Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - lie
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One day, the duck saw a street performer holding a long flute, his lips pointed to that end, and then the flute made beautiful music. The duck thinks, "It's so simple, you don't have to do anything, just aim your lips at that small hole." He skipped home and told his mother the dream. Mother smiled and said, "Son, how many people are playing the flute in the world now!" " "Duck inexplicably nodded and left. The duck once again saw a star giving a concert. They sang and danced on the stage, and everyone applauded. The duck thinks, "I want to be a star, too." When he got home, he said to his mother, who said to him, "Son, is it easy to be a star?" The duck paused and walked away. The third time, the duck saw a clown. The clown laughed and laughed on the stage, grimaced and told jokes, and everyone was listening. "
Luo Luo Luo "kept laughing. The duck thinks, "I must be a clown and make everyone laugh." When the duck comes home, she says to her mother, "What do you want to do, son?" "The duck clenched his fist and said," I want to be a clown, unchanged! " Mother duck looked at the duck and said nothing.
This duck is going to be a clown. It imitates the clown. First, it takes a cherry, digs a hole, puts it on its nose, and draws its eyes. It went to the river and said to the ducks in the lake, "Hello, everyone, I'll tell you a joke. Once upon a time, there was a temple in the mountains ... "The ducks listened for a while and shouted," It's not funny! " As he spoke, he swam away, and the duck got up to chase, only to encounter the stone under his feet and fall down. The duck told another joke to the wild boar family. The wild boar father thought it was not funny at all, so he drove the duck away with a broom. ...
The duck went home dejectedly. His mother saw this and comforted him: "It's all right, son!" " The duck nodded and said, "It seems that I am still not fit to be a clown." I'd better do my duty as a duck! "The duck looked at his mother with a satisfied smile on his face.
Fairy Tale 2 There are many animals living in the forest, from elephants to ants. One of them, an old goat, opened a forest hospital, which specializes in treating animals and never collects money.
In a big forest, Uncle Goat opened a goat hospital to treat all the small animals in the forest. Uncle goat helps others and regards animals as a little contribution to the forest, so there is no charge for treatment.
One day, piggy walked slowly into the hospital, clutching his stomach, and said to Uncle Goat, "Uncle Goat, please look at my stomach. I am in pain! " After examination, the pig got appendicitis. Later, uncle goat prescribed medicine for the pig on time, and soon the pig stopped hurting.
Once, the puppy's foot accidentally plunged into a sharp needle, and the puppy limped to the hospital and asked Uncle Goat for help. Uncle goat carefully pulled out the needle and solved the problem for the puppy. Once, rabbits got tooth decay because they loved fructose. The rabbit covered the sore spot and showed it to Uncle Goat. Later, Uncle Goat gently pulled out the decayed tooth, and the rabbit was very happy!
More than a month later, the dog, the pig and the rabbit carefully sewed a banner, which read "Rejuvenation with Wonderful Hands". Uncle goat was very excited after seeing it.
Fairy tale 3 The little dog is going to build a new house, and everyone is coming to help. The pony brought a lot of wood with bad luck. Kittens and rabbits saw the wood into boards with saws, and everyone began to work "tinkling". A beautiful little house was built in a few days.
Seeing that everyone was sweating profusely, Little Flower Dog said gratefully, "Thank you, friends. When I tidy up my house, I will definitely invite you to be my guest. "
The little dog decorated its new home with light blue wallpaper on the wall, pink curtains on the window and floral carpets on the floor. It's so sweet that the puppy is intoxicated by himself.
After a while, everyone wanted to visit Little Flower Dog's new house. Little Flower Dog quickly said, "No, no, it's windy and rainy these days, and you will make my house dirty." "Everyone heard, so we have to be disappointed.
After a few days, the weather was fine, and everyone wanted to go to Little Flower Dog's house again. But when they came to the front of Little Flower Dog's house, they saw Little Flower Dog holding a small basin and said, "Let's wash our feet before entering the house, or it will stain my new carpet."
Friends saw the puppy do this to them and left angrily. From then on, everyone will never go to the new home of Xiaohua Dog again. The friends have fun every day, but the puppy can only be accompanied by a new house. So the puppy cried sadly.
Fairy tale 4 mother squirrel cooks at home. Mother said to the little squirrel, "I'll go out and find some pine cones, and I won't be back for three hours." How lonely the little squirrel was after his mother left! He decided to play with his friends. When he left, he forgot to turn off the fire.
