Couple’s WeChat Q&A homophonic jokes

Part 1 of a couple’s WeChat Q&A with homophonic jokes

1. It rained and I stepped on the mud and hurt me and fell. I hate mud. Did you hear me? I hate mud.

2. The tiger in the zoo turned the lion green, why? Because Tiger has a Green Lion certificate.

3. The little bear planted a fruit tree and took care of it carefully every day. Until autumn, the fruit tree did not bear any fruit. The little bear said disappointedly: "No results, no results."

4. Do you prefer ladylike and cute style or am I an epileptic?

5. I was just reported as a nuisance by my neighbor because I am so poor.

6. Men are not lusty, so what? Are you good?

7. I asked my friend from Chengdu why he loves wearing Rei Kawakubo so much, and he said, because he wears Rei Kawakubo. .

8. One day I found a little bit of dust on my body. I slapped it hard but it couldn’t fall off. The dust wouldn’t go away. The dust wouldn’t go away. Did you hear that?

9. If you don’t even take me, then what are you going to take? The sword from above?

10. I said that I preferred Li Bai’s poems, and Lu You was very angry. As a result, my family was unable to access the Internet.

11. Once upon a time, there was an illiterate person who was walking. As he walked, he suddenly became literate. It turned out that he came to a crossroads.

12. Why does Conan always wear that suit of clothes? Because he is afraid of being said by others: Ouch, these are new clothes!

13. I am a relatively mature person. Things like not eating out of anger are only done after I have eaten.

14. Why do evil houses in horror movies always have a piano? It’s because “there are several demons living in the piano.”

15. Sun Wukong’s golden hoop disappeared, so he went to ask the land father-in-law. Sun Wukong asked: “Where is my golden hoop?” “Great Sage, your golden hoop is perfect for you. "Hairstyle"

16. Who doesn’t like easy love? Think about the history of Liu Bei and Guan Yu's love for Zhang Yide.

17. I bought a piece of clothing today. I feel comfortable wearing it. I feel comfortable wearing it. Did you hear that? It’s always been there.

18. Once upon a time, there was a little duck. It was very short and was called a mud duck. A duck in the class came up and said: What a short mud duck.

19. Let me share with you the types of chili peppers, non-spicy, mildly spicy, spicy, sweet and spicy. Today is spicy for my birthday.

20. Candle: Mom, why does our flame jump one after another? Candle Mom: Silly child, because we are small spiritual fires! Part 2 of a couple’s WeChat Q&A with homophonic jokes

21. Fahai will never be a rapper because he won’t forgive snakes.

22. I was on an island recently, and my friend asked me which island I was on. I was on the Poverty Island.

23. Zhang Fei escorted Liu Bei back to Jingzhou. Unexpectedly, he was ambushed by Cao Cao's army on the way. Liu Bei fled in a hurry. When he encountered a cliff on the road, Zhang Fei shouted, "Lord, rein in your horse!" Liu Bei: I am happy to be your mother!

24. The mother sparrow heard the little sparrow: "Baby, what kind of hairstyle do you want to wear today?" The little sparrow said: "Chirp~"

25. Coix does the job, and Xiaoding does the job. Tinkerbell.

26. I went to work in the fields today and was lucky enough to be a star. People passing by called me: It’s hot in the ground.

27. After burning firewood all day, I asked my mother what was steaming in the pot. My mother laughed and said nothing. Finally, I couldn't help but lift the lid, and it turned out that what was steaming was boring.

28. You said that girls with apple-shaped muscles smile naturally, but do girls with Android phones have awkward smiles?

29. One day, Tudou learned to tell fortunes. We have a sign on the street.

As soon as he yelled twice, Suan came over angrily and fried Tudou's sign to pieces. As he left, he said fiercely to Tudou: "You're shouting, Suan is dead, try it!"

30. "Have you seen my crape myrtle?" "Isn't your mouth right on your face?"

