20 13 script lines of Zhao Benshan's sketch "Winning the Prize" in the Spring Festival Evening of Liaoning TV Station.

Haiyan: Old man, you are back. You're fine.

Zhao Benshan: OK, OK.

Haiyan: My wife, I have good news for you. I am very happy!

Zhao Benshan: What?

Haiyan: I am ... happy ...!

Zhao Benshan: Come on, you're 50. What's there to be happy about?

Haiyan: I'm not happy, but you are. Dead old man, you won the lottery.

Zhao Benshan: Me?

Haiyan: six hundred thousand.

Zhao Benshan: Do you have a fever? What prize did I win?

Haiyan: Why do I have a fever? It was broadcast by Tieling TV. You played it there for half an afternoon. There's a surveillance video. Only you are at a long table. That's it. Give me the money and give you a ticket. That invoice won the prize.

Zhao Benshan: What was it before this? Why don't I know? Which invoice?

Haiyan: No, I saw you with a coat and a pocket. Where is the receipt?

Zhao Benshan: Ang?

Haiyan: Oh, my God, that's it! Ah, I have the invoice number in my hand. I was right. Oh, exactly the same. My wife is 600 thousand. Six hundred thousand!

Zhao Benshan: Really? Where can I get it?

Haiyan: Look ... there is no address on it. Red romantic leisure bath sauna center, the consumption amount is twelve thousand ... seven yuan. Did you take a shower?

Zhao Benshan: I took a shower, hehe ~ Let's go, then take it.

Haiyan: Don't take it in a hurry, then why spend so much money? [ 1]

Zhao Benshan: No flowers. It was our boss who invited me to take a bath for the New Year. Listen, I got my money back. 10/day. It is about 18000. Here you are. Oh, my God, what if you win these?

Haiyan: No, did you wash it?

Zhao Benshan: I did.

Haiyan: Then why spend so much money?

Zhao Benshan: You don't care how much it costs. You seem to have won more. You're still ...

Haiyan: No, it's a pleasure. This is a kind of enjoyment. You're not really ho, are you?

Zhao Benshan: No, do you doubt me?

Haiyan: I don't doubt you. After all these years, I still don't know you! The point is that we should receive the prize. If a reporter asks you, Grandpa, how did you win the prize? I said I took a shower. I spent 12 thousand, and I won 600 thousand. You spend so much money on a bath?

Zhao Benshan: This money is really hard to get, so why don't we take it?

Haiyan: Don't do it! Why don't you leave it on TV?

Zhao Benshan: Oh, I remember. Three people, Mr. Liu from our village, and his son, Mr. Liu Laowu.

Haiyan: Three people wash 12 thousand, and one person washes 4 thousand.

Zhao Benshan: Is that Doha?

Haiyan: Are they back?

Zhao Benshan: Yes, you came back with me.

Haiyan: Can you call him quickly? Yes, a couple.

Zhao Benshan: I'll give him a call. It's true. Phone: Old Four, are you home? Don't go into the house, you and your son, the fifth day, you two come, ah, well, your sister-in-law says something is wrong, so come here quickly.

Haiyan: Now.

Zhao Benshan: When you face it, hurry up. Come here and tell the truth. Hurry up ~ ~!

Liu Debut: Go, go!

Tian Wa Debut: Dad, what's the matter? [ 1]

Liu: Well, your uncle asked me to come over.

Tian Wa: I'm not home yet. What's the hurry?

Liu: Your uncle has something urgent for you. Say ~ say there is a problem. Don't talk when you get there, son, do you hear me? I have seen your aunt's personality.

Tian Wa: Then I won't go.

Liu: Can you not go? About the three of us.

Tian Wa: What should she ask me?

Liu: I don't know. I asked you! sister-in-law

Haiyan: Is Lao Si there? Sit down!

Zhao Benshan: Stand up! Can you two save me a snack? What are you doing? ...

Haiyan: Go ahead ... Sit down, Old Four.

Liu: Happy New Year to your aunt?

Tian Wa: Good evening, Aunt!

Liu: New Year in China.

Zhao Benshan: Nothing. [ 1]

Haiyan: Old four? It's going well outside, isn't it

Liu: Son, are we progressing smoothly?

Tian Wa: I, I don't know.

Zhao Benshan: Did it go well? Why not?

Liu, Tian Wa: Smooth!

Haiyan: How much is it?

Liu: Brother, how much should I get back?

Zhao Benshan: How much money you get back is yours. I paid all the money, so we have more.

