Humorous financial knowledge

1. There are three girls in Section Li's family, one is five years old, the other is three years old, and the other is just over one year old.

As soon as section Li comes home every day, three girls scramble to fuck him, and there's nothing they can do. Finally, he always said, "Be good, be good, don't argue.

The boss is the best, the second is the best, and the third is not. "The wife is not convinced." Why do you talk like that? Don't all three children behave the same? "Section Li said with a smile," the third child is too young to understand.

"2. One day, a group of soldiers, led by an officer, came to an Okawa Department. There are many recruits in this regiment. The colonel looked at the river in front of him and then at the soldiers. He really can't think of a suitable word to order the recruits to cross the river. When he was in distress, he suddenly had a brainwave. He ordered: "all of you are dismissed and will be on the other side of the river in two minutes!" 3. The minister who was born as a stonemason was interviewed by a reporter.

The reporter asked, "What do you think is the similarity between being a priest and being a mason?" The minister replied: "First, you should have the ability to muddle along;" Second, don't get dizzy when standing on a high place! " Last year, Lao Liu of Nanpo Village started a chicken farm. I didn't expect village cadres to come once every three days, either catching chickens or taking eggs. As a result, the chicken farm lost a lot of money at the end of the year.

2. There is a kind of humor called accounting.

Continue to ask and answer questions.

Q: Will the boss reward you well? A: The twelfth transmission of the policy was awarded to Qian 1000. Q: Hehe.

That's worth it.

How long have you been an accountant? A: I felt the dream of Yangzhou for ten years and got a lucky name as a brothel. Q: Not long. Is accounting easy? A: Once you work hard, there will be few stars around you.

Q: It's all about a belief. So you love this job? A: Men are eager to go to the battlefield, but they love Taiwan and don't look forward to their hometown.

Q: That's great. I love my job and work hard. Accounting fraud seems to be very serious now, isn't it? A: But through these clouds, how do I know which corner of the mountain it is facing? .

Q: Don't make fun of me. Did you do it or not? A: Fortunately, I don't understand the combination of peaches and willows, and I hate plum blossoms for ten years. Q: It seems that you still can't be alone! I heard that accounting needs many titles and qualifications. A: Flowers are getting better and better. Shallow grass can be without horseshoes.

Q: I heard that CPA is called the first test in the world? Is the exam really difficult? A: Alas, the risk is high! Such a trip is more difficult than climbing the blue sky. Q: There are so many certificates to test, and it is so difficult to test. How are you doing? A: The art of war consists of 12 volumes, and each volume has the name of the Lord.

Q: Demonstration! What a boast! How can such cattle get along like this? Answer: If you know me, I am worried. If you don't know me, what do you want? .

3. What is the common sense that accountants must keep in mind?

Can the original vouchers obtained from other units have no official seal? The Basic Accounting Work Standard (hereinafter referred to as the Standard) clearly points out: "The original vouchers obtained from foreign units must be stamped with the official seal of the filling unit."

However, in practice, there are some special phenomena. Out of habit or because the user thinks that the original voucher is not easy to forge, it is not stamped with the official seal. For example, airline tickets, boat tickets, train tickets and bus tickets generally have no official seals.

How to use original vouchers to split documents? When the expenses listed in the original voucher need to be shared by more than two units, the unit that keeps the original voucher shall issue the original voucher to other units that should bear it. The company that received the original voucher will use the voucher as an attachment to the bookkeeping voucher.

What kind of accounting vouchers can be attached without original vouchers? According to the specification requirements, all accounting vouchers must be accompanied by original vouchers, except for two cases: 1, accounting vouchers for closing. 2. Correct the wrong original voucher.

Can the original voucher be used as the basis for accounting vouchers? According to the regulations, the copy of the original voucher shall not be used as the basis for accounting vouchers. The loss of the original documents shall be handled in accordance with the specific provisions of the Code.

How to grasp the binding thickness of accounting vouchers? There is no specific regulation on the binding thickness of accounting vouchers in the specification, and 3 cm is generally appropriate.

4. Seek a bibliography with popular accounting knowledge, which is more interesting and readable.

Iverson, a recommended work, remembers that the real account teaches you to learn accounting, which is easy to understand, vivid and vivid, practical in real life, and honest and frank practice. A 2 that seems to work? Hutchison Whampoa's Struggle Dream: Preparing for Diary? Intermediate accounting practice.

