Mandarin joke of four minutes or more (15 points)

Update 1:

I want to use written language as well as a joke!

The performance method is that each person plays a role, a total of ***5 people, respectively A half-tone scholar

B filial man

C filial daughter

D filial grandson

E filial granddaughter's performance method does not have to be special Costumes, but during the performance, everyone must have big name tags with the name of their role written on the front and back. For example, the person who plays B Xiaonan must have big notes with "Pan Xinke" written on the chest and back. Write the three parts of "Fan Jin Dou" very big and dark, so that the effect will be better. When acting, it should be slow and slow. The person who plays A should recite the lines loudly, and the person who is read should hesitate for a moment and then follow the action. , only in this way can it be effective and interesting. We have performed a very funny and hilarious funeral in school before. It is said that there was a half-hearted scholar who once presided over the funeral of a family named Pan in the next village. Before the funeral began, the family gave him a list of filial men and filial women. (The list is as follows----filial son: Pan Xinke; filial daughter: Chi Pan - because she married someone, she took her husband's surname; filial grandson: Pan Chezi; filial granddaughter: Pan Futing) When the scholar looked at the list, he felt secretly. The name was not good. I couldn't pronounce most of the names, and I didn't have time to ask them carefully. I was so anxious that I decided to "read while I read." At this time, the funeral started. Scholar: "Xiaonan was doing somersaults" (everyone thought it was a somersault). Xiaonan felt strange that the customs of the neighboring village seemed different. I saw the scholar say it again: "A filial man fights hard." Xiaonan had no choice but to go out and do somersaults. The scholar secretly marveled that the customs in this village were so weird that somersaults were required during funerals. Then the scholar said: "A filial daughter is also a fan" (Chi Pan's family). Because the character "shi" has no edges, scholars have been wondering how to pronounce it. The filial daughter was very surprised and said: "Ah, I want to translate it too?" At this time, the scholar finally figured out how to pronounce the word "Shi", so he happily said: "Shi". The filial daughter thought that the scholar answered "yes", so she had to be careful. Reluctantly came out and did somersaults. The scholar was convinced at this time that the funeral ceremonies in this village were all like this. So he continued to say: "Xiaosun twice" (Pan Chezi), Xiaosun came out obediently and did two somersaults. At this time, the last filial granddaughter saw that the more she turned over, the more she turned over, and she quickly stood up from the ground and ran away. The scholar chased her and said: "Hey, don't run away, you're the only one left, Pan Buting (Pan Futing)

Reference: Hilarious student-era performances

1. That day I looked at your sexy body infatuatedly, twisting in front of me, and gently touching your skin. I couldn't resist your temptation: Boss, I want this fish. 2. You are happy because! I am happy, I am happy because you are happy, I am sad because you have lost weight, I have lost weight because you are sick, I am smiling because you are strong, I am rich because I sold you... Pig! 3 , I was very nervous the first time, and he kept asking me to relax gently, and then he inserted it into my body. There was bleeding, and I was so painful that I couldn't cry. Then I realized... this is what blood donation is like! 4. That night! Holding you, telling you to put on that thing in your ear, you said it feels good not to wear it, now is the safety period, it’s okay... But what if the traffic police catch you without wearing a helmet? 5. I am a person who has a crush on you. , the first time I saw you, I decided that you were the one I should wait for in this life, but my only regret is... I'm sorry, I sent the wrong person. 6. When you left me silently, I was in great pain, I don’t know what to do, watching your back go away, I hate myself, it’s all my fault... I got up a little earlier and caught up with the car. 7. Do you know that I miss you every day and every night? . I think about it when I eat, when I sleep, and when I work. I really want to say to you... Pay me back quickly. 8. I really love you and don't want to leave you. I feel sad that you have trapped me so deeply. The earth doesn’t want to make me sad, please rise quickly... The stock market 9. You are as kind as a cat

You are as loyal as a dog

You are as cute as a bird

You are as beautiful as a butterfly

You are diligent as a bee

You are similar in everything

No wonder everyone calls you...animal 10. When I first saw you, I said to myself: You are my goal in this life, I want to pursue you and embrace you.

I want to declare: I love you...RMB 11. Life becomes uncomfortable without you. I hate that hateful third party for taking you away. Do you have a new relationship with him? I really want you to come back to me - Wallet 12. Don't ask me why I cry, my tears flow for you, and my heart breaks for you. I hate that man, why did he take you away from me... Dead thief 13. I am shy and have never dared to confess to you, but today I finally mustered up the courage: When will you invite me to dinner? 14. If there is no wind, the clouds will not move; if there is no water, the fish cannot swim; if there is no sun, the moon will not have light; if there is no you... stupid people will not exist. 15. Diners: How much does it cost to sleep? Night? (How much does a bowl of dumplings cost?) Waiter: Rogue! (Six cents) Businessman: Six cents? So fair. I'm coming for three nights

Reference: me