Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Those days when I was a conductor

Those days when I was a conductor

Coincidentally, I developed a rather subtle relationship with the conductor.

Although it only lasted a few days, it left a special flavor in my life.

When I had close contact with trains and passengers, I understood several truths, which are:

First, there are never simple things in the world, such as opening and closing doors.

Secondly, no matter where you are, please don’t forget where you come from. Everything you experience is the starting point, including the end point.

Thirdly, people’s academic qualifications are not directly proportional to their quality, and those who study are not as good as those who are educated.

Fourth, even the sunshine cannot melt the ice and snow in the North and South Poles, but a smile can do it.

Fifth, we always tend to ignore the familiar things around us and forget their existence.

Our unit assisted in the summer sports K6651/2 times.

Every time we are on duty, we have to go to the apartment for a break before 22:00 the night before, then get up at 4 o'clock in the morning, set off from Yancheng, and arrive at Chenzhou Station at 6:48.

Breakfast is provided by Chenzhou Station. It consists of a bowl of rice noodles, a fried egg, some minced meat, and a few slices of pickled mustard, which is simple enough to fill your stomach.

If you have a strong taste, you can also add a small spoonful of Chenzhou pepper to the rice noodles.

This kind of local chili pepper is not ordinary spicy.

I dare not eat it.

I am afraid that I will feel uncomfortable in my gastrointestinal tract after eating it, and I am afraid that it will affect my work and mood throughout the day.

After breakfast, we have to open the door in advance, change the garbage bags, tidy up the carriage, and prepare for the passengers to get on the bus.

As the school year begins, the passenger flow is mainly students, and there are also some small tributaries visiting relatives and friends.

We stood on the platform, lined up in a column, parallel to the train, smiling at the incoming passengers.

Immediately after the bell rang, passengers entering the station rushed to their respective carriages like a flood from a reservoir, checking their tickets one by one to get on the train.

We were the first to get off the bus and opened the doors for passengers to facilitate their timely boarding and alighting.

We were the last to get on the bus to ensure that passengers were completely on and off the bus to prevent them from missing the bus and to close the door as the last line of defense.

This is one of the service purposes of conductors.

I have never opened and closed a door, so I need someone else to guide me.

The master said, give priority to opening the back door (relative to the direction of the train or the door behind the conductor's room).

There is a rubber band on the door handle, which needs to be removed first.

I don’t know what it is used for. I heard from others that it can effectively prevent the car door from opening and reduce safety risks.

There are two locks on the door, upper and lower, which require a special train key to open.

I have something to say about this key.

The key is made of stainless steel and is shaped like a pipe. The cigarette holder is a regular hexagon. It is not an exaggeration to say that it is a work of art.

The master repeatedly told us not to lose it, otherwise the train would turn into a can and be completely out of control.

Insert the key into the keyhole, turn it ninety degrees clockwise, and the lock will open.

Don't open the door in a hurry, wait until the train stops. If there are many passengers, you can open the lock one minute before the train enters the station, hold the door with your feet or hands, and open it after the train has stopped.

After the door is opened, place corresponding protective equipment according to the conditions of the platform.

If it is a low platform, you need to put down the help escalator, and remember to confirm whether it is fastened to the buckle on the door.

If it is a high platform, a safety crossing board must be placed in the gap between the train and the platform, and a red warning tape must be hung at the connection between the two trains.

Closing the door is easier than opening the door, but there are also many things to pay attention to.

First, you need to put the rubber band next to the car door, then close the door, turn the key counterclockwise to lock the upper and lower door locks, then tie the rubber band to the door handle and pull it with your hand. door to make sure it is locked.

If traffic protection equipment has been placed previously, it must be returned to the carriage. Another thing to note is that you need to check whether the doors of adjacent carriages are also closed.

I followed what the master said, and after trying it several times, I confirmed that I had mastered the technique of opening and closing the door.

I was still very nervous when I opened and closed the door for the first time.

First, I am not very skilled at opening the door, and I am afraid that I will be laughed at if I cannot open it in a short period of time; second, it is difficult to determine the timing of opening the door, and I am afraid of delaying the travel of passengers if I open it late; Place the corresponding protective equipment for traffic. I will be held responsible for accidents caused by failure to do so. Third, whether the door is closed properly. I cannot bear it if the door is accidentally opened or items are lost.