Added:

Accounting discipline system is the product of planned economy. Later, with the reform and transformation of institutional economy and system, modern accounting and management accounting systems of modern enterprise system were established. In recent years, the international system and internationalization of teaching accounting have developed rapidly.

4, Chinese accounting firms and certified public accountants examination subjects

United States: financial accounting and reporting, auditing, business environment and theory, laws and regulations (including tax law);

6 plus: accounting, financial management, tax law, economic law, plus a comprehensive test.

It is reported that it is easier to explain this difference after studying CPA of China Institute of Accounting. The gap is not so big, but it is still similar. What is the development after the treatment is not clear.

5. Food safety tips jingle funny version

Funny version of food safety tips are:

1, food safety is systematic, and incoming inspection is an obligation.

2, to buy raw materials to establish accounts, don't forget to ask for vouchers and tickets.

Don't bother to register one by one. It is not difficult to trace the source.

4, three products can not be done, nip in the bud can be done.

5, incoming inspection suppliers, licenses and certificates.

Knowledge expansion:

Other jingles about food safety:

1, improper transportation, storage, processing and disposal lead to rapid pollution.

2, raw and cooked meat and vegetables are not separated, and natural bacteria reproduce quickly.

3, cook and eat, forget the brain, it is definitely not good to enter the gastrointestinal tract.

4, vomiting and diarrhea are really uncomfortable and need to induce vomiting.

6. Top Ten Jokes

Ten jokes [1] Waiting for the bus to go to work this morning to catch the bus, the bus had already started when we got to the platform.

So I chased and shouted, "master, wait for me, master, wait for me."

"

This is a passenger sticking his head out of the window and saying to me, "Wukong, stop chasing, Bajie will camel you!" " "[2] Witnesses of Traffic Accidents An overseas student from China witnessed a traffic accident in California, USA, and never left because of curiosity. When the police arrived, they asked him if he knew what had happened. He said, "one car e, one car goes, two cars Peng Peng, one car dies." "

[3] It's hard to do. A girl was sitting in a seat, chewing gum desperately, but her foot reached into the passage next to the desk and was found by the teacher. "Mary!" The teacher shouted at her sternly.

"What is it, teacher?" The girl replied. "Take the gum out of your mouth and put your feet in!" [4] In the death penalty prison, a condemned man is fidgeting.

A kind guard said to him, "Don't be afraid, the current is very strong, and it won't hurt in a blink of an eye." At this time, there was a scream from the execution ground.

"What's that noise?" Asked the condemned man trembling. "I don't know."

The guard said, go to the execution ground and see what happened. "Nothing, catch up with the power failure, so we have to use candles."

The guard said casually. [5] On the Water-Splashing Festival, everyone throws water on each other to bless them. Suddenly a man scolded: Shit, who spilled water on me? Others advised that throwing you is a blessing.

Don't do that, the curse said. Who threw boiling water at me? [6] It is common for overtime advertising companies to work overtime. Every six o'clock in the afternoon, many colleagues will call home and inform them that they have to burn the midnight oil and can't go home for dinner. I always feel sour when I listen to it, but once, a colleague who is a father called home, but it made people feel warm and interesting: "Hey, are you a whirlwind?" You tell Superwoman that six million dollar man won't go back to Huaguoshan to eat vegetarian peaches today. Goodbye! [7] centipede outing A man bought a centipede as a gift and took it home in a box.

Later, he wanted to go for a walk with his new friends, so he knocked on the box and said, "Hey, buddy, shall we go for a walk?" There is no sound in the box. After a while, the man knocked on the box again and said, "Do you want to go out for a walk?" The centipede still did not answer.

He decided to ask for the last time, so he put his face on the box and shouted, "Hey, are you interested in going for a walk?" A faint voice finally came from the box: "I heard it the first time you called me." I am busy putting on my shoes! " "[8] The consulting fee is too high. Psychologist: "I have been too impatient and nervous recently." I have to see a psychiatrist. "Friend:" But aren't you the best doctor in your field? Psychologist: "I know, but my consultation fee is too expensive." "

[9] Outside the delivery room of the hospital, a group of men are waiting to become new fathers. A nurse hurried out of the delivery room and said to one of them, "Congratulations, your wife gave birth!" " "Another man threw cigarette butts on the ground, jumped up and shouted," how dare you! I got there before him. Why isn't it my turn yet? My father and brother and I went to West Point Military Academy to watch a football match between the Army and Boston University. Before we started, we walked around and met many students in neat uniforms.

