Funny bedtime jokes

Humorous Bedtime Jokes

Most of the jokes reveal the perverse phenomena in life and are ironic and entertaining. I have collected some humorous bedtime jokes, feel free to read them.

1. The husband gave his wife a skirt. The wife happily kissed her husband on the face and said: Honey, why did you give me the skirt? The husband replied: I saw it A girl looks so beautiful in this dress, so I will buy one for you

2. After hearing this, my wife roared: Okay, you actually look at other beauties! In the world of chaos, it is a blessing to have someone caring about you; In the sea of ????people, it is a pride to have someone know each other. My friend, I understand you best: you can avoid aging by not waking up during the day, and you can extend your life by not sleeping at night. I wish you good health, long life, happiness and freedom!

3. A beautiful woman passed by a face reader and stopped to count her chances of getting married. Beauty: I want to ask when can I meet my significant other. Fortune teller: Do you want it to be accurate or inaccurate? Beauty: Of course it is accurate. Fortune teller: Go back and take off your makeup before coming back.

4. I was playing the erhu at home and heard someone knocking on the door. I thought it might be loud, so when I opened the door, it was a young man. I felt guilty and wanted to apologize, but the young man said: Brother, I have moved a new apartment upstairs and it hasn’t been renovated yet. I want to listen to the renovation of your home and come and visit.

5. A young mother entered the hospital holding her daughter. The daughter said innocently: Mom, what are we doing here? Mom: Give me an injection. Daughter: Why do you need an injection? Did the injection do something wrong? Doesn’t the injection hurt? Five minutes later, my daughter started roaring: This is an injection hitting me, this is an injection hitting me!

6. A girl A colleague, who weighs 140 pounds, dances square dance with the aunts every night. Yesterday, he took me to watch it and asked me how my dancing was after it was over. I said: "I think you look like a little swan when you dance... a brand drum washing machine."

7. Children are best not to play funny jokes before going to bed. . Hitting the head can easily damage the brain, spanking the butt can easily damage the nerves, hitting the face can easily hurt self-esteem, and spanking the hands and feet can easily hurt yourself. So try not to fight if you can. If you must spank your child, but don’t want to worry about these previous problems, there is only one trick: spank other people’s children!

8. The final exam is coming soon, and the teacher will help the students with key reminders in class. The teacher said: "This question is very important. Draw the stars in front." Xiaohong said: "Teacher, can you use a ticker? It's so difficult to draw an orangutan."

9. One of my brothers He was drunk and forced us to sing karaoke. He also said that whoever didn't go would be in trouble. We couldn't help him into the car and went straight to his house. We lied to him that he was going to a KTV. When we got to his house, his wife drove The door... He hugged his wife and said to us with a smile: This lady is very beautiful, a bit like my wife! His wife's face suddenly changed, and just to see if we were having an attack, she went back to the room to sleep. . The man invited us to sit in the living room, asked us to order some songs, and then told us that he had to go to the toilet. Within a minute of entering the toilet, his phone rang. When his wife came out to answer the call, she didn't listen for half a minute before slamming the phone down. Then the guy came out of the toilet and shouted to us happily: Brothers, have a good time tonight. I have called home to say that I will not be back after working overtime tonight...

10. One day, I was chatting with some brothers, and when it came to my personal money, I complained that it would be found no matter what. At this time, an uncle stood up and said: My personal money is in the bank. Everyone asked again: Where to put the passbook? Uncle: Burn it and replace it when you need it. 18. Yesterday, I asked a stock trading friend: The stock market has plummeted recently. How is my sleep? He said: I sleep like a baby. I said: You are indeed a master! You can even sleep here! He was silent for a while and said: He often wakes up in the middle of the night and cries for a while before going back to sleep. ;