Parents, do you understand the psychological damage of teenagers after being bullied?

Recently, the popularity of Better Days has brought the school bullying incident into public view again.

Tao Xingzhi, a famous educator, said that society is a school, and society follows the law of the jungle, and the law of the jungle prevails, so does the school.

Because there are many incidents in school bullying, it is difficult to put an end to them.

Then it is necessary to remind parents, hoping that parents can realize the huge negative impact of bullying on their children and what we can do to prevent bullying.

Once bitten, twice shy, this sentence can best describe the influence of bullying on the victims.

In the talk show Talking to Strangers, there was an interviewee, Wang Shengnan (formerly known as Wang Jingjing). She looks no different from other girls, but in the interview, she repeatedly said, "I can't trust anyone at all." Even before I came (recording the program), I suspected that people who hated me lied to me. "

It turned out that from the first year of high school, she became the victim of a campus bullying for no reason. It was only then that she didn't expect that bullying would last for ten years.

It all started with a "three million cups". When Wang Jingjing was a freshman in high school, two boys fought and smashed her cup. The joke at the same table was "Wang Jingjing's cup is worth three million", which was rumoured as "Wang Jingjing claimed to have three million cups and demanded compensation" on the school post bar. The thread conveyed even greater malice: "How can she afford three million glasses of water when she wears ten yuan of stall clothes every day?" "Her family seems to be very poor ..." "Ugly people make more trouble ..."

Strong Wang Jingjing saw these posts, but he couldn't "just read or listen" as everyone suggested. Instead, in order to maintain his self-esteem, he kept refuting them, and the result was even worse.

Rumor has it that Wang Jingjing likes the boy who breaks her cup. She retorted, "How can I like him? I don't lack boyfriends. " This sentence was misinterpreted as "claiming to have many boyfriends".

Some people laugh that she looks like Xifeng. She retorted, "I had my teeth fixed in primary school, but it bounced back." This sentence was misinterpreted as "claiming to have plastic surgery in elementary school."

Finally, a goddess image of "plastic surgery, showing off wealth and countless boyfriends" was born. She became the public enemy of the whole school, a bad girl who was punished by everyone.

Some people claim to be friends with her, but the purpose is to "broadcast the life of the goddess" for everyone to make fun of; Someone stopped her on the way to school and couldn't help slapping her for more than a dozen times. Wang Jingjing grabbed her hand and shouted: "The goddess hit someone, come and see!" Wang Jingjing had to let go and was beaten a dozen times; Someone approached her as a suitor and asked for her private photo after gaining trust. Then this photo went viral on the Internet, and the rumor escalated to "She works as a sex worker somewhere", which was followed by endless slut humiliation. Later, she recalled that if someone bullied me, I might laugh it off. But that's ten thousand people.

Wang Jingjing, desperate, once swallowed 40 antidepressants and turned on gas once. After being rescued, the voice on the Internet was: "She committed suicide several times and is still alive. This program is too old-fashioned. "

Finally, in the first half of senior three, Wang Jingjing, who was seriously depressed, chose to drop out of school. Provincial key high school, good grades in the top five, foreseeable future ... she doesn't want it. Malicious but all the way, even when she was married and pregnant, someone spread her "deeds" on the forum.

20 18, a paper book sued Jiang, the administrator of the post bar that year. Finally, Wang Jingjing won the case. But the trajectory of her life was changed ... her studies were destroyed, her personality changed greatly, and she was severely depressed, but he didn't know who to hate.

Being insulted and laughed at may be insignificant in the eyes of parents and teachers, because they often evaluate the minds of adults, but they have never pulled out a knife in the fragile children's psychology.

Chipa said that champion Huang Zhizhong mentioned in the first debate that he still hates children because he was bullied by other children since he was a child, and he intends not to have children in his life.

In 20 14, a new study published in the American Journal of Psychiatry found that the negative effects of bullying in childhood may last from adolescence and youth to middle age. People who are bullied in childhood are more vulnerable to psychological interference when they grow up, and the risk of depression and anxiety is greater.

1, adults' indifference makes bullying survive.

In better days, there is a line "Why don't you trust adults?" A Zao replied in his heart: "Because some adults are not credible at all! Even teachers are not necessarily credible! "

Algae bear, a popular science psychologist, wrote in an article that he was bullied in primary school. After talking to his family, he got the answer, "Ignore them!" After talking to the teacher, it didn't work. "Well, you go back to the classroom first, and the teacher will deal with it later." The teacher said that the teacher's so-called "handling" was just asking those students who had been playing tricks on me to read it before class, and one of them scratched his ass and made faces at me while reading it. When I was young, the seaweed bear realized that it was useless to tell adults. They only care about the progress of the course and don't seem to notice whether their children are bullied.

Adults often use adult thinking to judge what happens between children. They think that things between children are trivial and rarely talk to children. They don't realize the negative influence of bullying on children's psychology, so they let bullying develop.

