Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - History of Italy before and after World War II (such as time, battles, some events before or after the war)
History of Italy before and after World War II (such as time, battles, some events before or after the war)
In 1933, the Nazis came to power in Germany. Hitler believed that Italy and Mussolini were role models for Nazi Germany and highly praised them. After all, Italy was also an "imperialist country" with a similar purpose. The political party gaining power in such a country is an encouragement to fascism as a whole (Hitler and Mussolini also made a lot of jokes here). In 1935, the Spanish Civil War broke out and Italy invaded Ethiopia. In both wars, the performance of the Italian army was not very good. The Spanish Civil War was slightly better. At least there was help from the German intervention forces, so there was no big embarrassment. The invasion of Ethiopia was more ugly. It was just a little bit like the Ethiopian War from 1887 to 1896. If it weren't for the appeasement policy of Britain and France and the insufficient pressure on Italy, it would be difficult to imagine Italy being able to fight... In short, the war At present, Italy's diplomacy is internally troubled, and the situation is far less good than that of Germany and Japan (after all, they are militarily strong, and their diplomatic adventures are relatively successful, but Italy is a continental European country, and its army level is even problematic for bullying the native Africans. It is simply funny. ...).
When Italy dealt with its World War II strategy, it always wanted to be in line with Germany and Japan and wanted to appear very important. In fact, he was one of the culprits dragging down the entire axis camp. Look at where Italy is located in Greece, the Balkans, and North Africa, and where there are other European Axis forces to fill the gap. The most direct result is the dispersion of military strength. For Italy's most important ally Germany, in order to help Italy's ambitions in the Balkans, the most significant mistake was the invasion of Yugoslavia and Greece, which directly dispersed the already valuable armored forces. and motorized troops, and led to the delay of the invasion of the Soviet Union. In other words, it was a waste of assault force in the main offensive direction, and artificially "advanced" the arrival of winter in time. All of this was due to the weak and incompetent Italian army. Originally, the invasion of the Balkans by 500,000 Italian troops had a better chance of winning. Even if it did not go smoothly, it would not be defeated so quickly. Italy is a typical toad yawning - big mouth and small belly...
For Italy, the wiser strategy in World War II was to take a defensive position in North Africa to delay and attack the British H Fleet and the Mediterranean Division. The fleet tried its best to cut off the connection between Egypt-Suez Canal and the British mainland in the Mediterranean. In terms of Italy's strength, it is more realistic to do this. Italy's boots penetrate deep into the Mediterranean, and the two islands of Sardinia and Sicily guard the key points of the Mediterranean. If the combat thinking of the Italian Air Force and Navy could keep up with the level of World War II, the British Navy would have a very difficult time in the Mediterranean. It is a pity that Italy, with one of the top navies in the world at the time and such a good geographical advantage, was unable to fight against a British squadron... In fact, the performance of Italian Air Force fighter jets is very good, and the MC.200 series is on par with The ME109 belongs to the same level, but the funny thing is that the aircraft with advanced performance is not equipped with a radio... What else can the Italian Air Force be expected to do? As for the land battlefield, it is not within the scope of Italy's expertise. It should have organized some relatively elite troops to be at the forefront with other Axis forces, and shrunk a large number of second-rate troops at the time to assist the German army in dealing with the guerrillas (Italian Army No matter how bad the equipment is, it is still better than the guerrilla pair). Imagine that nearly one million Italian troops serve as the main force, and cooperate with a small number of German troops to deal with the guerrillas. If commanded properly, the activities of the guerrillas will still be quite curbed. I only talk about containment here, not elimination, because for any one As far as the country is concerned, it is impossible for the guerrillas to be completely eliminated. Just control their activities within the allowed range and do not fantasize about eliminating them.
Italy's greatest contribution to Germany actually appeared after he defected to the Allies... It's quite funny---A large number of Italian war material reserves were looted by the German army, causing German military production to reach the peak during World War II in 1943.
Italy is really funny. . I saw a post before.
As for Italy during World War II, it was actually mainly responsible for making fun of it. . .
First, about eating
1*Is there any way to eat delicious food on the battlefield? Under this belief, when other countries were busy developing new weapons, Italy invented the freeze-drying method of preserving food because it wanted to eat delicious military food... which shocked the United Nations.
2* Because they were hungry on the battlefield 10 kilometers away from the supply station, the whole army cooked pasta and ate it, and then the whole army was easily captured by the enemy...
3* Lunch time battle meeting Stop, after eating PASTA, you will hide behind the battle lines in despair...
