Avoid "widowed" family education and start with "male god father"

One noon four years ago, I sent my daughter to school and picked up Xinyi, a girl from my neighbor's house.

On the way, Xinyi said to me with tears: "My mother doesn't want me."

I can't believe it: "How?"

She said, "She hasn't spoken to me for a day and a half. She quarreled with my dad and said that she wanted my dad to take care of me. My dad is stupid, what should I do? "

Before, Xinyi's mother once talked to me, saying that her husband often took it out on his daughter because of the contradiction between husband and wife, regardless of children and family. Their family is a typical widowed family. Xinyi's frightened eyes make me uneasy, not only worrying about her mental health, but also worrying about my daughter Mingming.

Although my family is not a "widowed" family in the strict sense, and the relationship between husband and wife is good, my husband rarely accompanies his daughter and always plays mobile phone or computer at home.

The quality of father-son relationship

Mothers play a huge role.

Later, I saw an article about how the mother of former US President Barack Obama educated Obama, and then I suddenly realized.

Obama Sr went to Harvard University for re-education less than a year after Obama was born. Later, Obama's parents divorced and he lived with his mother. Ann didn't show her anger at old Obama in front of her son, and she never spoke ill of old Obama in front of her son.

In fact, whenever I talk to my son about his father, Ann always talks about advantages. She always said to Obama, "Your father is smart and humorous, good at musical instruments and has a nice voice ..." The results of this kind of tutoring are obvious to all.

This story inspired me a lot: mother plays a great role in the relationship between father and son. At the same time, this story also gave me great confidence, which can make my husband's image in my daughter's eyes tall.

First of all, I learned the lesson from my neighbors, and I will never complain and slander my husband in front of my daughter again-because doing so will not help improve the relationship between husband and wife, and it will also make children hate their father.

On weekends, I like to take my daughter Mingming out to play. But on weekends, my husband just wants to stay at home and doesn't want to go out, so I take my daughter out alone most of the time. I used to complain to my daughter that her father was lazy. I've changed since I decided to establish a tall image of my husband. I often let my daughter talk to her father on the phone when visiting scenic spots, so it seems that my husband is also involved in our trip.

One day we went to the window of the world to play, and my daughter wanted to skate, but I haven't skated for many years, and I'm a little timid. My daughter asked to call her father, who promised to take her skating next week. To make up for it, I took my daughter to the ski resort, and she had a good time that day.

Secondly, I try my best to explore the advantages of my husband, "show off" in front of my daughter and let her worship her father.

My husband loves to play mobile phones, so I decided to start with mobile games that everyone hates. I am game-blind, and I don't want to waste precious time on games.

But I think, as long as my husband is better than me, he can take it as his advantage. It's not that I didn't like my husband playing games before, but I couldn't accept my daughter's study. However, without my knowledge, my daughter fell in love with a mobile phone game called "Cool Run Every Day".

One day, she said to me, "Mom, I asked the girls in my class. Few girls play "Everyday Cool Run" except me. " Say that finish, put on a proud posture.

Because I want to mold my husband into my daughter's male god, I seized the opportunity and quickly said, "Is it because your father plays well?"

"Of course, this is my father taught me! Several uncles can't run away from my dad. " The daughter said proudly.

This is the first time that I didn't criticize my husband for playing games in front of my daughter. I echoed, "Yes, your father is really good at playing games." As a result, the shaping of "male god father" began.

Find an advantage for your husband.

Not just the establishment of parent-child relationship between father and daughter

It is also a big combing of our married life.

I have been married for many years, but in order to establish a tall image of my husband for my daughter, I can hardly find the advantages of my husband. That day, I sat at my desk and racked my brains to list my husband's advantages in my notebook. It suddenly occurred to me that this is not only the establishment of the parent-child relationship between father and daughter, but also a major combing of our married life.

A lively campus near my desk caught my eye. During that time, my second-grade daughter loved reading joke books such as Laughing at Campus and Father and Son, and she was always eager to share them with us. As a result, she laughed out of breath, but we couldn't laugh at all.

I remember when I first met my husband, in order to tell me a joke, he would rehearse it many times quietly until he thought it would make me laugh. But now, I can't remember the last time he told me a joke.

"Joker", I wrote down my husband's first advantage in my notebook. My husband loves reading, has a wide range of knowledge, speaks humorously and has a unique ability to tell jokes.

The next day, Yao Ming came to tell me jokes and still laughed. I said to her, "Your father is good at telling jokes. You should learn from him and ask him the trick of telling jokes without laughing. "

Mingming went to learn from her father, who told her, "That's because I have to repeat a joke many times before I tell it until I stop laughing." Yao Ming was instructed to do as her father did. After a while, the level of telling jokes really improved.

When the family has dinner together, their father and daughter occasionally come to a "joke telling contest". I laugh low, and sometimes I can't stop laughing to pay tribute.

