Out of print funny classic quotations

You can live like a pig, but you can never be as happy as a pig!

My father asked me what kind of life I wanted. I answered money and beauty, and my father punched me in the face; I answered career and love, and my father touched my head appreciatively.

Patriarch, I am a poor monk, and I can't heal myself through clothes.

There will be a pig to love you for me.

◆ The pull ring of cans loves cans, but the cans are filled with cola.

Because I am extremely poor, I have been doing homework for primary schools in winter and summer vacations for a long time, bullying other students for primary school students, and have undertaken the following businesses: coolie handling, fitter welding, water and electricity, bricklayer, smashing walls and making holes, and connecting toilets and sewers.

I always treat handsome guys and money like dirt, and they always treat me like this.

Sleeping is an art, and no one can stop me from pursuing art!

◆ After seeing me, you will suddenly find that handsome can be so single-minded!

◆ If there is no medical insurance and life insurance, don't try to be brave after dark.

As an animal, I feel a lot of pressure. . .

◆ It is said that 80% of online status displayed on QQ is on-hook, and 80% of offline or invisible status is online.

Shh, don't tell them I did something good, it will affect my image.

Funny classic quotations, funny classic quotations

1: I loved your uniqueness, so I never regret that you have gone far. 2: You turned your back and your tears kept flowing. Although my heart hurts, I can only say that I will leave after separation.

3: If beauty is a letter of recommendation, then kindness is a credit card!

4. Tongue is longer than teeth, and software is longer than hardware.

5. Protect yourself and love others. Please don't come out in the middle of the night to scare people.

I was going to sogou, but I saw a cat flopping about.

7: You are so good at pretending, how can I bear to expose how much I don't want to love you?

8: Tell me about you. Without a diploma, learn from others' ugliness. You're not smart and you're bald!

9: If you are a flower, cows are afraid to pull stones.

10: If you can't tolerate me, it means that you are either too narrow-minded or my personality is too great.

1 1: After you turn around, you hold it tightly. After you put it down, there is no longer each other's tenderness.

12: How can I forget what happened? Tell them never to come back.

13: Hold your hand and you will know that your son is ugly and his face is full of tears. If you don't go, I'll go.

14: I can't play chess, I can't write, I can't draw, and I'm tired of washing and cooking.

15: If people don't attack me, I won't attack; If people offend me, comity three points; If people force me again, I'll give you an injection; People still attack me and kill the grass.

16: A person's life is like taking a shit. Sometimes you have worked hard, and all you can come up with is a fart.

17: If eating more fish can nourish the brain and make people smart, then I should at least eat a pair of whales.

18: If you can't put on a wedding dress for the woman you love, please stop unbuttoning your hand.

19: Don't cry at my grave, it has stained my path of reincarnation.

At first I cried, and now I smile and let it go.

2 1: Everyone wants to catch the tail of youth. Unfortunately, youth is a gecko.

22: It occurred to me that day to use your photo as a computer desktop. Damn, I'm infected by a computer virus!

Male R3n, if you love your daughter R3n, you must trust her.

Although the bird is small, it really plays all over the sky.

25: When I was a child, smiling was a kind of mood; When you grow up, a smile is an expression.

If you want to get ahead of others, you must suffer after others.

27: Grandpa comes from his grandson.

28: Some people make masks that look much better than real people.

29: How I wish I could grow old with you unexpectedly.

I will still believe in love, but I won't believe that love can last forever.

3 1: I can't even see my own shadow if I live in your world for another day.

Out of print love classic sentence

1, time is not to forget the pain, but to get used to it.

Don't make yourself so sad and worthless.

3. Do you think of me occasionally and feel a little sad?

4. Once in love, the only thing I did for the longest time in my life was trying to forget you.

5, there is fate, put down the scenery, have a heart, and adhere to China's sincerity.

6, the more you want to invest, the more unfamiliar you are, and the tighter you grasp, you still can't stop the lost temperature.

7. What is the truth of telling a joke for a lifetime?

This tragedy is defined as being stabbed in the back.

9. Good morning/Zhongan/Good night. I will never be safe without you.

10, tired, one person insists. Hurt, crying alone. Understand a person's world!

1 1, a man, even if he is young and rebellious, will try to be a woman sooner or later.

12. No matter how hard I try, I can't love anyone but you.

13, when we lost it, we found that we had that enviable happiness.

14, the chance of meeting true love is less than the chance of meeting a ghost!

15, happiness is a comparative level, and you must have something at the bottom to feel it.

16 Although I laughed, I was really not happy at all.

17, it turns out that love is like a map opened by Zhang Gang, desperate to find a way to reach the true heart.

18 I am like a bottle of wine. You pick it up at will, drink it and put it down, and leave without looking back.

19, I would like to be a rivet on your shoes and walk with you through Qian Shan!

