What jokes make you laugh until your stomach hurts?

Once upon a time, people in mountain villages lived a hard life depending on the weather. Men plow and women weave. They work at sunrise and rest at sunset. Day after day, year after year, I work on my own slope. Even when the farm is busy, my family will send me to eat in the fields, which is very boring.

Erxiao and his brother cut millet in the field for five days in a row. It's really boring Towards noon, Erxiao wanted his younger brother to tell some jokes to enliven his mood. My brother said, where did you get so many jokes all day? Tell me if you want a joke.

Erxiao: No.

Brother: Then get to work!

The second boy refused and said, how about we have a fight?

Brother: I live in harmony with my parents, brothers and sisters and relatives. Who can you scold?

Erxiao: Daughter-in-law and mother-in-law don't always get along. Just scold, daughter-in-law and mother-in-law

Brother: I am an uncle. How can I scold my brother and daughter-in-law? You talk nonsense!

The second primary school began to scold regardless of the willy-nilly: by your mother-in-law … by your mother-in-law … and kept scolding.

My brother is angry and cruel, and he can't stand it. He cursed him with the same dirty words.

At that time, you came and went, and the abuse intensified. Just then, the second daughter-in-law brought food to the farm. At first, she didn't hear clearly. At first, she thought it was a quarrel between two brothers. After listening carefully again and again, her face was flushed with pain and trembling with anger. The original food was taken home and thrown into the pigsty, crying and running back to his room.

Seeing this, my sister-in-law was shocked and asked for details frequently. After listening to her sister-in-law telling her what she saw and heard, she suppressed her anger and comforted, Sister-in-law, calm down first and see how I can teach you bastards a lesson! Then, strode to the door ...

Seeing that noon had passed, the two brothers were thirsty and tired. Why didn't their family send food up the mountain? Just then, the second primary school saw my sister-in-law running to the mountain. Why don't they mention the rice jar? What's the matter?

I was wondering that my sister-in-law had walked in front of them.

"After noon zha didn't come! "What kind of meal?

Sister-in-law: "I won't deliver food today." My brother-in-law and his brother are here. Let's all go home. "

Brother: "I am very busy today. What is brother-in-law doing in our house? "

Sister-in-law: "He said he came to take refuge in his brother's mother-in-law or something, but I didn't understand."

Hearing this, the two brothers first froze and then looked at each other. ...

Qin came out of the bathhouse singing and dancing, and the women workers turned their heads and ran away in shame.

The company's security chief is Lao Qin, who was in his fifties.

Old Qin is tall and stocky. He is usually very serious, and everyone looks like a vigilant bad guy.

People are in awe of Qin.

This is the first day of the dog days. There was no air conditioning in those days, and the hot weather made people sweat and turn on the electric fan. In the afternoon, the weather is very hot. Qin stayed up until 4: 30 when the company bathhouse opened. He took a towel and soap and ran to the bathhouse.

The bathhouse is crowded with people, and three or four people use a shower. Qin was squeezed into a nozzle and rushed up. Everyone else was embarrassed to grab the shower nozzle with Qin, so he went down the slope and took a bath by himself.

Qin took a good bath, went to the outer room, dried himself, combed his big head in front of the mirror, and looked at himself very satisfied in the mirror.

Sweat is easy to wash off, and I am proud to look at my honor. Qin put a towel on his shoulder and a soap box in his right hand, and quickly walked out of the bathhouse.

Everyone was in a good mood. Qin sang Guo Jianguang's aria in the Beijing opera Shajiabang.

Sunglow, reflected on Yangcheng Lake.

Several women workers coming across the basketball court saw Qin twist his head and run back, which made Qin wonder.

Seeing manager Chen coming out of the office building, he also took a towel to take a shower. Qin Chang can quickly greet him.

Just call out a word "Chen", will see manager Chen with a serious face, harsh voice shouted:

What are you doing running around naked?

Qin didn't react until he visited the beauty and ran out of the bathhouse without clothes on. He flushed with shame and turned to run to the bathhouse.

