Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Chapter 24 Journey to the West

Chapter 24 Journey to the West

Back to Wanshou Mountain on the 24th, Daxian stayed with his old friends to watch Monkey steal the ginseng.

When three people were walking through the forest, they saw an idiot lying on a tree, shouting, and the pain was unbearable. Monkey stepped forward and said with a smile, "Good son-in-law! Sooner or later, you won't get up to thank your loved ones or give good news to Master. You're still selling your son here to play tricks! Duh! Where is your mother? Where is your wife? What a son-in-law! " When the idiot came to rob the white, he was ashamed, gritted his teeth, and endured the pain and dared not shout. Friar Sand couldn't bear to see the boss, so he put down his luggage and untied the rope to save him. Fools just kowtow to them, but they are ashamed. There is a song "Xijiang Moon" as proof: color is a sword that hurts the body, and greed will suffer. Beauty looks good in makeup, which is more fierce than hag. There is only one original, and there is no small profit to add to the bag. Make good use of capital and insist on abstinence and debauchery. Eight pigeons collect soil and burn incense, looking up to heaven to worship. Walker way:

"Do you know those bodhisattvas?" Pig said, "I have fainted, and my eyes are dim. Who do you know? " Monkey handed the note to Pig, who was even more ashamed when he saw that it was a eulogy. Friar Sand said with a smile, "Second Brother has such an advantage. I feel that all four Bodhisattvas have come to marry you!" "Brother," said the pig, "don't mention it again, you are not the son of man! From now on, I dare not do anything anymore. Even if you break a bone, you just rub your shoulders and bear a burden. You can go to the Western Regions with Master. " "That's right," Sanzang said.

Monkey led the master to the road. After a long walk, I suddenly saw a high mountain blocking the road. Sanzang restrained his whip and said, "Disciple, you should be careful of the mountain ahead, lest evil spirits invade our party." "There are three people in front of the horse," Monkey said. . "What are we afraid of?" Therefore, the elders moved forward with peace of mind. I saw that mountain. It's really a good mountain: it's extremely steep and magnificent. It is rooted in the Kunlun Mountains and located in the middle of Han Xiao. Every time the crane comes to perch on the cypress, the ape is mysterious and hangs vines. The sun shines on the sunny forest, surrounded by red fog; The wind gives birth to a shady valley, floating like a cloud. Birds are singing in the green bamboo, and golden pheasants are fighting wild flowers. I saw the Millennium Peak, Five Blessingg Peak and Furong Peak, towering and shining; Long live stone, tiger tooth stone, three-pointed stone, and sudden phosphorus and phosphorus produce auspicious gas. The grass in front of the cliff is beautiful, and the plum fragrance on the ridge. There are many thorns, but Lan Zhi is very light. In the deep forest, eagles gather thousands of birds, and in the ancient cave, Kirin controls all kinds of animals. There is love in the water, winding; Since a week ago, the peaks have been overlapping. See also the green locust, spotted bamboo and pine that have struggled for thousands of years; Three spring Bai Mei, hearts and green willows are blooming. Dragons sing and tigers roar, cranes dance and apes crow. Elk blooms, and Qingluan sings to the sun. But fairy mountain is really blessed. Penglai and Yuen Long are like this. Look at the flowers and thank the mountains, and the clouds go to the clouds to climb the peak. Sanzang immediately rejoiced and said, "Disciple, as soon as I came to the Western Heaven, I experienced many landscapes, all of which were steep and even less beautiful than this mountain. This is really very interesting. If it's not far from Lei Yin, you can wash the end and see the Buddha strictly. " Monkey laughed and said, "Good morning! Good morning! Just can't get it! " Friar Sand asked, "Brother, how far are we from Lei Yin?" "A hundred and eight thousand Li," Monkey said. . "We haven't stopped at ten stops." "Brother, how many years will it take to get it?" Pig asked. "If we are two good brothers, we can reach these roads in ten days," Monkey said. If I go fifty times a day, I will still see the sun; If you want to say that Master has left, don't think about it! " The Tang Priest asked, "Wukong, when did you say you would arrive?" "You have been old since you were a child," Monkey said. "No matter how young you are, it is still difficult to be young when you are old. As long as you sincerely look back, it is Lingshan. " Friar Sand said, "Brother, this isn't Lei Yin, but look at this scenery, there must be a good place to go." "Not bad," Monkey said. . There is no evil here. It must be the hometown of saints and immortals. Let's take our time. "No topic.