4* Italy’s military uniforms are gentleman’s uniforms, and 30 million tons of black tea have been purchased from all over the world. The packaging of a famous Italian red wine has the slogan "When you are drunk, you will not be afraid of fighting." Among the supplies captured by the enemy, there was more red wine than ammunition
5* Prisoners captured in Italy were able to eat luxury meals every day... A British pilot was captured by Italy and put into a prisoner concentration camp . That night he was given his own supper in prison. It was an unnaturally luxurious meal with everything from the appetizers to the macaroni and meat, and even the fruit and red wine at the end.
"Is this the so-called Last Supper..."
The next morning, a high-ranking general appeared in front of him: "Yesterday we made a small mistake. It was a small mistake. I served your Excellency, who is a general, the dinner of an ordinary soldier. This was definitely not intentional abuse of the prisoners. Can you forgive the guard who made the mistake for my sake?”
6* The Italian prisoners in a prison camp escaped. Because there was no PASTA to eat, they ran to another prison camp that had PASTA. Later, the previous prison camp promised them that they would provide PASTA, so they went back...
7*The German army received Italy's rescue request in the desert and sent a squadron of troops to rescue. When they met Italy, they found that the other party was using precious water to cook macaroni...
Second, regarding combat effectiveness:
1* Because the national consciousness is too weak, there are few people. Destroyers and submarines are more active than battleships.
2* Cannons and machine guns cannot defeat the indigenous people who use bows and arrows. Only Italy can defeat wooden ships with steel ships.
3* When facing the Italian army, the enemy's morale will rise; the Italian front will be broken through; generals who defeat Italy twice in a row will be laughed at.
4* Prepare to release poison gas when they are about to lose to Ethiopia... The story of a sneak attack on France before surrender was beaten back is also a household name...
5* The US military landed in Italy and confronted Italy. At that time, the US military felt that the Italians had no will to fight, so they deliberately weakened the intensity of the attack. Once a German reconnaissance plane flew over the battlefield for reconnaissance. The Italian commander thought that he was too embarrassed and ordered an attack pretending to be in combat. The US military also counterattacked without motivation. This battle was discovered by a German reconnaissance plane, and he said with emotion: "Awesome! The Italians stopped the US military offensive!" (Oh God)
After that, German reinforcements arrived and a real fierce battle began. .
6* There was a saying in Italy at night that "if we are asleep, the other party must also be asleep, so we will not be attacked." In the end, we were surprised by the British army.
7* Losing two battles in a row is a code for "it's so boring to fight, let's go back and pick up girls".
8* The submarine named after the great scientist "Galileo" failed in a duel with an armed British fishing boat and was captured by the other party. At the beginning, the "Galileo" launched an attack on the opponent, but was hit continuously by fishing boats (note: it was a fishing boat!) that were not even equipped with illuminated sights. Finally, it surrendered because the captain was injured.
9*On June 30, 1940, Marshal Balbo, the Italian Governor in Libya, was shot down by Italian anti-aircraft artillery over Tobruk. In order to cover up this problem, the Italians announced that the marshal was killed in an air battle with the British.
He accidentally shot his own marshal with an anti-aircraft gun, making him the highest-ranking World War II soldier accidentally injured...
10* When the Allied forces landed in Italy in 1943, there was a battlefield. The Allies fought fiercely all morning without any casualties. The only loss was that his plane dropped the airborne troops into the sea (using the sandbar as a beachhead).
11* When Italy attacked Greece during World War II, the Italian soldiers unanimously said that we could not attack because there were Finnish troops in Greece (Finnish soldiers beat the Soviets very badly during the Soviet-Finnish Winter War) . Mussolini then asked Finland to withdraw its troops from Greece. After investigation, Finland found that there were only three Finnish soldiers and three officers serving as volunteers in Greece, so it replied to Mussolini that the so-called troops only had six volunteers. Mussolini Very angry, he sent a telegram to Finland: I am referring to these people!
12* During the Sala landing battle, the Allied forces encountered no resistance on the beach. Reporters accompanying the army reported that the Allied forces encountered resistance on the beach. The strongest resistance came from a jaguar that had been strayed from a local zoo due to bombing and bit two US soldiers.
During the 13* Siege of Luke, Rommel inspected the position early in the morning and found that the defense zone of an elite Italian musketeer battalion was empty except for chicken feathers.
14* When Italy was attacked by Greece, the French erected a road sign on the Italian-French border: Greeks, stop, this is already France.
15* When Rommel visited the Italian trenches on the North African Front, he was bombarded by Allied forces. The Italians immediately fell to the ground, praying "Oh, Lady Maria!"
Rommel said this to the Italian commander: "Let them stop praying and start fighting back. What I want to say That’s all.”
Third, regarding surrender:
1* In a battle in North Africa, a small number of British tanks charged towards Italian anti-tank gun positions. At the beginning, Italy fired back, but after two or three minutes, it suddenly stopped and waved the white flag to surrender... Afterwards, the British asked the reason, and the Italians answered confidently: There was no crowbar to open the ammunition box...
