I beg you for the lines in the sketch "It's all the fault of the lottery"! ! ! ! !

The script of "It's All the Lottery's fault"

The son appears (singing a hero song).

Son: I’ve been carrying it a little bit lately, I’ve been carrying it a little bit, but it’s a special kind of carrying! Ahem, ahem, it’s so special! It seems like I encountered a ghost during the day (pause)... I saw a lottery ticket roaring on the road, touched five hundred yuan, and touched a bottle of mineral water!

Son: I’m so lucky, I’d better go home for dinner. Home. (Make a knocking sound with his mouth) Bang Bang Bang! Alas, your beloved son is back.

Mother: It’s coming.

Son: Hurry up and open the door.

Mother: Oh, why are you back so early?

Son: So early I...

Mother: Yes.

Son: I’m back for dinner, mother.

Mother: Eat?

Son: Ah.

Mother: Ouch, there is no food at home. You go to the vegetable market and buy some food.

Son: Oh, are you going to buy some food? Okay, let's go buy some food. (The mother closes the door and the son turns to leave) I bought some recently... Oh, that's not right! My father passed away early. My mother always complained that I came home late. Why did she suddenly complain that I came home early today? Is there a ghost here? No, I can't let her talk to strangers. Let me open the door first. (Turns around and goes back) Bang Bang Bang, I’m sorry, please open the door. Mom, if you don't open the door, then I will... I will really... (makes a gesture of kicking the door) I will take the key and open the door myself. (Make a sound of opening the door)

Crack, rattle, rattle.

Mother: Oops, didn’t you buy groceries? Son: Mom, I don’t need to buy groceries, right?

Mother: I told you there was no food at home.

Son: Is there a cauliflower in this house?

Mother: Cauliflower?

Son: Let me see what you are hiding, let me see what you are hiding, I...

Mother: Hey, hey, hey!

Son: Go away (raising his foot as if to kick his mother).

Mother: Ouch! This, this, this...

Son: Is there anyone in the house? Get out of here. If you don't come out, I'll let a mad dog bite you out.

Uncle Zhao: Hey, hey, don’t let the dog go, don’t let the dog go! I'm coming out, I'm coming out!

Son: It turns out he is an old bachelor who has been frying fried dough sticks in our alley all his life, and is known as "Zhao Youtiao" by people in the world!

Uncle Zhao: Master!

Son: You are so brave, my God, you!

Uncle Zhao: I am as timid as a mouse.

Son: I always thought you were timid, but I didn’t expect that your courage is just like your fried dough sticks, which get thicker and thicker the more you fry them! You dare to come to my house and molest my mother in broad daylight!

Uncle Zhao: Hey, this can’t be nonsense.

Mother: Ouch, I need to explain this matter.

Son: What are you explaining? Explain? You... you... (turning to mother) Oh my dear, my father died young and his bones were not yet cold!

Uncle Zhao: It hasn’t been cold in more than ten years?

Son: No cold! I have long seen that you have ulterior motives for my mother, and you are ready to take action. If I hadn't arrived in time today, if you two... did something irreparable, how could you be worthy of my father's spirit in heaven? How can you be worthy of my fragile heart?

Uncle Zhao: Hey, hey, hey, you are too fragile! Your mother has nothing against you. In order to prevent your heart from being hurt, she has always been very close to me. For more than ten years, I have been suffering in pain!

Son: You should jump into the frying pan and fry.

Uncle Zhao: Okay, it doesn’t matter how you treat me. You should still be filial to your mother.

Son: Do you have to say this? Will I not be filial to my mother? (Going to mother) I am such an unfulfilled old lady, I am not not letting you get married. With your current conditions, at least you can marry a university professor or a department-level cadre, and at worst, you should marry Li Ka-shing’s younger brother. Bill Gates's uncle, David Beckham's grandfather...

Uncle Zhao: Are you marrying your mother or selling your mother?

Mother: Then you, Uncle Zhao, still have a lot of advantages! (Uncle Zhao made a good impression)

Son: I see that he has a lot of oily spots on his body.

