What is your best joke?

When I first pursued my wife, I didn't have a mobile phone in the 1990s. I wrote a letter.

So I wrote a love letter to my girlfriend at that time. The love letter wrote four sentences, which read as follows:

You are my flashlight in the dark, and I am your cooking torch. You are a crow flying in the sky, and I am a dog chasing on the ground.

At that time, my girlfriend's godmother received this love letter and opened it. The old couple both laughed. They are all the oldest students. You can accept this young man as her godmother.

When my girlfriend and her godmother came to meet, they directly asked me, "Do I look like a flashlight? Do I need to blow a torch when cooking? "

I quickly explained that "you are a flashlight, illuminating the bright road of my love for you." As for the torch blowing, I think we will always want to be very much in love (kiss) me. "

My girlfriend was able to accept my explanation at that time, and then she got angry and asked, "Do I look like a crow? Are you a fluffy dog? How can a crow live with a dog? "

When I saw her angry, I thought it might be over. Quickly explained: "You are in the sky, I am a dog on the ground, it is hard to describe chasing you."

The girlfriend went on to say, "Then why didn't you say that the toad wanted to eat swan meat?"

I quickly explained: "Toad wants to eat swan meat, and I am a hairy dog in action, which is different."

No sooner had I finished than her dopted mother and the old couple laughed. Say, "Good boy, you can contact us and wait for our inspection to verify your future actions."

Another answer is posted.

I can't forget a joke my grandmother told me when I was a child. Let's have fun:

Once upon a time, there were two people, one surnamed Zhang and the other surnamed Hou. They felt very happy and made friends. Their names are Zhang Xiong and Hou Di.

One day, Brother Zhang went to knock at home. A question came from the door: "Who is knocking at the door?"

Brother Zhang said, "I'm brother Zhang, come and meet."

When the door opened, Mrs. Hou said, "It's Brother Zhang. Your brother is out. Please come in and sit down. "

After sitting down, Hou's wife asked, "Excuse me, do you want to make a bow or a seal?"

Brother Zhang: "Gong, you are ..."

Hou wife: "Oh, I am his internal reference. Have you had a meal? "

Zhang Ge: "Not yet."

Wife Hou: "Wait a minute, I'll make it for you."

When he came out of Houdi's house, Zhang Xiong was very excited and envied Houdi for having a good wife. When he got home, he told his wife that I would do whatever she said.

Two days later, Zhang Xiong went out, which coincided with Houdi's return visit. Hou Di knocked on the door.

Wife Zhang: Who is knocking at the door?

Hou Di: "I'm Hou Di."

Wife Zhang came in and said, "Are you a male or a female?"

Hou Di panicked: "Ah, the male monkey. You are Zhang Xiong's ... "

After thinking for a long time, Zhang's wife can't remember what she is. Suddenly, she saw the sanxian hanging on the wall and said, "I am his boom, boom, boom." Did you fan it? "

Hou Di was even more panicked: "No,no."

Wife Zhang: "Then you wait."

Zhang's wife went into the kitchen to sharpen her knife and ran out the door ~

(1) At night, an old man slept alone in the back room and suddenly had diarrhea in the middle of the night. He touched a hand and said "a hand". When you turn around, grab the next hand with your other hand. Also said "the other hand". A visiting scholar who slept in the outhouse all night thought that the old man must be a great writer and soon wrote two poems. After dawn, the literati learned from their elders and wrote poems. After listening, the old man said, "I have never written a poem. I can teach you." The scholar sincerely pleaded, "Sir, don't be modest. Why didn't you say no? " I smiled and said, "I have loose bowels at night and hold my hand." (2) Once upon a time, a private gentleman was invited to teach children to read. This gentleman loves to fart, because sitting on a stool will make a bright sound and make the students laugh. One day, Mr. Wang dug a hole in the middle of the ebony stool surface, so it was not easy to make a sound when farting. Why is this, Mr. W? Mr. Wang explained the fart clearly. Yuan Wei said angrily, "You should fart as much as possible. You can't dig this hole! " . (3) Some people have a particularly poor memory. When going upstairs, they often walk in the middle and suddenly stand there, forgetting whether to go upstairs or downstairs. It is common to open a suitcase and forget what to look for. Stranger still, I can't remember my name when I met my parents. (4) China's written knowledge is very profound. A scholar and a group of friends explained the word "thing" and said: things in the southeast and northwest are not things, but things, pots and pans are things, tables and chairs are things, and then pointed to Zhang: you are not things, but also pointed to Wang Erdao: you are not things, and pointed to Li Si. Then pointed to Zhao Laohan and said, I can't call you an old thing. After hearing this, everyone was in an uproar, pointing to the scholar and shouting, "Tell me! Why don't we order something? Why can't we order something? The scholar said with a smile, tell me about yourselves. What are you?