Haiyan: There are many words. ...

Liu: Sister-in-law, I have more than one side with my eldest brother.

Haiyan: Isn't there a number on one side? How much did you get back?

Liu: Guess?

Zhao Benshan: What are you doing? What do you want people to guess? Just say how much. Oh, my God. You're okay, too.

Haiyan: Too many words. ...

Liu: Son, how much money can I get back?

Tian Wa: I have no idea!

Liu: Why don't you leave it with your mother?

Tian Wa: Don't scare me. Isn't my mother dead?

Zhao Benshan: What are you doing? It's been 20 fucking years Your sister-in-law knows. What are you lying about? Just say it. That's not it.

Liu: Oh, I'll get 30,000 back. [ 1]

Haiyan: That's right.

Zhao Benshan: Hey? You worked overtime?

Liu: Brother, have you lost any money?

Zhao Benshan: What? I lost my money. How can I get back 30 thousand? Did you save it? Where's your money?

Liu: I haven't saved money yet. There are three piles! This ~ this is not here.

Tian Wa: Dad, what about my money?

Liu: it ~ it's not here, it ~ it is.

Zhao Benshan: Isn't that yours? You two add up to 30 thousand

Tian Wa: Ah.

Liu: Yes.

Zhao Benshan: How much are you?

Tian Wa: Twelve thousand.

Zhao Benshan: What about you?

Liu: I'm eighteen thousand.

Zhao Benshan: Isn't that right?

Liu: That's right. Then I'll go back. Oh, give me a sweat.

Zhao Benshan: No, no. Sit there! Just ask him. It's just a shower.

Haiyan: Old four, you went to take a shower.

Liu: Which time?

Zhao Benshan: Son, how many times do we wash?

Tian Wa: We always wash.

Zhao Benshan: Always washing that. Public bathroom. Finally, half a month ago, Mr. Wu invited us to that, the most ruthless one.

Tian Wa: Ah ~ That time, red was romantic. [ 1]

Haiyan: Yes, red is romantic, right ~

Liu: Ah, then Boss Wu invited me back.

Zhao Benshan: Yes!

Liu: Oh, the one who can wash. Boss Wu really doesn't treat us as outsiders. Brother Wu ... Will you say no?

Zhao Benshan: Come on, just say don't mess around.

Tian Wa: Ah, you let me talk. My dad said he didn't understand. Aunt, red romance, that's great. I'm still dreaming, so I won't promise that place. That security guard is so smart that I want to be a security guard. As soon as Mr. Wu came in, he took us to the gate and watched the security guard salute! ! ! Come ~ there is a parking space in the yard, come ~ come with me, right rudder ... pour ~ pour ~ pour ~ Mao! Ok ~! Further ~ general manager Wu, that ~ ...

Liu: you ~ sit down ~ sit down ... I'll learn. Listen, sister-in-law, you really should let my big brother show you around. As long as I look like this, the bath door always respects me. When I went to that station, the bathtub opened automatically. At that time, my eldest brother said that the elevator should not move, so I bought it. We waited in the elevator for five minutes, but it didn't get up. I looked back and was blocked by a bunch of people. I heard someone making noise, so I hurried in. What are you doing standing there? Go upstairs for a meeting later!

Tian Wa: No ~ You didn't shout right, Dad ~ People shouted like this: Good evening, sir, welcome to Red Romance. Please take your slippers upstairs. There are three male guests ~ ~!

Liu: this ~ this ~ hehehe ~ haha ~ right, right ~ right ~

Zhao Benshan: Yes, that's right.

Liu: As soon as this boy saw you, he became security material. Dad, I'll let you go for some money.

Haiyan: Finished washing ~ ~ ~?

Liu: I haven't washed it yet.

Haiyan: How did you wash it?

Liu: Ah, then wash your hair there. Sister-in-law, that's really great. As soon as I entered that room, the fog cleared, just like the flat peach party of the Queen Mother. When I took a closer look, there was a big pool under it. My eldest brother got it. My eldest brother said, don't move yet, don't make people laugh. I'll give you a sample. My eldest brother went up, went up this, oh ~ er ~ ~ oh ~ ~ ouch ... whoops ~ ~ ~ ...

Zhao Benshan: I think so.

Liu: My eldest brother is sitting in it. If he sits in it, it's just a small fish. Come and kiss my big brother's leg. I kissed my big brother. Ouch, damn it ~ ouch ~ ~ ouch ~ ~ ... ouch ~ yo ~ ya ~ ... no, what is this? Oops ~ yeah ~ oops! ! !

