Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - At school, when the class was crowded, one student pushed and shoved, causing four students to press on one person, causing serious injuries. Who is in charge?

At school, when the class was crowded, one student pushed and shoved, causing four students to press on one person, causing serious injuries. Who is in charge?

The story of love

When the boy and the girl just fell in love, the boy folded a thousand paper cranes for the girl and hung them on the girl.

In the room. The boy said to the girl, these 1000 paper cranes represent my 1000 hearts.

At that time, boys and girls felt the sweetness and happiness of love every minute.

Then the girls gradually alienated the boys. The girl got married and went to France for countless times.

Paris in her dream. When girls and boys break up, they say to boys, we all will.

We must face up to the reality. Marriage is a second reincarnation for women, and I must seize every opportunity.

You are so pathetic, I can't imagine the days when we were together ... boys and girls went to France.

After that, he sold newspapers, worked as a temporary worker, and did small business. He worked hard at every job.

. Many years have passed, and with the help of his friends and his own efforts, he finally has a self.

One of my own companies. He is rich, but he is still infatuated with girls.

One day it was raining, and the boy saw an old man in front of him from his black Audi car.

Walk slowly. The boy recognized the girl's parents, so he decided to follow them. He wants to make

They see that they not only have cars, but also villas and companies to let them know about him.

He is not poor, he is a young boss. The boy followed them all the way through the local train. It's been raining.

It was raining. Although the old couple were holding an umbrella, they were still wet by the oblique rain. At the destination, male.

The child froze. This is a graveyard. He saw the girl, who was facing him in the porcelain statue of the tombstone.

Sweet smile. Next to the small tomb, a string of paper cranes hung on thin wire, in the drizzle.

It's so vivid.

The girl's parents told the boy that the girl didn't go to Paris and she had cancer.

Went to heaven. Girls want boys to get ahead and have a warm home, so girls

Make such a move. She said that she knew the boy and thought he would succeed. The girl said

If one day, the boy goes to the cemetery to see her, please take some paper cranes with you anyway. The boy knelt down,

Kneeling at the girl's grave, tears streaming down her face. It didn't stop raining in Tomb-Sweeping Day, and the boy was soaked to the skin.

. The boy remembered the innocent smiling face of the girl many years ago, and his heart began to bleed.

It's bleeding.

When the old man walked out of the cemetery, he saw a boy standing not far away. Audi's car door was already

Open to the elderly. A sad song came from the car stereo, "My heart, don't regret it.

Repeatedly for you, paper cranes, thousands of feelings, flying with the wind ... "

Missing Han

I have something hard to say. How can I put it? My girlfriend, Han, is missing.

I met Han on the day when the freshmen reported for duty. She stood in front of the boys' dormitory building and stamped every boy who came to get the residence permit. It was two o'clock in the afternoon-the hottest time of the day. At this point, Han looks exhausted and exhausted. I handed her all the messy forms in my hand, and she took out one of them, stamped it with an lazy seal and returned it to me. I dragged two boxes of luggage into the boys' dormitory, and the house manager asked me for a residence permit. I just realized that the lazy girl forgot to issue me a residence permit just now. I ran out and asked Han for a residence permit. She stared at me for three minutes with big myopic eyes as bright as a light bulb, and she didn't remember to poke me just now. I explained to her that I did pay 900 yuan for the accommodation, and it was impossible to lie to her. She still stared at me unblinkingly. I saw the blue outline of her contact lens, and thought that this little thousand dollars had been hit by Shui Piao, a confused and forgetful girl. I prayed that she would wake up in a cold sweat at midnight because she was sorry for me.

"Why don't we check all the submitted forms?" Han Zuo Zuo stared at me for nearly a quarter of an hour and found inspiration to solve the problem from my angry face.

Han moved out of a big carton, and I saw the form I put on it at a glance. Han didn't seem particularly embarrassed. She glanced at my form, made some comments on my one-inch black-and-white bareheaded photo, then stamped the blank accommodation certificate and handed it to me: "There is glue over there, just paste your photo."

Do I have to thank Han for finally entering the door of the boys' dormitory?

In the second year of high school, Han was still that dizzy girl, who often shuttled around the school with different boyfriends. Sometimes I meet Han's ex-boyfriend or current boyfriend at a friend's party. They occasionally say that Han is a good girl, but she is really strange. There are always some messy games and ideas that make her boyfriend laugh and cry. Finally, they broke up for some strange reasons. For example, once Han pretended to be a flying policewoman in the middle of the night and sent a text message to her sleeping boyfriend, but his boyfriend didn't return. Han felt that the man didn't care about himself at all and broke up with her the next day. I think Han is not only a confused girl, but also a terrible girl: what nonsense enthusiasm she has given to the majority of male compatriots is outrageous.