31. I ate a lot of peanuts, and the more I ate, the more I ate them. The happier I was, I looked it up and found out that it was a good thing.

32. I don’t care, so what do you care about? Italy

33. When it comes to touching the scene, you use two words, touching.

34. Hello, I want a cup of pumpkin almond dew, not melon, not apricot, not dew, but Nanren.

35. I told the wind that the wind was blowing from the west, and the wind pouted and said, "You are like a watermelon."

36. There was a piece of glass that was a little sleepy and then it jumped down from upstairs and said: Good night, I broke it!

37. Why aunt never sweats, because aunt is afraid of leaving aunt sweat.

38. When studying, I know how to put myself in someone else’s shoes, but my deskmate doesn’t agree.

39. Just now, I met a foreigner who spoke very fluent English. I asked him whether he spoke American or British accent, and he said he wanted to go out and watch electronic music.

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40. The most annoying thing is when people ask me how much my salary is. There are many ways to humiliate me. Why did you choose this one? Part 3 of the couple’s WeChat Q&A with homophonic jokes

41. “What should I do if the white balloon bursts the black balloon?” “Confession Balloon”

42. Just now When I went out to buy oysters, when I walked out of the supermarket, they suddenly jumped out of the bag and burrowed into the soil. When I came back and thought about it, it turned out that they were eating oysters.

43. No one understands you. It feels aggrieved, right? Do you think anyone understands the math questions? , is it wronged?

44. I want to take you to eat roasted purple sweet potato, and then whisper in your ear "I am purple sweet potato and you".

45. If you don’t even make a date with me, then what are you going to make a date with? Is there a three-part rule?

46. The male shark stunned the female shark and took two photos. When he arrived at the police station, the police asked him why. He said aggrievedly: "I just wanted to take two photos of the stunned shark with her." . ”

47. If you don’t even coax me, why are you coaxing, Hong Shixian?

48. It’s so interesting for boys nowadays to chat with a girl while watching a movie. Show off, I’m in class with over fifty girls, did I say anything?

49. When I was seventeen years old, I grabbed a cicada. I thought I caught the whole summer. Cicada: I can’t say I love it, but I just like it at all!

50. The girl said to her father, "Dad, where are we going?" Her father didn't hear her, and her mother smiled. The girl said to her mother, "Mom, why are you laughing?" Her mother slapped her.

51. Do you know why Yi Yang Qianxi doesn’t go shopping at night? I don’t know because the store will be closed at night.

52. A duckling said to the chicken: "I like you" The chicken said to the duckling: "You don't have to duck".

53. Asked Stone Monkey when he misses home the most, he answered: Late at night, why? Because in the dead of night, the stone monkey is homesick.

54. How did the door handle of the company conference room break? It was the boss who broke it in anger.

55. I didn’t bring any books to class today. The teacher asked me where the books were. Yeah, where did I lose?

56. I accidentally stepped on an ant to death. The little ant said aggrievedly, "That's the queen ant, woo woo woo, we don't have a queen ant anymore."

57. I seem to have gained weight. If it’s okay, I’ll help you lose weight. Let’s stop eating meat.

58. When the Wangwang snow cake feels hot, it will turn into a Wangwang quilt.

59. Why does Superman wear tights? Because saving people is important.

60. You were admitted to Tsinghua University, and he was admitted to Peking University. I baked sweet potatoes, baked sweet potatoes, grilled sweet potatoes, sweet and fragrant baked sweet potatoes.

Questions and Answers on Little Routines for Couples

1. You look so cute when you eat. Have you practiced it?

2. Will you like me? Won't. Then I'll teach you.

3. You must be myopic, right? Why do you say that? If you are not short-sighted, how come you can't tell that I like you?

