Interesting baby quotes

1, one day Xiao Ming's phone rang. Xiao Ming immediately picked up the phone and said, "Hello, this is a telephone message. Please leave a message after the beep. " There was no response on the phone for half a day. Xiao Ming said angrily, "I'm Du, why don't you talk!" "

2. Mom: "The baby is four years old, you can sleep by yourself." Child: "Dad is so old, why don't you sleep by yourself?"

When a child has to choose to do what he can't do, he has to be responsible for his choice and behavior. Parents must abide by it with their children, so as to help them form good habits from an early age.

4. The son coquetry asked his mother: "Mom, do you love me very much?" The mother looked at her son lovingly: "Of course I do!" " The son asked again, "In that case, why don't you divorce your father and marry the owner of that candy store?"

When Lele was almost two years old, she went for a walk with her father after dinner. As soon as I went out, I said to my father, "Dad, I'm going to criticize you!" " "

6. Adults tease children and generally don't say "xxx, smile, smile." After a long time, Shuai Shuai also learned. Once, I went back to my hometown to visit my relatives. The little guy was very excited to see someone else's sheep. He has never seen a real sheep before, only on TV or in books. Shouting: "Little goat, little goat! ! ! Smile, smile! "

7. The daughter asked her husband, "Dad, why is it called the highway instead of the mother road?" The husband replied: "Building roads is manual work, which is done by men, so it can only be called roads!" " "The wife said unhappily," Expressway refers to a public road that everyone can use. "The daughter asked thoughtfully," is that husband a man that everyone can share? "

8. I go out to school occasionally, go back once a semester, and go to my sister's house for the first time after I go back. My little niece just took a nap and didn't call me anything when she saw me. The whole family said, "My uncle is closest to you. Please call me." The little guy pretended not to hear, but didn't scream. So I discussed with them and pretended to ignore her. Everyone was chatting and no one asked her. After a while, the little guy came and pulled my clothes and said, "Uncle." I pretended to be angry: "You didn't call me just now. It's very late now." She looked aggrieved and said, "Uncle, I didn't wake up just now and didn't recognize you." I fainted on the spot. ...

9. My niece is almost two years old. One day, she wanted a runny nose. She shouted at my sister: mom, mom, my nose is going to vomit!

10, son: "Dad, are you free on Friday afternoon?" Dad: "What is it?" Son: "The school will open a micro-parent forum!" "Dad:" What is a micro-parent forum? "Son:" Just the head teacher, you and me! " "

1 1, my little nephew is 4 years old. I often say "eng" when my nephew can't hear clearly and always says "eng". As a result, one day when I was watching TV, my little nephew was lying on the sofa muttering to me, and I "eng". He said angrily, "Inge, you are a big man." Then I laughed so hard that all the adults in my family laughed so hard that they even said I deserved it. ...

12, pregnant with a second child, the boss asked, mom, do you have a toilet in your stomach? I said, how can you put a toilet in your stomach? She immediately said with a look of disgust: My God, did that brother shit and pee in your stomach?

13, son is less than 3 years old. Once I held him in front of the computer and saw a cute puppy jump from left to right on the screen, but disappeared at the far right. The boy really jumped off the chair and went to the monitor to look for the puppy ... Staring at his big eyes, he asked me with a puzzled face, "Where's the dog?"

14, mom asked DuDu to help dry clothes, and DuDu just watched a group of ants moving bugs in the yard. His mother taught him, "Look how hardworking ants are and never waste time playing." DuDu said unconvinced, "But every time I travel, I always meet them."

15, one person is half, and it is a partner; One bite is a couple. Companionship is: every day there are half the delicious people, you bite me; Slowly become a pair of happy fat papers.

16, my colleague's daughter is less than three years old. One day, my colleague woke up from a nap and found that all the children around him were gone. As soon as she turned around, she saw the little thing sitting in front of the dresser, wiping her face with cosmetics, turning a red lip and smiling at his mother's teeth, saying, "Do you think I'm as white as milk?"