Clearly said: "mom, your jokes must be improved." You see, I am as powerful as my dad, and I can tell jokes without laughing. " This shot, I always open it well. Well, in the process of cultivating "male god father", my husband and I will definitely have a process of choice, and I have to accept it.

When my husband was at school, math and physics were strong points. Yes, this is my husband's second advantage. I'll write it down in my notebook quickly.

One night after dinner, my husband was tutoring my niece in chemistry. I took the opportunity to say to Mingming, "Your father is in an experimental class in high school. At that time, it was a great thing to be admitted to the experimental class. His math and physics exams are the first in his class, and he is especially good at doing experiments. You can ask your father to teach you to do experiments. "

When I lifted my husband so high, he was naturally happy. He immediately gave the order: "Turn off the light and I will give you a rainbow." So, Ming Ming turned off all the lights at home as quickly as possible.

My husband picked up the prepared glass container filled with water and deliberately said, "Close your eyes and pray 10 seconds." The three of us cooperated quickly. When we opened our eyes, we saw a rainbow on the wall. My husband was smiling proudly with a flashlight in a glass container. This rainbow experiment has improved her husband's position in her daughter's heart a lot.

When Mingming was in the second grade, a parrot flew to her house. It was also those days that on the way to meet Mingming after school, a little classmate caught a hamster on the school playground. He didn't dare to touch it himself and gave it to Mingming. I remembered my husband's third power. When I got home, I quickly wrote down in my notebook: My husband loves nature, animals and plants very much.

When we first started dating, we often went to Huanggang Park to play together. There, he will tell me a lot of animals and plants he sees, mainly plants. Parrots and hamsters remind me of many good memories. I quickly bought a birdcage and a hamster cage, waiting for my husband on a business trip.

In order to cooperate with my husband, I specially vacated a bathroom and moved the lack of nature of urban children into the house. My daughter is very excited. When my husband comes back from a business trip, no matter how late he comes home, he will first look at hamsters and parrots and specially buy their favorite food online.

I liked it at first, but I didn't know how to domesticate it. Later, she began to learn from her father, and slowly dared to let the parrot stand in her hand, during which she was pecked by the parrot more than once.

Last summer, my family lived in our hometown in the countryside for a period of time. One day, when we were having breakfast under the eaves in the morning, we heard a cicada singing. Husband said it must have been caught by mantis. Our family was too lazy to eat, so we ran with cicada and moved a stool to step on it. Sure enough, we found a cicada caught by mantis on a big branch. When mantis saw us, he didn't want to give up cicada, so he had to take mantis away by force.

Mingming asked his father, "How do you know that cicada was caught by mantis?"

The husband said, "The cicada's chirping is very sad. It must be hurt, so I guess it's mantis. "

Mingming said admiringly, "Dad, you are great." Don't talk about my daughter, even I grew up in the countryside, I pay tribute to my husband.

In the next few days, my husband gave me and Mingming more surprises. "Mom, look, dad caught a lot of slugs." "Mom, dad saved Xiaohei (a puppy)." "Mom, come and see. Dad found toad eating earthworms." "Mom, dad taught me to fish today." Husband also taught his daughter Lu Xun the fart bug mentioned in "Hundred Herbs Garden". My mother-in-law keeps saying that my husband is not doing his duty because of these little things, but my heart is full of joy.

Whenever she asks me something and needs me to rely on Baidu, she will "ridicule" me and never forget to mention how powerful her father is.

At this time, as a mother, I must be broad-minded, cater to her and praise her father. You know, it is relatively easy for a mother to establish a tall and positive image in front of her children, while a father always seems to be in a weak position in this respect. Because a large part of his tall image depends on the role of mother.

Create a "male god father"

Our family is the biggest beneficiary.

After the fourth grade, Mingming began to talk about beauty and handsomeness, and also talked about "puppy love" that adults of our time avoided. Because I don't forbid her to talk about it at ordinary times, I will discuss it with her if she says who likes who in class, and she is happy to talk to me about it.

One night before going to bed, she talked about a boy in the class who confessed to a girl. I asked her if there was anyone she liked. She said she didn't dare to look at boys at work at all. I asked, "Which one do you like?"

She proudly said, "Dad is my idol."

Just as I was smiling from ear to ear, she changed the subject and said with a bad smile, "I really don't know how my dad married you." You are a little unworthy of my idol! " "My eyes a stare, raise my hand to pretend to hit her. She immediately raised her hand and surrendered.

Today, I recorded a dozen advantages of my husband in my notebook. In recent years, I have also benefited a lot from cultivating "male god dad". For example, I will call my husband who is playing mobile phone and tell Mingming the math problem; I will let my husband cook, euphemistically called "your daughter just loves your cooking"; I will also pull my husband out with us and laugh at several women without him as a "male god"; Wait a minute.

And the biggest beneficiary is our family. When I put down my body and threw away the "why" in the eyes of many women, I re-examined my husband's marriage with us for many years, and then straightened out various family relationships in the name of creating a "male god father".

end

Author: Ding Furen

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