Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - The Story of a Monster My name is Charizard
The Story of a Monster My name is Charizard
---------Preliminary introduction to Chapter 1---------
My name is Charizard, male, fire attribute dragon clan, age record I can't stand it anymore, my style is decent, my only problem is that I am a pretty girl, I am handsome, this can be seen from the fact that my little brother Fire Boar runs away in tears every time he sees me because of his low self-esteem. He has a bright eye and is very capable of discharging electricity. Good at barbecue, a little afraid of the cold.
I have a younger brother, Fire Boar, who is also a fire type and can capture newcomers below level 20. He looks simple and honest, but is actually quite handsome. Today, when pork prices are skyrocketing, his net worth has doubled. His dark skin is his greatest advantage--no matter how shameful he does, he can't be seen blushing. In fact, there was nothing excessive, he just had a crush on the beauty Ai Wen from the jungle. One day, his courage doubled, and he stepped forward to confess his love. However, he failed to pursue her, scared the beauty away, and left one shoe behind~ He tried all four feet but couldn't fit them in. I had to treasure it sadly. Unexpectedly, in this world, a cake kissed by a beautiful woman can be sold for two yuan more, and the shoes worn by a beautiful woman are even more incredible. Ai Wen was angry and offered a reward to capture his younger brother. Those human boys chased him one by one, so he had no choice but to hide inside and hid here with me.
You are not mistaken. I'm telling myself. I have told you so much about my little brother. In fact, it's just to show that I have a decent style. Such a simple and honest brother actually received a heavy beating from me a while ago. It’s not unfair to say that it’s unfair. I just woke up from my nap that day and saw the human race using loudspeakers with pink and red letters to shout to the whole world. I've seen this kind of shouting a lot, and it's basically about human beings eating, drinking, having sex, getting married, getting married, scolding each other, but that day was about the little brother. He said: "So-and-so, you were fucked by a fire boar!!" This is not bad! I am a famous fire element sect in MapleStory, how could I behave in such an immoral manner! I was so angry that I slapped my little brother in the face, red and black. His fleshy face was completely blackened by the slap, and he cried and said that this was absolutely not the case. I said that humans have wronged you for what you did!? He burst into tears and disappeared, and the case was closed. We have a famous saying in the monster community: "If a younger brother doesn't teach him, it's his fault and a beating is not a fault." This makes sense.
From this you can see how responsible and good a brother I am. But facing such a good brother like me, my younger brother is actually very stingy. He has a very beautiful maple leaf sword, which is so precious that he won’t give it to him even if he wants to see it. He said it was his soul and he would die if he took it out. Tsk! If you are stingy, you are stingy. If you are resurrected, who doesn’t have a soul!? My soul is much more advanced than yours! My soul is called Qian Biao. When Boss Zha handed it to me, he repeatedly told me that there are three marks on it. , is not only the pillar of the soul, but also the magical weapon that countless people yearn for. It must not be taken out easily. You can lose one of them, you can lose two of them, but if you lose all three, you will go to see God. Do you see? I have such a good soul, how could I be greedy for you? If you take it out and see, you will die!? How do you know you will die if you don’t take it out!? It’s really sad!
What? Do you doubt my IQ? Are you kidding? My IQ is at least higher than that of humans! Don’t you believe it? Let me tell you quietly that I have an absolute advantage over humans. I can understand human language, but they can’t. mine. They thought monsters couldn’t speak! What a joke~ Do I know about the little calculations of human beings?
The warrior tribe, the yellow sand blocks the sun, the smoke is everywhere, the endless stretch and vastness, say no Completely rich and majestic; in the depths of this ancient village, there are mysterious totems and bones all over the ground - some of them are human, and some of the same kind. My brother and I will guard here. Oh, and Brother Tulong, Brother Tulong is quite good, but he is not as handsome as me, and his face is not very good. He always seems to have diarrhea. My life was quite pleasant, but some unscrupulous person spread the word about my financial goals, which caused some so-called human beings to come to me every now and then to cause trouble for me. The mission of me and several brothers is to set up barriers, release clones, and deal with the human race. Look at that boy archer, how old is he who dares to shoot my clone with a small arrow? He deserves to be sprayed back to the village; look at that boy mage, he actually competes with me in barbecue skills? Just light the fire and save it for your wife. Let’s have dinner!
---------Chapter 2: Soft-hearted---------
Under normal circumstances, the human race cannot take advantage of us. How cheap is it.