Haiyan: Stop! Who is Xiaoyun? [ 1]

Zhao Benshan: It's a small fish!

Haiyan: How old are you?

Zhao Benshan: I didn't ask.

Haiyan: Bah ~ Do you want your old face? Don't ask how old you are.

Zhao Benshan: No, what are you? Fish, not Xiaoyun. Just eat fish! Now fish eat people, small fish hot springs, all so big, gnawing legs. what did you say ? You tell your aunt.

Haiyan: I don't want to listen to you. Son, you can afford it.

Tian Wa: Yes, it's fish. Swim that fish

Zhao Benshan: Look, fish!

Haiyan: Fish?

Tian Wa: It's called Xiaoyu Hot Spring ~

Haiyan: Chew your leg?

Tian Wa: Ah. It itches.

Haiyan: What's finished?

Tian Wa: No idea.

Liu: How could you not know that your uncle's blood pressure will not come up after that? Then he went upstairs, and then we went back to the construction site.

Tian Wa: Yes.

Haiyan: You two went back to the construction site?

Liu: Ah!

Haiyan: You went upstairs!

Zhao Benshan: Ah!

Haiyan: Twelve thousand yuan.

Liu: How much is it?

Haiyan: Old four, sister-in-law is not afraid of your jokes. Your brother spent 12 thousand upstairs. This invoice is on hold, so I won't tear it up blindly.

Liu: Sister-in-law, what happened later? My eldest brother must have been confused by steaming and went upstairs. He is upstairs. My son and I are boring at first sight. I say we go back to the construction site. ~ ~ Let's go. This is beyond our control ~ ~

Zhao Benshan: Fuck you, hey ~ What are you doing? [ 1]

Liu: I can't help you, big brother.

Zhao Benshan: I can't help you. Did you make it clear that you left?

Liu: How can I help you make it clear?

Zhao Benshan: How are you?

Liu: Brother, you said you were a man. Why are you doing this now? Manager Wu trusted you and asked you to take a bath with us. How did you spend so much money? Not used to people?

Zhao Benshan: No, I also want to ask you two. How did you spend the money?

Liu: Who are you asking? Who are you asking? ~ You said you were here ~ ~ ~

Zhao Benshan: I'm telling you, Lao Si, if you have to come again next year, I won't take your father.

Liu: Can we still go with you?

Zhao Benshan: You two tell me the truth at once. Your sister-in-law came this year. I'm talking to the light. I want Hua Cuo for every penny ~ ~ ~

Liu Xiaoguang: ~ ~ For God's sake, Mr. Liu Laosi didn't spend a penny.

Tian Wa: My father did nothing but catch fish.

Zhao Benshan: What did you do? Ah, get up.

Liu: get up, you don't have to kneel down for him ~

Zhao Benshan: What did you do?

Tian Wa: Fishing ~ fishing.

Zhao Benshan: Did you catch the fish in the hot spring?

Tian Wa: Yes, the one who chewed his leg.

Zhao Benshan: By the way, if you ask me, you child, how did you ~? What's the use of fishing that fish?

Tian Wa: I didn't want to catch it. As soon as you put it in the pool, the fish floated up. When I saw it, I bit your leg and was poisoned. I am afraid that others will punish you. I kindly took a plastic bag and brought it back.

Zhao Benshan: You took it home. Is it useful?

Tian Wa: No way. I thought you liked fried fish sauce.

Zhao Benshan: What's wrong with the fish sauce that chews legs? [ 1]

Tian Wa: Ah.

Zhao Benshan: God. By the way, that fish is very expensive, wife. That's training, one takes 1000 and ten takes 10000. How many did you catch?

Tian Wa: More than a dozen.

Zhao Benshan: That's right.

Tian Wa: It's not that expensive. I asked around. One hundred dollars can buy a bunch.

Liu: Will you stop it? How hard do you work? You finally did the right thing. ~ ~ ~ What are you doing ~! !

Haiyan: Well, I have a new understanding of you.

Zhao Benshan: No, don't be your wife and don't listen to his nonsense. I'm telling you, let's not do this. You should know my character. I was confused by what they said. Let's not worry about getting angry. I don't want money. I won't take this bath in the future. I won't eat for a year, okay? From now on.

Haiyan: Wash it off!

Zhao Benshan: Who is it? ~ What the hell?

Tian Wa: No idea.

Liu: Big Brother is your ringtone, right?

Zhao Benshan: Huh? Who's calling here? This is the birth number.

