Ancient and modern Chinese and foreign humorous jokes

Ancient and modern Chinese and foreign humorous jokes

1, what did she shout?

XXX:？ Why did the man with a stick on TV hit the woman in front?

Unbeaten:? The conductor with the stick didn't hit her. ?

XXX:？ Then why did she scream?

2. doctor:? Please open your mouth. ?

Patient:? Thank you. ?

Doctor:? Why thank me?

Patient:? My husband always tells me to shut up. ?

3, XXX teaching

When XXX was a tutor, it rained one day, and the owner gave it to him by a long-term worker. On the way home, XXX asked: Do you know how to read? I can not only read books, but also write poems. ? XXX said:? Why not write a poem about me? Don't blame me, sir. The poem says: it is raining in front of the mountain and behind it, so the long-term worker takes an umbrella to send Mr. Wang. Banquets are divided up and down, and the salary for one year is generally similar. ? XXX was furious after hearing this:? If you dare to compare with me, you must tell your boss tomorrow. ?

The next day, XXX came to the study, met the wet nurse to send his son to school, and told him about his long-term work. The nurse said that he deserves it, too, sir! I am just like my husband. ? XXX was surprised and asked how it was the same. Answer:? I'm coaxing the kids, and you're coaxing the kids. Isn't it the same for XXX to quarrel with the wet nurse? It happened that the host brought a prostitute at home and came forward to persuade him: Sir, don't be angry. Sir is the same as me. ? XXX asked indignantly:? why

Prostitute:? I make money with my head and mouth, and you make money with your head and mouth, isn't it the same?

dance

The old virgin XXX dances with KINOMOTO SAKURA KINOMOTO SAKURA.

XXX:？ Are you married or single?

Sakura sakura:? Not yet. ?

XXX:？ Do you have any kids？

KINOMOTO SAKURA KINOMOTO SAKURA was furious and left.

XXX thought, I can't ask this question again next time. Then he continued to dance with Fu Xiao.

XXX:？ Do you have any kids？

Fu Xiao:? There are two?

XXX:？ Are you married?

In a battle, in order to repel the invasion of foreign troops, a general prayed like this: Oh, Almighty God! If justice is on our side, please help us win this war! If the enemy is unjust, please forgive their sins! If you really can't decide which side of justice is, then on the day of the war, please come to the battlefield and see where justice is! Amen! ?

Bao Xiucai from Taiyuan teaches in a wealthy family. The shopkeeper is very stingy. On the solstice of winter, he gave his in-laws a puppy as a gift. Who knows that my in-laws are also very stingy, and they cooked the puppy as a gift a few days later. The host invited Bao Xiucai to eat dog meat and asked him to write a poem about it. Bao Xiucai intoned:? When the puppy goes out, the two in-laws don't have to accompany him; Just like a young student taking the imperial examination, a scholar goes out to be a scholar. ?

;