Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Half rolled red flag
Half rolled red flag
Half a Red Flag
(Preface)
When I met Master, he was already in his seventies. He had never been married and had no children, so for me It is said that he is also a teacher and a father.
Master is a storyteller. Our garden is located in Tianjin Ancient Culture Street. This is his life's work. His physical condition has long prevented him from performing on stage, but he has to hide behind every performance. A peek behind the curtain at the audience watching the performance.
He fell ill again, with sweat dripping from his forehead, and called me to the bedside.
"Apprentice...apprentice..."
"Master, shall I take you to the clinic to see a doctor?" His body collapsed. Maybe I should be happy, because he can I completely left the garden to myself and rested peacefully.
He waved his hand, sweat dripping down his dark face, and forced a smile, saying: "No... no need, I can't wait... get up, I know... Be aware of your own body. Apprentice, I am afraid that this garden will have to be... managed by you in the future, but I have a wish... as a teacher, I hope you can... you can help me do it..." p>
There is a half-rolled red flag hanging next to the plaque at the entrance of the garden. It has faded and turned into light gray due to being hung for too long. I can vaguely imagine her once bright and fiery appearance. No one recognized the pattern on it, and besides, it was only half a roll of red flag.
Master’s last wish was for me to wait for a woman whose pseudonym was “Mu Yu”. He asked me to hand over half of the red flag to this woman.
"Who is this woman? That half-rolled red flag is..."
With my help, Master stood up and put on his robe, took out a gavel from under the pillow, He walked to the coffee table, bent down, knocked hard, straightened his back, and began to tell a story from nearly half a century ago...
(The General and the Beauty)
This is from the northwest In a remote territory, but it is an important transportation route, the two armies are facing each other, and the general hopes to win this important land for the country.
General Su had not slept for three days. He looked extremely tired. The enemy army refused to advance or retreat and continued to fight guerrillas centered on his own camp. This really confused him.
"Report to General Su, counselor Han Bing is asking for an audience." The scout walked in from outside the tent and said.
Han Bing is General Su's only adviser. He helps the general make plans and turn defeat into victory many times.
"General Su, I heard that I have been having trouble sleeping and eating recently. Why?"
"Hey, the enemy will not retreat until they attack. I don't know what medicine I bought in the gourd."
Han Bing smiled, glanced at the soldiers in the tent, waved his hand to ask the soldiers to retreat, and then said: "To the north of the military camp, there is a tower called the Nine Dragons Tower. General, why don't you come with me and have some fun? How about pretending to be leisurely and discussing it later? "
"No."
The next day, General Su followed the two counselors and headed north without a single soldier. As expected of the Nine Dragon Pagoda, more than ten miles northward, there is a very majestic pagoda. The tower is surrounded by nine dragons. Each dragon has a copper bell in its mouth. The bells ring in the wind, and even the sound is very moving.
After circling the tower for a week, General Su suddenly found a woman, dressed in plain clothes, standing elegantly behind the tower, with exquisite facial features, which was quite touching. Seeing the general looking at him in confusion and the woman with a smile as bright as a flower, the general turned around and felt uneasy, wishing that time could stop at this moment.
Counselor Han knelt down and said, "General Su, this woman is my Han's cousin Mu Yu. I know that the general has no family yet, so I beg the general to take my cousin in and serve him as a slave and half-maid." "Back and forth."
The woman made a blessing salute to the general, and the two pear dimples swung open at her mouth. The general dismounted, helped the woman up, and said, "Muyu?"
"No."
After much hesitation, General Su took Mu Yu back to the camp and stayed with him day and night. Fortunately, due to the enemy's intrusion in the future, our army also stopped its flags and drums and sang and sang every night.
As the sun set, Mu Yu dressed in red makeup danced in front of the bridge. The general rushed up to hug her. The two leaned on the bridge, watching the water flowing slowly under the bridge, and exchanged glasses. It's very sweet to drink. Mu Yu raised the cup above the river, tipped the cup and let the remaining wine spill into the river. The river water was dyed red and quickly became clear again.
The bright moon is traveling eastward, and cicadas are chirping under the moon. The two of them hug each other and enjoy the sound.
