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Is suspicion a poison?

There is nothing wrong with the world, and only mediocre people disturb themselves. Take suspicion, for example, which often causes puzzling incidents for no apparent reason. Suspicion is confusing and confuses people's minds. Sometimes it even makes you unable to distinguish the faces of enemies and friends, confuses the boundaries between right and wrong, causes losses to your family, and leads to the failure of your career.

Think about it, the disputes, quarrels, misunderstandings and even the many unjust, false and wrongful convictions among us in the past, which one is not related to suspicion?

In our traditional culture, there are many teachings about suspicion, such as: "suspicious people steal axes", "people's hearts are separated from the belly", "knowing people but not knowing their faces", "do not harm others" Yes, you must be on guard against others.”

A suspicious person not only speculates and doubts others, but also often doubts himself and daydreams about impending disaster.

Suspiciousness is a cancer of self-worry. If the pulse skips a beat, one suspects that there is something wrong with the heart; if someone is suffering from polio and his neck is a little stiff, he will be scared to death; if there is a slight fever, he will frown. Fortunately, most people's worries are short-lived. But people who are truly hypochondriacal worry all the time that they are sick. They seek medical treatment everywhere and undergo various physical examinations repeatedly. Although the examination results did not support the diagnosis of any physical disease, they did not believe the disease-free report and still insisted on using their own self-perception of physical symptoms as evidence of the disease. I even randomly bought some medicines that I thought were right for my symptoms and swallowed them in large quantities, which made me feel at ease.

The idiom "unfounded worry" is used to satirize those who are suspicious of people. It is said that in ancient times, there was a man in the state of Qi. When walking at night, he was always worried that the sky would collapse and the stars would fall and hit him on the head. Therefore, I always feel uneasy and dare not go out at night. A group of Muslims in the Holy Land of Mecca, Africa, always suspected that Star Wars was about to break out and that mankind would be destroyed and a catastrophe was imminent. In order to avoid hearing and witnessing the cruel "unwarranted" scene in the future, they fled to the mountains and committed collective suicide. Doubting everything and believing everything have reached an extremely extreme level of absoluteness here. It is so easy to believe falsehood as truth, and even make such ridiculous jokes that are incomprehensible.

A university once conducted a questionnaire survey among 3,200 male and female students. One of the questions was: "What are you most afraid of in life?" More than 2,800 students answered: "Afraid of others talking behind your back." "Myself." Such a high proportion illustrates the fact that most young people are always suspicious of others' opinions of themselves. In fact, this in turn means that young people are always suspicious of others in social interactions.

Let us see again, in life, if two children fight outside, two mothers emerge, one is Chinese and the other is a foreigner. The Chinese mother is likely to point at the other person and ask: "Why did you hit my child?" And the foreign mother may say: "What? Are you unfriendly?"

This shows that different cultures Two mothers under the influence will say two different things. It can also be seen that suspicion has a great influence on each of us Chinese, and it is the root of our national psychology. If our "Long Live Understanding" is based on suspicion, we will never be able to understand, so how can we talk about Long Live. Because each of us has received the education and influence of suspicion since childhood, it can be said that everyone has suspicion.

To get rid of suspicion, we must have a deep understanding of suspicion. What is suspicion?

Suspicion is a subjective imagination that is based on distrust of others and does not conform to the facts. It is a stumbling block in the process of interpersonal communication. Suspicion is the doubt caused by the convergence of various inaccurate signals in a specific life context. Sometimes it can help and accomplish things, and sometimes it can cause troubles and bad things. Having a little suspicion about some things that are difficult to grasp can make you mentally prepared for some unexpected disasters in life, and you can often avoid some blind and reckless actions.

It is extremely rare for people to be suspicious and act decisively. Bacon once said that Henry VII was such a person. More suspicious people are accompanied by timid and fearful personalities, which is even more fatal. No. Overcome this kind of personality defect, and you can only live a miserable life.

We must realize that suspicion is a fundamental evil in human psychology. Suspicion flows in the blood vessels of each of us. If we do not take detoxification measures, its consequences will poison our entire nation like a drug. In the heat of the struggle, how can we still have the energy to develop? Suspicion is the bane of "fighting"; suspicion is the blindfold that turns friends into enemies; suspicion is the drug that causes suicide and homicide!

The suspect's way of thinking is to justify himself. Because he lost something and he has been acting strangely recently, he must have stolen it.

So whether you are adjusting yourself or dealing with suspicious friends, it is extremely important to adjust your thinking methods.

If you have doubts about someone or something, the easiest way is to talk to that person, exchange your views with him candidly and friendly, and gain real knowledge and understanding. Once you understand, you will no longer hold it in your heart or hold grudge against that person.

The way to eliminate misunderstandings is to communicate face to face. This is more trouble-free and more effective than any circumlocution, indirect understanding, or indirect hearsay. Suspicious people often have short-sightedness, no lofty goals, and no sincere and kind hearts. The way to adjust your mentality and get along with those who are suspicious is: first, cultivate love, from love for small animals to love for people. Suspicion always assumes the bad side and is a sign of no love.

Secondly, cultivate the psychological quality of tolerance. Tolerance means recognizing differences and lowering your requirements for others. Being able to tolerate others is the first condition for being honest with others, because tolerance is the quality of thoughtfulness and a magic weapon for removing thorns deep in the heart.