The human race has a strict hierarchical enfeoffment system.
Those humans who are proficient in magic and powerful are concentrated in distant continents to fight against more powerful monsters. The land under my feet only gave birth to their childhood. They grew up from here, started fighting from here, some died and some survived. The powerful human race that survived embarked on a more distant journey, never to return.
So those who harass us are usually young boys. I am a very kind-hearted dragon, and I don't have the heart to attack children, so as long as they don't go too far, I usually just scare them, and I won't kill them -- although this has been criticized. Boss Zha has scolded me many times. I know that when they grow up, they will threaten the safety of my brothers. I also know that they are constantly expanding the land. In every sense, they are enemies; but when I see those young faces, it is inevitable that they will Show mercy. I always feel that one day humans and demons may be able to live in harmony.
So when they got tired of the harassment and disturbed the uncle from taking a nap, the uncle would throw one or two pieces of rags and small shoes to them. They would be excited, sigh, or proud. Or disappointed, and then without exception, they picked it up and left with a thought in their mouths. You see, the human race is very greedy, and they still complain about things given to them; the human race is also very easy to be satisfied, and the uncle's rags can make them feel like treasures.
In such an army of harassers, she is quite inconspicuous. Completely unskilled magic, childish formations, and painless attacks on the uncle's clones caused her to be injured and returned to the village several times.
But she comes every day.
As long as she can stand up and use magic, she will come. Although it was so difficult to deal with all my clones, and sometimes she could only defeat a few of my clones after a busy day, she still kept attacking. Hey hey! Miss, do you have such a big grudge against me?! So after being harassed by such substandard attacks for half a month, I finally couldn't stand it anymore and threw her a piece of fine fabric. clothing. Let's go, let's go~~~If you don't give it away, don't give it away~~~~
Her eyes brightened instantly, but immediately dimmed after seeing the "trophy" clearly. "It's not a money mark"
What!? Oh my! This girl, do you know that it is a miracle to get anything from me with your strength! The uncle gave you a charity You're not satisfied with a pretty good piece of clothing? You want my Horcrux? I'm dreaming! It's so greedy, so abominable! This time I didn't hold back, I sprayed her into serious injuries, and she was rescued. village.
A week later, she came again. This time she didn't attack me desperately. Instead, I sat on a safe rocky ground and stared at my clone in trance. I was so stared at by her... Oh, I know I'm handsome! Then you don't have to look at me like this! Well? Don't cry! What I'm most afraid of is that the child will cry. Last time she was so seriously injured, she didn't even She frowned, why did she cry this time? She wiped her tears and said: "Hey, Charizard, I know you can't understand me, but I really can't tell others that I don't have any friends. Xiaoxia is the only one." I'm happy for people who treat me well. Anyway, it's his birthday next week. I've always wanted to give him a precious gift. He practices concealed weapons. I heard you have a money sign but I don't have much money. I really want to buy it. I can't afford it, so I came to you a month in advance, hoping to get one for him through hunting. But seeing that his birthday is coming soon, I, I"
The uncle became a little soft-hearted. The uncle also has a younger brother, so he understands her feelings to some extent. But this thing is my Horcrux, and it is also very important to me. It is no more than those clothes and pants that I can get as much or as little as I want. I cannot just give them to me.
"I know you can't understand what I'm saying. I'm sorry for being so wordy. Although everyone says you are a monster and our enemy, there has never been any human death from you. You must not want to kill us, right? I think you are a good person. You are a good dragon. Thank you for that dress. If you don’t understand, forget it. I’m sorry to bother you.”
Wait a minute !You don’t understand, sir!!! Horcruxes? Anyway, I have three! I’ll give you one!!
I inadvertently took out one and asked my clone to throw it to she.
Don’t get me wrong! I don’t sympathize with the human race! I just, just, don’t want to make a woman cry! Yes, a gentleman like you can’t make a girl cry!! I told you I don’t sympathize with you, why are you giggling at me! Hey, are you not so excited? Why did you fall while running and jumping
---------Chapter 3 Greed---------
The news that the incompetent woman took the treasure from the uncle caused an uproar among the human race.
The number of people who come to harass us brothers has exploded every day. I haven’t been able to take a good nap for a long time. Moreover, the group of boys who used to catch my little brother and avenge the beautiful woman are now all coming for me. Tell me what is going on! So, being kind occasionally is not a good thing. But the uncle is a principled dragon. No matter how much you lament, no matter how hard you work, or how crazy you are, the Horcrux cannot be given to you~~Last time, it was just the uncle’s mistake! Well, that’s right.
