Do you know why you want to marry Gu? Is her concept of mate selection worth learning by contemporary women?

Recently, I revisited the TV series "You know, you know, it should be green, fat, red and thin" and found that it is a classic and good drama, which can withstand pondering. When I first saw it, I didn't notice it in many places Now it seems to be underestimated.

Many viewers support this pair of CP, female Yisheng and male Erqi Heng, because they are brilliant, beautiful and moving, two of a kind. But I was an official with CP from the beginning. I think and Gu are a match made in heaven. They are destined to be together.

The heroine Sheng's personality is set as follows: she lost her mother at a young age, experienced major setbacks in her life, and lived in an inner room with intrigue for self-protection. Mother's murder made her wise and shrewd. The danger of living environment makes her always wear the disguise of mediocrity and weakness.

The combination with Gu seems to be trapped by Gu and married for the sake of family reputation, but this is only a superficial reason. Ming Lan is a "extravagant" girl. She is not stupid enough to give up the happiness of her life for the benefit of her family. It can be seen from the fact that she won't marry He that she will never be satisfied with marriage.

Gu Hesheng got married.

Marrying Gu is definitely the result of careful consideration and inner "clearance". Her concept of mate selection is worth learning by contemporary women. I will analyze the deep reasons for choosing ancient times from three aspects: personality, ability and emotional identity.

1. "Look at people to see the lowest point": Ming Lan knows Gu Yeting very well and knows that he has an excellent personality. Even if there is no love after marriage, he will not treat himself badly. Many girls have discussed a question on the Internet: "Do you want to marry with good conditions or love me?" In fact, these two aspects are not the primary problem in choosing a spouse, because conditions will change and feelings will change.

If you marry a rich man, his family will come down in the future. Are you sure you can live frugally? Are you against him?

As for "people who love you", with all due respect, "marrying love" is beautiful, but what most people call "love" cannot be called "love" in a strict psychological sense. Either it is a temporary passion caused by hormones, or it is a projection-borrowing from each other to make up for the lack of love caused by family background. These two kinds of "love" will fade with time, and they will disappear one day unless two people find the right way to operate in the relationship. At that time, it would certainly be good if the other party could be honest with each other and get along well. But if the other person loses virtue, starts cheating, domestic violence, gambling, drinking, and becomes a control freak ... you will fall into longer pain.

Ming Lan's cousin Shulan, her husband's personality is worrying, and her marriage is also unfortunate.

Know whether the background is ancient. In a patriarchal society, a woman's marriage is a lifetime thing, because it is difficult to get together and leave. In the play, Ming Lan once said: "Look at people at the lowest place", and this "lowest place" refers to character. Look at a person, not at his best, but at how bad he can be. If you can accept his worst appearance, you can really accept this person.

For me, Gu's character is qualified.

1. Gu has saved himself from danger many times, which shows his enthusiasm. Regardless of marriage, before marriage, Gu * * * saved five times.

When Ming Lan was 8 years old, her mother was designed by the treacherous Lin Xiaoniang, and the baby was difficult to give birth. Run out and ask for a doctor. Gu once helped. When she grew up, Ming Lan returned to her hometown in Zhiyang with her grandmother, a water thief in Lu Yu, and was forced to jump off a boat. Gu Yeting fished her out of the water. Ming Lan attended a funeral in his hometown and was chased by thieves. Gu saved her in a fight to the death. On the way back, the Minglan family was targeted by hooligans and secretly escorted all the way; The thief entered the imperial city, and Ming Lan was entrusted by the eunuch to flee to the palace to inform him. He was chased by thieves and saved when he was taken care of.

It can be said that Gu gave his life, but Gu never "relied on kindness", which shows his noble character. From Gu's initial proposal to his best friend to putting in a good word for him, we can see our gratitude and admiration for him.

Young and young gu.

2. "Birds of a feather flock together, people are divided into groups", and it shows that he is virtuous and decent. Similar people are more likely to attract each other. There is some truth in the saying "Birds of a feather flock together". A good way to know a person's character is to look at the friends he associates with.

Gu's best friend is his second brother Sheng Changbai. Changbai is fair and decent, helping the manager but not helping the pro; He is also diligent and studious. At a young age, he won the Jinshi, entered imperial academy, and had the ambition to serve the country. Ming Lan and his second brother have been very close since childhood and know him very well.

