Who has the funniest joke?

Nine out of ten households in a residential area have installed security doors, but only one does not. One day, nine families were stolen together. Only the thief on the door without the security door wrote: don't worry about me, I will worry about you!

The weasel proposed to the little police dog, and everyone laughed: he is a flower of the public security expert system, you count that. The weasel is angry! Blow on my ass and say to everyone, smell my ass? Laozi is a petrochemical system!

After the two mice got married, the mother mouse became more and more arrogant. One night, the male mouse wanted to scare her, so he went to the door to learn to meow. His wife was not afraid, but said softly, "Mao Ge, stop screaming. My husband hasn't gone on a business trip yet."

A big mouse strayed into a flower shop and was chased by a Xiaohua Mall. Finding that there was no way out, the rat picked up a bunch of roses to prepare for low resistance. When Xiaohua Mall saw it, he immediately lowered his head and said shyly, Sorry, I'm still young!

Comments on Hua Mulan joining the army. This story must be false. Eating, drinking and sleeping together will definitely be seen through! B: Stupid! If you share a bunk with her, will you report it? ?

Chief: Hello, comrades! Soldier: Hello, sir! The chief patted a soldier's chest and said, how well this muscle is trained! Soldier: Sir, I'm a female soldier.

Work is meeting, coordination is getting drunk, management is charging, and the leader is right!

A peasant woman was counting tall buildings when a liar came up and said, How many floors did you count? Okay, every floor, 5 yuan. Peasant women:15th floor. After paying the money, the bystander said: silly. Peasant woman: He is stupid. Actually, I counted eighteen floors.

There is an ugly girl who has never been married and hopes to be trafficked. One day, her dream finally came true and she was kidnapped. The kidnapper thought she was ugly and sent her back to her original place. The woman insisted on not getting off the bus. The kidnapper gnashed his teeth and said, Go, don't take the car!

In the shade of the hospital, a couple are hugging and kissing. A doctor saw it and said to the man, "You are so confused. You should let her lie flat on the ground when giving artificial respiration. Go away and let me do it. "

My son sleeps with his mother every night. Mom said: when you grow up, you marry a daughter-in-law and sleep with your mother? A: Yes. Mom said, what about your wife? The son said, let her sleep with her father. Dad said excitedly after listening: this child has been sensible since childhood!

Three mice tasted the wines of the United States, Japan and China, respectively. The American wine dropped three levels, while the Japanese wine dropped two levels. The one who drank China Erguotou raised his kitchen knife and shouted, "Where's the fucking cat?"

A virgin is a tribute wine, and men want to taste it; The young woman is red wine, and she wants a sip. Lover is beer, cool and refreshing; My wife is white wine. If it tastes bad, I have to take a whole bite.

Some people are lazy in the whole family, and the dog at home opens the door. One day, the postman sent a letter. The dog opens the door to get the passage: thank you. The postman was frightened: he can still talk! Dog Busy: Shh! Don't be heard, or I will answer the phone!

The beautiful woman fell from the building and laughed your ass off.

John Doe jumped from the 40th floor, but immediately regretted it …

So she prayed, "Oh, my God? Help me! I promise anything! 」

At this moment, a hand stretched out from the 30th floor, and a man grabbed her.

The man said, "I want to have sex with you! 」

The girl refused, slapped the man and said, "shameless!" 」

So the man let go and the woman fell down again …

She immediately regretted it again. ...

Pray again: "Oh, my God? Help me! I promise anything! 」

At this moment, a hand stretched out from the twentieth floor and a man caught her.

The man said, "I want to have sex with you! 」,

The girl slapped him and called him "shameless!" " 」

So the man let go and the woman fell down again …

The girl fell down again, and this time she really regretted it …

"Oh my god? Help me! I really agreed to everything this time! 」

At this moment, a hand stretched out from the tenth floor and a man caught her.

The girl looked intently, wow! Handsome than Takeshi Kaneshiro!

The girl said, "I want to have sex with you!" 」

The man slapped the girl and scolded, "shameless!" " "Let go of her hand. ...

An old professor in Xi 'an Department of Literature and Arts has never married for the sake of academic life. Before he died, he always read: "Shakespeare, Shakespeare. . . "

Everyone lamented that the old professor was stupid, but the old professor knew what he was thinking, so he took the Complete Book of Barefoot Doctors in Rural Areas to the old professor.

The old professor smiled at Jiuquan.

A mother, her grandmother and two daughters suffered an unfortunate plane crash. The four of them drifted to an island with a big suitcase. The island is full of soldiers of different ages. At this time, a young soldier came and took his mother away by force. The youngest daughter hugged his leg and said, "Don't take my mother away!" " A Bing kicked her away and said, "What do children know!" At this moment, another young A Bing came and took my sister away. The little girl hugged his leg and said, "Don't take my sister away!" " Young A Bing also kicked her away and said, "What do children know!" At this time, a veteran came over and the little girl was about to rush over. Grandma kicked the little girl away and said, "What do children know!"

A man and a woman are not allowed to stay in the same hotel or sleep in the same bed. Before going to bed, the woman drew a line in the middle of the bed and said to the man, "If you cross this line tonight, you are an animal!" " "It's dawn. That man really didn't cross the line. The woman woke up, gave the man a slap in the face and said, you are worse than an animal!

One day in the biological experiment, everyone observed their saliva cells and looked at them with a microscope.

Write it down ... just as everyone was happily observing and studying, they let out a cry.

Screaming ... ah ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

It turned out to be from a beautiful teaching assistant. ....

Thinking that something had happened, the professor ran to see her and looked at her carefully.

After the microscope, he said to her:

"Remember to brush your teeth and rinse your mouth next time! ! ! 』

There was a rich gentleman in the Qing Dynasty. He had four daughters and married four sons-in-law. ...

When the annual birthday comes, those relatives and friends will come to celebrate. ...........

Halfway through the birthday party, someone suggested a "poetic dialogue". Of course, the four sons-in-law outside the party were responsible.

Jane. And it is suggested that there must be a "size" in the dialogue to pass ... So ... began.

The eldest son-in-law held a fan in his hand and said, "My fan! Large when in use, small when not in use,

Use more in summer and less in winter! "! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! A burst of applause at this time!

The second son-in-law stood up in the corner and said, "My umbrella! Large when used, small when not used, and used in rainy days.

More sunny days, less! "! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! At this time, there was another round of applause!

At this time, the third son-in-law stood up confidently and said, "Little brother! It's too big to use, so it's unnecessary.

When I was young, I used more at night and less during the day! "! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! At this moment, I was startled.

But the third son-in-law used his quick wits to jump up, pulled his wife up by the way, compared her with her pool and said, "Wife!

Ah! When you use it, it's big, when you don't use it, it's small, others use it more, and I use it less! "! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! This time the laughter.

A laundry list! ! ! ! !

The fourth son-in-law is a lout, so he immediately said "Willie" and "My mouth is big when I use it, but small when I don't use it.

Swear more, brush less ... "