4. You look really annoying when you are angry! ! Likeable

5. Why do you tell me your birthday? I forgot my password.

6. Are you insecure? Yes. Hello, my name is Security!

7. Why did you touch my things! What did I move? My heart

8. Why are you so vulgar? You always post selfies. My hands are sore after watching them several times.

9. Do you like drinking water? Yes Congratulations, you already like me at 72!

10. Do you have a boyfriend? If not, do you want to have one? If you do, do you want to have another one? If not, do you mind having one more.

11. Do you know what is in the eye of the beholder? Xi Shi, no, show up for you!

12. Do you know my last name? have no idea? I am happy after meeting you!

13. If your ex-girlfriend and your current girlfriend fall into the water at the same time, can I be your girlfriend?

14. I find that you are not suitable for dating, but for marriage.

15. I’m almost mad at the courier company. Why haven’t they sent you over yet? I have no choice but to go pick you up (marry) you.

16. I’ve been looking for a courier company recently. What store? Your call

17. Pork, beef, mutton. Do you know which meat I like? I don’t know. I like your piece of meat

18. Guess where my heart is? Definitely left. The fault is on your side.

19. Go out, turn right, go downstairs, and walk straight for 1,000 meters. Then what? The Civil Affairs Bureau is here to stay.

20. No one likes me Hello, my name is no one

21. Can you do me a favor? Please help me, please fall in love with me quickly

22. Where are you from Hangzhou? Are you my sweetheart?

23. Do you like cats or dogs? 24. You go first, I’m afraid I’ll delay you Your hind legs are fine, my legs are thick

25. Can you watch your steps more carefully in the future? It must hit my heart.

26. You look very much like a relative of mine. Who do you look like? My mother’s son-in-law

27. You are so perfect, but you have one flaw. What's the disadvantage? My shortcomings

28. Do you know what wine I like? What kind of wine will last forever with you

29. Why haven’t I ordered anything yet? Our future

30. I found you look like a person, who is my future? Girlfriend

31. I think I am selfish. Where is the selfishness? I only like you and don't give other girls any chance.

32. Can I kiss you? shameless. Then kiss.

33. I must have eaten too much salt. ah? Otherwise, why would I always miss you so much~!

34. I like someone. She must be very beautiful. You are too narcissistic.

35. I have a piece of life advice that will benefit you throughout your life! What life advice. Be with me in this life.

36. Liking you is very troublesome. But I just like to cause trouble.

37. Why can a compass draw circles? Because... its heart has never changed. Couple dialogue sentences, questions and answers

1. You are the wind, I am the sand, you are Hami, I am the melon, you are the toothpaste, and I am the brush

2. Is there anything you can’t do? I will never leave you

3. When you are here, two years are like two days . Two days feel like two years in your absence.

4. I want to be whoever I love, yours

5. I want to go get some things, please wait a minute and I will marry you

6. I know three people who like you: me, me, me!

7. People like you. . . . What's wrong with me? I have nothing to talk about with you except love.

8. Let me tell you some bad news. What bad news? I am no longer pure in my thoughts towards you.

9. Will you find a mistress after marriage? If your wife were you, you wouldn’t have one. If it’s not me, then the mistress is you

10. Is it true that your presence is just like the air? I can’t live without you

11. Can you do me a favor? Why are you helping me? Fall in love with me quickly

12. Where are you from Hangzhou? You are my sweetheart

13. What does the person you like look like? Take a photo of yourself when you go home Look in the mirror

14. Do you smell anything? No, the air has become sweeter since you came out

15. Do you know what the difference is when you drink the stars? The stars are in the sky and you are In my heart

16. Do you know what wine I like? What kind of wine will last forever

17. Do you know the best way to eat this dish? Eat it while it’s hot. I’ll feed it to you

18. Beat you with iron rods and wooden sticks Which one hurts more, the iron rod? I feel bad

19. Why are you so tall but you found a girlfriend as short as me? In this case, I can kiss you if I want to, but you can’t kiss me