Such a loyal and upright gentleman, willing to be friends with Gu for many years, shows that Gu's character is not bad. Therefore, even though Gu was framed by his relatives, he slept in the flowers and stayed under the willows, and the saying that he was not striving for progress spread all over the capital, and he firmly believed that he was a good man.

Gu is a good friend and a second brother-Sheng Changbai.

3. The courtesy of Gu shows that he is measured and empathetic. After Yang saved her, Gu did not directly escort her home, but gave her a hidden weapon to walk back alone and protect herself in the dark. Because he is worried that they have been alone for so long, which will affect Ming Lan's reputation. You know, in ancient times, women's honor was greater than the sky. Once their reputation is damaged, they may never get married.

Earlier, Gu didn't like it, but she always considered her honor and kept a polite distance. At this point, he did much better than his first love.

Although Qi Heng really likes Ming Lan, what he did made Ming Lan at the forefront everywhere: Polo Club teamed up with Ming Lan, which attracted many comments from officials in Beijing, and Ming Lan was punished by his father; Breaking into the Buddhist temple and confessing to Minglan, Ming Lan was at a loss and said, "You are insulting my honor"; Hou Fu banquet, let the personal page not meet Ming Lan privately, which led to not being beaten to death by his mother ... I have to say that his living environment is simple and his social experience is thin. Although he was virtuous in nature, he lost to the elder Gu to a proper extent.

He and Gu have known each other since childhood and have known each other for a long time. Ming Lan's marriage with him is by no means a simple order from his parents or a matchmaker's words, but based on his trust in his character, he dares to entrust him for life. Contemporary women should also put personality first when choosing a spouse.

A colleague of my mother's was lovelorn when she was young. In order to be angry with her ex-boyfriend, she agreed to the blind date arranged by her family and didn't know much about the blind date. She got married in a hurry in two or three months, only to find out that the man was addicted to gambling after marriage. In order to give her children a complete family, she lingered for 10 years, and finally she couldn't stand it and divorced. Married 10 years, the man gambled outside all day and went home no more than 30 times.

Therefore, women must polish their eyes before getting married, give themselves some time, and learn more about each other's personality, otherwise it will be too late to regret if they meet inappropriate people!

Second, "Who am I among men and who are you among women?" Gu has excellent viability, independent personality and mature mind, and meets the basic conditions for becoming a partner. Many men complain online that they have no money and can't find a girlfriend, so they come to a conclusion that women nowadays are very gold-worshipping.

In fact, accurately speaking, women are not "gold diggers", but "strong wood". What she cares about is not whether you have a lot of money, but whether you have the ability to make money. If you don't even have the most basic ability to make money, even the rich second generation can only live with an empty pocket. Marriage has no material basis, how can it last?

In addition to material aspects, women often want their partners to have a strong heart: they have the final say, don't be a "horse-haired man"; She is patient and can afford things, otherwise women will be isolated if there are any major events at home.

The reason why many viewers don't support the official CP is that Gu is too old, much older and has had children with other women, which is not perfect. But I think it is these experiences that make him a mature and trustworthy adult. Only when Ming Lan marries him can he not suffer materially and not be bullied mentally.

Gu, a "wife-protecting maniac"

1. Gu is literate and capable of creating good material conditions. Although Gu failed in the imperial examination, it was because he offended the emperor and was disqualified. In fact, he has a strong learning ability. In just six or seven years, he passed all the way, "not as good as the palace exam", which can be seen.

In addition, he was born in the Wu family and has a strong body. He fought an enemy and was rewarded for playing with a gun in front of the emperor at the age of eight. After his father died, he was framed and kicked out of the house, and he could join the army in good health.

Besides these, he inherited the fields and shops of his grandfather's family. Although there is not much ink on how he does business in the play, it can be seen that these shops have considerable income, which shows that he is well managed.

Although Gu is the "second generation of officials", he also has the viability of the "rich generation". With Ming Lan following him, his life will be guaranteed.

The ancient Ye Ting and the emperor gave him a pike.

Gu is independent, independent, not easy to be manipulated, and has the ability to "protect his wife". From the beginning, I was not optimistic about Ming Lan and Qi Heng. Although their feelings are beautiful, they always give people a feeling of puppy love among high school students.

