Tease girls with jokes.

1. A friend tried to sell popsicles in the park for the first time, but he shouted awkwardly and dared not speak. Suddenly someone shouted, "sell popsicles ~ sell popsicles ~". Hearing this, my friend was happy and shouted back loudly, "Me too. Me too. 2. A boy has a crush on a girl for a long time and is afraid to speak. One day, he finally got up the courage to ask the girl, "What kind of boy do you like?" The girl hit it off. The boy was very discouraged and left, so he said, "What's good about a boy with a round head? Can't a boy with a flat head? "One day, I caught the last bus out of breath and shouted," Master! Master! Wait a minute ~ "and the driver turned a deaf ear. Just when I was about to lose heart, suddenly a passenger leaned his head out of the window and said to me slowly, "Wukong, you are much faster than the car." Stop chasing. "4. After the beautiful Mongolian girl finished her performance, the leader came to the stage to meet her, then held her hand and asked her questions. She spent a long time with this greasy leader, when the leader kindly asked her, "What's your name? I saw this girl and replied excitedly, "Maragabi let go." "The doctor asked the patient how he got himself into this. The patient replied, "I felt sand in my shoes, so I shook my shoes at the telephone pole." "As a result, a person passing by. He thought I was electrocuted, so he picked up a stick and hit me twice, that's all. 6. Two people go to the mountain to play. A man accidentally fell off a cliff. His companion shouted anxiously, "how are you, big brother?" What's the problem? " I only heard the man answer, "I don't know what happened. I am still falling. Ah ~ ~ ~ "7. A fashionable woman got on the bus. When she was free, she took out a paper towel and wiped it for a while. She was just about to sit down and fart. 8. A boy and his girlfriend went shopping. After walking for a long time, the girl felt tired and spoiled her boyfriend: "Dear, my feet are so sour!" " The boyfriend listened and asked nervously, "What's the matter? Did you step on a lemon? " (It's definitely a classic pick-up joke, it's just lemon essence. ) 9. A gentleman didn't dare to open his eyes when flying for the first time. 15 minutes later, he opened his eyes, looked out of the window and shouted, "Oh, flying so high, people are like ants!" "At this moment, the neighbor said slowly," Actually, it's an ant. The plane has not taken off yet. " 10, the teacher asked to write a composition with the theme of "a corner of the campus" to describe the scenery of the campus. I'm sure everyone wrote it when they were young. I didn't expect my idiot brother to write: I found a dime while playing on campus today. This is a corner of the campus. I can't stand it! So I turned and left, waiting for the host to turn around and come back to find a corner of the campus. As a result, the idiot brother went home at 0: 00, and my dad found out and was beaten again. 1 1. After breaking up with my girlfriend, I spent a lot of time drinking to relieve my troubles. For a long time, relatives and friends couldn't stand it. Today, they finally got up the courage to ask me, "When will you return the wine you lent us?" Teasing girls 2 1. Man: You are very cute today. Woman: Really? M: But not as cute as me. Man: I love you. 2. M: I had a nightmare last night. Woman: What nightmare? M: A dream without you is a nightmare. 3. W: Is this how you pick up girls? M: I learned the routine, but you are sincere; Or: only you have this qualification, okay? I like you very much without your permission. I'm sorry. 5. M: I have super powers. Woman: What powers? M: I like you very much. 6. I'm really sorry if the routine comes to you. 7. No matter whether you are gray-green or pink-white, I only have eyes for you. I loved you very much yesterday, and I don't want to love you today, but when I woke up, I found that the person I loved was you. Only you are strawberry 10. Man: I found someone secretly loves you. Woman: Who is it? M: I'm 1 1. M: Remember your identity. Woman: What's your status? Man: Your identity is mine 12. Man: I like a woman: then she must be beautiful, right? Man: Are you too narcissistic? 13. M: Why does the electric fan shake its head? W: I don't know. Man: He told me not to give up loving you. 14. M: I want to give a suggestion. W: What advice? Man: Stay with me. 15. M: Do you want to know how to be happy? Female: Yes, male: First of all, your object is me, 16, my childhood withered, and all the people I fell in love with from now on are like you, 17, white tea, and nothing else. I am waiting for the wind, waiting for you. 18, m: What you need is someone who is even interested in your nonsense. Woman: What man: I am 19, the moon under the sea is the moon in the sky, and the person in front of me is my sweetheart. 20. I want to have three meals in the same room with you in the future. There is a barbecue stall downstairs. The boss is bald, with tattoos all over his arms and a face of lost face. Because there are leftovers every day, the boss feeds stray cats and dogs on the roadside from time to time. As a result, when it was dark, all the cats and dogs at the door stood at the door waiting to be fed. Then every day, we watched the boss running around the store door to coax them away: "Come back at night ... it's not closed yet ... come back, come back ... I'll cry for you ..." Second, someone learned that he was fired by the company and went to see the person in charge of the human resources department and said, "I have worked in the company for so long, and now I have to let go, at least give me a letter of recommendation. The supervisor nodded and immediately wrote him a letter of recommendation. He took it and read it. It said, "I worked in our company for ten years. When he left, we were all satisfied. I work in a hospital, so someone has to stay for the New Year. It's three o'clock in the morning. Hungry at work. I just got takeout from the takeaway brother. I said, "It's hard work, and I have to send takeout during the New Year." My little brother smiled and said to me, "You should work hard and eat takeout during the Chinese New Year. "4." Home is the only comfortable place where you can be ugly. "5. Just now, a friend called me and asked me that she was going on a date. What clothes should he wear to look young? I thought about it and wanted to tell him: wear open-backed pants ... to show off. Teacher: Xiaoming, why are you late? Xiaoming: Because my father was drunk yesterday. Teacher: Are you late because you took Dad home? Xiao Ming: No, my father's lover sent him back. Teacher: Then why are you late? Xiao Ming: My mother saw my father take him home, so she got into a fight with my father's lover. Then my father fell downstairs and broke his hand. Teacher: So you are late because you took your father to the hospital? Xiaoming: I didn't take my father to the hospital. It was his secretary who took my father to the hospital. Teacher: Then what's the real reason for your being late? _? Xiaoming: My alarm clock is broken. It didn't ring this morning Teacher: Does the above have anything to do with your being late? Xiao Ming: Never mind! I just mentioned it casually. I called a drip cart yesterday, and a big BMW arrived. The driver had a big waist and a big gold chain, and talked with me all the way. He said: "I am a relocated household, with 4 houses and 5 million deposits. I love how much TM can fall, because I don't buy it! "I have a car and a house, and I have my own career. I want to be my own boss and be my own freedom. No one can order me except my father. " I said, "Turn left ahead." He said: "Well ... Eight, there are still many children's shoes wrong in the math class, so the teacher is angry:" Such a simple question is for you, you don't want it. " A female classmate replied strongly: "My mother said it wasn't mine. "Nine," Confucius said, "there are things you include. When you do this, you will be very happy; If you can't, you can't sleep like being chased by the devil. " Yan Hui said, "Confucius said poetry? Confucius said: "I said shit! "Confucius was troubled by constipation every day, this morning. Defecation is really a science, which requires great wisdom and tactical skills. For these skills, Confucius said: "Don't teach unless you are indecent. ".10. My wife won't let me smoke, I quit smoking, my wife won't let me drink, I quit drinking, my wife won't let me see jokes, and I change wives.