2* The US military bombed the two small islands in front of Sardinia, where more than 10,000 Italians were stationed. However, in the end, the Allied bombing of the General *** killed more than 40 Italians, and Italy accepted the US pilots' persuasion to surrender.
The 3*5,000-strong Italian army disarmed on the spot after encountering a roadblock set up by a company of British troops.
4* In Yugoslavia, a German officer captured by the guerrillas asked in surprise: "Where did you get the anti-tank gun?" When the guerrillas told him that it was from their allies-- After capturing the Italians, he sighed with emotion: "Oh! These lovely Italians.
5* When Churchill called to ask the British commander Auchinleck how many Italians had been captured, Auchinleck was very proud. Said: "There are countless officers, about 5 acres of land, and 200 acres of land for soldiers. ”
6* In the North African battlefield, the British army led 25 people to fight 10,000 Italian troops in World War I and captured more than 8,000 people.
7* In the Battle of Sicily, the U.S. Army Dropping "cannonball leaflets", the leaflets said that these leaflets could be used as "certificates of surrender" and you could go to the rear of the Allied forces to receive food and gain safety.
The next morning, one day. A group of Italians ran over, each holding leaflets in their hands, and some asked uneasily: "Is this a certificate of surrender? "After receiving a positive answer, they all happily handed over their weapons. On the third and fourth days... dozens of people came in groups at first, and then hundreds of people came over with leaflets. Once After two Italian soldiers surrendered with leaflets, they told the US military that there were more than 60 people in their company who wanted to surrender but did not dare to come because they did not have a "surrender certificate" in their hands. Therefore, the US military immediately sent people with "surrender certificates" Bring all these people here. Another time, an Italian soldier came over and asked for a leaflet so that his brother could come and surrender.
8*North Africa, British Army Accept the surrender of a group of gun-toting Italian soldiers.
The British troops were too busy collecting trophies to manage the Italian prisoners, so they yelled at them: "Stop making noise! ??Get over there!" and then continued to collect trophies everywhere. With no other choice, the prisoners had no choice but to walk around with their guns on their heads in order to find the British soldiers. Also, because there were too many prisoners of war, the British army had no time to build prisoner of war camps. They just asked the quartermaster to give the Italian prisoners of war raw materials and let them build their own prisoner of war camps to lock themselves up.
9* At the end of World War II, prisoners from Germany, Italy and Japan were held in concentration camps in Austria. The Germans organized themselves to try to dig holes to escape from the camps, the Japanese organized themselves to commit suicide by caesarean section, and the Italians stayed very cooperative even when the gates of the concentration camps were not closed, and occasionally went out to harass cute girls.
Fourth, about the Allies:
1*When the Allied forces invaded Italy in 1943, they faced the German army...
2*Only joined the Axis The Axis Powers cried and apologized to them.
3* The worst thing should be Germany... Still in North Africa, Rommel discovered a British prisoner of war camp where Italian prisoners of war were held, and he came to the rescue out of comradeship. As a result, as soon as the gunfire rang out, The Italians followed the British...
4* An Italian reorganized division was surrounded by 287 Americans. Germany dispatched 3 tanks for rescue and defeated the intruding Americans. But with the perfect cooperation of Italian infantry and tanks, the US military lost 274 people...
5* The Germans’ definition of ideal war is: use German weapons, the Soviet Union provides winter equipment, and the United Kingdom provides summer equipment The Americans provided food, the French provided entertainment, the Finns covered the flanks, and the enemy in front of them was the Italians.
6*I didn’t realize that Italy had many allies participating in the war.
7* Perhaps Italy's greatest contribution to Germany was after it defected to the Allies - Italian equipment was looted by Germany, which caused Germany's military production to reach its peak that year.
8* Western proverb: "Italians on our side" - a famous quote from World War II. During World War II, Italy was one of the Axis powers, but it always lost battles and was held back. On the North African battlefield, Italian troops failed more than they accomplished. Later, the U.S. military just participated in the war in North Africa and suffered many defeats. At that time, the British jokingly called the U.S. military: "Our Italians." Later this proverb spread in the West.
9* In "Liberation", Mussolini said to Hitler: "You don't understand the Italians, they don't like to fight." Hitler once said: "The only leader in Italy is the ancient Romans." Someone once said that "Italy is a country supported by 10 serious citizens."
10* In order to obtain funds for foreign trade, Italy will sell advanced equipment that its own air force is not even equipped to foreign countries and even enemy countries...