For a long time, Qin Kechang was embarrassed to see everyone.

There are pictures but no pictures.

1 I went to my girlfriend's house to play and found a diary on the table, so I picked it up and looked at it. The first page says: I ate a cake. The second page says: I ate an ice cream. On the third page, it says: I ate a hamburger. Seeing this, I can't help boasting: "You also wrote down all your food. Life is really careful." Then I continued reading, and when I saw the seventh page, I wrote: I ate so much this morning.

Today, I went to the driving school to practice driving and met a duck crossing the road. The coach asked the driver, "What should I do in this situation?" The student replied, "Before you get your driver's license, slow down and downshift to avoid ducks." The coach said, "After you get your driver's license?" Student: "Run it over, pick it up, take it back, barbecue!" " "

Walking around Sanlitun with my buddies, I saw a vendor selling sweet potatoes, one from 20 yuan. I went in to have a look and saw the sweet potatoes in the box. I blurted out, "Those small sweet potatoes are all used to feed pigs in our village." The faces of the people waiting in line in that room and the boss.

The company's finance is a beauty. Yesterday, she paid me a salary and transferred me five dollars. So a new opportunity came, and I told her honestly and gave her five dollars. Because of this little trick. She worked an all-night shift and made a new account, but she still ignored me.

As soon as I got on the train, a man shouted at me that I was standing in the wrong position. But after a period of stalemate, I looked at his ticket and I gave in. So the train ran a long way, and I told him that you got on the wrong train. I think such a person without quality should be taught such a severe lesson. He turned pale in an instant and asked the person next to him. It turned out that I took the wrong bus.

My sister-in-law is losing weight, and my brother has been monitoring her diet. In the morning, I heard him yelling at his sister-in-law at work: "Just buy breakfast at the bottom of the building, and only one pancake fruit is allowed." Soon he came back from the window and said gloomily, "There's another word missing. She scattered twelve eggs for a pancake fruit."

7 Seeing someone else's daughter cute on the Internet, you said you had a daughter, and seeing someone else's pet cute, you said you did. Speaking of myself, children become Xiong Haizi and pets become demolition teams. This is the gap between ideal and reality.

8 female: "Let's break up" rich second generation: "Why?" Female: "Because of your family" Rich second generation: "I just took you to see my dad yesterday, and he said he likes you very much" Female: "Yes, not only your dad likes me very much, but I also like your dad very much"

9 Bai Jiaohua Jianfa. Xiao Gu asked curiously, "Master, why did you put two fingers in front of the imperial sword? Is it to control the mana flight? " Zi Hua said seriously, "No, I'm in second gear ..."

April Fool's Day 10, I called my boss at the first time: "Boss, I quit." Boss: "I'll settle my salary after I come to finance." Boss: "Happy April Fool's Day." Boss: "I am not April Fool's Day. You'd better settle your salary. " What should I do? Who can help me? Emergency, online, etc.

1, people don't call people, they call them-Yin.

2, I don't call me, I call-Ping.

3. Young people are not called young people, but called little P children.

Cockroaches are not called cockroaches, they are called Xiao Qiang.

5. What do you mean? What do you mean-shrimp?

6. Don't, don't call it, call it-watch.

7. Like is not like, but porridge.

8, this is not called this, this is called-sauce purple.

9, good applause, called-strong.

10, strong but not strong, called-although bow.

1 1, bitten by countless mosquitoes is not called bitten by countless mosquitoes, but called-~ ~ ~ ~ new mosquitoes even bang ~ ~

12, chasing women is not chasing women, it's called-soaking mm.

13, seeing beauty is not called seeing beauty-identification.

14, beautiful is not beautiful, but beautiful.

15, eating and drinking is not eating and drinking, but corruption.

16, inviting people to dinner is not a treat, it is anti-corruption.

Reward the anchor with the money saved by eating instant noodles, and then watch the anchor eat lobster! exchange ...

There is nothing wrong with the first old iron

Double click 666 for the second time

What funny things do you have to send out to make everyone happy?