There are many jokes, which are readily available. Tell one and share it with everyone. Smile, ten years old, may you smile often and live a happy life.

Once upon a time, there was an old man who gave birth to a son. When he grew up, his speech was upside down and he was always uneasy.

After the son got married, he gave birth to a big fat boy, and his life was fairly comfortable. One day, his mother-in-law came to see the children, and the old man wanted to go to the market. Before he left, he told his son:

If your mother-in-law asks, "What does your father do?" ? Just say, my dad went to the market.

If your mother-in-law asks, "Where's your cow?" ? Just say, tied to the backyard.

If your mother-in-law asks, "Your house is not bad," just say that my father built it, and I know nothing about it.

If your mother-in-law asks, "This painting in the hall is not bad," you can say that it costs 80 cents a painting in Shanghai.

Do you remember? The son nodded, which means no problem.

At noon, my mother-in-law came.

After entering the room, he asked, "Where is your father?" ?

Son: "tied in the backyard";

The mother-in-law asked again, "What about our cows?" ?

Son: "I went to the market."

Mother-in-law immediately asked, "Where are our children?" ?

Son: "My father made it, I have no idea."

The mother-in-law slapped her son-in-law with a bang. "What did you say?" ?

Son: One painting in Shanghai is eight.

It's up to you to laugh or not. You can't snicker.

My best joke is this:

First of all, how to get a joke, share a few more and have fun!

1 The old man bought a house for his son and went to the scene to register for installment payment. The bank clerk said, sir, do you pay quarterly or monthly? As soon as the old man heard the fire, he said, I am not a stepfather or a father-in-law. I am a ... father! So the salesman ticked the application form ... in one lump sum. When I was 2 years old, when I was in primary school, I suddenly felt itchy in class one day, and a bug came out when I buckled it, so I played a whole class with my deskmate! An old man won the lottery and bought a motorcycle to go for a ride. As a result, the motorcycle ran too fast and hit a telephone pole. The motorcycle flew into the forest. After waking up, the old man can only walk back. After walking for a long time, it was dark and I came to a hotel, but the old man had no cash on him and was driven out by the hotel security guard. The old man thought about it, turned over the back wall of the hotel, found a room casually and went in through the window. In order not to be found by the staff or the people who opened the room at midnight, the old man decided to sleep under the bed. In the middle of the night, a couple came in, and the sound of undressing on the bed woke up the old man. The man said, what a dense forest. The woman said: Wow, what a thick telephone pole. Hearing this, the old man lifted the sheets and said, who has seen my motorcycle? The inspection team visited cattle farmers. The bull saw that it broke the hard rope and ran away. When it got to the mountain, it turned around and asked the bull, I ran to the inspection team and wanted to eat my eggs and whip. What did you run away from? The cow said: the inspection team is coming, and it is necessary to brag again. It hurts me. It hurts me eight times a week. It really hurts. You can't run!

It is said that the husband and wife quarreled at night, and the quarrel was very urgent. The man threw the sheets downstairs, and the woman did not show weakness. She picked up the pillows and threw them down. Three ha, two ha, all the bedding cushions on the bed have been thrown down.

Coincidentally, a tramp spent the night at the foot of the wall under the windowsill, and it was freezing. Yes, a sheet. Wait, a pillow. Soon, the bedding and cushions were all together. "It's so lucky to meet a good man." So he looked up and found a man and a woman pulling each other on the balcony on the fifth floor. He quickly shouted: "Brother, be a good man to the end and throw the girl down."

An old man went home and walked on the highway. Dozens of miles, a few hours' walk. So I waved the car to stop and wanted to go for a ride quickly. I stopped several cars, but none of them stopped. I finally caught up with a car dragging sand, and the driver pointed to the back. "Grandpa, my taxi is small, so you can make do with it." Chug chug, the car has arrived. As soon as the driver pressed his hand, the dump truck began to pour sand. Suddenly, the driver remembered the old man and said, "Oh, no, there is an uncle behind." He hurried to the back to look. The old man is still there, but he is buried in the sand. The old man struggled in the sand for a while and finally climbed out. His face was covered with sand and the driver was ready to apologize. Before the old man could say anything, he said, "Comrade driver, I'm really sorry. I didn't pay attention when I got off the bus and accidentally stepped on your car. "

The joke brought by homophonic sounds, hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah

So is this one.

There will be a lot of embarrassment when you are drunk.

An intoxicating person with a kind heart.

People's persistence

Don't drink too much.