Who has more jokes to give me? 2?

More jokes from "The King of Jokes"

A store owner was dying, and the whole family gathered around his bed.

He asked: "John, my son, is there?"

The son replied: "Yes, dad!"

He asked again: "Cath, is my daughter here?"

The daughter replied: "Yes, dad!"

At this time, the businessman asked: "Then who is looking after the store? "

Landlord and Tenant

"I can't bear it anymore. Why does this house always leak?" the tenant said to the landlord.

"It's funny, you only pay so little rent, why do you want to spill the champagne?"

A salesman applied for a job, but lost the job not long after , complaining about everything and worrying about others all day long.

Friends who cared about him asked: "Is it because you didn't do publicity?"

He replied with a sad face: "No, I did publicity seriously."

"What did you say?"

"I tell everyone: Our products will always be ahead of others."

"What you are selling is What?”

“Watch.”

1. A fat girl went to the mall to buy clothes. I took a piece of clothing and said to the waiter: "Do you have this dress in size XXXL?"

The waiter said: "So you stutter."

2. Someone please A master from an electrical appliance shop came to repair the radio.

The master said: "Who sold you such a bad radio?"

The repairman said: "You, you forgot, last year..."

Master: "Oh, it turns out to be that one. It's so durable that it can be used for a year."

3. One person was hungry. He ran to the stall selling pancakes and said with concern: "You guys use too much oil to fry pancakes. I have a way to save oil and save oil."

The pancake seller was overjoyed when he heard this and immediately served it to him. Give him a plate of pancakes to eat and ask him for advice on ways to save fuel. The man was full and still remained silent. The seller of fried cakes became anxious and asked, "What can you do to save fuel?"

The man wiped his mouth and said, "Selling steamed buns."

4. A new restaurant opened near the community, with a sign of "Four Famous Cookings". Xiao Liu specially invited a few friends to go and taste it. After drinking and eating, they still didn't see any of the "Four Famous Cookings", so Xiao Liu couldn't help but call the lobby manager to ask for more information.

The lobby manager blinked his little eyes and said with a smile: "Look, the walls of this restaurant are covered with large red silk palace lanterns. People in it feel like they are in a dream. Is this a 'Dream of Red Mansions'?"

Xiao Liu said "Oh".

The manager continued: "The three pots on the second floor are called 'Three Pots'". The pots are "Journey to the West Chicken", and the shape of the waiter pouring tea is the symbol of our restaurant. One trick is called "kettle spin".

5. The wind is rustling and the rain is miserable.

There is another corpse under the roof of Longmen Inn.

The corpse was naked, with a series of wounds on the throat, showing that the throat had been sealed by a sharp weapon.

One end of the iron hook is pierced through the throat, and the other end is fixed under the eaves.

The body was completely black and seemed to have been poisoned.

The abdomen was cut open, the internal organs were removed, and the death was extremely miserable.

There were only a few people in the inn, and a big man with a black mustache sat by the window.

"Boss, serve the food." A big man slapped the table and shouted.

Boss: Here we come! Waiter, please take down the silky chicken hanging by the door and steam it!

A new company opened, and a friend of the boss sent flowers to express his congratulations. The card attached to the flower said: "RIP."

The boss was very angry and called the flower delivery person to reprimand him.

He told the flower-giver that this was an obvious mistake. The flower-giver said: "Sir, I'm really sorry for the mistake, but you won't be angry if you think about it this way: there is a funeral being held somewhere today, and their flower signature says 'Congratulations on the opening of the new location'!"

A: Does my avatar look like a cow?

B: Like

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If a woman is a book, then Fat Lady is a bound volume.

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One day, after dinner, Lao Ban asked me to borrow a napkin to wipe his mouth. I handed him a piece of very soft paper. Lao Ban looked at me proudly while wiping his mouth. The mirror said, it would be great if this paper could be used to wipe buttocks~~~

A blind couple made a secret code when they had sex.

The man said: "Playing cards?" The woman said: "Start", and the two began to have sex.

The young man next door often heard the two playing cards and secretly plotted against them. They were blind, so how could they play cards? So he took a peek while they were "playing cards".

Take a look - that's it!

One day, the young man saw the blind man going out, so he sneaked into the blind man's house and said to the blind woman: "Playing cards?"

The blind woman said: "Start!" The two began to have sex. The young man was very capable, and at the climax, the blind woman repeatedly praised: "Good cards!"

At night, the blind man also wanted to have sex with the blind woman, and said: "Playing cards?" The blind woman said: " Didn't you play once during the day?" After hearing this, the blind man was shocked and shouted: "No, someone stole the cards!".

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On a hot summer day, a fat girl was walking along the street. As she walked, she suddenly found an unknown boy following closely behind her. "Do you need my help with anything?" Fat MM turned around and asked the boy. "No, thank you. I just like walking in the shadow where the sun doesn't shine." The boy said very politely.

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When I was young, my classmate who pronounced the English as "interest should be paid" became a bank president; the one who pronounced "wash in the gutter" became a vegetable vendor;

Those who read "causal connection" became philosophers; those who read "hardly changed history" became politicians; those who read "go to England" became overseas Chinese;

But I was not careful I read it as "should be exhausted" and ended up becoming a company employee...

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A very picky customer came to a small food store and saw a new A batch of fresh fruit arrived.

"Give me two pounds of oranges, each packed separately, thank you." He said to the female salesperson.

The female salesperson did as she was told.

"Another pound of cherries, each one wrapped separately, thank you." The female salesperson also complied, but she was very angry at this request.

"What's that?" he asked, pointing to the jar in the corner.

"Raisins" the female salesperson said, "However, those are not for sale!"

1. Speaking of calligraphy, everyone should have heard of mother-in-law tattoos. Let me test you, mother-in-law. What word is tattooed?

[Audience: I know, four words, serve the country with loyalty! ]

Wrong, the gift from my mother-in-law should have been seven words: Be nice to my daughter!

2. I have a letter from an audience here. There is a very interesting paragraph that I would like to read to you. Some girls are so outrageous when it comes to driving these days.

Last week, I was driving in a hurry to go to work. I saw a woman using her rearview mirror to apply lipstick while driving. What I didn't expect was that she suddenly overtook and cut diagonally into my lane. I was shocked and ended up using my electric shaver. It fell into the cup and the coffee spilled all over.

3. Recently, a new way of eating in a Kunming restaurant was urgently stopped - the specific method is to let a clean-bathed beauty lie on the table and put food on her body for consumers to enjoy. It is said that in the restaurant There is also a rule posted - eat when you eat, and no one is allowed to bang the table.

As the new way of eating began to be launched, the hotel started recruiting. I heard that several men also came to apply for the job and asked if the restaurant needed dishwashers.

In my opinion, only one of them has a competitive advantage, because he wrote on his resume that he has three years of experience in bathhouse back rubs.