I did it, but made a few minor mistakes. For example, the safety board was not put in place (colleagues helped put it back in place), the red warning tape was forgotten to be taken back (colleagues reminded), the rubber strap was not knotted (colleagues pointed out), etc.

The worst thing happened. At the end of the day, I had a big blood blister on my palm.

When the passengers have finished boarding and alighting, the train doors are closed. After a series of communications between the train driver and the station attendant, the exit signal turns green and the train is about to begin its journey.

But our service work continues.

Packing passenger luggage is a must-do. Because most passengers put their luggage on the luggage rack, some of which are placed improperly, with the center of gravity facing outward, and may easily fall. We must handle it properly. Some are in the aisles and we need to move them to the appropriate places.

Publicity work must also be sufficient. Don't litter, please smoke in the aisles, put burning cigarette butts into buckets of water, and adults should keep an eye on children.

At this moment, the real journey begins.

In this era of rapid change, people's pursuit of speed has reached an almost crazy level.

Walk 5 kilometers/hour, bike 15 kilometers/hour, car 60 kilometers/hour, train 90 kilometers/hour, high-speed rail 300 kilometers/hour, and airplane 600 kilometers/hour.

These are not enough, we even need to fly at supersonic speed (already achieved) and at the speed of light.

Speed ??has truly changed people's lifestyles. The distance between points is getting closer and closer, and time is compressed. We can get somewhere faster, socialize or travel. We have more free time to do the things we like.

But speed also creates some drawbacks. It puts everyone's nerves on edge and people have to race against the clock. It moves through the world so fast that everything is fleeting.

Jiang Xun once said, "We have forgotten that slowness is also a kind of speed. Detours and tact are also a way of arrival. Many advanced industrial countries are not only thinking about fast issues, but also I am also thinking about the meaning of slowness. I want to slow down from the pleasure of high speed and experience the leisurely pace. The speed has a humanistic quality.” , the golden mean of development is to remain unchanged in response to all changes.

Since the popularity of high-speed rail, most newspapers and the Internet have been promoting the speed, convenience, superiority and high-end of high-speed rail, while the green-skinned trains have faded out of people's sight.

We are enslaved by reality, and giving up has become an inevitable choice.

Many things can only be missed and sealed in memory.

Had it not been for my temporary role as a train conductor, I would have hardly come into close contact with it again.

Compared to the high-speed rail, I think it is more attractive.

The long beep when starting, the thick smoke rising from the roof of the diesel locomotive, the clanking of the wheels on the rails, the primitive and shy sewers, and the rudimentary carriage facilities all show a kind of vicissitudes of life. The beauty.

It is like an old antique with a long history, exuding an intriguing smell of rust.

I want to say that it should not be forgotten, but should be traveled far and wide.

The train sways left and right, telling you that the train is about to enter the station.

I walked out of the cabin and prepared to open the door.

The platform was full of passengers who were about to get on the train, and the passengers in the train were eager to get off.

After the train braked to a stop, I opened the door.

Go down first and then go up. This is one of the laws in the transportation industry and is also the goal of practicing a civilized society.

A young mother was about to get off the bus with a child.

Because the mother had a lot of luggage, the child had to get off the bus by himself.

I stood aside and watched the child going down the ladder. He might fall down at any time, and I couldn't help but feel worried for him.

Eventually I picked him up and gently placed him somewhere safe.

The mother politely stopped the child and said thank you to the uncle.

The child opened his mouth wide, revealing two rows of jagged teeth, smiled at me and said, thank you, uncle.

Not far away, two female students dragged their suitcases and slowly walked towards me.

They are about seventeen or eighteen years old, which is the most beautiful time of youth.

They are extremely simple, and most of them are shy, which is also the original appearance of human beings.

I really like this feeling.

A girl walked up to me, stroking her long hair with one hand, and said to me, "Uncle, can you help us carry our luggage up? They are too heavy?"

I know she's embarrassed.

I said softly, "Okay."

When I put them all up, they smiled shyly and said thank you to me.

I think this is the most beautiful smile in the world. Even the sunshine cannot melt the ice and snow in the North and South Poles, they did it.

Give someone a rose and leave a lingering fragrance in your hands.

Please don’t be stingy with your sincerity, and don’t forget to be grateful.

When the train stopped, some people got off and their journey was over. Some people also got on the bus and their journey began again.