General Su has been in an extremely happy mood these days. He is so brave and good at fighting that he suddenly hates war one day. If he really married Mu Yu, he would rest at sunrise and sunset, and leisurely pick chrysanthemums in the southern mountains and east. Fence, fearing that there will be no regrets in this life.
It was night, the general and Mu Yuzhuxia were chatting freely. Mu Yu said: "General, do you have any plans for the future?"
"The emperor and his ministers are not disloyal. But in the war, the people are miserable and worried. I just want to be free and have enough food every day. I am happy that the people are safe."
Mu Yu was stunned and said with a smile: "Every soldier. , You must seek power, how can the general be so unworldly? "
"Why don't you give up on the powerful?"
"Does the general like little girls?" Mu Yujiao? He took it off, revealing a red bellyband, and hugged the general, "Fortunately, I'm favored by the general. It's not too late. It's a beautiful night, and I'm willing to have fun."
General Su couldn't bear it any longer, and put the rain in the woods. He lay down on the couch, calmed his breath, sniffed it out of his bellyband, and let the fragrance hit his mind. He kissed Mu Yu for more than half a moment, took off his clothes, and hid the music.
The next day the general woke up at three o'clock in the morning. There was a pipa playing outside the window. The general went out and heard the cuckoo singing again, which was not as sweet as the pipa. They hugged each other and kissed again, and then went to the couch again. Another hidden song.
As the saying goes, "Peony will die under the body, and it will be romantic to be a ghost." General Su felt that he could no longer leave Mu Yu, and even decided to remove his armor and return to the field when the war was over, and married Mu Yu. , he sent someone to sew a red bellyband into a red flag and hung it in the camp, promising Mu Yu that when the red flag was planted in the enemy camp, that would be the day he decided to marry her.
Three days later, at night, General Su returned from hunting. Suddenly a group of enemy troops came to the south of the camp to provoke him. The general led the whole team to fight. He soon returned in triumph, only to find that the camp had been attacked and Mu Yu had been plundered. Gone.
General Su waited for all the soldiers in the camp to fall asleep, took the red flag into his arms, and sneaked into the enemy camp alone with a sharp weapon. He killed anyone he encountered. His sleeves were stained with blood, and the general's eyes were blood red.
Suddenly I heard the sound of pipa, and I followed the sound for dozens of steps. I opened the curtain and broke in, but the sound of pipa stopped. The sound of swords sounded all around, making it difficult to advance and retreat. The general rose up to resist, and the red flag in his arms was pierced. When the candle light came up, Mu Yu covered her face in front of the pipa and cried.
General Su was arrested and imprisoned in the camp. He asked his informant to tell Han Bing that he would find an opportunity to attack the enemy camp. He did not need to worry about his own safety, but he must rescue Mu Yu.
At the third watch of the night, Mu Yu went to the prison and tricked the soldiers guarding him into drunkenness. He looked for the general and cried again, unable to control himself.
"Qing, why do you do this?" General Su asked sharply.
Mu Yu was silent, and then replied: "Han Bing openly promised me to betrothed to the enemy general, and then ordered me to hide in front of the Nine Dragon Towers to wait for the general, and then cooperated with the enemy inside and outside, hoping to Putting the general to death. I enjoy knowing the general. I admire the general so much that I can't let him go. I came here to rescue the general."
Mu Yu released General Su, who wanted to take him with him. Mu Yu left this place of right and wrong and the two went far away. However, Mu Yu said that his family was still detained at Han Bing's home and could not leave with the general. He advised the general to choose a new love and live in peace for the rest of his life.
General Su agreed and pretended to leave, but followed Mu Yu in the camp. Hearing a man's voice, he thought it was the enemy general. He rushed into the camp and stabbed him with a dagger, causing blood to fly.
Suddenly I heard a soft voice and realized it was a beautiful woman. The lights were on all around. How can we cherish each other in troubled times?
This is:
Use your arms to lead your horses, whip the North Tower, and make Kowloon prosperous with the ringing of bells.
When I met her in front of the Buddha, she was wrapped in plain clothes and elegant. When I looked back, my smile stopped for a moment.
The ink scene in front of the table, the sunset on the bridge, and the two shadows of the running water in the sky;
The charming shadow under the candle, the moon is resting beside the bed, and I hear the cicada falling in love with my singing companion.
