Jokes about marriage

The general concept of marriage was confirmed by the social system at that time and was a union between men and women for the purpose of permanent life. The following are the jokes about marriage that I compiled for you. I hope you will like them.

Excerpts from paragraphs about marriage

1. The magic of marriage is the Midas touch. Tenderness is filtered by years of marriage and becomes trivial. Beauty becomes superficial. Talent becomes superficial. It has become a show off, romance has become glitz, and sentiment has become a waste. It is difficult to see couples still able to appreciate and love each other for many years.

2. Before and after marriage: Kiss as soon as you meet before marriage, bicker as soon as you meet after marriage; life before marriage is wonderful, life after marriage is miserable; lies before marriage are all love words, and all love words after marriage are It's nonsense; men before marriage are very humorous, but men after marriage are very silent; everything before marriage is romantic, everything after marriage is wasteful; before marriage, there are endless love words, and after marriage, there are endless lies. Love before marriage is a myth, love after marriage is a joke.

3. Marriage is the tomb house of love. You can’t even enter the tomb!

4. Those who live in marriage live with half-open eyes and half-closed eyes. There are no perfect men and women in the world. If you keep your eyes open for too long, or look into the magic mirror for too long, even God may be able to find faults.

5. Falling in love is a feeling. When this feeling is gone, he is still keeping his promise. This is a responsibility. Separation is a kind of courage. When this courage has disappeared, he is still encouraging himself. This is It's tragic. All marriages are somewhat tragic in the end, but some are tragic and heartwarming, while others are tragic and tragic. The killer of marriage is never an affair, but time.

6. A woman’s marriage is a psychological secret war, a process of constantly defeating oneself, and a process of constantly compromising with oneself.

7. Although marriage is regrettable. Love is like sugar, it tastes sweet but becomes greasy when eaten; marriage is like water, those who are thirsty yearn for it, and those who are not thirsty are weak.

8. After getting married, what happened before the marriage becomes insignificant. No matter who begged whom at the beginning, after marriage, whoever is unreasonable will have the upper hand.

9. The most important thing in marriage is honesty. The couple are of the same body and should not hide from each other. Only by confessing can we have fewer misunderstandings and disputes and more understanding and help. Therefore, confession is the most precious thing in marriage.

10. When you are in love, money is used to replace beautiful clothes to buy romance, but when you are married, money is used to offer firewood, rice, oil and salt to solve diapers.

11. A woman who imagines a man too ideally will never have an ideal marriage!

12. Before getting married, I was like a free bird. And now he is a chained dog!

13. Divorce is the best way to solve wrong love and wrong marriage.

14. Marriage is your own, just like your own life and breathing. Others have no way to participate. Other people’s opinions are only for reference. In fact, for everyone, a happy marriage is the same, but an unhappy marriage is the same. Every marriage has its own misfortunes.

15. In marriage, mutual respect comes first. There are many sweet moments in life that need to be shared slowly, and there are many difficult times that we need to bear together. I interpret each other's little tempers and tempers as small episodes in life. More often than not, we have a mentality of mutual understanding, mutual tolerance, and mutual support.

16. If your parents don’t dislike the poor and love the rich, but prevent you from falling in love with someone because of their character, don’t try your best to love them just to prove them wrong. When he comes, you will find that you have suffered far more than you imagined. And when the harvest is slightly harvested, the years have left no room for regret. You just proved that that person is a lot worse than they can see.

17. If a man has boldly asked you to borrow money during a relationship, in his eyes you are just a slot machine with a high winning rate, or a short-circuited vending machine. Cargo plane.

18. If you like a cool man, it means that there will definitely be big problems in the future, and he will be too cool to bother with you.

19. He should know what he wants to say, otherwise, if you always like silent and strong men, you will easily meet a violent maniac. Men who like silence but not strength are prone to depression.

20. A man who suddenly finds a vacant parking space on the roadside in the city and asks you to get out of the car immediately to occupy the parking space and wait for him to go around and park will not treat you as a treasure. God, it’s so common for women to get out of their cars and occupy parking spaces; be careful, he only uses you as a shield in many things.

Appreciation of jokes about marriage

1. Don’t go shopping with a man just because you want free porters.

2. Don’t continue to irritate angry men, they will act like aggressive reptiles. Even if everything you say is right, an angry man will not think that he is wrong.

3. If he has an inferiority complex, even if you deliberately hide your excellence, you will not be able to improve his self-esteem.

4. If you say no, he still decides that you have to give it a try before he knows, or pretends not to hear and continues to let his hands roam around your body. Don’t worry, he will not take your words seriously in the future. .