When the little squirrel came back, he found that his house was on fire. He hurried out. He met a little white rabbit on the road. The little white rabbit asked, "Why did you come here in such a hurry?" The little squirrel quickly replied, "My house is on fire! Help my family. " After hearing this, the white rabbit immediately drove a car 1 19 to the scene. The little squirrel hurriedly called four friends for help. The rabbit came first, then the monkey and the dog, and the panda came last. With the help of Qi Xin, everyone finally put out the fire in the squirrel's house. Squirrel, thank you very much for your help.
Comments: "How lonely the little squirrel is!" I decided to play with my friends because I was lonely, so that I forgot to turn off the fire. People couldn't bear to blame the little squirrel. "Help my family" is what the child said. I also know that fire is related to 1 19, hehe! The white rabbit "rushing ahead" is really brave and fearless. Secondly, the "last" is clear, and the "cooperation of Qi and Xin" and "thanks for a thousand times" enrich the language of the article and are very vivid.
Fairy Tale 5 Once upon a time, there was a little cat man who basked in the sun on the lawn all day.
It was a sunny day, and Xiaohua Mall was lying on the lawn, squinting and enjoying the sunshine. He has to cheer up and go out to catch mice at night!
At this moment, a little dog came to Xiaohua Mall. When the dog saw that Xiaohua Mall had a beard, he smiled: "What a bad boy to grow a beard at such a young age!"
Xiaohua Mall ignored the puppy.
In the evening, when Xiaohua Mall chased the mouse, the mouse hiding in the mouse hole kept shouting, "Do bad children deserve to catch us?"
Xiaohua Mall was very angry when he heard this. Is it really a bad boy to grow a beard? So it found scissors, "click, click" a few times and cut off the long beard.
In the evening, he went out to catch mice as usual, but after cutting off his beard, Xiaohua Mall couldn't catch any mice at night. It turns out that whenever Xiaohua Mall is ready to catch mice in the middle of the night, he always stumbles and makes a loud noise. As soon as the mouse heard the sound, it ran away without a trace.
Xiaohua Mall was very angry and stared at the ceiling. Why is this? No matter what I think, I can't get the answer.
So Xiaohua Mall went to ask Teacher Cat.
Teacher Cat told him that the problem was the beard he cut off.
Cats walk in the dark by their eyes and beards. A cat's beard is as long as its body. Beards can play a great role when cats catch mice at night. In a narrow place, you can use your beard to explore the road, so as not to touch the wall and make a noise. If you encounter a mouse hole, the cat can use the beard to detect the size of the hole: if the beard does not touch the edge of the hole, the cat can go into the hole to catch the mouse; If the beard touches the edge of the hole, the cat can't get into the hole and can only stay at the hole.
Without a "detector" with a beard, Xiaohua Mall would surely hit a wall everywhere.
Fairy tale 6 wakes up in spring and the weather gets warmer. Spring is a girl who loves painting. Of course, she will bring a brush and a paint box when she is on duty. Drawing is a happy thing for girls in spring.
The girl's favorite color in spring is green. She took the color palette in her hand and brushed it gently on the grass. Look, the grass is green, so big! The brush stopped on the branch again and the branch sprouted. The brush pointed to the distant mountain, and the mountain turned green.
In spring, girls also like pink, so the brush dyed apricot flowers and peach blossoms pink. Look, the pink smiling face of peach blossom and apricot blossom, and the pink cherry blossom is smiling at the spring girl.
In spring, the girl painted the winter jasmine yellow again, and the delicate yellow flowers bloomed in the spring breeze, not to mention how eye-catching. However, the winter jasmine soon withered, and Miss Chun hasn't seen enough! She put the brush in the field again, and the rape blossoms opened, and large tracts of golden yellow turned into spectacular flowers.
Pears like plain white, and the girls make it as white as spring snow. Just after winter, people still miss the snow, so they found the shadow of snow in the pear garden. What trees are all white, not snow?
In spring, the girl is still painting. Her cat came and accidentally knocked over the paint box. What a disaster! Those purple, yellow, green, red, blue and pink are scattered everywhere.
The cat ran away, and Miss Chun was in tears. She kept crying, and the spring rain kept falling, continuous and thin, like an ink painting.
The girl in spring smiled at the ink painting. When she smiled, all kinds of pigments bloomed. So, in spring, you can see colorful flowers and blooming flowers.