17, Teacher An's boyfriend came to see Teacher An in kindergarten today. When the children saw someone coming, they all ran to show their kindness and shouted, "Teacher, teacher, your father is coming to pick you up!" " The teachers fainted.

18, child: "Dad, what kind of cigarette is this?" Dad: "Remember, smoke is a chimney." Child: "Oh, I see! Why is dad's nose not called' chimney'? "

19, raindrop is only two and a half years old, and she is a child in a small kindergarten class. On this day, the students in the small class played games, and the teacher poured a basket of building blocks on the table to let the children play freely. I saw raindrops lined up blocks in front of me, then pushed forward and shouted, "I'm safe!" " "

20. My two-year-old daughter went back to her grandmother's house. There was no toilet, so I pulled her in the yard. As soon as she pulls it out, the dog will add it. So the daughter asked her mother, what is this dog doing? I replied, eating Baba. Mom, let the dog save some for me. ...

2 1. My son is playing with a car alone in the living room, and my mother is taking a bath in the bathroom. My son played for a while, ran to the bathroom, opened the shower curtain and said to his mother, "Mom, my car is broken, please help me repair it." "ok." The son walked out of the bathroom, and within a few seconds, he came back to open the shower curtain and asked strangely, "Mom, where is your little JJ?"

22. The history teacher said: The order of the Qin Dynasty to unify the six countries can be recorded as "Calling Zhao Wei to move!" (Zhao Hanyan is full of shame ... talent!

23. A child who likes small classes very much kept teasing him and asked him, "What's mom's name?" She was so angry that she finally spat out her name. "So, what's dad's name?" I saw him in high spirits and said two words unequivocally: "husband!" "

24. The father was very dissatisfied with his son's attitude and scolded, "How can you talk to your father in a commanding tone?" Unexpectedly, my son has no remorse at all. Not to be outdone, he said, "Didn't you say yourself that you and your mother got married on my orders?"

25. When my little cousin was very young, I once took him as a guest. When he saw a little girl at the next table, he went up to talk to her. The little girl ignored him and sang "Sister goes by boat, brother goes ashore". A table of people almost quarreled.

26. Once, a father asked his children who was in charge of the family. "Dad, he is the head of the family." After mom knew it, she also asked him, "Who's in charge at home? Good point, buy you candy. " The child said, "it's mom, it's mom." "Didn't you say that dad is the head of the family?" "But mom is the neck of the family, and the neck turns her head in that direction ..."

27. I have a friend of 14 years old with a small basin. His mother's friend is pregnant and her stomach is dripping heavily. The friend was very angry and asked, "Aunt, what's in your belly?" Aunt missed Doby and said, "This is a little monster!" Just after that, Xiao's friend punched his aunt in the stomach and said calmly, "Aunt, is it dead?"

28, one day, I saw a pair of twins, super cute, but I can't tell the size. So he asked, "Who is older and who is younger?" The girl said mysteriously, "Guess who is our brother and sister!" " ! "

29. One day, my daughter, who was less than four years old, suddenly said while playing by herself: I am a beautiful woman ... everyone around me is full of laughter.

Mother: Dear daughter, take a hot bath and go to bed. Daughter: No way. There is an exam tomorrow, so I can't wash it tonight. Mother: What does bathing have to do with exams? Daughter: It's so important. My arms and calves are the answers.

3 1, the youngest son always refuses to sit down for dinner. Mother asked strangely; "What's wrong with you today? Why eat standing up? " Son: "Today, in Chinese class, the teacher said,' Sit on your laurels ...'"

32. Young hot mom took her three-year-old son by bus. Hot mom holds her son in her lap, and her son has his back to hot mom. It was quiet all the way. After a long time, the son suddenly turned his head and asked loudly, "Mom, can I ask you a question?" Hot mom: "Ask." The son said, "What have you been doing with your hand on my penis?" ! I put up with it for a long time! "

33. My little nephew liked sleeping very much when he was a child. He slept until the sun shone on his face. Poor shout: Turn off the lights! Turn off the lights! After telling him it was the sun, he shouted impatiently, Turn off the sun!

