Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - A few English jokes and some English proverbs
A few English jokes and some English proverbs
Many years after receiving my graduate degree, I returned to new york State University in Binghamton as a faculty member. One day, in a crowded elevator, someone commented on its inefficiency. I said that the elevator hasn't changed for 20 years since I went to school there.
When the door finally opened, I felt someone pat me on the back sympathetically and turned to see an elderly nun smiling at me. "You'll get your degree, dear," she whispered. "Perseverance is a virtue."
virtue
Many years after receiving my graduate degree, I returned to new york State University in Binghamton as a faculty member. One day, the elevator was very crowded, and some people complained that the elevator was too inefficient. I said that the elevator hasn't been changed for 20 years since I went to school there.
Finally, when the elevator door opened, I felt someone pat me on the back sympathetically. Looking back, I saw an elderly nun smiling at me. "You'll get your degree, dear," she whispered. "Perseverance is a virtue."
2. Difference
"I can always tell the difference between a graduate class and an undergraduate class," said the teacher who taught my graduate engineering class at California State University in Los Angeles. "When I say' good afternoon', college students will answer' good afternoon'. "But graduate students just write it down."
differentiate
"It's easy to tell the difference between graduate classes and undergraduates," said the teacher who taught us graduate engineering at California State University in Los Angeles. "I said' good afternoon' and the undergraduates answered' good afternoon'. The graduate student wrote down what I said in the notebook. "
3. Too long
The travel editor of a newspaper called and said that she would finally use an article I wrote a few years ago. She wants to make sure that the tourist information is still correct. "I also want Ted to make sure," she admitted shyly, "that you are still alive. Whenever a writer dies, I know that I have put off a story for too long. "
too long
The travel editor of a newspaper opened the phone and said that she had finally decided to adopt an article I wrote a few years ago. She wants to make sure that the tourist information is still reliable. "I want to make sure," she admitted timidly, "that you are still alive. Every time I find that the author is no longer alive, I know that I have been pressing the article for too long. "
4. The cost of bread and butter
A few years ago, my father, a lawyer, took me to a fancy restaurant in new york. When the bill arrived, there was $65,438 plus 0.50 for bread and butter. Dad paid the bill, including bread and butter. However, the next day, he sent a letter to the restaurant, claiming that the charge was unreasonable. The same envelope contains a bill for legal services of $500.
A man in the restaurant immediately called and asked, "What's this 500-dollar bill for? We have never ordered any legal services. "
Dad replied, "I have never ordered bread and butter."
65438 USD +0.50 GBP will be returned immediately.
Bread and butter fee
A few years ago, my father, a lawyer, took me to an upscale restaurant in new york. When the bill came in, it was $65,438 plus 0.50 for bread and butter. Dad paid the bill and the cost of bread and butter. But the next day, he sent a letter to the restaurant saying that the charge was unreasonable. I also sent you a bill of 500 dollars for legal services.
The restaurant immediately called and asked, "What is this 500 yuan? We have never asked for the services of any legal institution. "
Dad replied, "I never asked for bread or butter."
$ 1.5 Send it back immediately.
5. Sleeping pills
Bob can't sleep at night. He went to see a doctor, who prescribed some powerful sleeping pills.
On Sunday night, Bob took the medicine, slept well and woke up before he heard the alarm clock go off. He came to the office unhurriedly, strolled in and said to his boss, "I had no trouble getting up this morning."
"That's good," roared the boss, "but where were you on Monday and Tuesday?"
sleeping pill
Bob has insomnia at night. He went to see a doctor, who prescribed him some powerful sleeping pills.
Bob took the medicine on Sunday night, slept well and woke up before the alarm clock went off. He arrived at the office, strolled in and said to the boss, "I didn't have any trouble getting up this morning."
"good!" The boss roared, "Where did you go on Monday and Tuesday?"
Complete works of English proverbs
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Every bird likes to hear him sing. Birds like to hear themselves sing.
Bring your own bread every day. God won't close one door, but he will open another.
Everyone is the architect of his own destiny. Each man is the architect of his own fate.
Eagles cannot catch flies. Big people don't care about small things.
Eagles fly alone and flocks of sheep. Eagles fly alone and gather in groups.
Early mistakes are the seeds of future troubles. Early mistakes will lead to future troubles.
Sow early and reap early. Sow early and reap early.
It's easy to start early. Early start makes easy stages.
Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise. Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise.
Marry early and die early. Early marriage and early death.
It's easier said than done. It's easier said than done.
East or west, home is the best. It's good to be at home for a thousand days, but it's always difficult to go out.
Easy come, easy go. Easy come, easy go.
Eat to your heart's content and drink in moderation. Eat at will and drink moderately.
Eat your own cake and have it. Want horses to be good, but don't eat grass.
Eat to live, but live not to eat. Eat to live, but live not to eat.
Eat to please yourself, wear to please others. Eating is to help yourself, and dressing is to help others.
Education begins with a gentleman, and conversation ends with a gentleman. Human education begins with education and ends with socialization.
The purpose of education is to mold character. The purpose of education is to cultivate moral quality.
Elbow oil has the best polishing effect. Elbow grease gives the best polish.