Fairy tale 7 talking bread
The little mouse was ill, and his mother Tiny bought him a big bag of bread. Baby mouse is very happy.
When my mother was preparing to go out at work, she told Beibei to stay at home honestly, and Beibei readily agreed.
Seeing that her mother had left, Beibei took out a big piece of bread and began to eat. It just took a bite. "You haven't brushed your teeth yet." A voice suddenly appeared in the room, and Beibei looked around in surprise. However, it is strange that there is only herself in the room. Beibei took another bite of bread. "Hurry up and brush your teeth." There's another voice. Who's talking? Beibei took another bite of bread. "It's really unsanitary." There is another voice in the room. Beibei knew that the sound was made by the bread in her hand. It turns out that bread can talk. Beibei brushed her teeth in surprise.
Beibei continues to eat bread. "You are a good boy who talks about hygiene." Bread praised Beibei. Every time Beibei takes a bite, the bread is full of praise. Beibei excitedly took out another bread. Beibei took a bite. "Don't be greedy." The bread in his hand spoke. Beibei felt full, but she was greedy for delicious bread and took another bite. "You are a disobedient bad boy." When Beibei heard the bread, she couldn't eat any more, so she put it back in the bag.
The room was quiet and Beibei felt very lonely. She wants someone to talk to her. Beibei took out a little bread from the bag. "I was suffocated in the bag," Bread said proudly, and Beibei chatted happily with Bread.
Fairy Tale 8 One day, the mother of an Xi rabbit was ill and had a high fever. The doctor gave mother Ashley an injection. Mother's fever has gone down, but it tastes terrible. Axi rabbit cooked porridge for her mother, and Axi rabbit fried fruit soup for her mother, but her mother still didn't want to eat it.
ASHI Rabbit racked his brains but couldn't figure it out, so he asked the hedgehog girl for help, thinking and thinking! Asitu finally saw the phone on the desk and said excitedly, "Yes, the phone." The hedgehog girl said, "Do you cook the phone for your mother?" Hedgehog girl doesn't understand why Ashi Rabbit is so excited. "No, the phone can tell my mother what she likes to eat." A Xi rabbit called grandma and asked her what she liked to eat. Grandma told Axi Rabbit that her mother likes to drink delicious soup, and told her how to make delicious soup. An Xi rabbit listened carefully sentence by sentence. She asked the hedgehog girl to help, sliced carrots, mushrooms and onions, and made a bowl of fragrant and thick soup.
Ashley, the mother rabbit, woke up from her sleep. She smelled a fragrance and felt very familiar with it. "Mom, please have some soup," said the rabbit. She brought a bowl of soup to her mother. While drinking, her mother said, "This soup is something I haven't drunk for many years. Hey, how did you make this soup? " This is grandma's best soup! The hedgehog girl smiled and said, "Mother Ashley Rabbit, is this the secret for you to guess?" "
Fairy Tale 9 Happy Competition in the Garden
Many vegetables grow in the vegetable garden. On weekdays, when you are free, you will organize some competitions to enrich your spare time.
Longxiang [jiāng] beans and celery go to find pepper to jump rope.
Long cowpea and celery are thin and tall, surrounded by ropes. Pepper is small, the faster you jump, the happier you are. The pumpkin referee had to give the cowpea and celery 0 points.
Long cowpea and celery get lost when they go home.
The next day, cowpea and celery went to play volleyball.
Gourd and towel gourd are tall, strong and hairy. The ball they played was very heavy, and the cowpea fell to the ground, and the celery bent down. Peaches and apricots are fruits. They come to watch the fun.
Long cowpea and celery dragged their tired bodies home.
On the third day, cowpea and celery went wrestling.
Wax gourd, pumpkin, big fat man, grab it gently and lift long cowpea and celery. All the friends watching the scene of bustle cried.
On the fourth day, cowpea and celery competed with cabbage and tomato.
Cabbage and tomatoes rolled and ran, and soon they reached the hillside. Long cowpea and celery stumbled and chased after each other desperately.
On the fifth day, cowpea and celery went to participate in gymnastics competition.
Cowpea turned round and round on the horizontal bar, and celery walked fast and steadily on the balance beam.
The cowpea and celery finally found their own sports, and the audience friends sent flowers and applause!
Fairy Tales 10 Once upon a time, there was a happy Garfield. It's very cute. There are brown stripes and round heads. There are also pointed ears, a three-valve mouth like a rabbit, a fat body and strong limbs.