34. One of her colleagues has a 6-year-old daughter who has started to change her teeth. Her mother took her back to work after her tooth was pulled out. My mother asked her, "Does your tooth still hurt?" The little girl's answer made everyone around her laugh: "Oh, I left my tooth in the hospital. I don't know if it hurts. "

35. What's the use of a human nose? Without a nose, you can't smell food. It tastes strange. The child said: without a nose, there is no place to live with a hairy nose. You can't sell perfume without a nose.

36. Once my nephew went to a restaurant for dinner, the waiter thought he was cute and joked with him, "Little brother, when you grow up, shall I marry you?" Who knows that boy said solemnly: "No, your boyfriend is going to be jealous, be afraid!" " "alas! ! ! He was only three and a half years old then.

37. My daughter is three years old. Many people like her because she is beautiful. She has always been called Little Beauty and Little Princess. She also enjoys this kind of treatment. She often says to herself, "Alas, the sun is so big that it has tanned me, which is not beautiful. What should I do? " I couldn't help laughing after listening. She looked at me angrily: "What are you laughing at? Haven't you ever seen a beautiful woman worry? " ? ! "I ...

38. My colleague will go to kidney calculi and rest at home. His little nephew asked kidney calculi what it was, and he said that a stone came out when he peed. His little nephew said anxiously, "Uncle, when you pee, you must spread your feet apart, and be careful not to hit your feet!" "

39. One day, I saw a pair of twins, very cute, but I couldn't tell the size, so I asked: Who is the older and who is the younger? The girl said mysteriously, guess who is our brother and sister!

40. When my son was 4 years old, he saw a frog jump, so he learned to jump like this frog. After a few jumps, he stood up and said, I am so tired! It's hard to be a frog. You have to dance like this every day.

4 1. He came back from his cousin's wedding the other day and said to us, "Mom, I want to get married, too!" People asked him, who do you want to marry? "Fruit fruit! Then he picked up the phone and muttered a few words: "She has agreed! " "

42. My colleague has a five-year-old daughter. There were many tourists during the Spring Festival last year. Colleagues are busy, so his wife brought a group and left her daughter with relatives. One day we called, and he asked his daughter, do you miss dad? His daughter said, I am watching TV. Don't bother. I will come back to see you when I am free. I sprayed coke on the phone.

43. Zaizai was repaired by his father. He ran to his mother to complain: Mom, what would you do if someone hit your son? Mom: I will avenge his son.

44. A child who likes small classes very much kept teasing him and asked him: What's mother's name? She was so angry that she finally spat out her name. So, what's dad's name? I saw him in high spirits and said two words unequivocally: husband!

45. Take friends' children out to play. The little boy is only 10 years old. On the way, he forced me to buy a snow. I thought he would eat one and I would eat the other. Unexpectedly, after he got the snow, he ran to the front and gave it to a little girl in front. When he came back, he told me that the little girl was beautiful and dizzy.

46. When I saw yogurt in the supermarket, I took a few bottles at random. Anyway, he likes to drink it, so I heard him say, Mom, too much. If you don't eat so much, you will get sick. (I just need one bottle to raise my index finger, and one bottle is enough!

47. My sister's child, once my aunt asked him, "Is the big one better or the small one?" He said, "The big one is good." Then he asked, "Are you a big bad guy or a little bad guy when you grow up?" Answer: "Be a big bad guy." Laugh often.

48. When my son was less than 18 years old, I once sat in front of the computer with him in my arms and saw a cute puppy jumping from left to right on the screen, and it disappeared on the far right. The boy really jumped off the chair and went to the monitor to look for the puppy ... Staring at his big eyes, he asked me with a puzzled face, "Where's the dog?"

