Searching for the meaning of life

“He who knows why he lives can survive.”——Nietzsche

Four months ago, a good friend of mine was diagnosed with severe depression. On his way home from the hospital, he, who never talks much, kept asking me: "Yixian, what do you think is the meaning of human life? Birth, old age, illness and death, knowing that you can't escape the laws of nature, knowing that no matter how hard you work, the end will be there. Then why are we still living so hard?" I replied without thinking: "Life may be meaningless, but it becomes meaningful only because we work hard to experience and create. If you ask me what the meaning of a piece of white paper is, I think no one can answer it. But if you write a poem, draw a painting or compose a piece of music on it, the meaning of the paper will be It goes without saying." The friend was thoughtful and said nothing.

Afterwards, I fell into deep thought for a long time. I have never dared to think deeply about such a big and deceptive question as "the meaning of life", because once I fail to understand it, I will most likely fall into despair. Entering the whirlpool of thinking, falling into a state of nothingness. Despite this, this question still took root in my mind and echoed in my ears from time to time.

1. Why should we pursue the meaning of life?

"He who knows why he lives can survive." This sentence is the most quoted sentence by the famous psychologist Frankl in his book "The Meaning of Life". During World War II, Frankl's family was imprisoned in Auschwitz by the Nazis, and his parents, wife, and brother all died in the gas chambers. But he himself relied on his strong will to survive in the concentration camp where the survival rate was less than one in twenty-eighth. After being rescued, Frankl used his professional perspective and experience in the concentration camp to write the book "Living the Meaning of Life", which deeply discussed the profound and difficult proposition of "the meaning of life." He mentioned in the book that not all the prisoners who died in the concentration camps died at the hands of the Nazis. Many of them chose to give up their lives before being sent to the incinerator or gas chamber. For these prisoners, it was impossible to see The hopeless and tortured life in the concentration camp made them completely lose their motivation for life. They did not know the purpose of their existence, and of course they did not know "how" to continue living. After three years in the concentration camp, Frankl discovered that human beings' pursuit of the meaning of life is the main motivation for their lives. If we just keep emphasizing the need to live a good life without knowing why we should live a good life and the meaning of life, we will not be able to truly obtain the result of "a good life". People must have a reason for everything they do. Once you find it, With that reason, actions can keep up with the set direction. Just like if we want someone to laugh, we need to give him a reason to laugh, such as telling a joke. If you just urge him to laugh, or let him urge himself to laugh, then he will never really laugh anyway. Even if he shows the appearance of smiling, it will only be a rigid smile. Only those who know "why" can have the continuous motivation to explore "how" and have more profound power to achieve goals. Only those who know the meaning of life can have a more profound and lasting motivation for life.

However, judging from the hotly discussed topics such as "midlife crisis" and "Buddhist youth", it seems that the "life motivation" has long been exhausted for us modern people. .

No doubt, with the rapid development and specialization of society, our life pressure is becoming increasingly serious, and our perception of life is constantly declining. The simple fun and fulfillment in our hearts have been replaced by a deep sense of insecurity, and by insecurity The anxiety, boredom and emptiness brought about by the feeling are further eroding our instinctive judgment and feelings about life, causing us to lose the human instinct that guides life and thus creates a sense of security. At the same time, we also lose the sense of what we must do. On the surface, this double loss of instinct and the tradition of what should be done is caused by social pressure, but in essence it is caused by the inner abandonment of the search for the meaning of life. This is why we, who are busy, feel infinite in our hearts once we are free. Loneliness and emptiness will grow crazily because we don’t know why we are living. We need to constantly push our lives through work and instructions. Once no one tells us what to do, we will be at a loss.

Therefore, for us who are under heavy pressure, if we want to root out the boredom and anxiety about life and eliminate the inner insecurity and emptiness, then in addition to bravely pursuing the meaning of life , we have no other choice but to regain the motivation to live.

