Crosstalk lines suitable for high school students

A: give me an idea. How can we get rich quickly?

B: Isn't this a simple question?

A: Simple? Tell me.

You walk towards the bank with a big bag in your hand.

A: Why? You want me to rob a bank?

B: Where? What bank are you robbing? Thanks to your words. You just walked into the bank to withdraw money.

A: I don't understand. Tell me more.

B: Take a big sack and don't forget your passbook. Then you walk into the bank. You take out all the deposits in the passbook at the business counter and fill your big sack. Then you walk out of the bank with this big bag. Then you'll be fine. This is the whole process of getting rich quickly.

I still don't understand. I seem to be getting confused.

Let me ask you, do you want to get rich quickly?

A: Yes.

You have a big bag of money, are you rich?

But, but do I have to use my passbook to withdraw money?

B: This is new to you. Can I withdraw money from the bank without a passbook?

Then whose passbook should I use?

B: That's even fresher. You need a huge sum of money. You have to go to the bank to get it. Whose passbook should I use here?

A: So you mean to use my own passbook?

B: Isn't that nonsense? Don't use your own passbook. Do you want to use mine?

A: Are you talking nonsense or am I talking nonsense? Oh, I already have a huge passbook myself. I'm here to ask you how to get rich quickly. I came to a hungry man with a golden rice bowl, didn't I?

B: It took you a long time to get it, so you don't have such a passbook? Then why do you ask this question? How come? You want a white wolf with empty gloves?

It seems that I can't rely on you. I'd better figure it out myself.

Do you have any good ideas?

A: I think it would be great if I could grow more internal organs in my body. For example, I can grow two hearts, three lungs, four livers, five stomachs, six kidneys and seven groups of intestines.

B: Neither do I. What does it have to do with getting rich quickly?

Why are you so ignorant? Can't I take out those extra internal organs and sell them for a high price? I became a millionaire in an instant.

Your appetite is a little small.

A: It's not the size, it's the quantity. If I have nine stomachs, can't I transfer the extra eight stomachs at a high price?

You don't know me. I mean, are you content to be a multimillionaire?

A: Why? You call me a billionaire?

You can make more money in a better way.

A: Is there a better way?

You can rent out your heart, lungs and other organs.

A: I want to rent out my internal organs?

Yes, the lease term is 100 years. /kloc-won't you become a super billionaire in 0/00 years?

Are you kidding? Oh, I'll be a billionaire when I die?

Who said you were dead? What if you can live long?

A: What if? But the expression "one hundred years later" means death, and it has this fixed meaning.

That's true. That's true. Why didn't I think of that? Let's put it this way: 105 years later, you will definitely become a super billionaire.

A: But what if I don't live long? Then I didn't rent it to others for nothing? It's nothing. It's best to rent it for free, but if I want to rent it, I can rent it for ten years at most.

Do you think you can live for ten years? Don't you think you're giving it away for nothing?

A: Why? I don't even have ten years to live?

B: You have exhausted all the resources in your body. Can you live this life?

A: What I took out was redundant resources.

Where do you get the extra resources? You have two hearts and three lungs. You have four livers and five stomachs. You have six kidneys and seven groups of intestines. Sweet dreams.

A: I am dreaming a beautiful dream, but after all, there are two lungs and two kidneys in my body.

B: What do you want?

A: I can take out a lung and a kidney, or I can take out half a heart, half a liver, half a stomach and half a intestine at the same time. Although my body will be hurt, it is only temporary. After I earn a lot of money, I will try to buy more necessities in my body, so that I can recover. I'm rich, and my health is getting better. Don't I have money and people?

Why don't you kill two birds with one stone?

A: You can also say that.

B: you can also say that? Tell you, this is for others; For you, this is both manpower and financial resources. Do you know how much a catty of copper is worth?

A: Copper? What does this have to do with copper?

You're selling your guts at a low price. People will buy your guts at a copper price. Then your internal organs are copper. You are a copper heart, a copper lung, a copper liver, a copper stomach, a copper kidney and a copper intestine. In short, your whole body smells of copper from the inside out.

A: Who doesn't love money? Don't you like it?

B: you can't say you don't love it. However, my principle is: a gentleman loves money and takes it wisely. No matter how much you want to make money, you can't put the idea of making money on your insides. Just like a country, no matter how much you want to make money, you can't put the idea of making money on its resources, minerals and mountains and rivers.

A: But people are not rich without windfall, and horses are not fat without night grass. Is there no special channel to get rich quickly? Now I don't care so much, I can only concentrate on making a fortune.

B: Joke, can you really get rich? You are losing your wife and soldiers. Do you know how much a catty of animal offal costs?

A: Animal viscera? You, what do you mean?