2. Bad family environment is more likely to breed bullies.

The influence of family on children's growth is enormous. Parents are the children's first teachers, and what kind of parents have what kind of children. If parents often quarrel and fathers use domestic violence against their mothers, children will be grumpy and often bully others at school. Parents' marriage and divorce will also develop children's weird behavior habits, which are easy to insult and bully others.

Parents don't educate their children well. Overindulgence often develops a child's character of excessive self-esteem. At school, when things are a little unsatisfactory, they abuse each other and bully others. Too simple and rude, punishing children with violence will lead to children's over-withdrawn personality and like to bully children with weak personality.

3. In school, put an end to the lack of bullying system and let bullying incidents continue to happen.

As we all know, bullying is usually dealt with in a critical and educational way in schools. This has no effect on bullies at all. Bullies still go their own way and ignore school education. Bullying incidents have not been suppressed, but have increased.

Schools are not law enforcement units, and they have no law enforcement power in the face of bullies, so they can only be treated in a critical and educational way. In addition, the school does not want bullying to affect its reputation, so facing bullying is also a harmonious solution.

4. The punishment and punishment of the law for bullies are not in place, and bullies have nothing to hide.

The law only stipulates that only school bullying people aged 14~ 16 who cause serious personal injuries to others, such as serious injury, death and heavy property losses, shall be given criminal punishment. /kloc-those under the age of 0/4 shall not be investigated for criminal responsibility.

1, said the child psychologist.

A study on bullying in Australia found that one of the places with the highest incidence of bullying in the world is Australian primary schools.

They found that a quarter of students aged between 8 and 14 were bullied every few weeks, sometimes even more.

Dr. Kimberly O'Brien, a child psychologist, pointed out through the analysis of bullying incidents that children who are often bullied because they are different are often those who lack self-confidence, and they will be chosen as bullying targets more and more.

How to effectively avoid bullying?

Self-confidence is a child's "Long Lin"

Children will not be bullied because they are different. They are bullied because although they are different, they don't own themselves, but they feel anxious and embarrassed about their differences, which makes them a little timid.

So instead of teaching children to integrate and adapt, it is better to teach them confidence in what makes them different. Self-confident children often have a kind of inner strength, which makes the "bad guys" unable to look straight.

2 Cultivate children's ability to make friends so that children are not lonely.

Pay attention to cultivating children's communicative competence. No matter how old your child is, you should associate with classmates from different schools and classes, associate with like-minded friends, and make friends with neighbors and children of the same age at home. In this way, even if the child is bullied, the child always has friends outside the bullied circle.

Parents should be calm and flexible when dealing with bullying.

For parents, it may be a complicated moment when they learn that their children have been bullied. Many parents responded by going directly to Xiong Haizi's parents or even to Xiong Haizi. However, if it is not handled properly, it is an easy way to escalate the situation or make the child's experience worse.

So it is useless for parents to be emotional and can't help their children. Instead, talk to teachers and principals about your children. You can even ask the police for help.

Parents, don't let your indifference lead to tragedy.

Parents should never ignore their children's concerns or tell them in general that everything will be fine.

If children feel that their parents don't believe in themselves or are indifferent, then there will be various opportunities for children to stop mentioning this matter to their parents and start burying the problem in their hearts until it finally ferments into tragedy.

2. Children are braver in pain.

Every parent wants to give their children a safe, calm and happy world and let them live happily, calmly and freely. However, how complicated is a big family without parents? The good and evil of human nature is often just a thought.

Therefore, instead of creating an illusion of world peace for children, it is better to tear open the wound and teach them to learn to see the facts, think and be resourceful in bloody wounds.

When campus tragedies happen around us, news reports from authoritative channels are generally the most intuitive and objective. But many parents may feel too cruel, choose to hide something from their children or don't know where to start.

In fact, there are too many channels for children to get information now.

Many school-age children get information from friends and classmates, or see some pictures from internet, video and other channels. So the best way is to discuss with children while watching the news, and then help them digest the news.

Generally speaking, the older a child is, the more he can understand and process information. If the child is young, you can choose the right part to discuss with the child.

The most important thing is to help children feel at ease and let them know that their parents will do their best to protect them; At the same time, it can tell older children how to deal with different emergencies, such as finding a safe place, finding the nearest exit, and how to contact themselves when they are in trouble;

If children feel anxious or afraid, they may wish to spend as much time with them as possible and have close physical contact with them, so that they can feel the constant love from their parents.

3. Being sensitive to children is their "lifebuoy".

But no matter what happens to the child, even if he doesn't say it, there will always be clues in life.

For example, children suddenly refuse to go to school; There are wounds, swelling and bruises on the body for no reason; Significant changes in diet, loss of appetite or overeating; Hope to change the route to and from school; I don't do my homework as before, and I don't like doing my homework as before. Now I don't like it very much ...

If parents can detect these situations at the first time and extend strong arms to hug and help their children in time, they will certainly open their hearts and avoid tragedies.

Therefore, in the face of the emergence of school bullying, only parents can effectively help their children at the first time, or nip in the bud. On weekdays, they have enough care, consideration and love for their children!