20. Why haven’t the things I ordered come yet? Our future

21. I noticed you look like someone, my future girlfriend

22. I will tell you how to lose two pounds in one week. Okay, how to reduce it? Put your heart in mine.

23. Can I kiss you? shameless. Then kiss.

24. Can I kiss you? No. What did I just say? Can I kiss you?

25. We two may have been hit by an arrow. ah? Cupid's arrow.

26. How about we learn to swim together? Okay, so we can fall in love

27. I have tolerated you for a long time. Tsk, then how are you going to endure it for the rest of your life?

28. I have fallen in love with someone. She must be very beautiful. You are too narcissistic.

29. I want to eat a bowl of noodles. What kind of noodles are in your heart?

30. My blood sugar is low. Say something sweet to me quickly.

31. Next time I see you, I must close my eyes immediately. Why do I put you in my eyes and never open them again?

32. A family of three, husband, wife, son, My husband and son have gone on a trip. What wife is left here?

33. Ever since I met you, I have felt that life is short. Why is it because the sweet part is so long?

34. I have been here recently. What are you doing? Keep eating. How can I still be so thin despite eating all the time? Waiting for you infatuatedly... Questions and answers on routine love words

1. I don’t want to hit the south wall anymore, I want to hit my husband’s chest

2. Mok Wenwei’s Cloudy Day, Stefanie Sun’s On a rainy day or on a sunny day, Jay Chou is not as good as you and me chatting

3. With 5 cents from you and 5 cents from me, we can get together

4. You are such a homebody. No. But you stayed in my heart untouched.

5. Is there anything you can’t do? I will never leave you

6. I will never like someone like you. ? I will only love you.

7. I know there are three people who like you. Who are they? Me, me, me.

8. People like you. . . . What's wrong with me? I have nothing to talk about with you except love.

9. This is the back of my hand, this is the instep of my foot, you are my baby

10. I’ve been feeling dizzy recently. Do you know the reason? I don’t know because love makes me feel dizzy. I feel dizzy

11. Let me tell you some bad news. What bad news? I am no longer pure in my thoughts towards you

12. Why did I get back together with my ex-girlfriend after I broke up with you? Because. After the breakup, you will be my ex-girlfriend

13. Will you find a mistress after marriage? If the wife is you, there will be no one. If it is not me, the mistress will be you

14. Does it feel heavy when you carry me on your back? The whole world is carried on your back. Do you think it is heavy or not?

15. Is it true that your presence is as strong as the air? I can’t live without you

16. Can you shut up? I didn't speak, so why is your voice filling my head?

17. What does the person you like look like? Go home and look in the mirror.

18. Do you know what fruit I like best? You pistachio

19. Do you know what day it was yesterday? What day? It’s the day I’ve loved you for a day

20. If I were the devil in hell, I would also be the naughty boy who loves you

21. Which one hurts you more, the iron rod or the wooden rod? The iron rod hurts you more No, I feel bad

22. I have to buy you a compass so that you will not be spoiled by me and lose your way

23. I will tell you how to lose two pounds in one week. Okay, how to reduce it? Put your heart in mine.

24. What game does it look like to you? Minecraft

25. Can I kiss you? No. What did I just say? Can I kiss you? Yes

26. We two may have been hit by an arrow. ah? Cupid's arrow.

27. How about we learn to swim together? Okay, so we can fall in love

28. I have tolerated you for a long time. Tsk, then how are you going to endure it for the rest of your life?

29. I am in good health, I can carry rice bags, but I can’t carry gas tanks but I miss you

30. My blood sugar is low. Say something sweet to me quickly.

31. I want to lose weight. They are all thinner than me. I like you but not them.

32. There is a family of three, husband, wife and son. The husband and son have left for a trip. What kind of wife am I here?

33. Ever since I met you, I have felt that life is short, why is it because the sweet part is so long?

34. What have you been doing lately? Keep eating. How can I still be so thin despite eating all the time? Waiting for you crazily...