Liu: Brother Shenghao can't. Can I go out and get it?

Zhao Benshan: Don't worry, wife. Let's put it on speaker. Let's hear it. Who is it, you, the washing machine? I don't even wash it.

Wu Jingli on the phone: Lao Zhao, today is New Year's Day. Such a big temper?

Zhao Benshan: Who are you?

On the phone: This is General Manager Wu.

Zhao Benshan: You, Mr. Wu ~ ~ ... Ah ~ Oh ~ Oh, sorry, boss Wu, hello!

Wu Jingli on the phone: Lao Zhao, do you know that you won the lottery?

Zhao Benshan: I ~ I ... I know this has nothing to do with winning the prize. Now, I can't tell you one thing when I get back. My wife put this piece away on the same day ~ Well, my wife told you ... ~ Be polite ... [2]

Haiyan: Hey, that general manager Wu?

Wu Jingli on the phone: Hey, hello, sister-in-law.

Haiyan: Hello, thank you. You take good care of us. Your big brother said you came back to take him to take a bath. Are you willing to spend money? Lead the three of them to spend 12 thousand.

Wu Jingli on the phone: Ah, sister-in-law, have you misunderstood? I invited 60 people from our construction site and 60 migrant workers. I thought of the Spring Festival and told them to take a bath and go home clean.

Zhao Benshan: Boss Wu, how many people did you say?

Wu Jingli said on the phone: 60 people went to our construction site.

Zhao Benshan: Sixty people? Then why don't we watch it?

Wu Jingli on the phone: You went in batches. You were the last one.

Zhao Benshan: God, this is ridiculous. Sixty people, I'll turn around. Can I get the ticket for you? Is this the money you spent?

Wu Jingli on the phone: Brother Lao Zhao, I watched TV. You left the next day. What if you left the night before? Maybe I won't win this prize.

Zhao Benshan: Right ~!

Wu Jingli on the phone: So I think it's your luck. Deal with the money yourself!

Zhao Benshan: Oh, good. Thank you, Mr Wu. Jesus, Wu Jingli! Oh, my God.

Wu Jingli on the phone: I remember ~

Zhao Benshan: Huh?

Wu Jingli said on the phone: Bring me that invoice before you come back.

Zhao Benshan: Thank you. Finally. Let's celebrate the New Year for you. I wish you a successful career in the new year. ~ ~ ~ may be abandoned ~ ... Oh, my God, sixty people, sixty people! This guy messed me up. One person is 200,261.20,000.

Haiyan: My wife.

Zhao Benshan: What?

Haiyan: Come here.

Zhao Benshan: What are you doing?

Haiyan: I have three words for you ~ ~ ~ Sorry ~ ~ I was wrong. [2]

Zhao Benshan: That's not right. Don't do it again. ~ ... What are you staring at, not going home?

Haiyan: I'm afraid you can't learn well if you go far.

Tian Wa: What for?

Liu: ... Go home ~ ...

Tian Wa: Didn't you hear that the invoice won the prize? We washed it together.

Liu: Right ~ right. I said that big brother, you stop first. Ok, let's split the winnings quickly, shall we?

Zhao Benshan: Winning the prize has nothing to do with you two?

Liu: Why not? Isn't this the prize for the three of us in the shower?

Zhao Benshan: The three of us took a bath. That was the night before. Didn't you leave that night? Then I went upstairs and fell asleep. When I got up in the morning, the waiter asked me to check out. After I said that our boss spent money, he said that it would cost seven yuan to drink an extra bottle of mineral water. Then you gave me the receipt, and the seven dollars won the prize.

Liu: Take the seven dollars. I say we share the winnings right away.

Zhao Benshan: Why did you do that? Old four, do you still want to rob money? What did General Manager Wu say? Mr. Wu said that this money is my luck, let me handle it myself.

Tian Wa: No! Wu always said this, saying, you can handle it yourself. You are you. Don't you still have friends?

Liu: Isn't it just the two of us?

Haiyan: OK, my wife. I know, Lao Si is right, not only you three fans, but also 57 fans. Sixty fans, sixty families, split equally. 10,000 per person, so that everyone can have a good year. Now the government's policies are better and our farmers are getting rich. Wife, money is not the problem, money and toys are not the most important, but feelings are the most important. Go on ~ ~ ~ ...

Zhao Benshan: Sure, share it.

Liu: well, ho ho ~

Tian Wa: No, what are you doing?

Zhao Benshan: What are you doing?

Liu: I miss your mother.