20. There are some things that you don't know until you do it. Some things are not known until they are wrong. There are some things that I don't know until I grow up.

2 1, it is said that women are clothes and big sister is a brand that you can't afford to wear.

22. I've always wanted to arrange my time tightly so as not to think when I'm lonely.

23. Love is like a blooming firework. No matter how beautiful it is, it is also a brilliant moment.

24, perhaps, there is nothing wrong with the road, but the choice is wrong; There is nothing wrong with love, just fate.

What a woman can't forget is the person who made him laugh, and what a man can't forget is the person who made him cry.

Classic Quotations Funny Personality _ Funny Classic Quotations

1, stupid or not, see if you can play dumb.

2. Argue with MM about whether a whale is a fish. Finally, I said that the Japanese also bring personal words, and she agreed that whales are not fish.

I must appear in your household registration book. If I am not your wife, I am your stepmother.

4, efforts will not lead to death! But I won't prove it with myself.

Everyone I like is on the hard disk.

6. Never lie to someone you trust; Never trust those who lie to you.

7. I despise four kinds of people most: the first kind loves to play games and is addicted to games all day; The second is homosexuality, which simply tries to stop the historical process of human reproduction; The third kind is a bitch. When someone shouts, he runs like a dog and hugs his thigh. The fourth is sighing! Sorry, my boyfriend asked me to play games! We'll talk later! Woof woof woof! Woof woof woof! Woof woof woof!

8. When I came into this world, I didn't intend to go back alive.

9, it is gold, it will always be spent; This is a mirror. It always reflects light.

10, I suggest you know my appearance first, and appreciate it second.

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12, upper-class people always like to do some dirty work.

13, you can have everything in this era, but you can't have a face.

14, when you fall in love with someone, there is always a little fear, afraid of getting him; Afraid of losing him.

15, some people, when making masks, look much better than real people.

16, don't forget what others said to you when they were angry, because that's what you look like in others' hearts.

17, you kill me, since I came to this world alive, I have no intention of going back alive.

18 actually, I am very curtilage, it's just a matter of whose house I live in.

19, thanks to those who know that I am not good but still stay with me.

20. Dissatisfaction is a substitute for vacancy, which makes people have a constant desire to climb up in comparison.

2 1, they all say that my sister is beautiful, but they are all made up.

22. Unless you get up in the morning and feed yourself a lump of shit, you can't guarantee that you won't encounter more disgusting things all day.

23. After many years, Little Loli became Sister Xianglin.

24. Love needs no reason. Let's see it through.

25, don't ask for the right door, just feel in place. Classic Quotations Funny Personality

26, you have not been loved, you will cherish those who love you in the future.

27. I heard that the day when the college entrance examination results were announced happened to be the Dragon Boat Festival. As for eating zongzi or jumping into the river, it's up to you!

28. Smart people are unmarried, and married people are hard to be smart.

29. Roses are yours, chocolates are yours and diamonds are yours. You, mine! Mouse: I'm in love with bats now, and the children will live in the air from now on, not afraid of your cat. The cat sneered, pointed to the owl in the tree and said, look, she is pregnant with my child!

30. From heaven to hell, I was just passing by.

3 1. When you go bankrupt, except your family, how much money you can borrow is worth.

32, come out to mix, sooner or later will be tired.

33. Chimpanzees accidentally stepped on a bench pulled by gibbons. After the gibbon cleaned it gently and carefully, they fell in love. Others asked how they got together. Chimpanzees said with emotion: ape dung! It's all ape shit!

34. I will never enter a space without access in my life.

35. Smart women deal with men and stupid women deal with women.

Please take your high-profile love and get out of my sight.

I'd rather believe in ghosts than men's broken mouths.

38. Excuse me, how did you break your arm? Aunt, I broke my homework.

It's strange that you breathe in so much courage and spit out a sigh.

40. The Internet is like a prison. You stole a wallet in, but you know everything when you go out.

4 1, love is cheap, and it is cheap again and again. When you stop being a bitch, women will come.

42. You have a desire for a person, which is called like, and you have a desire for a person, which is called love.

43. Smoking is an art of life; Looking for a cigarette is an attitude towards life.

44. Brothers are people who shed tears and shed blood together. Who moved my brother? I made him disappear.

The whole world can be yours, but you can only be mine.

46. Everything has a price, and the price of happiness is pain. A selection of funny classic quotations

47. I usually forget to scold you. I don't want to wait for me to hit you before I know that I am both civil and military.

The night gave me a pair of black eyes, but I rolled my eyes with them.

49. Ahem! Say what you should, and whisper what you shouldn't.

50. I came into this world with no intention of going back alive.

5 1, do you think I will watch you die? I'll close my eyes!