Ming Lan is very precocious, and her psychological age is older than her actual age, while Qi Heng's psychology is relatively naive, and she has not been able to choose her marriage partner and life direction. In the play, Qi Heng mentioned his "obedience" to his mother twice: the first time, he asked his mother Pingning Gong Zhubang to propose to the Sheng family. He said, mom, I have listened to you since I was a child, so let me make my own decisions this time; The second time, when he promised Ming Lan that she would not marry him, he said, "I am definitely the most obedient and filial son in Tokyo." He thought that obedience would bring freedom in marriage, but in fact it would only make it harder for him to break away from his mother's control.

Gu is rebellious, stubborn and opinionated for family reasons. He was never at the mercy of his father and stepmother. He will try his best to get what he wants. This can be seen from his careful design to marry Ming Lan.

I didn't want to marry Gu at first, because he was worried that his stepmother would be in power and his family would be complicated. Gu immediately promised not to live in a separate house, and he kept his promise. This, with Qi Heng as a person, is hard to do. Even if Ming Lan can marry terms, I'm afraid it's hard to please her mother-in-law.

Gu Ershu's "Love Story in Earth"

3. In the process of courting relatives, Gu is mature, resourceful and capable of "realizing life freedom". Gu's maturity began with seeing through Zhu Manniang's true face, Outer Space.

At first, Gu was not mature enough. He is straightforward, lacking in scheming, and is not suitable for living in a deep house with intrigue. Therefore, I was framed by my brother and stepmother many times, and my feelings with my father were weak. He was also used by people with ulterior motives like Zhu Manniang, naively thinking that he had met a bosom friend.

It was not until his father died that he saw through the hypocrisy of his stepmother and Mannia and began to grow rapidly. First, he wandered the rivers and lakes to escape from reality. Later, he was awakened by Ming Lan's words, and then he began to think about the future of his children and family, take responsibility, work hard and make contributions.

At the same time, he restrained his straightforward temper and became resourceful, smart and know how to protect himself. He is very clever. After losing his childlike innocence, his IQ reoccupied the highland, seeking to marry Ming Lan, outwitting his stepmother and helping the new emperor seize power ... His success rate in doing things is getting higher and higher, and his life is becoming more and more free.

Gu's Outer Space-Zhu Manniang

Ming Lan and Qi Heng are the throbbing of youth and involuntary regrets; He Gu is a combination of two adults. Young and ignorant, we know love, but only when our minds are mature can we protect love for a long time.

Although China's marriage law stipulates that the minimum age for marriage is 22 for men and 20 for women, do men and women at this age really reach the standard of adulthood in spirit? Not necessarily.

Woman, when you fall in love with someone, don't rush to marry him. Ask yourself: Is he financially independent? Do you need the help of your parents? Is he independent? Or listen to your parents? Does he know self-discipline? Still addicted to games, alcohol and tobacco? Is he capable of facing major setbacks? When something big happens, will he face it with me, or will I bear it alone?

If he can't satisfy these, are you willing to wait for him to grow up?

Third, Her Life is Hard: Gu saw the truth under the disguise of Ming Lan. He understands her, recognizes her, cherishes her, can meet her emotional needs and let her live her true self. There is a classic saying on the Internet: "The best relationship is that I can't easily understand you." This sentence applies not only to couples, but also to friends.

If Qi Heng is a pair of lovers, then Gu is a bosom friend.

As mentioned above, Qi Heng's love has put Minglan in danger many times. He didn't mean to, but because he was the only son of Lord protector, he couldn't really understand Minglan's situation as a five-grade official concubine. As a man, he can't really understand the helplessness of Minglan as a woman. Qi Heng loves Minglan, but he doesn't understand her. He couldn't see the disguise of Transparent Lan-Ming Lan didn't dare to love him, but at first he mistakenly thought that she despises him.

Gu is different. In Jinmingchi Polo Club, Wei Hangshou, Gu's confidante, praised: "That little girl lives like the sun", and Gu replied: "You don't know her, she has a hard life". At that time, Gu had not fallen in love, but he knew her.

Gu Yu and Wei Hangshou

1. Gu is similar to family of origin and has a similar experience. Gu is very much like a family from which he was born.

Gu lost his mother when he was young, and he also lost his mother when he was 8 years old. Even the reasons are strikingly similar-he died in childbirth. Their mothers were neglected at home and died unjustly. In their hearts, they are all unfair to their mother.