One day, Garfield woke up and looked out of the window. It's all white outside, the trees are wrapped in silver, and the house and the ground seem to be covered with a white blanket. Garfield is very happy. He went outside and began to make a snowman.
First, he took a handful of snow and rolled it on the ground. It became a big snowball. He took a big snowball as the snowman's body, then he took a handful of snow and did it again in the same way. He used a small snowball as the snowman's head, and pebbles, carrots, brooms and buckets to make snowman's eyes, buttons, hats and brooms respectively. Made by a snowman!
The sun came out and Garfield was in a hurry. He hurried home and asked his mother, "Mom, where did you put the sun umbrella?" Mom said, "I don't know." Garfield ran to his mother's room, opened the drawer and found it on the balcony. He quickly spread the sun umbrella beside the snowman.
Garfield saw others wearing sunglasses again and asked his father, "Dad, where are the sunglasses?" Garfield, find it. Finally found it in the cupboard in dad's room. Help the snowman put it on.
Now the sun can't help it
Fairy Tales 1 1 Every autumn, H University has an uncle who sells chestnuts.
Uncle is very ... How can I put it? Cute? Yeah, it's cute. His eyes are bright, and when someone buys chestnuts, he smiles into a crack, and his two moustaches shake, which is particularly cute. He always wears a plush hat with two ears and brown suspenders. Although he is fat, he is flexible.
In fact, many other people also sell chestnuts in H, but DOG only likes to eat chestnuts sold by this uncle. Because the chestnuts he sells are better to eat and peel than others. But it's a pity that uncle only comes in autumn, so DOG can only eat delicious chestnuts in autumn.
And this fall, uncle than every year? We'll talk about it later. Momo sighs every time he passes the intersection where his uncle often stays. She has a craving for chestnuts.
Today, Momo crossed the intersection again. I thought my uncle wouldn't come today. Unexpectedly, I saw the plush hat that my uncle often wears from a distance. DOG was so happy that he ran to see Uncle Chestnut really coming.
DOG happily bought a lot of chestnuts at once.
"Uncle, why did you come so late this year?" DOG roasted chestnuts asked.
"Because ... um ..." Uncle scratched his head and replied vaguely, "Because something happened at home ..."
DOG chewed chestnuts in his mouth and nodded. "Oh."
? The next day, the chestnuts were gone. DOG went to buy chestnuts again, but his uncle was away. DOG sighed, and it seems that he can't eat any more today.
DOG was about to turn around when he saw uncle carrying a basket of chestnuts? Slowly came along.
"Uncle came late today." DOG laughed.
"Yes," uncle laughed, "buy more chestnuts today, and I won't come tomorrow."
"What's the matter, uncle?" DOG asked, "Haven't things been solved at home?"
"Yes, I may not be able to come these days."
DOG scoffed. She wants to help her uncle. So when uncle left, DOG followed him quietly.
Uncle walks fast with an empty chestnut basket? Soon we arrived at the back wall of the school.
Outside the back wall of the school is a small forest. There are always many annoying bugs in the forest, so few people will go there. Why did uncle come here?
DOG watched his uncle climb the wall flexibly and suddenly jumped down. ? DOG took a deep breath. Although the wall is not high, there is a thorny bush under it. It is inevitable to jump directly and get hurt.
She was a little worried about her uncle, so she climbed up the wall quickly? . But seeing the scene outside the wall, DOG suddenly stood there? .
I saw a squirrel mending a broken squirrel's nest. Its big furry tail is dangling. The squirrel turned around and found someone squatting on the wall? I was so scared that I hid in the chestnut basket.
"Uncle, is that you ...? "? DOG asked.
Squirrel sticks its head out, finds it is DOG, and jumps out of the basket to pat the dust on its body.
"A basket of chestnuts, stop it." ? The squirrel shook its little beard.
DOG smiled? "Two baskets, I'll help you repair the squirrel's nest."
"... deal! "
On the day of fairy tale 12, the bear called the little monkey out to play. The bear said to the little monkey, "I know a good place, which is very interesting and has many good friends."
The little monkey said, "Really? Great! I just want to go out and play! "
The bear took the little monkey to a fun place with many companions.
And the scenery is picturesque, the river is clear and transparent, and it is really beautiful.
The little monkey saw this beautiful and interesting place. I am so relieved.
The little monkey said, "hello, my name is little monkey." What are your names? "
Small animals introduce themselves noisily.