52. My brother smokes because he hurts his lungs and is not sad.

53. Those pasts are deep, but they are not enough to stop the future.

54. Either endure or be cruel.

55. An iron pestle can be ground into a needle, and a wooden pestle can only be ground into a toothpick. The material is wrong, and it's no use trying again.

56. Children in the back seat will have an accident, and children will be born in the back seat.

57. I woke up in the morning thinking I had grown up, only to find that the quilt cover was horizontal.

58. Part I: Maybe it seems to be approximate; Bottom line: However, it is not impossible.

59. I cried when I dreamed that my boyfriend was dead. When I woke up, I found that I didn't have a boyfriend at all and cried even more.

60. I always feel that I am British when I take the Chinese exam, and I always feel that I am from China when I take the English exam. When I took the math exam, I found myself an alien.

6 1, don't talk to me about ideals, quit!

62. Admit your mistakes and never change.

63. Whenever someone speaks ill of you behind your back, many people will follow suit. This is because of the unity and friendship of eating shit and shitting.

64. Only you know whether it hurts or not, and only you know whether it has changed or not. Don't ask me how I am, I can only say that I am still alive.

65. I stayed up late because I didn't have the courage to end the day; Stay in bed because you don't have the courage to start a new day.

66, poor Nike, Fuadi, rogue Armani.

67. Success is 3% talent plus 97% not being distracted by the Internet.

68. It is better to have two than to mix them.

69. Roses are yours, chocolates are yours and diamonds are yours. You, mine!

70. You won't die until you reach the Yellow River.

7 1, youth, you are too acne!

72. Angels can fly because they look down on themselves.

73. Even a piece of shit will meet dung beetles one day. There is no need to feel depressed about being a piece of shit.

74. Work is so interesting! Especially watching others work.

75. Everyone should love animals, because they are delicious.

76. Love is like ice cream. Avoid it anyway, it will eventually melt.

77. A man is a dog. Whoever has the ability will take it.

Time is the best teacher, but it's a pity that he finally killed all the students.

79. Some memories are dull, but they are worth a thousand words.

80. Life is too short to be sexy.

8 1, someone, in a word. Some scenes, a song. It can always tear your emotions easily.

82. I'm not your little raccoon. It's fun to play without you.

We should all face the sun and live proudly.

84. I live on one breath of oxygen, and oxygen is you.

When I saw you, I lost my appetite. What about sexual desire?

86. The lion and the bear shit by the tree respectively. A month later, the lion found that the tree next to his stool was thicker than the bear's, so he said a philosophy full of vicissitudes: lion shit is better than bear shit!

87, the departure of the stool, is the pursuit of the toilet, or the ass does not retain.

88. Believe it or not, I patted you on the wall and couldn't get it off.

89. I don't swear because I have strong hands-on ability.

90. The so-called surprise is that the rabbit you are waiting for is coming, and the classic sentence is followed by the wolf!

9 1, some things don't need to be wrangled, and the surface obeys and secretly resists.

92. You always fart in the office, and colleagues can't help asking if you can keep quiet. Then I saw you sitting there shivering and asked what you were doing, and you replied that I was shaking!

93, women chasing men, sandwich yarn. Men chase women, mezzanine mom.

94. I love you, and I am willing to give up everything-including you-for your happiness.

Be happy when you are alive, because we will die for a long time.

96. Why do you have to sleep for a long time before you die?

97. For girls, pregnancy is a matter of time.

98. Freedom is not given by others, but pursued by ourselves.

99. When I have money, I will take the person I hate the most to the best mental hospital!

100, the oath was just a gaffe.

10 1, diamonds last forever, and one goes bankrupt!

102, love is like a photo, which needs a lot of darkroom time to cultivate.

103, you hit a star.

104, loneliness is not innate, but starts from the moment you fall in love with someone.

105, at this moment, we must live proudly.

106, parents always have a group of schoolmasters, who are called children from other families.

107, I hate people I know, and my relationship is better than mine.

108, everyone looked for her for thousands of times, and suddenly looking back, that person still ignored me.

109. In a harmonious campus, a cyclist may be a doctor, while a Mercedes-Benz driver may be a logistics person.

1 10, the furthest distance in the world is not the distance between life and death, not that I stand in front of you and you don't know that I love you.

1 1 1. What do men fear most? Brother's misunderstanding, daughter-in-law's tears, parents' grievances.

1 12, don't look back, I only love your back.

1 13. If you dare to break my sister's heart, I will break yours completely.

1 14, a temporary impulse, a crisis for future generations!

1 15, Mimi fell into a bowl with a big scar, what are you afraid of!

1 16. Why did the headmaster wear mourning clothes when he was not dead?

1 17, the early bird catches the worm!

1 18, go your own way and let others take a taxi!