Wit, wit, humor and jokes

Lead: The most important thing in life is happiness. The source of happiness often comes from life, and life is full of endless joy. For example, a joke may be your pastime after dinner. I specially arranged witty and humorous jokes for everyone, and everyone was very happy.

Humorous jokes (1)

1, after 70, parents firmly said to their children:? Son, we are different from our parents of the previous generation. When we are old, we will go directly to the nursing home. You don't have to think about us. Go ahead bravely on your own life path! ?

The child cried as soon as he heard it: You mean I can't continue to live at home and spend your pension?

The doctor said to her husband:? There is nothing serious about your wife's health. Follow her a little when you get home, try not to quarrel with her, and try to satisfy her if you have any requirements. It's best to take her out for a trip twice a year to make her happy and recover soon. ?

Husband came home and said to his wife:? Honey, the doctor says you can't cure this disease. ?

I am idle in the office at noon. I took out a small mirror and a pair of scissors from the drawer and cut my Liu Long Haier.

When I got home at night, I grabbed my husband and asked, "Look at my Liu Haier hairstyle." .

The husband took a look and muttered:? Not so good. ?

I said:? I didn't go outside to cut it. I cut it myself and didn't spend a penny. ?

My husband stared at my Liu Haier carefully and said? Good, good. Why didn't you say so earlier?

Humorous jokes (2)

1, the rich man gave his last will to the lawyer population, and his voice was almost inaudible. Anyone who has cooperated with me for more than two years, I promise to give him 65438+ 10,000. ?

Lawyer:? You are so generous. ?

The dying rich man muttered to himself? Alas, it's a pity that no one has worked for me for more than two years. However, it is a pity to put such a will in the newspaper. ?

2. The boss telephoned three factory directors and said: This year, there is a loss, and the bonus will not be distributed.

Director A came back to the factory and said: This year, there is a loss, and the bonus will not be distributed. All employees scold behind their backs.

Director B returned to the factory and said: This year's bonus will not be paid, and he also said that he would lay off employees. I try to keep people from being fired. All employees are grateful and grateful.

Director c came back to the factory and said: this year's bonus will not be paid, and he also said that he would lay off employees. Leave immediately. In the evening, all the staff went to the factory director C's house to give out red envelopes!

A lady got on the bus and all the seats were taken. A gentleman got up and offered his seat, and the lady sat down without hesitation.

Mr. Wang bowed down and asked, "What did you say, madam?"

The lady said in surprise, I didn't say anything! ?

? I'm sorry, I thought you said? Thank you? It's over! ?

Humorous jokes (3)

1. During the Guangxu period, Guangdong School was opened, and the flag official Deshou proposed to delete three courses of mathematics, gymnastics and geography on the grounds that mathematics had its own accounting and cooking; My generation is a literati, so there is no need to practice gymnastics. Geography is the word of Mr. Feng Shui. Why should we train so many Mr. Feng Shui?

2. In the 22nd year of Guangxu (1896), before the first Summer Olympic Games was held in Athens, the Qing court received an invitation letter from the International Olympic Committee. Don't Guangxu, Cixi and Manchu officials know? Olympic Games? What is this? I ignored it.

3. Yuan Shikai said to Zhang Zhidong: Training seems complicated, but it's actually very simple. Mainly to practice absolute obedience. We have money and officials in one hand and knives in the other. Obey orders, officials will have money, and if they don't obey, they will eat knives. ? Lean also.

4. Zhang Xiruo, a professor in Tsinghua University, attended the Political Council of the Republic of China. He said that there were only three kinds of people at the meeting: one was selling mouths and praising the authorities; First, the seller is nothing more than a little effort; One is an ass seller, who doesn't talk or raise his hand, just sits.

5. Wu Zhihui once satirized the Republic of China? Turtle? :? Just like bread, it is fried abroad and becomes fluffy and huge fried dough sticks when it comes back. ?

6. In the Central Plains War, the Central Army dispatched the air force to help, and the Northwest Army was frightened. Feng Yuxiang assembled troops and lectured in order to stabilize the morale of the army.

Feng asked everyone:? Are there more planes or crows in the air?

Everyone replied:? More crows?

Feng asked again:? But did the crow fall on your head when he took a shit?

Everyone said with one voice:? No?

Feng went on to say: So when the plane drops a bomb, the chance of hitting it is even smaller. Don't be afraid. ?

The next day, the air force attacked, and everyone did not escape, causing heavy casualties.

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