But what shocked me even more was yet to come. She actually came again! At that moment, I almost couldn’t believe my eyes!!
She couldn’t see any happiness at all. Expression, frowning, just attacking my clone slowly. The magic has improved to some extent, but it's still young. Not only was I surprised, her appearance also caused a slight shock among the human race:
“That’s the little girl who got the money mark!”
“No way? Just her. !"
"But maybe with good luck, I can get one this time?"
".."
These remarks made her blush slightly One red. There was no excuse or answer, she just lowered her head and continued to attack my clone with great difficulty.
I have despaired of the human race! I have given her the most precious Horcrux and she is still not satisfied!? I thought she was a kind woman before, but I must have made a mistake! I have never seen her. So greedy! So the uncle created a lot of clones and turned around and ignored her. The Tulong brothers, who were both responsible for guarding this place and were obviously tired and slim recently, glanced at me sideways and sighed heavily. I'm so angry! I'm so angry. Almost to vent my anger, my attack was particularly fierce that day, so at night, the hunting humans almost disappeared. Some walked away, some fled. In the empty valley, people could gradually be counted clearly, 10 Three, three, two and she still didn't leave. In the quiet night, she was the only one left on this empty rock road. I became more and more lazy to pay attention to her, so I conjured up a sufficient number of clones and prepared to go to bed.
"Xiaoxia, he said he wants to marry me!" The moment I turned around, an excited but trembling voice sounded behind me. I turned around and saw her raising her head, her bright eyes Her eyes were shining brightly in the night.
"You...probably don't remember me anymore...If you still remember me, you will definitely think that I am a greedy woman. But, Xiaoxia, He said he wanted to marry me, but we were both poor. He said, if I could get another money token, he would marry me. He said it was for my own good. If he had a few noble weapons, he could protect me. He said It's not okay for him to come. I'm the only one who has received money tokens from you, so I'm sorry, I'm really sorry, and I don't want to attack you. I also know that I'm selfish, but... he is the only person I love... I... .I think... I'm sorry... I forgot that you don't understand, but why do I always feel that you can understand what I'm thinking... Otherwise, I have no reason to be so lucky. I'm really sorry."
Don't cry all the time! Forgive me, little ancestor! I raised my head helplessly and looked at the narrow sky above the canyon. Suddenly I didn't understand the world I had lived in for thousands of years. If I gave her another one Horcrux, then I have no way out. Huh? How could I have the idea of ??giving her another one? It seems a little abnormal for me, uncle, haha...
---------Chapter 4 Foolish Love- --------
The old man who lost two Horcruxes became a laughing stock in the monster world. Not to mention that the stone man with green mold on his head rolled his eyes at me during the meeting last week. My eldest brother Hong Feilong also refused to write to me. Even my little fire pig brother, when he saw me He was also humming and chirping, and the awe he had before was gone from his eyes.
Those who knew the truth regarded me as a traitor, while those who didn’t know probably thought I had lost miserably! This once again confirmed to me that kindness is not a good thing.
But the uncle did not regret it. I took this out myself. You are responsible for the decisions you make. You can say whatever you like, but I will never hand over this last Horcrux.
The only good thing is that there are far fewer humans harassing me than last time. The reason is that my Tulong brother finally couldn't bear it anymore and killed several human beings a few days ago. I felt very uncomfortable and could only look at him blankly. He did not look back, but said softly: "Since you are unwilling to make a heavy move, then I will do it." I felt sour for a moment, as one of the dragons on the surface. First of all, I need my sympathy, I am too worthless, but Brother Tulong, thank you
After a few months of hanging around like this, dealing with each other, teasing, sleeping... When I gradually forgot everything When it happened, she appeared again. It was a bloody dusk, and she became a lost ghost, stumbling in front of me, lost and lost. Those bright eyes that once deeply attracted me have disappeared. In just a few months, she has aged a lot and lost Bloody face, gloomy eyes, tattered skirt... She bit her dry and purple lips tightly and stood in front of my clone for a long time. Finally, with the blood dripping from the corner of her mouth, she opened her mouth. The magic circle, which still showed little improvement, launched an attack on me.
"The first two times were just coincidences." Her eyes had become crazy.
"You are a monster and an enemy, so it doesn't matter if I attack you, right?" She looked at me in horror, her twisted face blurred by tears.