In the third year of college, Han planned to graduate at leisure. One day, Han Ba called me out and asked me if I had a girlfriend. My scalp was numb and I trembled and told the truth: no. Han handed me a pink envelope with a heart on it. Later, Han graduated, and the owner of the pink envelope and I became another couple on campus.

Zhang Yifei is beautiful, but not as beautiful as I like. I think she is a silly girl: she knows nothing but enchanting and famous brands. But I accepted her, and I was a little worried that this silly girl would be cheated.

On the 70th anniversary of the school, I met Han again. She is the same, neither more sophisticated nor smarter. She asked me loudly how things were with Zhang Yifei, and I told her that we broke up and I was still alone. Han asked me what I was going to do after graduation. I said I haven't decided yet. I was admitted to the computer department of this university with a fairly high score, but after graduation, I found that I didn't want to spend another day dealing with programs. Later, at Han's suggestion, I opened a small shop selling clothes with her. With Han's unique vision, we really lost a lot and managed to maintain the store without being taken back by the owner.

Later, I found that the small ornaments that Han bought carelessly and wore as accessories were always noticed, so I suggested that we switch to selling ornaments: this is a profiteering business, and things with one or two dollars can always be sold at a price ten to dozens times higher than ourselves. In less than a month, we made a small fortune and fell in love with Han under the stimulation of success.

In the next two years, I understood what Han's ex-boyfriend meant by "good girl". Han is really a good girl: she is very kind and will never sell her jewelry at the low price offered by customers, but in the end, she often miscalculates the wrong money and sells things to customers at a lower price; She is very considerate and insists on getting up early to make breakfast, although she often mistakenly adds salt to milk as sugar. Later, I got used to drinking salty milk and enjoyed it. She is very interesting. She often tells me some big jokes, such as "one day a small match tickles and scratches her head and sets herself on fire", and then laughs at herself all day. ...

But such a good girl disappeared in the morning when we fell in love for three years and 27 days.

I called Han's mother: "Aunt, has Han come home?"

"What are you playing? Who is your aunt? " Han's mother angrily dropped my phone.

It seems that Han's mother didn't accept me as her daughter's boyfriend except Han didn't come home. So where did she go? I hope she is at home when I look at the store every day. I go home every day wondering if she has gone to the store.

At first, I thought it was a joke. Everyone knows that Han is a joker. When she receives a mobile phone fraud message such as "Dear customer, you spent 6700 yuan in the shopping center, which has been deducted from your bank account, please call the UnionPay customer service center to verify", she will really call the person who answered the phone and seriously ask whether the bank has engaged in any preferential activities recently. She clearly remembers spending 8000 yuan in the shopping center instead of 6700 yuan. It seems that the people on the other side of the receiver have never met such a fraud object. He (she) paused, and soon realized that he still had to cheat Han's bank card password, and then said that it was better to check the bank card password. Before Han could speak, he tentatively greeted each other twice. Han pretends to be impatient and says that I'm waiting for you to read your account and password before checking with you ... Han must be playing a game called "missing" with me. She found a place to hide and made me look for her like crazy, and then she suddenly appeared and said that she had been taken away by E.T. for an experiment.

However, a week later, I realized that this was not a joke. Han is not a patient girl: every time she quarrels with me and ignores me, she will persist for less than two and a half days. She will tease me to talk to her. Just give her a step, she will tell her that she is wrong with tears, and then we will make up as if nothing has happened. This time, it has been a whole week, and Han hasn't given me any news yet. It seems that she is really missing.

I didn't call the police. I want to find out if I did something wrong and offended Han, which led her to break up with me silently. I don't know yet.-it's possible. But I always feel that if we break up, Han will at least take her things away, but now her teddy bear is still sitting squarely on my pillow, her slippers are still standing at the door with her left foot facing her right foot, and her favorite cartoon DVD is still in the DVD player, which will automatically read when plugged in. The new goods she ordered were sent to the store, including the cheap ring she bought to make a wedding ring ... We didn't break up, and I firmly believe that she is a kind and good girl.