Fifth: About the campaign
1* Let’s talk about the Eight-Nation Allied Forces related to China first. Italy was also involved, but how miserable was the Italian children's shoes? He once planned to imitate Germany and send troops to China to seize the sphere of influence. As a result, two modern steel warships were destroyed by the weak navy rebuilt by the Qing Dynasty after the Sino-Japanese War (Wood) before they could dock. The ship) was "shocked" and ran away... The army only sent 80 people-most of them were not combat troops. Rather than invading, I prefer to believe that they are just joining in the fun.
2*1922-1935, Ethiopia (North African battlefield)
In fact, Africa really did not seem to be the main battlefield during World War II, but Italian students took the initiative to attack North Africa (an additional sentence As an aside, Italian children's shoes once attacked North Africa in the 19th century and failed miserably. At that time, German Prime Minister Bismarck once mocked the Italians for "coming to the African continent with a mouth full of cavities and a great appetite."). Italy invested tanks and aircraft, but it suffered miserably from the beginning of the war. Facing the pursuing Egyptian army, poison gas played a savior role. From then on, the poison gas spread throughout Ethiopia following the footsteps of the Italian army. This can be regarded as one of the few successful things Italy has done.
By the way, the Ethiopian army at that time was only equipped with small firearms, old muskets, and even troops who only used long guns.
3*Spain in March 1937
Four Italian divisions marching from Guldalajara to Madrid were attacked by the enemy. Due to the large number of surrenders in Italy, they were finally Gurdharahara was defeated.
4*Britain-France in June 1940
The reason why Italy declared war on Britain and France was simply out of jealousy of Germany’s achievements (Germany back then, I don’t know what to say) alright). Since the declaration of war was unplanned and without the necessary material preparations, Italian ships were still scattered in all corners of the world and were captured by hostile countries immediately after the war started. Because no combat plan was considered, no military action was taken within 10 days of the declaration of war. Although they subsequently attacked French territory, they were counterattacked by only two divisions and fled back to the country.
5*In June 1940, when Hitler attacked France, Italy took advantage of France being ravaged by the German army to the point of almost surrendering and joined in the fun. As a result, many territories were occupied by France.
6* During the invasion of Greece in October 1940, Italy’s 21 divisions’ “million-strong army” was counterattacked by 13 Greek divisions to the Albanian border, and was about to cross the Adriatic Sea to attack the Italian mainland… ...The most embarrassing thing is - before this, the Greek government remained neutral because of its good relations with Germany... (Italy, it was just a matter of time to fight...) After this war, Greece went to the Allied camp. (Deep sympathy for Germany.)
7*October 1940 Britain
The old twin-bladed fighter jets of the British Navy attacked the Italian fleet in the Bay of Taranto. As a result, the Italian fleet was One battleship sank and two battleships were moderately damaged. The British army suffered no losses at all.
8*December 1940 Egypt-Britain
The seven Italian divisions attacking Egypt were defeated by the counterattack of two British divisions. 130,000 people were captured and Lost Killenka. In order to rescue Italy, Germany had to postpone the "Barbarossa Plan" for a month, dispatched troops for rescue, and used about 7,000 unplanned trucks (the Eastern Front had only invested 14,000 trucks). This had a considerable impact on the war situation on the Eastern Front.
What is particularly worth mentioning is that the British army destroyed the Italian army with more than 400 tanks with less than 30 tanks. When 30,000 British soldiers faced 400,000 Italian soldiers, the British army Captured "officers with about five acres of land and soldiers with 200 acres of land"...
9*Britain in March 1941
The Italian and British fleets fought in the Matada Strait, Italy Three heavy cruisers were lost, and the British suffered no losses.
10*1942 Britain
Italian troops of 250,000 fought against 35,000 British troops and surrendered soon after.
11*December 1942 Soviet Union
Italy was attacked by the Soviet army on the Don River and immediately abandoned all equipment and retreated. The Romanian army, which suffered the same attack in November and was poorly equipped, persisted in fighting for several days.
Moreover, in October, the Romanian Army proposed taking the initiative to take advantage of the lull in the Soviet offensive, but it was ultimately not implemented due to supply problems. The Italian army has never made such a constructive proposal.
- Related articles
- Is it polite for a son-in-law to call his father-in-law in front of outsiders?
- Recommend romance novels! ~~~~~~~~~~~
- Excuse me, where are the books of the legendary Four Emperors Tang?
- Are there any African countries participating in the Winter Olympics?
- How about a girl with a humorous personality?
- The wind of public opinion has changed. Wang Sicong can have an affair, but he must not have an affair?
- Dreaming of catching fish and shrimp in the water
- Tsinghua and distinguished professor of Peking University invented ugly books and growling books. Why are Spring Festival couplets so ugly that you can't understand them?
- Feng shui problem of courtyard trees?
- What was the end of the conversation?