Positive jokes of primary and middle school students

(1) Chinese in primary schools is too difficult now. Look at one of their homework questions:

Requirements: Connect the following four sentences with related words:

1, sister Zhang Haidi is paralyzed;

2. Sister Zhang Haidi studied tenaciously;

3. Sister Zhang Haidi learned a lot of foreign languages;

4. Sister Zhang Haidi studied acupuncture. (Note: The correct answer should be: Sister Zhang Haidi is paralyzed, but she studies doggedly, not only learning many foreign languages, but also learning acupuncture. )

As a result, one child wrote: Sister Zhang Haidi was paralyzed despite her tenacious study of acupuncture and many foreign languages.

Later, found more fierce children wrote:

Sister Zhang Haidi not only learned a foreign language, but also learned acupuncture. She studied so doggedly that she was finally paralyzed.

Sister Zhang Haidi is paralyzed, because she studies hard, not only learning a lot of foreign languages, but also learning acupuncture.

Sister Zhang Haidi studied very tenaciously, not only learned a lot of foreign languages and acupuncture, but also learned paralysis at last.

Sister Zhang Haidi learned a lot of foreign languages and acupuncture, and was paralyzed by tenacious study.

Sister Zhang Haidi learned a lot of foreign languages and acupuncture through tenacious study, and as a result, she paralyzed herself according to a foreign language version of acupuncture book

(2) The strongest history lesson in history is like this ~ ~ ~

In the history class of a famous university, the professor is asking students from all over the world: "to be or not to be?" Who is this famous saying from? "

After a long silence, Gutian stood up and said, "william shakespeare."

"Very well, who is called the conscience of Europe?

"romain rolland"

"Either give me freedom or let me die. Who did this famous saying first come from? "

"1775, Butrick Henry said."

"Very well, then, who said' by the people, by the people and for the people'?"

"1863, abraham lincoln said."

"Exactly, classmate. It was a Japanese student who answered the question just now, but as a student from a European country, he couldn't answer it. It's a pity. " The professor said with emotion.

"Fuck Japan!" Suddenly someone gave a cry.

"who! Who said that! " The professor's voice trembled with anger.

"1945, President Truman said." John stood up.

"What do you think you are doing?" The professor said angrily.

"Madonna said it." Jack also stood up.

"This is really disgusting, and it is simply lawless." The professor trembled with anger.

"At 199 1, when Bush met with the Japanese Prime Minister, he said," Stephen couldn't sit still either.

The class immediately fell into chaos, and all the students began to talk about it. Some students began to hiss: "Yeah! Really strong. "

"Clinton told Lewinsky." Mary answered without expression.

The whole class was in chaos, and some students shouted at Gutian: "You are soaking shit, and I will kill you if you dare to speak again."

"200 1, Gary condit told Revy. (Note: White House intern Revy was murdered in Washington on 200 1. His ex-boyfriend, Democrat condit, was arrested as a suspect)

The professor was too angry to speak. After a while, he strode to the door. At the door, he gave everyone a cold look: "I'll be back."

"Arnold Schwarzenegger said." Bob finally cut in.

Gutian wronged a stand hand: "I didn't do anything bad, why?" "

"Leslie Cheung said Lee Hyo Ri a face of worship to answer.

All the students were in a circle, and Tom was a little dejected and despondent: "Damn it, we are finished."

"Hitler said." Hannova answered at once.

A student said, "We are in big trouble this time."

"In 2002, arthur anderson said," Jane replied.

(Note: Arthur Anderson, one of the top five accounting firms in the United States, went bankrupt in 2002 due to the Enron scandal.)

Wright sighed: "Today will be a very meaningful day."

"Ben. * * * said. " Chris is finally proud that he can say a name.

"This is by no means my proudest day." Gutian said with shame.

"Tony Blair said." I don't know ...