Does anyone have a joke to share?

1. I met a foreigner that day and asked me, "Do you really have kung fu? Will China people show? "

I said, "Of course, I won't mention internal force and hidden weapons. The deepest part of Kung Fu is acupuncture, which even primary school students in China can learn. "

The foreigner shook his head in disbelief, and I immediately practiced a few hands to show him: rubbing Tianxue, pressing Jingming point, rubbing Sibai point, and scraping my eyes by pressing the temple wheel. ......

The foreigner was amazed on the spot.

2. A: "Depressed, the blind date failed again, and everything started well. Later, the woman said that it would take 500,000 rooms and 50,000 cars to get married. I said the house was ok, but the car was not, so it blew ... "

B: "Can you afford a car for such an expensive house?"

Answer: "Can a car afford gasoline?" ! ! ! "

3. Two neighbors are chatting on the plane: "Boxing is a great sport! I like this sport very much. I make a living by boxing and I have made a lot of money this year. "

"So, you are a famous boxer?"

"No, no, I'm a dentist."

4, robbery diary excerpt:

I stole a Santana yesterday, and all four wheels and steering wheel were gone at night. There are so many bad guys now.

I made full preparations today and went to the bank. There are two couples quarreling, which is nothing more than who slept with whom. I'm tired of watching this shit. Shouting: robbery ... the salesperson said: go cool. I couldn't take it anymore, so I came out.

1, dad drank too much and fell asleep when he got home. After sleeping for a while, I suddenly sat up and said, "water, water!" " "

The son poured his father a bowl of water, and his father took it and drank it off. Then I grabbed a few on the wall and fell asleep.

After a while, my father got up again and called for water. My son poured another bowl of water. After drinking, my father grabbed a handful on the wall.

The son wondered why his father did this, so he poured a bowl of water and drank it like his father. Unexpectedly, he grabbed the wall and scolded, "It's so hot!"

A rich woman is so proud of owning a precious antique that she wants to paint her bedroom the same color as a vase. Several painters want to paint the background color, but no one can satisfy this eccentric rich woman.

Finally, a painter came. He is very confident that he can adjust the color. The woman was very satisfied with his achievements, and the painter became famous in one fell swoop.

Many years later, he retired and handed over the business to his son. "Dad," said the son, "I have to understand one thing. How did you make the color of the wall match the vase so perfectly? "

Father replied, "I painted the vase."

3. "I saw a guy hitting a woman today."

"Did you stop it?"

"Yes, I ran up to him and said: It's not a hero to hit a woman, why not hit a man?"

"What happened later?"

"Later ... later ... I don't know anything."

4. Someone took part in a god of food competition, swallowed a chicken, nine hamburgers and a big piece of apple pie, and finally won the championship.

Before stepping down, he said to others, "Don't tell my wife, or I won't have lunch."