There is no absolute beginning or end in this world. Flowers bloom and fall in spring, summer, autumn and winter, that is the law. Life and death are separated, and happiness comes after suffering. That is fate.

The poet Xu Zhimo has long seen it through. The sentence he wrote in Farewell to Cambridge, "As gently as I came, I left" has already told us all the answers.

After half a day’s work, we were very hungry.

Chinese food is a fast-food lunch box provided by Changsha Station, with one meat and two vegetables.

I don’t like meals put together because there is a thick layer of oil underneath.

But this is the only way to have a work meal, don’t think it suits your own taste.

Perhaps the chef was afraid that we would not be able to eat well at lunch, so he prepared a sauerkraut every time.

Our appetites are so big that we don’t even miss a grain of rice. This is the charm of sauerkraut.

When the train is running between sections, we sit in the crew room and rest.

Its possessions are no more and no less: a stool, a window, a table, a socket, a row of control lights, and a broadcast receiver.

And its space is just suitable for one person.

You can sit, stand, or lie down, but you can't lie down.

If you close the door, you will feel very quiet.

Usually, when a person is in a closed environment, his heartbeat will slow down and his stress will be reduced.

This is because without the influence of the outside world, people's vigilance is reduced and the whole body is relaxed.

But if you are placed on the African savannah, it will not be easy for you to be quiet.

You have to always beware of birds in the sky, wild beasts hidden in the grass, water monsters in the river, and invisible swamps.

Therefore, part of being quiet comes from your own habits, and part of it is also related to your environment.

Only when a person's heart is quiet and peaceful can he have time to study and think, and then he can devote himself to work and serve the public.

Didn’t Meng’s mother move several times just to have a good learning atmosphere and a bright future for her son?

Nowadays, there is a popular number-writing game on the street. The rules are from 1. Write up to 500, continuously and no correction is allowed, and you will get a bonus of 100 yuan, and you can try it for 20 yuan.

The profit ratio of 1 to 5 is quite attractive.

Many people are eager to try, but most people end up failing.

Isn’t it easy to write from 1 to 500? Why are so few people able to successfully pass the level?

The secret is that the stall owner is good at taking advantage of the surrounding environment and the luck of the customers.

The stall owners have placed their work areas in the busiest areas of the city.

The crowds coming and going, the endless flow of vehicles, various sounds, and the desire to break through the levels will disturb your concentration. If you are not careful, you will make a mistake and miss the bonus.

Compared to them, we are gentle little lambs, ready to be slaughtered.

Will you still dare to play in the future?

In a world full of complexity and temptation, there are probably very few people who can maintain tranquility alone.

Indifferentness makes one's ambition clear, and tranquility makes one go far. Zhuge's words still have their infinite charm to this day.

The train is moving forward slowly.

Sitting in front of the window, when you look at the scenery outside, do you feel waves in your heart?

When you When you see the ancient station, the mottled walls, and the greenery emerging in the courtyard, will you miss the past years?

When you see the rolling mountains, the lush woods, and the blooming trees somewhere Wildflowers, will you be grateful for the gifts that nature has given us?

When you see the simple villages, the smoke rising from the chimneys, and the barking of dogs from the deep lanes, will you envy the quiet and leisurely life? Pastoral life?

When you see the vast rice fields, the green seedlings, and the heavy ears of rice, will you admire those hardworking farmers?

When you see the The blue sky, the birds flying lightly, and the ever-changing clouds, will you exclaim the magic and depth of the universe?

When you see the beautiful sunset, the blood-stained clouds, the horizon Will you fall in love with the tranquility and maturity of dusk during the ballet?

When you see the night of the city, the colorful neon lights, and the endless flow of vehicles, will you admire the vigorous power of human beings to change the world?< /p>

Inspection is a routine task to detect potential risks. You want to check for banana peels littering the floor, suitcases that have been moved out of place, and children wandering around.

Once upon a time, you used pasteurized water as laundry detergent, and flowers bloomed on your clothes.

Once upon a time, you were distracted while riding a bicycle and injured your knee, leaving a permanent scar.

In the past, you trusted others too much and fell into the trap of MLM. Every time you think about it, you feel that it was a big failure in your life.

It is always right to be cautious when sailing the ship of ten thousand years.

Society is composed of individuals, organizations, norms, public facilities, services, etc.

I serve in Car No. 6, which fully meets the above conditions and is also a society.

When there are few people, I will leave the cabin and temporarily join this MINI version of society.