They played hide-and-seek there, caught small fish, picked fruits and threw stones. solve riddles on the lanterns had a good time.
When they were walking, they saw a small pavilion, so they ran to have a rest in it. When the little monkey sees the pillars on the pavilion, his clever mind is always ready. Ah, by the way, the little monkey climbed up the post, followed the Monkey King's example, and wrote Sun Xiaosheng's visit on the post.
Bear and other small animals said, "no, no, come down quickly!" " "The little monkey finished writing these words and came down.
The little animals saw that the sun was going down and they all went home.
On the way, the bear said to the little monkey, "If everyone doodles on the pillars, will the pavilion be beautiful?"
The little monkey bowed his head shyly when he heard this.
The little monkey is very regretful. Seeing that the bear had gone, the little monkey ran to the pavilion and erased the written words.
Fairy tale 13 silver bird there is a big tree, a wolfberry tree. Its fruit is bright red, as big as a strawberry and as round as a cherry. Under the sunshine, it is like a branch covered with rubies, which often attracts people to look under the tree and attract birds to peck.
Every day, a flock of birds fly in, all silver like pigeons, long tails like swallows, birds as big as sparrows, red necks and sharp mouths, singing like reeds, crisp and loud.
Silver birds fly around, stop on the twigs of holly, jump around the fiery red fresh fruit, up and down, singing and dancing as if singing and dancing in praise. The silverbird stays in the tree for a long time, sometimes crawling on the branches and swinging, sometimes hiding among the green leaves, sometimes jumping and pecking at the light spots among the leaves, or combing its feathers in the sun.
Sunshine, breeze, green leaves and red fruits blend into the joyful song and dance of the Silver Bird, and the world is full of warm breath (xρn).
With a whoosh, a bullet shot at the top of the tree, and with a whoosh, the birds in the tree flew away. Although the bullet is plastic, it is fatal to birds. There was no sound at all when the tree broke.
The sky is still so blue, the sun is shining, and the red fruit on the tree is shining, but the moment when the soul is lost makes the bird tremble, and the bird resolutely flies away and never comes back.
The breeze blew, the leaves of Holly shook sadly, and the red fresh fruit fell to the ground like tears. The bird with a red neck and a pointed mouth and a silver mouth will only appear in my mind.
Fairy Tales 14 On a sunny noon, my room was quiet, but the quarrel of punctuation broke the silence.
The comma jumped out of the book and hung upside down on the desk lamp. It said loudly, "It's no use looking at you. Without me, it is difficult for a teacher to finish a composition or a natural paragraph in one breath! "
The period rolled out like a wheel and said, "Hum! Your role is just to break sentences. Look at me. Without me, when will an article end? My role is the biggest. "
The question mark walked slowly to the desk on crutches and said, "Hello! What are you young people talking about? If it weren't for me, would there be any questions? If there is no doubt, will you find something? If there is no discovery, will there be an invention? No! " Say that finish slowly walked to the audience.
The exclamation point straightened up, jumped up and said, "What are you, without me, can people express their admiration for the beautiful scenery?" Don't! "
Then, other punctuation marks have their own advantages.
At this time, the dictionary father-in-law said, "each of you has your own advantages, and you can't compare your own advantages with others' shortcomings." "You are indispensable, but you must unite and cooperate to play the greatest role!"
Fairy Tales 15 Little White Rabbit's Straw Hat
Mother rabbit asked the little white rabbit to pick mushrooms in the forest. The little white rabbit was so happy that he put on his beloved straw hat and went out.
The little white rabbit came to the forest. Autumn sunshine is warm, birds are chirping in the trees, and little squirrels are playing with dead leaves. In autumn, the forest is full of treasures, mushrooms are like umbrellas, like shy little girls, hidden in dense grass.
The little white rabbit saw it and ran to pick those mushrooms. His pockets are full, but there are many mushrooms, so he wants to put them in the basket. But the little white rabbit found that it didn't bring a basket: alas, I didn't bring a basket. The white rabbit screamed, you can put it in a straw hat. Looking back, the white rabbit turned out to be a good friend's puppy. The little white rabbit knocked on his forehead and said, yes, I didn't expect this. You are so clever. The white rabbit took off his straw hat and put the remaining mushrooms in the basket one by one. After picking the mushrooms, the basket is full, and the little white rabbit walks home with the basket.
Mother rabbit smiled knowingly when she saw the mushrooms in the basket of the little white rabbit.
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