Ask for help from a joke about investors, so big.

Xiao Liu just opened an account and came to the stock market.

I bought a securities newspaper at the door when someone said, "Hello! New investors! "

Xiaoliu leng: "How do you know?"

The man said, "Except the date of the newspaper is true, everything else is false. How do old investors buy? " ! "

When Xiao Liu entered the hall, there were already many people. He stood behind others and looked at the computer. Someone greeted him: "Hello! New investors! "

"How do you know?"

"Old investors come to take the opportunity early, how can you be so late!"

Liu Yi Jr. also listened. He sat down and looked at the big screen. A person next to him said, "New investors!"

Xiaoliu was stunned again: "How do you know?"

"Old investors play poker, how can they look at stocks!"

Small six at first glance, yes, few people look at the screen.

At noon, little Liu Qu bought a box lunch outside. The seller said, "Oh. . oh . , new shareholders! "

"How do you know! ? "

"Where did the old investors buy the box lunch? I went home for dinner at 3 o'clock. "

Xiao Liu was said to be a new shareholder all morning, and he was a little annoyed. He made up his mind to study hard and strive to become an old shareholder as soon as possible.

After dinner, he saw a bunch of people discussing stock tickets, so he leaned in to listen. After a while, someone patted him: "Hey! New investors! "

"How do you know! ! "

"The old investors didn't speak for 10 minutes!"

Small six had to * * *, didn't speak.

In the afternoon, Xiao Liu decided to buy a stock. He is optimistic about a man named Shenhua Holdings. It cost more than 8 yuan last month, and now it's only more than 4 yuan. He just wanted to buy it when someone nearby said, "Hey! New investors! "

"How do you know! ! ! ? "

"Old investors who buy ex-dividend shares!"

Xiao Liu gritted his teeth and stopped buying. He thought, I can't let others see that I am a new stockholder.

At the close, Xiao Liu finally decided to buy a stock. He bought 100 shares of 000 100.

The man didn't want to be seen, so he said, "Hey! New investors! "

"How do you know! ? ! ? ! ? "

"Old investors who buy TCL!"

Small six heart this regret!

At the close, there was a stock review in the sales department, and Xiao Liu was listening carefully. Someone said, "Yo! New investors! "

"How do you know! ! ! ! ! "

"How do old investors listen to stock reviews?"

Small six go toward outside walk, was blocked by people, "hey! New investors! "

"How do you know! ! ! ! ! "

"How can old investors go without going to the toilet!"

Xiao Liu came out of the sales department and went home by bike. The old man watching the car said, "Hey! New investors! "

"How do you know! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! "

"Old investors go home as soon as they close the door, and they all talk at the door of the sales department. Old investors have cars and put them in the corridor! "

Xiao Liu fainted. . . . .

After Xiao Liu fainted, ...

Just when I opened my eyes, I found an aunt holding him. I just want to say "thank you". Aunt smiled like a mother and said, "Son, are you a new stockholder?" "

Small six frightened, "how do you know? Don't just fall posture is wrong "

Aunt handed Xiao Liu the magnetic card, code card and ID card that had just fallen to the ground when he fainted: "Be careful, where can these three old investors be put together?" "

……

Just a few steps away, a beggar reached for money.

Xiao Liu was kind-hearted and gave all the change left in her pocket to the beggar. The beggar's green face squeezed out a strange smile. "Good man, are you a new investor?" "

Small six began to sweat, the in the mind whisper "depend! Do beggars know? "

"How do you know! ! ! ! ..... too little? "

Fearing that he would take the money back, the beggar quickly said, "I have been asking for money at this door for a long time." Those regular investors always give me eighty cents, one dollar and six dollars, and you give me one dollar and four dollars, but the old investors don't like this amount ... "

Small six completely dizzy, afraid to ride a bike, had to push back, an old man turned to look at him for a while, "young man, the new investor?"

Small six only feel naked walking in the street, a shame, because the elderly are elders, not easy to attack. The old man smiled and said, "How can old investors come to the securities department to see stocks in green?" Look at the bear printed on your schoolbag! ! "

Xiao Liu was careful of many bosses. Oh, people are wearing a red T-shirt with the world-famous team logos of Chicago and Chicago Bulls printed on their chests! The old man looked at Xiao Liu with a disappointed face, looked around, leaned in his mouth and said mysteriously to him, "To tell you the truth, my underwear was picked up by my wife with pure cotton red cloth, which is breathable, durable and auspicious ..."

Xiaoliu finally came home in the dark, only to find a rosy monk begging his wife Cui Hua, "Master, are you back?"

Xiao Liu nodded weakly. The monk folded his hands when he saw him like this. "Amitabha, is the donor a new shareholder? ........... Amitabha! The stock in your hand is like Anxin Trust (6008 16). "