2. How do we pursue the meaning of life?

For each of us, the meaning of life is actually different, and it is different every day and every moment. We cannot discuss the universality of the meaning of life apart from the particularity of the individual. This is like asking a chess player: "Tell me, Master, what is the most powerful move in the world?" Without a specific chess game and a specific opponent, there is no most powerful move at all, not even a more powerful move. There are no tricks, and the same is true for the meaning of life. We should not ask about the abstract meaning of life. Everyone's life has its own unique mission. This mission cannot be replaced by others. It can only be completed if we spend our life's energy to experience and create.

Although the meaning of life is always changing for everyone and every moment, this does not mean that meaning cannot be pursued. On the contrary, it is precisely because the meaning of life and the uniqueness of individual life are related to each other. Creativity is relevant, making our pursuit more valuable and motivational. Frankl mentioned three ways to explore the meaning of life in his work: 1. By creating something or engaging in a career (work); 2. By experiencing something or facing someone (love); 3. Adopting an attitude when enduring inevitable suffering (the courage to overcome difficulties).

We can easily understand the first way, which is to achieve some kind of achievement or success, and its meaning is obvious. Because this kind of achievement or success completes the creation of our life value, and at the same time achieves the possibility of self-realization. But what I must explain is that the purpose of this kind of value creation and self-realization is never for some worldly "success". This kind of achievement and success is a natural product, but we unconsciously devote ourselves to a certain great cause. Derivatives generated when giving to others, or by-products of giving to others. Our purpose is to experience and create that state of selflessness. If we turn the by-product into the purpose, we will lose all the fun.

The second way is through experiencing something - such as truth, goodness and beauty, or experiencing the uniqueness of another person - that is, loving someone. Psychologist Fromm believed that love is the only way to develop oneself and eliminate loneliness. Loneliness often goes hand in hand with nothingness. People who have been immersed in loneliness for a long time often lose their way in the "empty inner wilderness". And by loving someone, we can experience the uniqueness of another life, thereby discovering and creating a "self" that is independent of our own body. At the same time, under this kind of emotional interaction and creation, we will experience an instinctive sense of responsibility for our loved ones and life, which will become an inexhaustible source of meaning in life. Frankl relied on this infinite nostalgia for his lover and a high sense of responsibility for life to survive the three years of purgatory in Auschwitz.

The third way to find meaning in life is to endure suffering. Nietzsche said: “What doesn’t kill me makes me stronger.

"From a long-term perspective, the experience of suffering will give us a broader and richer life experience, and will give us more confidence and calmness when facing future setbacks and tribulations. However, from the actual situation, suffering is also One of the biggest obstacles in our pursuit of meaning (the other is nothingness) is because as human beings, when we face difficulties, we will always unconsciously ask ourselves what the meaning of doing is. If we can't answer it at this time, Suffering will easily defeat us, but in fact we ourselves defeat ourselves. Therefore, if we can answer the meaning of suffering, we will naturally be able to defeat it. Once suffering is defeated, the meaning of life will be revealed. In fact, this is not an "indestructible cycle". When we try to face suffering bravely, we have actually taken the first step in a virtuous cycle. As Bismarck said: "Life is like going to the dentist. You always feel the most uncomfortable when you go to the dentist." It’s not here yet, in fact it’s already passed. "The meaning of suffering will only appear when we can face it positively, and this meaning will inspire future struggles. We will soon discover that even in seemingly hopeless situations, even in In the face of irreversible misfortune, you can still find the meaning of life.

The above three methods may seem difficult to understand, but in fact, there are only two words at the core - responsibility for your career and your lover. Responsibility, and responsibility to oneself. For the entire human society, responsibility is the first essence of its existence. For individual life, responsibility creates the unique meaning of life for individuals. On the contrary, it is also the meaning of life for us. The meaning of it. Once we realize that we are irreplaceable in life, we will fully realize our responsibilities and realize our responsibilities to the people we love or the unfinished business, and we will never abandon ourselves. If you know the "why" of your existence, you will also know the "how" to live.

What is the meaning of life? I think we no longer need to worry about this ultimate question. The act of talking about "the meaning of life" without seeing the actual reality of life is meaningless in itself. As mentioned at the beginning, the meaning of life does not lie in itself, but in our answer to it. Instead of asking about life every day, it is meaningless. What is the meaning? It is better to bravely answer the questions that life raises for us. Perhaps in this answer, we can discover the unique meaning of our lives.