I do at night? " The students shouted together again: "Good evening, teacher!" " The teacher nodded and said, "That's it. Now shout it again! " The students shouted: "Good morning, teacher, good afternoon and good evening!" " The teacher said, "Sit down! Today we are going to review antonyms. Let's practice like this. When I say something, you say the antonym loudly. From now on. Teacher: "The weather is fine today. Student: "The weather is terrible today. "Teacher:" There is sunshine everywhere. Student: "There are clouds everywhere. "Teacher:" The road is crowded with people. " Student: "There is no one on the road. "Teacher:" Young. " Student: "Old." Teacher: "Stand." Student: "Lie down. Teacher: "There is a young man standing on the road. Student: "There is an old man lying on the road. Teacher: "I found a dollar." Student: "I lost a dollar." "Teacher:" I found a dollar and gave it to the teacher. "Student:" I stole a teacher and lost a dollar. "Teacher:" No, you can't say that! ""Student: "Correct, you should say so!" Teacher: the wrong student: the right teacher: this is no good, this is an illegal student: this is a legal teacher: I said the wrong student: we said the right teacher: listen to our teacher, the teacher said the right student: listen to us, the teacher said the wrong teacher: you stupid students: we are smart teachers: stop students. Stop Student: "Now go on! Let's talk about the teacher again: "You idiots, I said stop the students." We are all geniuses. We said continue the teacher: "You listen to the teacher's students." Now you stop practicing the students. "Now we continue to practice the teacher:" Are you endless? " Student: "We must finish what we started!" " Teacher: "Then stop! Stupid pig! " Student: "Then we should continue! Genius! " Then the teacher angrily walked out of the classroom with the book in his arms.