Several tourists asked the recruits if they would pretend to be soldiers and let them shoot. "So our son can know what he will get if he comes to study at West Point."

A middle-aged couple walked up to a very beautiful female student and asked her if she would like to pose for a photo. They explained, "We want our son to know what he missed when he didn't come to West Point Military Academy."

7. Accounting entries express Valentine's Day love

The accounting entry of Valentine's Day love is in the form of a T-account. Those who don't understand accounting can't read it. If they know accounting, they feel not only the expression of love, but also the unique humor of accounting. As shown in the figure:

Explanation:

The accounting subject is: my life.

Debit opening balance is 0, which means nothing.

Debit amount, 13 14 means: life,

Credit amount, 794 means: irritating,

Calculation method of ending balance: ending balance = opening balance+debit amount-credit amount =0+ 13 14-794=520.

Final balance 520: I love you.

8. I need some humorous stories ~ ~ ~

Dear classmates, I miss you very much.

Let me introduce you first. A: My name is Guo Liangliang.

My name is Zhao Pangpang. A: Pangpang, are you a freshman? If there is anything I can do for you in the future, please let me know and I will do my best.

Oh, of course. Boss, did you get good grades? A: Just so-so.

B: Then why are your grades so good? A: Because I was honed from the bitter experience of "frying shredded pork with bamboo board", I have deeply realized that I will be beaten if I fall behind. B: Well, heroes have the same experience.

Can you be more specific? B: Women's singles score below 80, men's singles score below 70 and mixed doubles score below 60. What do you mean? B: Mom under b:80 hit me, Dad under 70 hit me, and Mom and Dad under 60 hit me together.

Did you grow up in this environment? B: Who cares how bitter my heart is and where I will go tomorrow? Oh, my poor classmate, but it doesn't matter. Sooner or later, your body will become indestructible, and then you will live forever.

B: Hey, senior, I've heard that you stand out from the crowd and monopolize the glans penis. Please introduce your study method to me. A: I couldn't stop singing last night, and my dream of winning the championship was shaken back. It's already midnight. I got up and washed my face with cold water, and then I desperately picked up the window lamp and concentrated on becoming famous.

White leaves fall in front of the window, blocking the way. I want to talk to Yao Qin. It's impossible. I have no time at all. But I just can't learn well, even if I stay up late.

A: You study during the day, study at night, eat and go to the toilet. Study hard before you study. B: That won't do. If you study all night, you have to sleep during the day.

Reading while eating, twice stuffing rice into nostrils, three times stuffing it into ears and four times stuffing it into other people's mouths. I'm afraid to read in the toilet.

What are you afraid of? I'm afraid of falling in. I won't swim there. What do you do at school? B: I am at school, jumping, crying, laughing, hitting, hanging against the wall, sleeping during the day and shooting at night. I got under the bed and bit the mouse.

A: If you don't study hard, you might as well go home and sell sweet potatoes. If you don't study hard, you might as well go home and farm. Forget it, stop suffering here and go home.

Hey ... What are you talking about? What's so great about you? Just study hard. I want to make your family restless. What do you want? I'll call your home.

Hello, is this Guo Liangliang's mother? I have some sad news for you. My lovely classmate Guo Liangliang was hit by a car yesterday morning, hit by a stone, kicked by a donkey and bitten by a dog. Now she is being rescued in the hospital. A: Where is it? B: Urumqi, Heilongjiang.

Why do you say so far? B: Let her take her time to find it by car. The fare is all inclusive. Well, you are cruel. Look, everyone, that's him calling anyone with a phone number like this.

To tell the truth, I do have difficulties in my study. A: What's the difficulty? B: Reading makes me sleepy, thirsty and hungry, and I want to go to the toilet.

That's easy to handle. B: What shall we do? Answer: Drink red bull when you are thirsty and hungry, red bull when you are sleepy and tired, and red bull when you have frequent urination and urgency.

Red bull, red bull, neither red nor cow. B: But we only have yellow cattle, not red cattle.

