What are some humorous short sentences that can be said to make everyone relax?

Humorous and classic quotations (1)

1. I am crazy and you are stupid. We got married in a daze. Come home quickly after get off work and say you love me again!

2. Walk your own way in other people’s shoes and let others find your shoes!

3. Get off the chariot and make chopsticks, and you won’t be alone!

4. When you know the confusion, you are not pitiful. When you don’t know the confusion, you are the most pitiful.

5. All harmony and balance, health and fitness, success and happiness are generated and caused by the upward psychology of optimism and hope.

6. Practice one breath inside and one breath outside.

7. A man’s words are like an old lady’s teeth. How many of them are true? !

8. Those who do not have medical insurance and life insurance should not act bravely after dark...

9. Without forgiveness, life will be controlled by endless hatred and revenge. I really didn't mean to hurt you, and I really want to make peace with you. Please forgive me.

10. Question: What do you like about me? Answer: I like you to stay away from me!

11. Maintain an optimistic attitude. Don’t pay too much attention to the ups and downs, joys and sorrows in life, and don’t be too demanding, let alone blame others. Because there are so few things in the world that everyone pays attention to.

12. When one person is together, there will be estrus; when two people are together, there will be passion; when three people are together, there will be adultery.

13. The story of Chang'e and Hou Yi teaches us: there will be no results between a woman who takes drugs and a man who likes to shoot randomly outside.

14. Nowadays, many blond, blue-eyed and pretty aristocratic daughters from across the ocean are crying and clamoring to get Chinese green cards, risking their lives to fall into the arms of unmarried men in the CCTV Spring Festival Gala.

15. Being mean is also an art. Let’s improve this art together!

Humorous and eloquent classic quotations (2)

16. There are no ifs in life, only consequences and results.

17. Mathematics makes me very tired, and physics makes me wrong again and again. Studying really made me haggard, and I was about to have a mental breakdown. Only by surfing the Internet will I not fall behind!

18. The more you learn, the more you know. The more you know, the more you forget. The more you forget, the less you know. Why do you learn?

19. I haven’t seen you for a while, but I really miss you! How are you over there? Did the tiger bully you? Do lions scare you? Have tourists thrown anything at you? Are you used to holding your phone with two little hooves and reading text messages?

20. Marble brand insoles are shameless for your feet.

21. Cherish life - if God lets you live, then he must have his arrangements.

22. Going to school is really hard, so it’s better to play on the computer at home.

23. If you choose to look up at others at 45°, don’t blame others for looking down at you at 135°.

24. The image of a man has only one purpose: to attract girls. So once the girl gets it, she will sadly find that this man has no image at all.

25. Please do not harass, I am harassing others.

26. With you, I have one more friendship; with you, I have one more happiness; with you, I have one more care; with you, I have one more care. Because I fell in love with you!

27. Ten years ago, I could beat your father to death with one slap, and ten years later I can still beat you to death with one slap... Go to hell, die. mosquito!

1. You get what you pay for, and you won’t feel hungry after eating porridge.

2. When no one holds hands, I just hold hands.

3. There is no need to leave me here, I have my own place to stay. Don't leave me everywhere, I'll go to the canteen!

4. On our first blind date, the girl wanted to shake my hand, so I got nervous and pulled out a pair of scissors.

5. Anyone who says you have no perseverance is talking nonsense. You should really tell them that you have been single for more than thirty years.

6. I lower my head not to admit defeat to you, but to look for bricks.

7. I don’t know much about music, so sometimes it’s unreliable and sometimes out of tune.

8. My future is not a dream, my future is a nightmare.

9. I never hold grudges, and I usually avenge them on the spot.

10. I’m sorry to make you laugh.

11. I have been running in the field of hope, although I am occasionally stumbled by disappointment.

12. There is no such thing as eternity, and it is pure nonsense!

13. Relationships between people always start with "Can I get to know you?" and end with "I fucking know you!"

14. There are only two outcomes in falling in love. The first is that everyone goes back to his own home and finds his own mother; the second is that your mother becomes my mother.

15. We should pay attention to details and start with small things, because you can’t accomplish anything big.

16. If you feel that you are as tired as a dog all day long. You really misunderstood. No dog is as tired as you.

17. There is no shame in selling one's soul and principles, but the shame is in not being able to get a good price.

18. Do you think this is the low point of your life? In fact, you still have a lot of room for decline.

19. Failure is the mother of success. No one will fail all the time. They just feel a little more maternal love.

20. Nothing is difficult in the world, as long as you are willing to give up.

When I was in the third or fourth grade of elementary school, I had to write a weekly diary every week. I don’t know which classmate made up a sentence, weekly diary, which made me sad to death. I didn’t do it because the teacher didn’t want to do it. 2: A classmate who was not very good at studying was talking in class. The teacher took the tip of the chalk and said: One bottle does not make a sound, half a bottle bangs, and throws the chalk on his head. From then on, this became a mantra among classmates.