Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Look for sketches of safety production types in factory workshops.
Look for sketches of safety production types in factory workshops.
Two Contrastive (Crosstalk) Text on Safe Production/Mo Zhai Hermit A Everyone has hobbies. B Yes, some people cry. Some people like to laugh. Some people like to play. Some people like to make trouble. B Some people like diving. A, some people love hanging! B hanged himself? You have already dived, so I'm not going to hang myself. B what! Diving is a sport! One hanged himself. That's a competition! B never heard of it! Also hanged himself in the game? A: How come you don't even know how to hang yourself? Even if two ropes are tied twice, people will trip over them. Is that hanging? It's called a ring! A Yes, put on the rings and hang yourself! B's ridiculous. Just kidding. B tell jokes. I found that our hobbies have a lot in common. Yes, we are a couple! A Yes, for example, I like literature and art. B Then I like acrobatics. A I like dancing. B I like playing drums. A I like beef. B I like mutton soup. I like safety. B I love work-related injuries! Ahem! A: If you say so, are we really a couple? B yes. We were inseparable! A So I'm on duty? B I will watch. Can I see the warehouse? B I will steal! Answer? ! B ... I will catch the thief! How about a? You are not stupid. B you're not stupid either. Let's abide by the rules and discipline. B, let's guess 1 A? Two profiteers! You didn't mean it! B I didn't express my meaning. What you said is not appropriate. B I often feel stupid! Me? A: Yes, yes, yes! B didn't tell you to run! A, if you don't run, you will always be stupid! B don't look down on me yet. A doesn't look down on you, but you have a problem with me! B that's not true. I tell you, as long as you can say it, I can answer it! A really? So let's talk about it? B let's talk about it. I have a message? B I have to speak English. I mean, east? B I will play the west! I want Santa's? B I can drive an Audi. I eat orange petals! B I chew watermelon skin! What is wrong with me? Anyway, as long as you say a black one, I can tell you a white one. Oh? So I should say a good one? B I will tell you some bad things. A I was right. B I said the opposite. I said it was safe. B I said it was dangerous. A: Yes, it is dialectics. This is the theory of contradiction. A let's make a comparison. B let's make a comparison. A provides typical. B for reference only. A let everyone have a look! B let's have a look! A is true, and B is true! A the price is not high. B wholesale is cheaper! Where can I buy rat poison? You haven't been infected with B? Anyway, as long as you can say a positive, I can say a negative A. Can't you say it? B will punish you! A no regrets? B will never break his word! As long as I'm right? B I will say the opposite! A: That's ... it started. B it's starting to open. What do you mean it's already started? B I practice. Get ready! B, get ready. A-B-A said! B ... you exercise! A: You are talking anyway! You can't say that. Remember our rules! B that's right! All right, stop chatting. Book b returns to the topic. One morning a said. One day. I walked out of the house. B I ran away. I want to go to the factory. B I walked into the workshop. I clean the lathe. B I smoke a lot! A is taking drugs? B ... I have a cigarette. A: Hey, fireworks are strictly prohibited in the fireworks workshop! Oh, don't worry, I don't have a fire, just cigarettes. What about Jiahe? B was confiscated by the security inspector. What are you doing? B I'd love to. Do you care? A: OK, OK, OK. I operate a lathe. B I kick the switch. I'll fix the parts. B I'm going to fight tigers in the mountains! A Yang Zi Rong? B I practice my voice! I operate carefully. B, I'm accelerating! Safety is my motto. System b was ignored. A: That's not true! We had a deal! A: You're too careless. You broke the rules! B I never care about the security system! A aren't you afraid of work-related injuries? B, I'm afraid of death, so I dare not go against you! You are very brave. B I is still very strong. First, something will happen to you! B impossible! A: I focus on the operation. B I'm in a hurry to get around. Swish, I finished it safely! Oh, my right hand is finished! Cough. A Is there a problem? B, can I be safe if you run on me like this? A still blame me? B sure! We'll talk about it later. A line. One afternoon. It is another day. Everyone has a meeting. B I run around. A rabbit? B