Under the eaves, the beauty is plucking the strings with emotion, and I can only feel the cuckoo's crow and feel dumb to hear it.
The sword is stained with blood, looking for a beauty, before the account is closed when I hear the string words.
The sound of the tent is broken, and there is chaos on all sides. It is difficult to advance or retreat, and the beauty has tears in her eyes.
At the third watch of Wuyun's stay in prison, he asked Yi Sui through the door but had no words.
I want to let the general miss his old love, but I want to take the beauty with him but not get along with him.
Pretending to escape, they followed each other quietly, but the candle to seize the tent had been blown out.
He walked quickly in front of the bed, holding the dagger without regret, his face stained with blood and shattered.
A beautiful smile brings a lot of charm, why not meet again in half a lifetime?
(End)
The master burst into tears for a moment, and kept mumbling, "Why don't we meet again in half a lifetime?" Sweat and tears were mixed together, and he tilted his head, bang, and fell down on the ground.
I helped Master onto the bed and quickly asked: "Master, Master, what is the relationship between Mu Yu and you? Remember your hometown is in the northwest? How are you sure Mu Yu will come to Tianjin? She has What are the characteristics?"
The master in my arms was shaking constantly, and big beads of sweat soaked his robe. He took a breath and said: "General Su took advantage of the chaos and ran away pretending to be an enemy soldier. After leaving the enemy camp, she left a message in the general's ear: "You promised me to take off my armor and return to the fields. When I wait for you to pick chrysanthemums on the east fence, I will take the half-rolled red flag in your arms as a token. Promise me to live a good life." Get down, general...'."
After saying this, the master was already weak, and his body was shaking indirectly. He raised his finger and pointed at the coffee table. I looked over and saw the surprise piece there. Tangmu. He struggled to stand up again, put his mouth next to my ear and whispered: "She is actually in Tianjin, and her real name is Liang..."
Before the master could finish speaking, he rode a crane to the west. , my hand was still pointing in the direction of the coffee table. Knowing what he meant, I picked up the gavel and knocked it hard on the coffee table, and then bowed to the north.
I put half of the red flag on Master and burst into tears...
The word count must be three thousand, so I added some voiceover.
There is a paragraph at the end of the text:
Wielding the sword to lead the horse, whipping the North Tower straight, the bells of Kowloon are full of prosperity.
When I met her in front of the Buddha, she was wrapped in plain clothes and elegant. When I looked back, my smile stopped for a moment.
The ink scene in front of the table, the sunset on the bridge, and the two shadows of the running water in the sky;
The charming shadow under the candle, the moon is resting beside the bed, and I hear the cicada falling in love with my singing companion.
Under the eaves, the beauty is plucking the strings with emotion, and I can only feel the cuckoo's crow and feel dumb to hear it.
The sword is stained with blood, looking for a beauty, before the account is closed when I hear the string words.
The sound of the tent is broken, and there is chaos on all sides. It is difficult to advance or retreat, and the beauty has tears in her eyes.
At the third watch of the night when Wuyun was hiding in prison, he asked Yi Sui through the door but had no words.
I want to let the general miss his old love, but I want to take the beauty with him but not get along with him.
Pretending to escape, they followed each other quietly, but the candle to seize the tent had been blown out.
He walked quickly in front of the bed, holding the dagger without regret, his face stained with blood and shattered.
A beautiful smile can make a child charming, why not meet again in half a lifetime?
This passage was written four or five years ago. It seems to have many problems now, but the vocabulary is still good. This novel was completely translated because of this passage.
In fact, every time I write a novel, I start from one point. Once I have thought of the title, it is easy to write it. "Half a Roll of Red Flag" is a novel that I wanted to write a year ago. What a heroic hero who stood firm for the country and the war.
Yesterday, it was a friend’s birthday and he asked me to give him a novel. What you sent out was read by many people. I thought about it and connected the title with this paragraph. After reading this article, the red flag became the quasi-key point of the token. The general beauty is the infatuated man and woman, waiting for the storyteller inside and outside the painting.
In some places, the classical Chinese skills are not enough, and the description is not deep enough. But it’s still a joke, and I can’t vote for it. After all, it needs three thousand words.
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