It is said that this mountain is called Wanshou Mountain, and there is a scene in the mountain called Wuzhuangguan. There is a statue of a fairy in the view, named Zhen Yuanzi, whose name is the same as the world. The different treasures in the concept were born at the beginning of chaos, when the HarmonyOS system began to judge, and when heaven and earth were not open, this spiritual root came into being. Covering four continents in the world, but this kind of cattle seen in Wucun village of Hezhou is called Hui Dan Cao, also called ginseng fruit. It takes three thousand years to blossom and three thousand years to bear fruit. It will take another thousand years to cook and another ten thousand years to eat. Like this ten thousand years, only thirty fruits have been produced. The fruit looks like a child under the age of three dynasties, with all limbs and salty facial features. If a person is destined to smell the fruit, he will live 360 years; You can live for 47 thousand years by eating one.

On the same day, Zhenyuan Daxian received a post from Yuanshi Tianzun, inviting him to listen to the mixed Yuan Daoguo in the Milo Palace in Shangqing Heaven. There are countless scattered immortals under the Great Immortal Gate. There are still 48 disciples, all of whom are the true Tao. On that day, he led forty-six people to the upper bound to listen to the lecture, leaving two small housekeeping: one is called Qingfeng and the other is called Mingyue.

The breeze is only 1320 years old, and the moon is only 1200 years old. Zhen Yuanzi said to the second boy, "Don't go against the Buddha's letter. You should go to Milo Palace for a lecture. You two should be careful at home. An old friend will pass by in a few days, but don't ignore him. You can play two of my ginseng fruits with him to show your old feelings. " The second boy said, "Who is Master's old friend? I hope I can have a good talk with my disciples and have a good reception. " "He is a holy monk driven by the Tang people in the East," said the Great Fairy. . "His name is Sanzang, and he is a monk who went to the West to worship Buddha and learn Buddhist scriptures." The second boy smiled and said, "Confucius, the Tao is different, no common goal, no common goal." We are Taiyi Xuanmen. How can I know that monk? " "Where did you learn that?" Daxian said. The monk is the reincarnation of Jin Chan, the second disciple of the western sage Tathagata. Five hundred years ago, I met him at the Lanpen meeting. He once offered his own tea, and the Buddha respected me, so it was for an old friend. "The second fairy boy heard the news and obeyed the teacher's orders.

Before leaving, Daxian told him, "I have several fruits, and I can only give two, but I can't spend more." The breeze said, "When the garden was opened, the male ate two, and there were 28 on the tree. I dare not pay more." The immortal said, "Although Tang Sanzang is an old friend, you should be careful of his man Luo Chan, and don't disturb him." When the second boy was appointed, Daxian ascended to heaven with the help of his apprentice.

When the four monks of the Tang Dynasty were playing in the mountains, they suddenly looked up and saw a cluster of pines and cypresses and pavilions with several floors. The Tang Priest asked, "Wukong, where do you see it?" Monkey looked at it and said, "That's not a temple, it must be a temple. We went around and walked to the side of the carriage. " After a while, I came to the door to watch, and I saw the pine slope was cold and the bamboo path was quiet. White cranes send clouds back and forth, and fruits send apes up and down. The pool in front of the door is wide and the shadow of trees is long, and the stone cracks and moss flowers are broken. The palace is extremely high and the balcony is faintly discernible. It's really Fudiling District, Penglai Yundong. Those who are clear are few, and those who are silent are born. Every time Jade Bird sends a letter to the Empress Dowager, Ziluan often sends the classic of the old gentleman. I can't see the lofty moral wind, and I am really a lonely fairy. Sanzang dismounted and saw a monument on the left side of the mountain gate. There are ten big characters on the tablet, which read "Blessed Land of Wanshou Mountain, View Cave in Five Villages". The elder said, "Disciple, it is really a temple." Friar Sand said, "Master, this view is clear, and there must be good people living in it. Let's go in and have a look. If we travel eastward, this will be a scene here. " "Good point," Monkey said. . They all went in together and found a pair of Spring Festival couplets on the second door: Fairy House, which lives with heaven and teaches people. Monkey laughed and said, "This Taoist is bluffing. Five hundred years ago, when my grandson was in heaven, my old gentleman had never seen this on his head. " "Never mind him," Pig said. "Go in. Maybe this Taoist priest has some virtue, but I don't know. "

When I walked to the door of the second floor, I saw two children coming out in a hurry. Look at his clothes: fresh bones, beautiful face, bun and short hair. Road clothes are naturally covered with fog, and feather clothes are covered with sleeves. The ring brocade is tightly wrapped around the faucet knot, and the mango shoes are lightly wrapped with silkworm wool. An extraordinary generation is two fairies, the breeze and the bright moon. The boy leaned down and came out to meet him. "Teacher, Dad, please sit down." The elder was very happy, so he took two boys to the hall to watch. It turned out to be five halls facing south, all of which are carved lattices with upper light and lower dark. Fairy boy pushed open the lattice and invited Tang Priest into the temple. In the middle of the wall, there is a colorful word "heaven and earth", with a scarlet carved candle and a pair of gold vases on it, which is convenient for the fireside to mix incense.