Han has been gone for half a month, but I still insist on getting up early every day to drink salty milk, and then go to the store to sell the jewelry picked by Han. It's just that Han's disappearance puts me in a dilemma. I seem to have lost weight, and the clothes in the closet are all big, but Han won't come back. I can't buy clothes for myself. She likes to watch me wear clothes of her own choosing. The computer in the shop is broken. I can't do anything like Han Zuo Zuo. I don't know if it's because I've been away from school for too long or because I've lived with Han for too long. I sometimes sit on the windowsill and smoke alone. When will my Han Zuo Zuo come back?

I went to see my mother. My mother likes Han very much. Han always wins her heart with some small gifts: a basket of fresh fruit or a beautiful silk scarf. She asked my mother to accept her as a daughter, so that I could not "bully" her. My mother, a kind woman, agreed. According to Han's habit, I went to see my mother with seasonal fruits. Knocking at the door, my mother froze: "Why did you suddenly come?"

"Come back to see you."

"Good boy, go and sit inside."

I went straight into my room and lay in bed. The more I thought about it, the more wrong I was: my mother looked like she was going to cry as soon as she saw me, but she didn't ask about Han-I have to take her home every time since I fell in love with Han. These two doubts make me restless. I paced back and forth in the room, trying to rush out to find Han, but I didn't know where to find her. I sat down and tried to sleep for a while, but I couldn't sleep. I saw a photo of me and my parents at the seaside on my desk, but I can't remember where it was taken. I took out a book on the shelf and wanted to read it for a while. There is a picture of a fly in it. I was so angry that I tore them up.

When I woke up, it was completely dark. I was lying in bed, and I didn't know how to fall asleep. The quilt covering me smells of washing powder mixed with sunshine. This smell makes me feel at ease and makes me feel that my situation is not particularly bad. My love will come back.

"Son, get up and eat something." Mom is knocking at the door outside

I stood up, pushed the door and went out, and found many dishes on the table. I sat down to eat.

"Mom ..." I wanted to ask her if she knew anything about Han.

But as soon as I called "Mom", she began to cry.

"What's the matter, mom? What's wrong? " I feel more and more that she is hiding something from me. Zuo Zuo, is there a problem?

"Nothing, nothing, nice to meet you." Mother wiped her tears and put the food in my bowl.

Mom's lies are so lame that I know she must have something to prevaricate. After dinner, I rushed home: Han, even if you are a mole who can dig holes, I will dig three feet to find you. I found Han's phone book and called her former boyfriends one by one: "Have you seen Han recently?"

But Han is really a joking girl, which makes me encounter great obstacles when I inquire about Han's whereabouts: one person claimed that she went to Mars, two people said that she used to be a flying policewoman who maintained world peace, and another person told me that he watched Han become a marble pillar by the moat. The most serious answer is that he is too busy to play hide-and-seek with Han's children.

I don't know what to do. I am very angry. The girl I love is missing, but no one is willing to help me find it seriously.

Han, you are not a good girl as others say. If you come back this time, I will break up with you without hesitation.

After the first month and the second day after Han disappeared for no reason, I decided to forget about Han and move to the store.

Life in the shop is very regular. Let's drink a glass of salty milk first in the morning, and wait for Li Lai, the wholesaler who has a long-term cooperative relationship with us. Boss Li is a talkative woman in her forties. She often tells me gossip about other wholesalers, but she doesn't ask why I'm the only one in the shop. She doesn't ask about Han. Later, I almost expected her to talk to me about Han, but she didn't ask. Until I finally signed the word "Wang" on the invoice to end our transaction, she didn't ask again, just sighed lightly.

I suspect more and more that the whole world knows where Han is going, but only I don't know. At first, I was worried that she had been kidnapped, but I didn't receive the blackmail letter, and others looked embarrassed. I totally believe that Han left with a premeditated plan and will never come back. Korea is a disaster. I won't be stupid enough to fall in love with a girl who has brought great disaster to my life like Han: I can't help her if I don't love Han so much.

I dug out my contact book and called my old friend. But they seem to forget me and can't hear who I am. I heard their girlfriend ask, "Who is it?" They just said they didn't know, and then they hung up on me as if I were a unlucky person.

Finally, I thought of someone: Zhang Yifei. I really want to talk to someone. Although I was very resistant to this matter, I called Zhang Yifei.

I said, "Hello."

She thought for a moment and then said, "Oh. Is that you? "

I said, "Yes, how have you been recently?"

"Not bad, just came back from Europe."

"That's good."

"What about you?" Zhang Yifei asked me, and I knew she was just being polite.