Mother: First, he is honest.

Son: Aren’t you talking nonsense? He is a deep-fried dough sticks guy. If he were not honest, his fried dough sticks stall would have been taken over by someone else.

Mother: Second, he is diligent.

Son: Of course, he is a bachelor and he is not diligent. Who will support him?

Mother: Besides, he has a skill (making deep-fried dough sticks).

Son: Ouch, mother, is this also called technology? This guy's only skill is that he has never been caught by the urban management in his life!

Uncle Zhao: (pointing to his son) You...

Mother: Anyway, after all these years, he is the only one who loves me the most! Son: Oh, it’s just two free dough sticks a day!

Uncle Zhao: Well, there is also a bowl of soy milk.

Son: It’s not even 50 cents in total.

Mother: Oh, he only has so much ability.

Son: Oh, mother, if you have to marry him, I will die for you!

Mother: Oh, you can’t die, you can’t die! Uncle Zhao: OK, OK, no need to scare me with those silly words, and I will never ask for your sloppy leisure again. I leave.

Son: Well, okay, after leaving Yongyun, don’t ever step into our house again.

Uncle Zhao: Old concubine.

Mother: Alas!

Uncle Zhao: Then I’m leaving!

Mother: Uncle, it seems that we have no chance in this life and have to wait for the next life!

Son: Oh my god, I am dozens of years old. Please pay attention to the impact.

Mother: Just give it to someone else as a token of love.

Uncle Zhao: OK.

Son: Haha, Zhao Youtiao, it’s getting more and more foreign, and you even made a love token, ah? What love token? Take it out and let me open my eyes.

Uncle Zhao: A lottery ticket.

Son: Ouch, I thought..., did you win the prize?

Uncle Zhao: Hit.

Son: What did you hit?

Mother: (quickly speaking) Ah, a bag of washing powder!

Son: Oh, my dear, you seem to have no class as soon as you open your mouth. Are you willing to give me a bag of washing powder?

Uncle Zhao: Well, the first one won a bag of washing powder...

Son: (quickly asked) What about the second one?

Uncle Zhao: Won one million.

Son: Hey, listen... what did you hit?

Uncle Zhao: One million.

Son: One million, one million! ! ! ! ! ! (Falls to the ground in excitement) Mother: Oh, save people, save people! (Uncle Zhao went over to help his son)

Mother: Oh, I told you not to tell him, but he just couldn’t listen to this. That’s how his father died back then!

Uncle Zhao: Is there still inheritance?

Mother: This is terrible, quickly pinch the person, pinch the person!

Uncle Zhao: Okay, pinch people, pinch people. (Among those who pinched his son hard)

Son: (sit up) Dad.

(Uncle Zhao was shocked. His son stood up and ran straight to Uncle Zhao. Uncle Zhao was frightened)

Uncle Zhao: Hey, hey, hey, don’t come here, don’t come here. Who do you call daddy?

Son: Whoever has one million is my father.

Uncle Zhao: Well, you are too realistic.

Son: My dear, please get married as soon as possible.

Mother: Ouch, you’re so mad at me.

Son: You can be angry with me, but don’t be angry with that millionaire! It's not that I don't want you two to get married, I just wanted to see how deeply you two love each other.

Uncle Zhao: Ouch, why does it matter if I love you so deeply? I'm not a university professor!

Son: Oops, university professors don’t have skills like yours.

Mother: Aha, he is not a department-level cadre.

Son: (twirling his fingers as if counting money) Department-level cadres are not as lucky as him.

Uncle Zhao: I am not the younger brother of Li Ka-shing, the uncle of Bill Gates, or the grandfather of David Beckham...

Son: You are my ancestor.

Uncle Zhao: Ouch! (Pointing to his son and speechless)

Mother: You say his only skill is that he has never been caught by the urban management.

Son: Oh, my dear, if you don’t marry him today, how can you be worthy of my father’s spirit in heaven? If you don't marry him, I will die for you.