49. One day, my niece, her grandfather, played with her and came to hold her hand. She pushed it away and said, "Boys and girls can't hold hands, or boyfriend and girlfriend will stick together." The whole family ft, so I asked her, "then your father can't hold hands?" She said seriously: "Dad is dad, it's different." After a while, her grandparents said they would go shopping, and she clamored to go. Grandpa said, "If you don't hold hands with me, I won't take you out in the future." The little guy rolled his eyes and said, "Grandpa, in fact, I'm just joking with you ..."

50. My sister came to my house to play. I think she is long-winded, and I perfunctory all her questions. So she suddenly looked at me calmly and said, Sister, we are sisters ... I almost didn't throw up. ...

5 1, one day when I was eating out, I met a chubby little sister, estimated to be years old. I walked past my son and heard him say in a very standard Shanghai dialect: Gapang, it's the governor!

When my cousin was six years old, she ate ice cream as soon as summer came. On a rainy day, the temperature was lower than usual. She ate four ice creams and wanted more. Aunt said: Wait until it's hot, okay? Cousin nodded and said yes. 10 minutes later, I ran over and said it was very hot. When I saw it, I was really sweating. I asked why, and my cousin said that I mopped the floor.

53. The child just started to read. Grandpa asked him, what is the word below a very wide place? Little boy: Bed. How about putting two pieces of wood under the wide floor? Little boy: ... (thinking) ... double bed ...

54, shopping, a middle-aged aunt (well, a little old) came to say hello to the rice cake. The child has always been sweet, so I taught him to "call aunt, baby". The rice cake tilted for a while, thoughtfully, and then firmly and clearly shouted "grandma!" " "Xiong Haizi, you are so sincere, it is too difficult for your mother to be a person. Did you succeed? ...

When my cousin was six years old, she ate ice cream as soon as summer came. On a rainy day, the temperature was lower than usual. She ate four ice creams and wanted more. Aunt said, "Wait until it's hot, okay?" Cousin nodded and said yes. 10 minutes later, I ran over and said it was very hot. When I saw it, I was really sweating. I asked why, and my cousin said, "I mopped the floor."

56. Three children discuss The Journey to the West together. Answer: "Who do you think is the best among the four great monks in the Tang Dynasty?" B: "the Monkey King, of course!" C: "I think Tang Priest is the best." Answer: "No matter how powerful the Tang Priest is, he is only a monkey-playing."

57. Take friends' children out to play. The little boy is only 3 years old. On the way, he forced me to buy two cups of He Luxue. I thought he would eat one and I would eat the other. Unexpectedly, after he got the snow in He Lu, he ran to the front and gave it to a little girl in front. He came back and told me that the little girl was dizzy with beauty.

58. My colleague's daughter is a little beauty embryo. When she comes back from kindergarten, her mother often asks her, "Beauty, did anyone call you that today?" The little girl sighed: "I guess they see me too much, so they think I'm not beautiful."

59. My son is two years old. I travel a lot. My son is very close to his mother. His mother was very good when she taught him, with her head down: right, right. If I correct him, I will stare: nonsense! Ah, failure.

One day I went to the supermarket, and there was a huge advertising picture on the wall, which showed an artist holding a tennis racket. The baby exclaimed: Wow, what a big fly swatter!

6 1, Xiao Duo went to the street with her mother, and as a result, her mother lost her baby. Xiaoduo cried and asked her uncle and aunt in the street, "Have you seen my mother? There is a little fat man around my mother! "

62. My husband and I sleep under the covers. When my daughter was in the third grade, my husband and I were lying in bed watching TV. My daughter came in and took a look at us and said, no wonder you gave birth to a child. You don't understand physiology. You should sleep in the quilt. At that time, my husband and I were too surprised to know what to say.

63. Mother: "Why do you eat pears in front of the mirror?" Daughter: "Can't you eat two pears like this?"

64. A friend's son, three years old, once went to her house with a group of friends. A girl is sitting on the sofa in shorts. He went over and sat next to her, put his hand on her aunt's lap and said, "I just like women's big white legs." Cold!