Gu has a scheming brother and a hypocritical stepmother, which indirectly killed his biological mother and alienated his feelings with his father. Ming Lan also has an ordinary mother who is good at pretending to be wronged and playing a delicate role. She designed to kill Ming Lan's biological mother, and her daughter stole the show in front of her father. Ming Lan has become a child without a mother. She can't get the love of her father, so she can only be petty.

Although they have little contact, they have a feeling of being in the same boat and appreciate each other because they both know each other's difficulties. Gu was seriously ill after being driven out of the house. Ming Lan also sent him a bowl of soup through his second brother Changbai to repay his kindness and "understanding".

Ming Lan lost his birth mother.

2. Guhe knows each other's emotional history, and both accept that Guhe was once used by Zhu Manniang outside to deceive his feelings. Ming Lan reminded him that Mannia was not a good person, but he was blinded by his own mind and didn't believe him. Later, he saw through Mannia's true colors and admitted to Minglan that "you are right". Instead of laughing at him, Ming Lan advised him to cheer up and not to give up on himself for the future of Mannia's daughter Rongjieer.

Gu always sees the affection with Qi Heng. As a bystander, Gu naturally understands that the future of this relationship is bleak. He reminded Ming Lan that Ming Lan didn't believe it either. He tried his best to give them some help, but he still failed to promote the marriage. He didn't read Ming Lan's jokes, but he was even more distressed by her.

Both people know each other's past and can tolerate each other. They passed the test of trust.

Gu Yeting persuaded Qi Heng not to give up Ming Lan.

3. Gu and his personality are complementary, both rigid and flexible, * * * and the same. Despite their similar origins, they developed diametrically opposite personalities.

Ming Lan is soft on the outside and hard on the inside. In front of people, they are cautious and weak. In fact, they are very strong and thoughtful. For the important people in your heart, you can pay your reputation and even your life, such as grandma, best friend and cousin Shulan. In this way, although she can escape many disasters and live safely, she can't live happily-who can live without a mask?

Gu yeting is firm outside and soft inside. In front of people, he is rebellious and stubborn, and doesn't care about other people's eyes. He was beaten by his father without saying a word. In the face of the framed by his brother and stepmother, he went his own way and took tough measures, and could not get good results. In fact, his heart is very eager for love. He said to his father and Ming Lan, "You hurt me." The tearful look in his eyes was sad. In this way, he looks handsome, but in fact he lacks love in his heart. If it weren't for my lack of love, I wouldn't be cheated by a woman like Mannia.

As early as before marriage, and ancient times have been influencing each other and achieving each other. In front of gu, he is always very open, saying something he dare not say on weekdays. Influenced by this, Gu began to know how to treat others in a roundabout way, instead of playing hardball, and his progress in the military camp became smoother and smoother.

After marriage, with Gu's love, she lived out of herself and became free, which was completely different from the passive one at home. Gu also learned more and smarter, outsmarted his stepmother, promoted his career, handled the domestic and foreign affairs well, and was no longer wronged.

Their common achievements are based on mutual understanding. Between husband and wife, if you don't know each other well enough, blindly asking each other for progress will only make the other party feel that you don't like ta and are not satisfied with ta.

After marriage, Gu Chong became a princess.

What's the experience of marrying someone who doesn't understand you?

My friend Zhu Zhu lost her father when she was young, and her mother remarried soon. Not paying enough attention to her has made her develop a temperament of being swayed by considerations of gain and loss and lack of security. She once had a boyfriend, but when she was talking about marriage, she found that the other person was on both sides, which made her even more afraid of being cheated and abandoned. After marriage, her husband always thought she was too clingy and suspicious. In order to let her husband know more about himself, Zhu Zhu wrote an article about these experiences for him. After reading it, her husband only said, "I'm so depressed." Zhu Zhu told me, "I'm really depressed about him and this marriage ..."

Being with someone who doesn't understand you is like two people facing each other day and night, but never on the same channel, which will make people feel endless loneliness. For the rest of your life, be sure to be with people who understand you!

Write at the end: choose care, not because of love. Their combination is not perfect, but it is reliable enough. Because Gu has excellent personality, strong ability and understanding, he can meet the needs of survival, life and emotion.

And Gu are destined to have love. A man, good character, strong ability, can afford things and protect his wife. He understands you with empathy, loves you wholeheartedly, promotes you with each other, and lets you be your true self in front of him ... who will fall in love with such a man sooner or later!

Do you understand Minglan's concept of mate selection?