Who has a humorous story about history? . be badly in need of

197 1 year, Dr. Kissinger secretly visited China to restore diplomatic relations between China and the United States. Before the formal negotiations began, Kissinger suddenly made a request to Premier Zhou Enlai: "Dear Prime Minister, the excavation result of Mawangdui No.1 Han Tomb in your country shocked the world. That female corpse is really a rare treasure in the world! I was entrusted by a famous person in the scientific community in China, and wanted to exchange charcoal around some female corpses with a substance that is not found on the earth. I wonder if your country is willing? "

After listening, Premier Zhou Enlai casually asked, "Madam Secretary, I want to know what your Z F can be exchanged for?" Kissinger said: "The lunar soil is the soil brought back from the moon by our spacecraft, which should be regarded as something that does not exist on the earth!" "

Premier Zhou smiled: "What is my Tao? It turned out to be something at the feet of our ancestors. " Kissinger was surprised and asked doubtfully, "Why? One of you went to the moon a long time ago. What time? Why not announce it? "

Premier Zhou Enlai smiled and pointed to a the Goddess Chang'e flying to the moon tooth carving on the coffee table and said to Kissinger seriously, "Why didn't we announce it earlier?" ? As early as 5000 years ago, we had a Chang 'e who flew to the moon, built the Guanghan Palace on the moon and lived there. Don't believe me, we will send someone to see her! Why don't you China experts know these things that are well known to women and children in our country? "Premier Zhou Enlai's humorous answer made the learned Dr. Kissinger laugh.

2. The origin of "Pike"

In 1950s, when Zhou Enlai was talking with an American journalist, the reporter saw a Parker pen in the Prime Minister's office and asked with a little irony and pride, "Your Excellency, do you believe in pens in China?" Zhou Enlai said humorously, "A North Korean friend gave it to me. This friend said to me: "This was used by the US military at the Panmunjom surrender signing ceremony. Please keep it as a souvenir! "I think the origin of this pen is very meaningful, so I left this pen in your country." The American journalist's face is red to the ears.

3. A one-sentence movie description

1954, Zhou Enlai attended the Yue Opera Conference and informed the staff to show a colorful Yue Opera film "Butterfly Lovers" to the participants. In order to make foreigners understand China's plays, the staff wrote a 15 page explanation and submitted it to Premier Zhou for review. Zhou Enlai criticized employees for "casting pearls before swine, not looking at the real thing". The staff said unconvinced, "showing this kind of movie to foreigners is casting pearls before swine." It depends on how you play. "Zhou Enlai said," if you want to play it with more than ten pages of instructions, it is random. I'll change the game for you. You just need to write a sentence on the invitation: "Please enjoy a colorful opera movie, Romeo and Juliet in China." After the film was shown, the audience was fascinated and burst into applause from time to time.

4, smart to Mao Zedong.

1960 In May, Mao Zedong and Zhou Enlai traveled to Changsha and went for a walk by the river after work. Looking at Orange Island in the distance, there are hundreds of battles, competing in Qian Fan and flying in Yixing, Mao Zedong. The first link is: "orange island, the boat is adjacent to the continent, and the boat is not good." This couplet is dynamic, with a long artistic conception, three broken sentences, two thimbles, and the homonym of "Zhou" and "Zhou" is extremely difficult to handle. Mao Zedong said to Zhou Enlai around him, "Well, I'm going to leave Kaijianglang for a period of time. How about icing on the cake? " Zhou Enlai's wit is extraordinary, and he is familiar with geography. Within a hundred steps, he got a famous saying: "Tianxin Pavilion, pigeons in the pavilion, pigeons in the pavilion fly." Tianxin Pavilion is a scene in Changsha, opposite Orange Island. It was neat and smooth, the whole couplet was seamless, and the two great men smiled at each other.

5.1On August 28th, 973, the 10th National Congress of the Communist Party of China was held in Beijing. Mao Zedong, who attended the meeting, was unable to stand because of leg illness. After the meeting, in order not to let the delegates see the flaw and worry about their health, Mao Zedong has been sitting in his seat, trying to let the delegates leave first. If the chairman doesn't leave, will the representative leave first? It was the careful Premier Zhou Enlai who saw the President's mind and broke the deadlock. He tactfully said that Chairman Mao wanted to see everyone leave the meeting. Mao Zedong deliberately said obstinately, "If you don't go, I won't go." In this way, the delegates turned around step by step and reluctantly waved goodbye to the chairman.

6. Once, an American reporter interviewed by Zhou Enlai asked with malicious intent, "Sir, why do you people in China call the road the road that people take?" After listening, he didn't rush to refute with barbed words, but said humorously: "We are taking the Marxist road, referred to as the road." The American journalist kept asking questions: "Sir, in the United States, people walk with their heads held high, but why do you China people walk with your heads down? How to explain this? " Premier Zhou said with a smile, "This is not surprising. The question is simple. When you Americans go downhill, of course, you have to hold your head high, while we in China go uphill, of course, you have to keep your head down. " The reporter asked: "There are 400 million people in China now. How many toilets need to be repaired? " This is sheer nonsense, but in such a diplomatic situation, it is inconvenient to refuse. Premier Zhou smiled gently and replied, "Gentlemen! A men's toilet and a women's toilet. "

7. Special souvenirs

In 1950s, Premier Zhou was interviewed by an American journalist. During the interview, the reporter happened to see an American Parker pen on the desk of the Prime Minister. The reporter asked in a somewhat ironic tone: "Excuse me, Prime Minister, why do you China people use our pens made in the United States?" Premier Zhou said humorously: "This pen is a long story. This is an anti-American souvenir from a North Korean friend. I refuse to accept worthless rewards. Korean friends said, as a souvenir. I thought it was very meaningful, so I left this pen in your country. " Hearing this, the American reporter suddenly became speechless.