A: Forget it. I'd better tell you a few stories to stimulate your interest in learning. I like stories.

Have you ever heard of Che Yin Capsule Firefly, Sun Kang Xue Ying and Kuang Heng? I haven't heard of it. What happened? A: As for Che Yin, when he was a child, he loved reading very much, but his family was poor and had no money to buy lamps. So he caught a lot of fireflies, put them in bags and read books at night. B: Then let's catch fireflies.

What do you want fireflies for when you have electric lights and sticks? B: Only in this way can I show that I study hard. A: Please, fireflies will glow. Can it shine? Fireflies can fly. Can you fly? What about Sun Kang Xue Ying? A: Sun Kang wants to study at night, but his family is poor and there is no light, so he studies in the snow by the light of the snow.

B: I don't think it's snowy either, but how cold it is outside. Studying outside is not sleepwalking, but also mental derangement.

Let's listen to the people who steal from the wall. I also want to learn. A: That was Kuang Heng stealing a lamp from the wall, and Kuang Heng's family was poor, and there was no lamp to study at night, so he dug a hole in his wall and studied with the lamp of his neighbor.

But there is a pigsty next door to my house. Besides, what if the pig next door peeks at me taking a bath? I introduced them to you because I want you to learn their hard-working spirit. That's how genius is born. B: Geniuses make money every day.

Why do you care so much about money? Well, since you can't learn from China, learn from a foreign country. Newton.

B: Cows like elephants are slow to react. A: ostrovsky.

B: You're going home to marry an old hen? A: Dalton, the father of modern chemistry. B: I've never heard of chemistry since I was a child. I have a father. Who the fuck is that? A: Well, well, let's stop studying and talk about your life.

Ah, my life here is so wonderful. I think I live in sweet happiness. Yo, be specific.

One day I went to the canteen to eat. After dinner, I put my rice bowl in the canteen and it was gone the next day. What about you? B: So I posted a notice at the entrance of the canteen: Dear classmate, you accidentally took my job. I am deeply sorry for this, because I have hepatitis A, hepatitis B, hepatitis C, liver cirrhosis, myocardial infarction and meningitis. I hope I can put my job back.

Is this still alive? A: what happened later? B: I went to the canteen door the next morning and saw more than 200 rice bowls piled up at the door. A: More than 200? So what do you do? B: I chose three of the most beautiful ones for rice bowls, two for urinals, one for washbasins, and the rest were sold to waste collectors. They sold for more than 65,438+000 yuan, enough for me to eat for a day.

A: Great. Then try again. B: But I have sold all the jobs in our dormitory. Otherwise, you can try.

I am not as kind as you. Oh, I'm flattered.

A: fickle and heartless. B: Senior, let's change the subject.

A: OK.

9. Composition: My family's "Financial Management" has vivid and humorous sentences of about 500 words.

When I was in primary school, my home was close to school. Every day, my mother picks me up at the school gate.

She comes to pick me up from work early every day, and then goes out to deal with dinner at dinner time. Every time I cross the street, my mother always holds my left hand with her right hand and looks at the cars coming and going.

Sometimes there are too many people, and she is afraid of crowding me. She always waits for someone to pass by before holding my hand and running across the road. It was not until she stood on the sidewalk that she let go of my hand and felt relieved.

At that time, my mouth kept a beautiful radian every day. An autumn rain and a cold, I am a careless child, and I always forget to bring my umbrella when I go out in this rainy season.

Well, that day, despite my mother's repeated exhortations, I left home empty-handed. God was not beautiful that day, but it rained after school. It is neither too big nor too small, but the rain has never stopped.

I looked anxiously at the door, hoping that my mother would pick me up soon ... Finally, I saw my mother in the rain, and she was waiting for me with a lovely little blue umbrella. When she saw me running, she quickly covered me under the umbrella. I tilted my head and looked at my mother and the lovely little blue umbrella, but I saw my mother's loving smiling face and the blue sky she held up for me.

On the way home, I jumped under the umbrella, and my mother trotted behind me. Even so, there is not even a drop of rain on me. I was curious about how big this umbrella was, but I turned to look at my mother. Her clothes were half wet, and the rain slid over my arm. Seeing what I wanted to say, she motioned me not to talk and gave me a calm smile.

I wonder if this will work. Can you share it with me? I am a novice (⊙o⊙).