"That's it. I opened a small shop selling jewelry. Come and have a look sometime. I sell it to you cheaply. "

Zhang Yifei smiled at the other end of the phone. I feel stupid. How can she take a fancy to what is sold in our store? She spends a lot of money now, and she has plenty of money to buy all kinds of famous brand jewelry. Why do you want to buy cheap goods like ours? I'm overreaching. Our jewelry is sold to cheap love, and poor people who have no money use it to make wishes.

"Well, I'll go and see it another day." Zhang Yifei is very polite.

I said goodbye and hung up.

I am wandering alone in the street, and there is that kind of hot smell in the bodies of warm-blooded animals on summer nights. There are few people in this remote street. We used to walk here. Han Hui suddenly jumped into the middle of the road, pretended to be killed by an oncoming car with open arms and said loudly, "Let's double suicide". No one will play this game with me now. It's not just Han who is missing, but also that cheap thing called love. They are like fake jewelry in our shop, emitting bright and dazzling light, giving people the feeling of hypocrisy and luxury, but they are worthless. I will gradually forget Han.

If there was no sudden visit from Zhang Yifei that day, I think I would go through my life with peace of mind.

It was a rainy afternoon and there were few guests in the shop. After selling the last batch of jewelry, I felt bored, so I opened a shop and did something else. At this time, the door of the store opened and Zhang Yifei flew out of the store.

I paused and stood up: "Why are you here?"

"Don't welcome? You invited me. "

"No, no, I just didn't expect you to come to our humble shop."

"I was shopping nearby, it was raining, and I didn't drive. I thought you were near here, so I came to see you and take shelter from the rain. " Zhang Yifei casually looked at the jewelry in the shop, picked it up and put it down.

Zhang Yifei is still so hypocritical: Can't shopping malls take shelter from the rain? Can't you go back by taxi? I came here on purpose. Why did you say I was on my way? I feel a chill, and I always feel that she will bring me something bad.

Zhang Yifei picked up a piece of jewelry: "How much is this?"

I took a look. This is a cheap ring from Han Zuo Zuo. It's not ready for sale, so there is no price tag:

"If you like, I can give you this. It's rare for you to take a fancy to what I have here. "

Zhang Yifei blushed at my words: "I know you are still worried about the past, but how can you not forget it after so many years?"

I don't want to talk about it. I just want to get rid of her.

Zhang Yifei looked at me and suddenly spoke with difficulty: "I heard about you. I'm sorry that he had an accident. I was in Europe at that time, and I cried when I heard the news. Although he didn't have much money at first, he was a good man. I know he doesn't like me at all, and thinks I have no connotation and am vain, but he is very kind to me and always takes care of me like a brother. The year with him was the happiest time in my life. "

I almost went crazy: "I don't know what you are talking about!" " "

"Zuo Zuo, it was my fault at first. I know you like him and want you to introduce me to him. I know that as long as I bring it up first, you can't tell him that you like him ... but now that he's gone, can't you forgive me? "

"Shut up!" I slapped Zhang Yifei in the face.

Zhang Yifei put the ring on the table and left. I picked it out myself, and now it doesn't make sense: no one will put it on me.

There are some things that you will never forget, even if you pretend to be someone else. When Wang came to report for duty in the afternoon, I thought this man was the one I was looking for, so I ran back and forth three times. I often change boyfriends to get Wang's attention. When I was about to explain to the king, I begged me to give him a letter. Of course I knew what it was. At the beginning, I thought I was going to graduate soon, and Wang was more beautiful than me at the same level, which was the most suitable; I know that after breaking up with Wang, I went back to school to attend the 70th anniversary celebration and "ran into" Wang. I know that he secretly resigned and opened a small shop with him before deciding his future ... We had such a happy three years, and all this was finally ruined by myself: I am such a person with no idea, and I like to make fun of him. How do I know that when I stand in the middle of the road and shout "Let's double suicide" for the first time10/,there will really be a car coming? How do I know that when he rushes to push me away, he will really fall down like in the movie and never wake up?

I can't believe he's never coming back. I don't know how I can live without him. Sounds so desperate. Finally, I thought of the only way: if I become him, then Han is the one who disappears, so I won't lose him. I wore his clothes, used his name, smoked his cigarettes, and went to his house to see his mother ... I almost carefully deceived myself, but self-righteous Zhang Yifei ruined all this.

It's raining harder and harder outside the window, Han. Why are you crying?