Cold joke decompression

1, I rent a house alone. After taking more than 10 baths last night, I sent a message to my girlfriend lying in bed as usual. After sending one, I was sleepy for a while. I woke up and found it was already 12 o'clock. I have several messages from her in my mobile phone, which are nothing more than "Why didn't you reply" and "Are you asleep?". ...

2. In the evening, my daughter called her mother anxiously: "Mom! He hasn't come back yet, there must be another woman! " Mother comforted softly: "silly child, be good, don't always think the worst, maybe something has happened!" " "

When my colleague left just now, I took a screenshot of his computer desktop and set it to print as a desktop. Then move all the files on the desktop to a folder on disk, so that the desktop looks the same as usual. When he came back, he clicked the mouse wildly, but there was no response! It's still turning off, turning on, turning off, turning on, turning off, turning on. ...

4. Someone changed an avatar. So he happily posted to show off: "Is my avatar awesome?" Downstairs reply: I like it!

When I was a child, I liked puppies very much. My family has been very annoyed and refused to raise it. Later, someone gave me a two-month-old puppy, which was very cute. After playing for a few days, I found that the puppy had skin disease and acne. I was afraid to tell my family that I couldn't keep it, so I found some Pi Yanping to put on my dog, but it never got better. One day my father saw it and asked me what was going on, so I told him honestly.

6. Very funny … I hope I can understand: My wife called her husband who was a programmer and said, "Buy a catty of steamed bread and bring it back from work. When you see a watermelon seller, buy one. " That night, the programmer's husband entered the house with a steamed bread in his hand. . . The wife said angrily, "Why did you buy steamed buns? ! "The husband replied," Because I saw the watermelon seller. "