Super invincible funny classic quotations

1. People have a lot of backgrounds, but I only have my back.

Those who can earn 200 Jin of pork a month now are barely white-collar workers.

3. It is said that you meet love around the corner, TMD, if you are not careful, you will be hit by a car when you turn the corner!

4. Why go when there is no way out? Just take the bus

Do you think I'll watch you die? I'll close my eyes!

6. Tucao is used to count money, not to make sense! !

7. If something goes wrong, look for the reason from yourself first. Don't blame the earth for its lack of gravity when you are constipated.

If one day I become a hooligan, please remind me that I was innocent.

9. The crowd searched for him for thousands of Baidu, and suddenly looking back, the man still disdained me …

10. The furthest distance in the world is not the ends of the earth, but that I am in telecom and you are in Netcom. ...

1 1. God gave us acne while giving us youth!

12. Go to today's class and sleep yesterday!

13. I couldn't outrun that BMW after all, so I watched it fly away in the sunset. It's not that my engine is broken, but that my chain has fallen off.

14. Look into my eyes and you will see persistence and sincerity beyond shit ~ ~

15. The kid next door finally vowed to lose weight-at the graduation job fair, someone told him, "Sorry, buddy, you blocked my cell phone signal."

16. Live well, because we will die for a long time! ! !

17. When listening to the sermon in the church, we should keep quiet. It is impolite to disturb others' sleep.

18. People are not smart, and they are as bald as others! !

19. I always wander between A Niu and Niu C.

20. There are so many people who despise me. Who are you?

2 1. I love you! What do you care?

22. Chopin, no matter how awesome B is, it can't play the sadness of Lao Tzu!

23. As long as the hoe jumps well, which corner can't be dug down?

24. There are two ways to pollute a place: garbage or money!

25. The reason of constipation is that the gravity of the earth is too small.

26. I don't know whether I went to college or the college fucked me.

27. Most people only do three things in their life: deceive themselves, deceive others and be bullied.

28. Pain is an enjoyment that only sober people can enjoy …

29. Don't be lazy with me, I'm too lazy to compare with you.

30. University is learning!

3 1. I have a left green dragon, a right white tiger and a Mickey Mouse tattooed on my shoulder.

32. Other people's money and wealth are my property.

33. I can't afford to sleep in the morning; Sleep at night!

34. I've been really busy recently, and it's hard to guarantee even one 16 hours' sleep!

35. Why do you need to sleep for a long time to live? You will fall asleep after death.

36. When a man says inner beauty, he means inner, not inner.

37. If you have a pair of wings, you should be braised …

38. What's the use of being handsome? Can I swipe my card with my face at the bank?

39. It is said that men become bad when they have money. I have been a good person for more than 20 years!

40. When arguing with others, take a step back and broaden your horizons; When chasing a girlfriend, take a step back and go to an empty building.

4 1. It is said that women are like clothes and brothers are like brothers. Looking back, I actually streaked in Too Many Cooks for 20 years!

42. Looking at the beautiful MM, there is no way to strike up a conversation. Pick up a brick by the roadside and go forward. "Classmate, did you drop this?"

43. It was dark at night and I suddenly wanted to study, but it was already dawn when I found the candle. ...

44. People who hang up QQ all day these days have nothing to do but go to work, that is, people who are not loved after work. ...

45. From heaven to hell, I pass by!

46. On the way to becoming awesome, I was in running all the way!

47. There is always time and opportunity to do things, and there is always an excuse to do things not to do.

48. I not only have a car, but also do it myself. ...

49. Summer is not good. When I was poor, I didn't even have to drink the northwest wind. ...

I struggled to climb to the top of the ladder, only to find that it climbed the wrong wall. ...

5 1. Facing the crowd in front of me, I want to cross and be smart. I know you're watching. It's fake ...

52. Peacock tried to open the screen, but it was exposed!

53. I try my best to close myself, just like a stone I hold tightly, in order to throw it further!

I ran hard, but I couldn't get rid of the sadness that followed. ...

The higher you fly, the smaller you are in the eyes of those who can't fly.

Some things are beyond our control, so we must control ourselves.

57. My brother's previous love life was also quite chaotic.

58. I spent 80,000 yuan on a pottery jar from the Western Zhou Dynasty. I went to Jianbao column for appraisal yesterday. The expert said seriously, "Which Western Zhou Dynasty did this belong to?" This is from last week! "

59. The fish said, "I kept my eyes open to leave you." The water said, "I have been flowing tirelessly all day, surrounding you and holding you tightly." The pot said, "It's almost fucking ripe, so much nonsense."

60. I have never been reduced to an excellent college student, relying on strong quality!

6 1. I want the whole world to know that I keep a low profile!

62. Unload the baggage that can't be unloaded, no way back; Endless tears, chasing an untraceable future

63. Fireworks blooming at the same time in the night sky can see each other's beautiful moments, but I can't light up your life. ...

64. I'm "tbirdhim! (I don't care about him)

65. Gender: sissy

66. If people are bored, they can play with nose bubbles.

67. A person's life is like taking a shit. Sometimes you have worked hard, and all you can come out is a fart.

68. When I was a child, my family was poor and I had no money to buy a bike. I have to go to school by taxi every day. When I was in junior high school, because my grades were too outstanding, the school leaders made me study for two more years. After graduating from junior high school, the high school principal thought I had a future and overcharged me by 30 thousand. In the third year of senior high school, the class teacher thought I had the ability to survive independently and dropped out of school.

69. I am in the Jianghu, but there are no legends about me in the Jianghu!

70. Besides teeth, there is love.

7 1. The dormitory brothers decided to impose the following punishment on District Chief Zhang:

Let him hold the telephone pole covered with advertisements of old Chinese medicine, and cry with tears: My illness is finally saved!

72.

73. Rats never waste time at night, but we humans waste one-third of our time every day.

74. "What is an optimist?" "This ..... is like a teapot, with a red ass and the mood to whistle!"

75. Deliberately study, work, live and live like an individual!

76. Put down your college student's shelf and find a bowl of rice first!

77. Two dung beetles are discussing the welfare lottery. A said: If I win the lottery, I will buy all the toilets within 50 miles of Fiona Fang and eat enough every day! B said: you are too vulgar! If I win the lottery, I will pack a living person and eat fresh food every day!

78. I only trust two people in this world, one is me and the other is not you.

79. Life is interesting, because life always fucking plays with me.

80. Love is mean, and it is mean again and again. When you stop being a bitch, women come!

8 1. The night gave me a pair of black eyes, but I rolled my eyes with them.

82. The Internet is like a prison. You stole a wallet in, but you know everything when you go out.

When I saw you, I lost my appetite. What can I talk about?

84. I want to puppy love, but it's too late. ...

85. The failure of others is my happiness!

86. Oh, my God! My clothes have lost weight again.

87. People who are not afraid of death are not born, so don't pretend to be TM!

88. We don't know what we have until we lose it.

89. Remember what should be remembered and forget what should be forgotten. Change what can be changed and accept what cannot be changed.

90. The existence of tears proves that sadness is not an illusion.

9 1. It takes only a minute to meet someone, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone, but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.

92. As long as you don't lose your way, you won't lose yourself! What matters in life is not where you stand, but the direction you face.