5. Bad habits that have not been changed at your request in the first three months of dating will usually not change in a lifetime, unless he survives a plane crash and changes his life, or converts to Buddhism and becomes a person without desires. man. For example, smoking?

6. A woman who seeks freedom through marriage will always find that marriage makes her lose more freedom.

7. According to the survey, less than one percent of women find it a happy thing to use men’s money entirely (I think that one percent of women are because they can’t use it) , so I imagine it must be very happy). You'd better plan to find fishing rods early, and don't rush to find the icehouse; even if there are endless fish in the icehouse, most of them won't be fresh and delicious.

8. Never try to prove that you are more virtuous than his mother.

9. Women can’t do a good job because they can’t fall in love; but men who can’t do a good job can’t fall in love.

10. Don’t tell him that even if he has another woman, you don’t care as long as he doesn’t come back with a child. He will think that he is an imperial envoy with a sword, and you will also find that he actually thinks that you are not joking.

11. If you and he are not happy together now, you will definitely be even more unhappy when you get married; if you are not happy when you are living with him, even more people will be unhappy after having children.

12. Don’t stay until you can’t bear it anymore, just leave when it’s time to leave. You will thank yourself for your kindness and wisdom in the future.

13. Unless you can train a cat to swim, or a cat to look at a freshly opened can without wagging its tail, don’t you think you have 100% control over your children?

14. If he says he is not worthy of you, believe him immediately!

15. Don’t marry a man who hates his mother!

16. Marriage must be truly plain. Like a long stream of water, plainness can last long, thin water can flow forever, but plainness does not mean tasteless, and thin water does not mean completely calm. Otherwise, it will be the other extreme of marriage, and it is also another dead end of marriage. It is bland and tasteless and has no freshness. This is the biggest fatal injury to marriage.

17. Manage marriage according to the correct formula of modern life: For example, when you want to marry someone, your motivation is 100. Among them, the man's own conditions account for 40%, and love must be at least 20%. The remaining 40 must be filled by love or one's own conditions. A marriage where conditions account for 10% and love accounts for 90% cannot withstand the crisis of love fading; a marriage where conditions account for 90% and love accounts for 10% will make both parties unable to feel the joy of life; a marriage where conditions account for 40% and love accounts for 20%, Although the minimum prerequisites are met, none of the reasons are sufficient, causing both parties to lose confidence in the marriage.

18. Women don’t like men who are too honest. In fact, men don’t like women who are too honest either. In a word, if you want to improve your marriage competitiveness, as a wife, don't be too "honest".

19. When we complain about the boredom or misfortune of marriage, we are actually making the same fatal mistake, that is: we point the source of misfortune in marriage to the marriage itself rather than to us. Self, this is really a huge misunderstanding, and it is also our tragedy. Who creates an unhappy marriage? It is ourselves. Happiness or misfortune all depends on ourselves.

20. Don’t stay until you can’t bear it anymore, just leave when it’s time to leave. You will thank yourself for your kindness and wisdom in the future.

Selected jokes about marriage

1. What is the greatest tragedy of love? Some people may say that of course the greatest tragedy of love is to love until the end but break up because you don’t love Of course, it is sad to break up, but this is the helplessness of love rather than a tragedy. From another perspective, it is the luck of love. It is a tragedy to insist on being together when we no longer love each other. In fact, the biggest tragedy of love is that you are not sure whether you love the other person or not, and mistake lack of love for love.

2. Love is basically never a necessary condition for marriage. The relationship between a wife and her husband is more like a relationship of partners or allies than a relationship of love.

3. The longevity of a marriage depends on two hearts, not the bodies of both parties.

4. Marriage is like a magic box, it changes the men and women in the marriage, and this change is not caused by the marriage itself, but rather by the husband and wife themselves in the marriage, that is to say Men and women are changing themselves intentionally or unintentionally through the bond of marriage.

5. Marriage is either heaven or hell.

6. Don’t go shopping with men just because you want free porters.

7. Modern couples have three major psychological misunderstandings: they only focus on the small world of the couple and ignore each other’s big family; they always want the other person to act according to their own thinking and habitual patterns; they take it for granted that the other person is completely private to them. property.

8. Don’t tell him that even if he has another woman, you don’t care as long as he doesn’t come back with a child. He will think that he is an imperial envoy with a sword, and you will also find that he actually thinks that you are not joking.

9. Don’t continue to irritate angry men, they will act like aggressive reptiles. Even if everything you say is right, an angry man will not think that he is wrong.

10. An unintelligent woman, after being stalked, will slowly wait to fall out of favor; while a smart woman, after being stalked, will carve her wings and let that man become a stepping stone?