"Hey! You are talking! I know you can actually understand it, right?! You are talking! Am I ugly like this!?" She cried to me.
I couldn't speak, but I couldn't move either. Just when I froze, someone attacked beside me, paddling against the wind, and dodged to the opposite side.
"Pa!" The Tulong brothers did not hesitate and struck hard. A deep gash immediately appeared on her arm.
"Stop!" I held Tulong.
"If you save her, you will die." He stared at me coldly, but the anger in his eyes was almost Burn me.
"I'm not that stupid." I growled lowly.
"Not that stupid? Brother, without her, you wouldn't be where you are today. She is a human, and you and I are demons. When has she come to you, not for a human man? She If I have you in my heart, you will never appear again." I have known Tulong for a long time, and I have never seen him like this. Such determination and anger.
"I know...I understand. ..But...even so...what I did before was all voluntary, and she did nothing wrong and doesn't deserve to die!" I was also a little angry.
"Big Brother" Tulong lowered his head, "I have always respected you. You are upright, kind, strong, and have always cared about us. But if I turn around and leave today, I may lose me forever." The most important big brother."
"I'm not an idiot!" I was touched, but still feigned anger, "I know what a Horcrux is and how important it is, but if I let you slap me If I beat her to death, then everything I did before was not all idiotic behavior?"
Tulong lowered his head and said nothing...Brother, I'm sorry...
" You go out first, and I'll see what else she has to say...I...I won't call you...don't come in yet..."
I knew I was wrong, so I spoke hesitantly. , Tsk! I have no regrets, it’s really not like me to be like this!! I understand that Tulong is doing it for my own good, but I can’t ignore her, let alone let her die like this. I want to know what happened She made it look like this.
Brother Tulong looked at me deeply, and spoke softly: "Brother, haven't you always been looking forward to the harmonious coexistence of humans and demons? Until that day comes. , you can't..." After saying that, he turned around and went out.
I looked at his leaving back and felt a little sad. There was a hint of choking in his tone. Maybe it was my misunderstanding, because he had never shed tears.
I watched as I watched him leave. After Long's back disappeared, he lowered his head and looked at her. "It's all your fault." She lay on the ground with tears streaming down her face. "It would be better if you didn't give me hope at the beginning. If you didn't give me anything at the beginning, We wouldn't have started and we wouldn't be where we are today." She cried and looked at my face, "Now, tell me, what should I do? Xiaoxia doesn't want me anymore. I only have one lover like him. Without him, I can't live. I said it's impossible, you already gave me two more money tokens, but he changed his face and asked me to bring another money token, and I can't attack you anymore. Fire Dragon said that I don't love him at all. What should I do? I have almost given up my heart to him. I also think this is not good, but I can't help it." She lay on the ground, sobbing. "You shouldn't have helped me fool humans in the first place. Is it so fun?"
Ha! Humans, what stupid creatures. At this moment, I began to feel that being able to understand human language was not a good thing. If I don't understand, she is just an enemy invading us with very poor skills, and I can kill her in an instant. If I don't understand, I won't know her stupid stories, and I won't lose important Horcruxes again and again. If I didn't understand, I wouldn't have made my brother who has been following me choke up when he turned around... But in this world, there is no possibility. I raised my head again and stared at the narrow sky above the canyon. The setting sun has completely set, and the sky has lost its blood color... heavy, like slender and deep eyes, watching me quietly. The canyon is very quiet. I can only hear her low sobs and her own breathing, and maybe... Brother Tulong's sigh in the distance...
Are humans stupid? Maybe, but The demons may be even stupider. I really want to tell her that my Horcrux cannot save her so-called love; I really want to tell her that a man who loves him will not ask for her again and again; I really want to ask her, if I As a human being, would she choose me? I really wanted to ask her, if she knew that I lost this money sign and would disappear forever, would she still want it... But I opened my mouth, He made a sound, but it didn't win her head up... because she... couldn't understand...
My name is Charizard, with the sky as my spine and the earth as my belly; my name is Charizard, This rolling yellow dust is my blood, this scorching flame is my soul; my name is the fire-breathing dragon. Even though the world has undergone tremendous changes, I will always guard this vast and desolate land. I can’t remember how many years have passed. I can’t remember. There was so much glitz and glamour, but now it's all faded away. Brother Tulong, why did you come in... You didn't abide by the agreement... But... Brother, I didn't abide by it either... Don't look at me like this, what are you talking about? Make your voice louder! I already I can’t hear you clearly because I’m holding the third money sign
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