Ten jokes, did she really meet a ghost?

1. Go to the movies with male tickets. After the performance, I woke him up who was still sleeping happily. Because the cinema didn't turn on the light immediately, the male ticket who had just been awakened and was still sleepy was obviously confused. Looking at him in a daze, I took a big man's hand and went out. ...

I usually like to leave things behind. For example, when I take a bus, I often forget to bring change or a bus card. Marry my girlfriend to get a marriage certificate, and the staff asked us to pay the handling fee. As soon as I touched my pocket and didn't bring any money, my girlfriend took it away. I felt embarrassed at that time, so I patted my chest and said to my girlfriend, I remember, you pay for this marriage certificate and I will pay for the next divorce certificate.

Today, my grandma's sisters came and brought my aunt's grandmother's grandson. This little guy is really noisy. My grandmother and her sisters are chatting in the living room. The little guy stood on the sofa and took down the photos of my grandmother and her sisters, looked at them for a while, tore them up, and finally,

Listen to my mother, when I was eight months old, my mother put me on the bed, and half of the watermelon was hollowed out. She is watching TV. After a while, I thought it was nothing, so I took a look! At that time, my head was lying in a watermelon ... My mother said behind me that when she saw me lying there motionless, she thought I was suffocating, but who knew I was smoking meat there myself. ...

I heard from my daughter-in-law that her uncles and aunts all talk in their sleep. After the family reunion last year, a group of men were arranged to sleep at my uncle's house after dinner. After ten o'clock, his uncle began to sing "... under the banyan tree ... the place I miss ...", which was not bad. After a while, my uncle started cursing all over the street, "What the hell ..." The decibel was too high.

6. A Qiang and A Dai traveled together and stayed in a hotel at night. They were tired and tired, and soon fell asleep, but before long, A Qiang was awakened by A Dai's thunderous snoring. The next morning, A Qiang said to A Dai, "You slept like a general." A Dai was very happy and asked, "Be specific, such as which marshal?" "Marshal Tian Peng!"

7. Boss: "You have been in the company for several years. Tell me about your experience. " Employee: "The company's basic salary system is unfair, the welfare is not perfect enough, and the bonus payment is too strict." Boss: "What I want to hear is your experience, not what you deserve."

8. In the morning, I came to the station with a sister by bus. There are too many people to help me. As soon as the bus started, my sister lost her footing and grabbed my arm. After she stood firm, she drew several blood marks on my arm. My sister is busy apologizing. I said, I don't care. I'm afraid it's not good to go home and tell my girlfriend. Sister looked at me and said after a moment's silence, sister, I am 25 years old. I work as an administrative assistant in a foreign company with a monthly salary of 8000 yuan. I live alone in a one-bedroom nearby. I really can't ... you don't have to explain to her ............

9. My wife is a bitch. Today, she gave me a fat beating for a trivial matter. Gloomily, I came to the study, saw my wife's photo, picked up a needle and tied it up. Suddenly, my wife came in and saw: What are you doing? What are you doing? Me: I am praying for your health! Wife: Pray for my health, and you still prick me with a needle? Me: Look, isn't this practicing acupuncture therapy?

10, a woman in the community said that she saw a ghost with her own eyes and was stunned. After being taken to the hospital by 120, he was still in shock, and kept repeating: ghost, ghost, ghost ... The woman's husband was furious with the property, accusing the property of not informing the owner in advance, and even installing a new mirror in the corridor, and the woman brought makeup home late at night, which led to the accident. ...