A young mother is breastfeeding her child. The child closed his eyes and sucked, enjoying the moisture of breast milk.

I was wondering what the difference is between children who are fed milk and those who are not.

On a seat not far away, an uncle was lying on his side, sleeping soundly.

Uncle, you should buy a sleeper ticket.

Several students were playing poker on the coffee table. The hole cards in the middle were covered with several K and 10 cards.

Today’s students don’t know what to say.

A girl was wearing earplugs and staring at the screen of her mobile phone, the movie picture flashing in her eyes.

What movie is she watching?

Another mother asked her child to recite a poem to her. The child thought for a while and recited clearly Wang Changling's story about going out to the fortress: "The Qin Dynasty bright moon and the Han Dynasty pass, and the people of the long march of thousands of miles have not yet returned. But the flying generals of the Dragon City are here, and they don't teach Hu Ma to cross the Yin Mountains.", his mother encouraged him.

Well done, it’s up to you to restore Taiwan.

A young man with dyed blond hair played the guitar, sometimes strumming the strings, sometimes breaking up the chords, and singing along in a low voice.

In everyone’s heart, there is a dream of being a musician.

The middle-aged man who was addicted to smoking quickly walked to the connection between the carriages, took out the cigarette case and lighter from his pocket, lit the cigarette, and took a deep breath, releasing a wisp of green smoke. slipped out of his nostrils.

Beside the car door, a few cigarette butts lay innocently on the cold iron plate. It baffles me that people love to smoke but throw cigarette butts everywhere.

After the train passed through Leiluo, we started doing hygiene.

When I saw the scene in the carriage, as a conductor in Car No. 6, I was heartbroken.

Mineral water bottles, beverage bottles, leftover fruits, peanut skins, melon shells, betel nut residue, snacks, and toilet paper were scattered on the coffee table and the ground in the carriage.

I held the broom and stood there blankly, not knowing where to start.

Let’s clean up the garbage on the coffee table first.

I took a large garbage bag and started working as a garbage collector.

Most people saw me coming and put the garbage into garbage bags obediently. Only a small number of people were not very friendly and sat there indifferently.

Garbage such as mineral water bottles and drinks is easy to clean, but you don’t even dare to touch spicy food packaging bags and toilet paper.

Because there was some cooking oil on it, and I didn’t wear gloves, my hands were stained with a layer of oil, which was dirty and disgusting.

You can’t believe your eyes. After walking through the whole carriage, two-thirds of it is already occupied by large garbage bags.

There is some garbage under the seat, you have to sweep it out.

Although it’s not much, it still takes some effort to clean.

The visible ones are easier to deal with, just sweep them away. I'm afraid of those in the dark, you have to squat and look to find them.

If the trash happens to be at someone else's feet, politely tell them to lift their feet.

Sometimes the broom accidentally touches someone, and you have to apologize to him.

The thing that annoyed me the most that day was a certain passenger.

He probably didn't eat the skins of peanuts, so he threw away the outer shell of each peanut. That thing is so light that it flies up as soon as you sweep it. You can’t sweep it away no matter how hard you sweep it. What a sin.

There are also some unsightly things.

I don’t know who knocked over the box of instant noodles, and a ferocious face appeared on the ground. A strange smell filled the entire carriage, not to mention how disgusting it was.

Last thing, clean the toilet.

A bow reflects the etiquette of a nation, a hug represents the generosity of a nation, and a habit highlights the quality of a nation.

Throwing garbage to the designated place is a very simple thing, but many people fail to do it well.

They think that since someone is cleaning it up, it doesn’t matter if they lose it. If everyone stopped throwing away garbage, many people in the world would be unemployed.

But they never thought that when he littered, he was already slapping himself in the face. He soiled the surrounding environment, which was equivalent to soiling himself.

A child came to me, holding a plastic bag in his hand.

He looked around and walked to another carriage, seeming to be looking for something.

I asked him if he was looking for the trash can, and he hummed.

I told him where the trash can was.

After he threw it, he ran quickly to his mother.

At that moment, I suddenly understood what education is.

The train finally arrived at the last station.

We put the garbage bags on the platform, replaced the garbage bags, closed the door, and walked to the station apartment.

At this point, we can take a breath.

After a brief stay at the apartment, we caught the return train.

In the western sky, a sunset gives off a charming brilliance. The train stopped at the platform, waiting for a new mission.