Empty containers make the loudest sound. Empty barrels make a loud noise.
Enough is like a feast. A contented mind is perpetual feast.
Jealousy attacks nobles, how the wind bypasses the highest peak. The high position is enviable, and the peak is attractive.
Vagueness is a close relative of lies. If you hesitate, your words will be deceptive.
Mistakes are like straws flowing on the surface; If you want to find pearls, you must dive underwater. Mistakes are like straws, floating on the water. He who wants to find pearls must dive into the water.
No man is wise at all times. It is human nature to make mistakes.
Wall has ears. Wall has ears.
Every advantage has its disadvantages. Every coin has its two sides.
No one is perfect. Everyone has his shortcomings.
Every bird likes its own nest. People love their homes.
Everyone's business is nobody's business. Everyone cares, but nobody cares.
Every brave man is a man who keeps his promise. A brave man is a man who keeps his promise.
Every bullet has a bill. There is no smoke without fire.
Every dark cloud has a silver lining. There is no doubt that there is no way out and there is another village.
Every cock crows on its own dunghill. A cock is valiant on his own dunghill.
Every chef praises his soup. Blow your own horn.
Every country has its own customs. There are local customs in the countryside.
Not every couple is a couple. Strange bedfellows, looks are inseparable.
Not every day is Sunday. Good times don't last long, and good flowers don't bloom often.
Every day in your life is a page in your history. A day in your life is a page in your history.
Everyone has his day. Everyone has his day.
Everyone has his day. Everyone has his day.
Every dog is a lion at home.
Every dog is brave at his own door. Dogs are fierce at home.
Every door can be closed except the door of death. All doors can be closed except the dead door.
Every extreme is a mistake. Everything is too much and wrong.
Every fool can find mistakes that a wise man can't remedy. Fools can find shortcomings that smart people can't make up for.
Everyone has his own sadness. Everyone has a sad place.
Every horse thinks his bag is heavy. Every horse thinks his bag is heavy.
Every Jack has his Jill. All shall be well, jack shall have Jill.
Every little makes a mickle, every little makes a muckle, and every little makes a muckle.
Every lover will see considerate elegance in the beloved object. Love is blind.
Everyone has a fool in his sleeve. He was clever all his life, but he was confused for a moment.
Everyone has shortcomings. Everyone has shortcomings.
Everyone has his own hobbies. Everyone has his own taste.
Everyone has his own preferences. Everyone has his own taste.
Everyone has his weak side. Everyone has his own weaknesses.
Everyone knows him best. You know yourself best.
Everyone has his own quality defects. A person's excellent qualities also have shortcomings.
Everyone is the architect of his own destiny. Everyone is the architect of his own destiny.
Everyone is the master of his own destiny. Everyone is the master of his own destiny.
Everyone is the son of his own work. No pains, no gains.
Everyone thinks his goose is a swan. Everyone thinks his stuff is great.
Every medal has a reverse side. Everything has its opposite.
Every mother's child is different. Lao Wang sells melons to brag.
Everyone is dissatisfied with his fate. Man will never be satisfied with his fate.
Everyone's fault is not written on his forehead.
Every kind of happiness has pain.
Every Potter praises his pot. Lao Wang sells melons to brag.
Every salesman has his own warship. Lao Wang sells melons to brag.
Not every pair of shoes fits every foot. You can't judge a book by its cover.
Many things happen. Just wait with peace of mind.
Everything has seeds. There is no smoke without fire.
Everything has its time, and this time must be paid attention to. Everything has a good time, don't let it go at will.
Everything has an end. Everything has a result.
Everything is good in its season. It's beautiful at any time.
Things are new and good, but friends are old and good. Things are new and good, but friends are old and good.
Everything in your garden is fine. Lao Wang sells melons to brag.
Everything must have a beginning. Everything has its origin.
Any new one will do. Everything new is fine.
The tide rises and falls.
Every tree is known by its own fruit. Know a person by his words and deeds.
Everything happens for a reason. Everything happens for a reason.
When evil comes, push your feet and retreat. E Lai, stamped out.
Evil communication corrupts good manners. Bad communication is bad for manners.
What goes around comes around, and what goes around comes around. In and out.
Practice is better than precept. Example is better than words.
Exchange is not robbery. Fair trade is not a seizure.
Exercise, temperance, fresh air, and needful rest are the best of all physicians. Exercise, temperance, fresh air, and needful rest are the best of all physicians.
Experience is a school that can never graduate. The experience is endless.
Experience is the best teacher. Experience is a good teacher.
Experience is the father of wisdom and memory the mother. Experience is the father of knowledge, and memory is the mother of knowledge.
Experience is the mother of wisdom. Experience is the mother of wisdom.
Experience is a high-cost school, but tools are not here. It costs a lot of money to learn well at a loss, and even fools have to learn well in this school.
Experience does not keep the school, she teaches her students alone. Personal experience is experience.
Experience must be bought. If you want to gain experience, you must pay the price.
An experienced teacher. Lessons learned.
Experience without learning is better than learning without experience. Experience without learning is better than learning without experience.
Extremes are dangerous. The poles meet.
The poles meet. No, it's fine.
An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth. An eye for an eye.
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