8. Premier Zhou laughed at "Nazis"

In the early 1950s, Premier Zhou hosted a banquet for foreign guests in Qinzheng Hall of Zhongnanhai. The guests are full of praise for the variety, unique flavor and delicious taste of Chinese food. At this time, a soup was served, and the winter bamboo shoots, mushrooms, red vegetables and water chestnuts in the soup were all carved into various patterns, with good color, smell and taste. But the winter bamboo shoots were carved according to the national patterns, and turned over in the soup, which happened to be a symbol of fascism. The distinguished guests were shocked at this scene and asked Premier Zhou for advice. Premier Zhou also felt very suddenly about this issue, but he immediately explained calmly: "This is not a sign of fascism! This is a traditional model in China. Reading "Wan" symbolizes the meaning of "longevity" and is a good wish to the guests! Then he said humorously, "It doesn't matter even if it is a fascist symbol! Let's destroy fascism together and eat it! " After his words, both the host and the guests laughed, and the atmosphere became more enthusiastic. This soup is also for guests.

9. Premier Zhou ridiculed his opponent.

During his decades of diplomatic career, Premier Zhou has always been famous for his high respect and humor. No matter on what occasions and what kind of opponents he meets, Premier Zhou can talk eloquently and entertain himself freely with superhuman wisdom, and his opponents can't take advantage of him. On one occasion, Premier Zhou was invited to visit the Soviet Union. When meeting Khrushchev, he was criticized for carrying out revisionist policies in an all-round way. The cunning Khrushchev did not answer directly, but stimulated Premier Zhou on the sensitive issue of class background at that time. He said: "You criticize well, but you have to agree that I come from the working class and you come from the bourgeoisie." The implication is that the Prime Minister is speaking from the standpoint of the bourgeoisie. Premier Zhou just paused, and then calmly replied, "Yes, Comrade Khrushchev, but at least we have one thing in common, that is, we all betrayed our respective classes." Unexpectedly, Khrushchev's poisonous arrow turned around and shot at Hepburn. It is said that as soon as this statement came out, it was immediately circulated as a beautiful talk in the country of the producer of * * *.

10, Premier Zhou went to war with mikoyan.

On one occasion, Premier Zhou stopped by Moscow on his way back from a meeting in Geneva. At the reception held in his honor, he made a toast to the Soviets in English. At this time, mikoyan (vice chairman of the Soviet Council of Ministers) complained: "Zhou, why don't you speak Russian? Your Russian is very good! " This sentence is obviously unfriendly. Premier Zhou's method is to ignore it first, but still answer in English: "mikoyan, it's time for you to learn Chinese." In order to urge mikoyan to tell the reason why he doesn't learn Chinese. Mikoyan really took the bait and complained, "Chinese is too difficult to learn." As soon as this was said, Premier Zhou said in high spirits, "Never mind, come to our embassy next time, and we will be happy to teach you." Suddenly put mikoyan in the position of a student.

1 1, right! pluck the pipa

On one occasion, Premier Zhou Enlai negotiated with the Kuomintang Z F in front of us. The other party not only refused to accept it, but also said that negotiating with us was "casting pearls before swine"! Premier Zhou Enlai immediately had a brainwave and skillfully refuted the other side with what the other side threw: "Yes! Cows play the piano! " Here, Premier Zhou Enlai skillfully changed the idiom "casting pearls before swine" thrown by the other side into "Yes! Cows play the piano! " , so as to get rid of the predicament, but also forced the other side into a shameful dilemma.

12 and 1960 In late April, Premier Zhou Enlai negotiated with India on the border issue between China and India, and India raised a provocative question: "Has Tibet been the territory of China since ancient times?" Premier Zhou Enlai said: "Tibet has been the territory of China since ancient times. Far from it, at least in the Yuan Dynasty, it was already the territory of China. "

The other party said, "Time is too short."

Premier Zhou Enlai said: "The Yuan Dynasty in China has a history of 700 years. If 700 years is considered to be a short time, then the history of the United States is only 100 years. Is it true that America can't be a country? [Transferred from Iron Blood Community/]

This is obviously absurd. "

The representative of India was speechless.

In Zhou Enlai's rebuttal, two comparative materials were used to deny the other side's point of view. Compared with 100, it is obviously untenable for you to deny 700 years and admit 100. As a result, you have to admit it for 700 years 100 years. Contrast has produced great power here.

13, at the press conference, Premier Zhou Enlai introduced the construction achievements of China. A Western reporter asked, "How much money does the People's Bank of China have?" This involves state secrets, so it is impossible to tell them directly. The Prime Minister frowned and quickly replied: "There is 18 yuan 88 points." Everyone present was startled. The Prime Minister explained: "The denominations of the People's Bank of China are 10 yuan, 5 yuan, 2 yuan, 1 yuan, 50 cents, 20 cents, 1 minute, 5 cents, 2 cents, 1 minute and * * * ten RMB, totaling/kloc-. Backed by the people of the whole country, China People's Bank has outstanding credit and strong strength. The renminbi is the most reputable currency in the world. " As soon as the voice fell, the audience applauded warmly. The prime minister deliberately avoided the essence of the problem and replaced the "total amount" with "total denomination", which not only blocked the mouths of foreign journalists, but also did not destroy the harmonious atmosphere of the reception. The use of misinterpretation makes the language sharp and interesting, which fully shows his extraordinary adaptability and superb language art.