Hello! Any jokes? what else

1 female models pose in the human sketch class.

A boy raised his hand and said, "Teacher, it wasn't like this yesterday."

The teacher said, "How should I adjust it?"

The boy swallowed saliva and said loudly, "Left leg to the left, right leg to the right!" " "

2. A young lady saw the B-ultrasound examination list given by the doctor, but she didn't know where to do it.

Miss: Doctor, where is this 13 super?

Doctor: Not 13, but B-ultrasound!

Miss: Your B score is too wide! (loudly)

3. Xiaoming: "What is the happiest thing"?

A Dai: "Make love"!

Xiaoming: "What could be happier than this?" ?

A Dai: One more time!

4. A little teacher stuttered.

Lead the students to read the text in class one day.

Teacher: "About ... about ... about ... about ... about ... about ... about.

After the students read aloud, they said, "About … About … About … About … About … About ……"

The teacher who was listening to the class next to him smiled.

The teacher was very anxious and said to his students, "No matter how many times I go, you are only allowed to go once."

5. A Dai: "Why don't I have my Lamian Noodles? I have been waiting for a long time! "

Dude: "Don't worry, don't worry, the master is pulling!" " "

Then the master came with hot noodles and said enthusiastically, "I just pulled this!" " It's still steaming. Please eat! "

Because of the busy work, the salesman is not at home for five days a week. Naturally, I apologize to my wife and want to compensate her for the whole weekend!

One Saturday, when they were making out in that creaking bed … suddenly! !

The old lady next door knocked on the wall and shouted, are you finished? There are seven days in a week! Can't you take a day off?

7. The President and his wife visited the pig farm.

General manager: "How many times does that robust breeding pig mate with sows a day?"

Owner: "There are about ten times a day on average!"

Madam President: "Look at people! Look at you again! "

General manager: "Excuse me, does that kind of pig mate with the same sow every day?"

Farm owner: "No, it is breeding with different sows."

The president said to his wife, "Look at him! Look at you again! "

On Mr. Lin's wife's birthday, she asked Lin Sheng to take her to a strip club to broaden her horizons. Lin Sheng was so entangled that he had to obey.

At the gate of the strip club, the waiter said politely, "Welcome, Mr. Lin." Mr. Lin stood nervously, but Mrs. Lin stared.

Entering the strip club, the foreman said, "Welcome, Mr. Lin. Are you still sitting in your original seat? " Mrs Lin's angry face began to turn blue.

At the beginning of the performance, the stripper twisted her waist and took off her clothes one by one with the rhythm of the music.

Jiaosheng shouted, "Whose is this?"

"Mr. Lin, of course!" All the guests said in unison.

By this time, Mrs. Lin had fainted.

Mr. Lin quickly picked her up and got on the bus.

Mrs. Lin suddenly woke up and roared, "You liar, bastard and beast!" " "

The taxi driver said, "Mr. Lin, this girl you are looking for tonight is very provocative!" " "

9. A couple is very loving.

What are you thinking now?

As you can imagine.

The woman immediately slapped the man and scolded him: you rascal!

10, the biting invigilator found a student cheating, so he angrily pointed at the student and shouted: You … you … you … you … you … you dare to cheat, stand up!

Then five students stood up!

1 1, a mental patient screamed: I am the dean, you all have to listen to me!

The attending doctor asked him: Who said that?

Patient: God said.

A patient next to him jumped up at once: I never said that!

Mom and Dad took A Dai to the beach in California for a holiday.

Foreigners on the beach are swimming naked.

A Dai: Dad, why isn't your penis as big as those uncles?

Dad: ... because ... those uncles are richer than dad.

After a while. A Dai wants to drink coke, and dad goes to the store to buy it alone.

A Dai stayed at the beach with his mother, but when his father came back, he found that his mother had disappeared.

Dad: What about your mother?

A Dai: Dad, just after you left, a rich uncle came. He looked at my mother, more and more money. Then my mother left with him.

14, cars of Xinjiang people and Henan people collided. Xinjiang people came down to have a look and thought there was nothing wrong with the car, so they said forget it.

Henan people also smiled and said no problem, so they took out a bottle of wine from the car.

Henan people: Brother, there is nothing wrong with the car. Let's drink some wine to suppress our shock!

Xinjiang people took a swig of wine and handed it to Henan people.

Xinjiang people: Brother, have some, too.

Henan people: I'm in no hurry. I'll drink it when the police come and see it.

15, a woman lost her way in the forest and was spoiled by the monkey king after being caught by the monkey.

I went home a few months later and gave birth to a child. The husband waited anxiously outside the delivery room.

At last the doctor came out.

Husband: Are mother and child safe?

Doctor: Everything is all right.

Husband: Boys and girls?

Doctor: I don't know. I ran away without seeing it clearly when I was born, and now I still refuse to come down on the chandelier.

16, Indian police all have beards.

One day, a restaurant held a family activity for the police and the people, and the police ate for free.

A policewoman went straight to the door after dinner, and the hotel waiter hurried forward to stop her.

Attendant: The police are free. At first glance, you are not a policeman. You have to pay!

Policewoman: I'm a secret policeman with a beard below!

17, my husband drove out.

My wife listens to the radio at home. When she heard the report, she quickly picked up the phone.

Wife: honey, I just heard on the radio that there is a car reversing on the expressway. You must be careful.

Husband: Which one is it? I think hundreds of cars are going backwards.

18, after the village head returned from overseas inspection.

The village chief told his wife that foreigners' women were screaming in bed, which was very provocative.

Sleep with my wife at night, and she closes her eyes silently.

Village head: "Why don't you scream?"

The wife shouted, "The village chief is Japanese! ! "

19, Xiao Xin: Dad, why are there three gold medals in my name?

Dad: You are short of gold in your life, so you are named Xin, just like some people are short of water, so you are named Miao, and some people are short of wood, so you are named Sen.

Xiao Xin: Dad, what do you think is missing from Sister Guo Jingjing's life?

20. Xiaoming loves watching detective dramas. From the first minute of the opening ceremony, he was looking for the murderer and never missed a suspicious word or a foreshadowing.

On this day, I went to see another play called Murder in Park Street.

When the waiter led him to his seat, the curtain had just been opened.

Attendant: "Are you satisfied with your seat? Sir. "

Xiao Ming: "Of course, thank you."

Attendant: "Shall I take your hat to the cloakroom?"

Xiao Ming: "No, thanks." Xiao Ming thought it was time for him to go, but the waiter didn't.

Attendant: "Do you want a program?"

Xiao Ming: "No, thanks."

Attendant: "There are still pictures on it."

Xiao Ming: "Thank you."

Attendant: "or a telescope?" Xiao Ming angrily refused.

The waiter asked him if he wanted chocolate cake and a bottle of champagne, and the plot began to get tense.

Xiaoming is angry and anxious. "No, I don't want anything. Go to hell. "

The waiter finally found that tipping was not allowed here, so he gave Xiao Ming a terrible revenge. Pointing to the stage, he said in Xiaoming's ear with a voice full of hatred, "The murderer is a gardener."