that's all right. I go for a walk. A: We have set an index called "47". B I told a rule called 248. I decided to publish the list. Flowers are blooming in my bar! Gambling? B Aren't you 147? I think this is a safety indicator: nothing is four, and seven is not allowed! What is that? B I don't understand. A keep coming. B: Go ahead. I think it's the warehouse. B I work the night shift. I guard against theft and fire. B I smells like alcohol. I am very vigilant. B I is spinning in the same place. I do things in an orderly way, and I see Venus running around. I'll lock the warehouse door. B I grabbed the high-voltage line! I'm full! A Who told you to go to work after drinking? Ok, I see. All right, let you take it all? No, let's switch, I said you, you said me! A, something will happen if you change it. B Maybe it's your turn! First, start? B no! I'll talk first this time. You just entered the factory ... you haven't worked long. B Yes, you are full of energy. A, you are seriously injured and dead! B how to speak? I switch and it's over? Does it make sense? Change words! Emirates, your morale is high! B that's more like it. You are smart and capable. First, you won't live long. Here we go again! No, you are broad-minded. B: Ah. You are diligent and curious. You wander around. B you only think the working hours are short, and a you are not afraid of long overtime hours. B I rob the mission! A You play mahjong! B, you work hard and start early. You are just so-so. If you follow this system, you can work safely. A you are careless and can't waste! B that's technology. Guang Jia has a work-related injury! B: Hey! You were rated as advanced in the year-end assessment. At the end of the year, A commented that you were "praised". By the way, you praised me too! You have a flag. You got a certificate of merit. B There are four characters written on your banner-"safety model"! A: You also wrote four big letters on your "certificate": b What? An "accident king"! B me? Respondents: Enthusiastic users | April 2009-1416: 45 Time: Contemporary location: Family members: Huizi-male-factory worker's brother-male-factory safety administrator Ruth-female-a factory safety administrator, Huizi's girlfriend. Environment: There are several desks and chairs, a TV set and flowers in the vase. (Hui Quan, in the room): (Singing a little sadly) "I said I love you yesterday, but I hate you today. I am like a flower blown to the ground by the wind, falling in love with you for what, falling in love with you for what, and being abandoned for what. " . . . . . . "Brother Quan: Hui Zi, you sing so sadly. Are you lovelorn? Keiko: Hey! I secretly smoked a cigarette in the non-smoking section of the factory the day before yesterday, because I was addicted for a while. I showed it to you, saying that it must be fined 100 yuan according to the regulations. This is terrible. My girlfriend is also a security administrator. After she found out, she met me on the road without even looking at her eyes. I bought flowers several times, but she ignored me. What do you think I can do? Brother Quan: Huizai, you and I have been friends for many years. Needless to say, you know that I am the safety manager of the factory. Of course, if you violate the rules and regulations, you will be punished. It's also to give you a deeper understanding. All right, I'll give you a plan. Maybe she will make up with you. Huizai: Hehe, old friends who have been together for several years are not entangled. What's the plan? Brother Quan: I heard that your girlfriend's factory is going to hold a literary activity to promote smoking ban recently. Huizi was a famous literary backbone of the whole school at that time. If you can help her do a good job in promoting the ban on smoking, I think you will have a chance to make up with her. (Eiko, call at the door, Baiyun, are you there? ) Brother Quan: Is this Eiko? That's a true story. Speak of the devil. Huizi: (a little surprised and flustered) Yes, yes, Eiko is here. I'll get the door. Eiko: (waving a fan in front of his face) Why are you still smoking? This is a bad habit. Keiko: It's good of you to come, Eiko. what can I do for you? Eiko: You are so beautiful! I came to see your sister Baiyun. Keiko: My sister said she would go to class tonight and won't be back until 9: 30. Would you please wait here? Oh, I want you to meet my old classmate. His name is Quan Ge, and he is the safety manager of the factory. Eiko: Hello, Brother Quan. Brother Quan: Hello, my name is Quan. I heard Huizai say that you are also the safety manager of the factory, and you are going to hold a literary activity to promote smoking ban. How's it going? (Brother Quan sends tea before talking to Eiko, saying that Eiko drinks tea. ) eiko: thank you. Brother Quan, I'm worried about this problem. I really don't know how to do it. Can you give me some advice? Brother Quan: (Laughter) Look, there is not a literary propagandist in this room, and he has good experience, so don't you ask him? Eiko: Who is it? Brother Quan: (laughs) Huizai. Eiko: Hum, he, I don't care about her. Who told him to violate the rules and discipline and criticize and fine the leaders? Huizi: (a little foolishly) I was wrong about Yinghe. (pause) Just now, I heard you say that we should hold a literary activity to promote smoking ban. I thought about it. Why don't we hold a prize-winning activity, publish some couplets of poems, and post them for everyone to participate in the couplets, which may be concise and entertaining. How's it going? Brother Quan: OK, Eiko. I told you Huizi had an idea. Eiko: Good is good, but Huizi, why don't you tell me some couplets first? Huizai: (Laughter) Okay, listen, the first part is "throwing hands and throwing RMB; "Eiko: What is the second couplet? Go ahead, go ahead. Brother Quan: I tell you, the second couplet is "smoking nicotine and spitting nicotine". "Eiko: Wow, this is really an interesting couplet to show that smoking is not only a waste of money, but also harmful to health. Huizai: What's more, it is said that Qi Baishi always carried a pipe and a cigarette case with him when he was young. Every time he paints, he always smokes a few cigarettes first. Later, at the suggestion of a friend, he decided to quit smoking and wrote a pair of couplets to quit smoking: you have heard that "smoke goes with water;" "Poetry comes from the belly." Eiko: Qi Baishi's poems are really the finishing touch. You were right when I came out. "Faith is what people say, and people should be trusted. You must keep your promise. " Brother Quan: Haha, I know this is a carefully written spelling couplet written by a wife who repeatedly persuaded her lover to quit smoking. Let me say the next sentence, "Smoking is the cause of fire, so smoking is a common phenomenon and fire should be stopped." Huizi: OK, it's interesting to be neat and tidy. (turns to Eiko) Aren't you angry with me? Eiko: I won't be angry with you if you can match the following couplets. If you can't do it well, just. . . . . Hui Zi: (laughs) All right, you go ahead. Eiko: Listen to the couplets (take out a pair of couplets made of red cloth and hold them high with your hands): "Smoke flies, fog flies and dreams are right or wrong; Right? Keiko: (feeling a little cold) It's a little difficult, a little difficult. How can this be right? Brother Quan, help the younger brother, help the younger brother, hurry up, or you'll really break the pot. Brother Quan: Keiko, I really don't know what to do now. Nothing can be done, nothing can be done. Eiko (laughs): Well, Huizi allows you to sign up with the leaders and employees present below. Keiko: Really, all right. (Speaking to the stage) Leaders, uncles, aunts, big brothers and big sisters, please do your best to help Wang hoop the pot. My couplet has a prize. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Later people said couplets. Huizai: (holding a pair of bottom couplets made of red cloth) Look at the couplets. "The longer you stay, the more worried I am." Brother Quan: Huizai, you earned it. The words "flying", "not", "leisure" and "worry" in couplets are homophonic, humorous, profound and intriguing. Huizi: Eiko, how good is this couplet? Do you forgive me? Eiko: Not bad! Wonderful pen brings flowers, but you must obey the law and work safely from now on. Huizi: Eiko, we are a little tired after a night of drama performance. I, I'd like to invite you to the Green Island Cafe for coffee. Eiko: (stands up from his chair and slightly raises his left hand with a little coquetry) He hasn't come yet. Like a stupid goose. Keiko: Yes, yes. (Pick up the flowers on the table and give them to Eiko, holding Eiko's left hand with his right hand, and walk backstage together, then wave back to the audience and say) Goodbye! Bye. Brother Quan: Huizai, you don't even care about your old friends. You really value sex more than friends. (Walking backstage)
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