Tang Priest stepped forward, lit incense with his left hand and poured it into the furnace. After three rounds of worship, he turned back and said, "Fairy boy, your view of five villages is really a fairy world in the West. Why don't you support the butchers of Sanqing, Sihuang and Luotian, and only offer incense to heaven and earth? " The boy smiled and said, "To tell the truth to the teacher, these two words belong to the superior, which is quite polite;" The ones below can't stand our fragrance. That's the master's flattered. " "What is flattery?" Sanzang asked. The boy said, "Sanqing is a friend of the mentor, Sihuang is an old friend of the mentor, Jiuyao is a junior of the mentor, and Chen Yuan is a guest of the mentor." Monkey laughed when he heard this. "Brother, what are you laughing at?" Pig asked. "I only said I could play tricks," Monkey said, "so this kid can get around the wind!" "Where's your teacher?" Sanzang asked. The boy said, "My teacher, Yuan Shi Tianzun, invited me to the Mira Palace in Shangqing, and I was not at home." Hearing this, Monkey couldn't help shouting, "What a naughty boy! I don't know anyone You play games in front of it. What an empty shelf! Who is the Taiyi fairy in Miro Palace? Please tell me what you are talking about! " Seeing that he was angry, Sanzang was afraid that the boy would talk back and start fighting. He said, "Wukong, stop fighting." . "We came in and went out. It seems that we have lost our feelings. As the saying goes, egrets don't eat their meat.

Since his teacher is not here, why bother him? You go to the front of the mountain to release your horse, and Friar Sand will guard the luggage, teach Pig to untie the baggage, get some rice, lend him a pot, cook a meal, and give him some firewood when he leaves. Deacon, let me have a rest here, just after dinner. "

The three of them went as the deacon told them.

The moon and the breeze secretly boasted, "Good monk! It is true that the west loves the holy and the secular, and the truth is true. Master ordered us to receive the Tang Priest and eat ginseng fruit with him to show our love for the elderly and to guard against his Monroe Zen. Sure enough, the three faces are fierce and stubborn, and the temperament is rough. Fortunately, they were moved away. If you are on the edge, but you don't meet other ginseng fruits. " "Brother," said the breeze, "I didn't know the monk was an old friend of Master. Ask him, don't be wrong. " The second boy went up to him again and said, "Did Mr. Kevin from Datang go to Tang Sanzang for Buddhist scriptures?" The elder replied, "I am a poor monk. Why does Fairchild know my humble name? " The boy said, "My teacher left and told his disciples to meet him in the distance. I can't think of driving to sell, and I have a sense of loss to satisfy. Master, please sit down and wait for your disciples to serve tea. " "I dare not," Sanzang said. . Mingyue turned into the house and brought a cup of fragrant tea to her elders. After tea, the breeze said, "Brother, don't go against the teacher's way. I will go with you to get the fruit. "

The two boys said goodbye to Sanzang and went to the room together. One of them took a golden hammer, the other took a Dan pan, put a silk handkerchief at the bottom of the pan and went to the ginseng garden. The breeze climbed the tree and let the golden hammer beat the fruit; The moon is under the tree, which is connected by Dan Pan. After a while, he knocked down two fruits, put them on a plate, and went to the front hall to offer an offering: "Master Tang, I have nothing to offer in five villages, but two fruits, earth and instrument, just to quench my thirst." When the elder saw this, he stood trembling three feet away and said, "Good! Very good! This year is also full of years, how can this view eat people? This is a child under the age of three dynasties. How can he quench his thirst with me? " "This monk is in the middle of nowhere," said the breeze. "He is too jealous to know the treasure of my fairy family." Yue Ming stepped forward and said, "Teacher, this thing is called ginseng fruit. You might as well eat one. " "Nonsense!" Sanzang said. That's bullshit! His parents are pregnant. I don't know how much they have suffered, but they were born less than three days ago. How can they regard him as a fruit? "This is really a tree knot," said the breeze. The elder said, "Nonsense! That's bullshit! People grow on trees again? Take it, don't be a human being! Seeing that the two children refused to eat, they had to put away their plates and go back to their rooms. "。 But fruit also has a fishy smell and won't last long. If you leave it for a long time, it will become stiff and you can't eat it. When they arrived at the room, the family sat on the bed, only eating.