Mother: I’m going to die again.

Son: I am almost dying of anxiety.

Uncle Zhao: Hey, hey, hey, forget it, forget it. There's no need to be like this. Well, since you don't have any objections to this matter, (Son: Yes), then your mother and I...

Son: Let's get married as soon as possible.

Uncle Zhao: Oh, old concubine, it seems that money is a big deal.

Mother: Oh, what is money? My son is still reasonable sometimes. Well, his uncle, (Uncle Zhao: Ouch!) I see that the lottery ticket has been lost. Just throw it away! (Uncle Zhao: Yes, yes, yes.) This million is nothing. (Uncle Zhao: That’s right!) How can we be a family... (Uncle Zhao agrees, at this time the son walks over to stop his mother) Reunion, peace and quiet An'an, Hehe Meimei (Uncle Zhao agrees)

Son: Hey, hey, wait... wait a minute! (Interrupting mother, shouting) Wait a minute! Hey, why am I getting more and more confused the more I listen. Mom, what do you mean if you lose it, just forget it?

Mother: Oh, son, didn’t your uncle win one million?

Son: One million.

Mother: When he was happy, he jumped on the spot three times. (Son: How is it?) Lost the lottery ticket! ! ! (The son asked Uncle Zhao with a shocked expression, and Uncle Zhao helplessly spread his hands to him)

Son: (pointing to Uncle Zhao) Get out of here! Go back and fry your fried dough sticks!

Uncle Zhao: Then your mother and I?

Son: You are dreaming! You toad wants to eat swan meat, disappear from my presence immediately.

Uncle Zhao: Okay, I will disappear. Before I disappear, I will say the last words to your mother. (Pushing her son away and walking towards her mother) Old concubine, although I lost my lottery ticket, (Mother: Yes), it wasn’t lost far. I bent down and picked it up again.

Mother: Ouch, aha, I picked it up again!

Son: (hurry over and hug Uncle Zhao’s arm and shout) Dad!

Uncle Zhao: (Shocked, he quickly ran away, but his son hugged him too tightly and he didn’t run away) Don’t call me daddy!

Son: You are my father!

Uncle Zhao: I want to disappear! (Son: You can’t disappear!) I want to disappear! (Son: You can't disappear!) I disappear, I disappear! (While talking, he dragged his son away)

Son: (stopped) Wait a minute, are you two making fun of me here?

Uncle Zhao: Who made you happy?

Son: What one million lottery ticket? I have lived for decades and have only heard of it but never seen it.

Uncle Zhao: Haha, I still don’t believe it! You see. (Take the lottery ticket out of his trouser pocket and hand it over. The mother stops him, but just one step away, the son grabs the lottery ticket.)

Son: (looking at the lottery ticket) This is my biological father! Oh, this is God's will. (As he said that, he stayed outside.)

Mother: Hey, where are you going?

Uncle Zhao: What are you doing?

Son: I’ll go out and be right back.

Uncle Zhao: Hey, don’t, don’t, don’t, don’t…

Son: You two hurry up and get married! Ah, yes, after I came back, before I got married, I lost my temper! (Speaking and running away)

Uncle Zhao: Oh, you kid is hopeless!

Mother: What can I do? I am also speechless.

Uncle Zhao: It’s hard to tell, so he walked away.

Mother: What do you mean...

Uncle Zhao: Elope!

Mother: Oh, my God, let’s elope! Oops, I'm running anyway. The problem is that if I eat fried dough sticks every day, I'm afraid I won't be able to run very far!

Uncle Zhao: It’s okay, we won’t need fried dough sticks in the future, I still have a lottery ticket!

Mother: Lottery? You didn't give it to him? Then what the hell...

Uncle Zhao: A bag of washing powder!

Mother: Ah, but we are gone, what will happen to my son?

Uncle Zhao: He is hopeless, what else do you want him to do? Mother: This..., let’s go, then, his uncle?

Uncle Zhao: Hey, let’s go! (The two are happy)