B: People will buy your entrails at the price of buying animal entrails. Then your internal organs become animal internal organs. You are the heart of a wolf, the lung of a dog, the liver of a pig, the stomach of a cow, the kidney of a cat and the intestine of a sheep. In short, you smell like fish all over, from the inside out.

Am I a hodgepodge? You are used to being a cook, aren't you? Three words don't leave the line.

B: It's not that I want to kill you, it's that people want to kill you.

Kill me? Do you want to kill me? ! Are you kidding? I do business with others in cash and cash on delivery. Don't be so alarmist, okay?

Think about it. If someone wants to take resources from you, how far is it from killing you? Don't say that you really can't get rich. Even if you can really get rich, do you still have a chance to enjoy your wealth? No matter how much money you get, isn't it just like waste paper

A: So the method of eviscerating is not feasible? If I don't gut myself, can I rent out the external tissues of my body?

B: Do you want to rent your hands and feet?

Can I rent a hand and a leg to someone else?

B: Can you find it yourself? But there are two things on you that will make a joke if you rent them to others.

What two things? What's so funny?

B: If you rent your head to others, you can't use it to think for yourself. You can only think of others. During the period of renting a house, you will even use your brain to make suggestions for others and calculate yourself.

A: Is there such nonsense? What about the other thing?

B: The other thing is your mouth. Of course, this is also a part of your brain. If you rent your mouth to others, you can no longer speak for yourself with this mouth, you can only speak for others. During the period of renting a house, you will even scold your mother and your ancestors for others.

A: Scold it. You won't scold again when the lease expires anyway.

Are you speaking human language? Are you worthy of your parents and your ancestors?

A: Isn't it the same for me to take turns cursing each other after the lease expires? At that time, I scolded him severely again. Can't I make amends?

B: The concept that people like you are also guilty?

A: Why? I have no concept of sin? Did I commit any crime? Did I kill someone? Did I rob? Did I steal it? Did I rape? Did I gamble? Am I dealing drugs?

B: Although you didn't do these things directly, you made suggestions for others to do them. You commit crimes with words, not with your body. But you should know that using language to commit a crime is also a crime, or even a more serious crime.

A: It seems that you are a decent person. I don't think you will commit a crime. How about I rent my head and mouth to you?

B: Have a look. Look at it. He is selling his goods. You are an idiot, figuratively speaking, you are a pig head. What's the use of renting a head? As for your mouth, do you know how it talks?

A: What does it say?

It talks like an idiot.

What exactly did it say?

You ask me? You might as well ask your mouth. Tell me, what's good for me to rent your mouth? Rent it and help me eat? I only have one stomach. Do I need so many mouths to eat?

A: You eat yours, I eat mine, and each eats his own. What does this have to do with how many bellies you have?

You're playing dumb, aren't you? Since you have rented me your mouth, what you eat can only be put into my stomach. Can you still send it to your stomach? This is a foul! You broke the rules, or I will sue you.

A: But this rule itself is based on irrationality. You are crazy to rent someone else's mouth. Are you going to starve others? Are you wicked or not?

Well, you can't say that. You volunteered. Did I force you to rent it? You signed the lease contract yourself.

A: But you know in advance what it means to others if you rent their mouths. This is actually tantamount to murder in disguise.

Do I have a knife? Do I have a gun? Did I kill you?

A: But your indirect killing is more subtle and insidious than your direct killing with a knife.

Who can blame this? This is the way you choose to die.

A: Just because I signed a lease contract?

B: If you are not obsessed with money, how can you sign such a contract with others? The contract itself is based on inequality.

It seems that I am doomed not to get rich? Is there any other way for me to go?

B: Why? You haven't given up the idea of getting rich?

A: This is my only pursuit in my life. Can I give up?

B: In that case, I'll tell you a shortcut to get rich. You should stop thinking about eight lungs, five hearts, seven livers and three sets of intestines. I said grow money directly in your body.

Are you kidding again? Money can grow in you? I've never heard of it.

B: There is nothing strange in this world. Maybe such a miracle can happen to you.

If it's such a good thing, I'll treat your guests. You can order anything you want.

Don't invite me yet. I'll tell you slowly. With more and more money in the body, the belly is getting bigger and bigger, and the chest is getting higher and higher, it becomes a super fat man. Look at your rare fat figure. You really look like a world-class super rich man.

A: What a surprise! Am I not?

B: You can say yes or no, because the money you grow can only be stored in your body as savings.

A: Then what money do I have here?

What you are saving is dead money. First, it can't be used to buy food. Second, it can't be used to buy clothes. Third, it can't be used to buy a house. Fourth, it cannot be used to buy train tickets. Food, clothing, housing and transportation are useless. Of course, it is normal for the dead to save money.

A: Why? You call me a dead man?

You're alive? It is not normal for the living to save money from the dead. It is natural that when a person dies, his money dies. However, if a person is alive but the money is dead, the living person has a problem, and the problem is not small.

A: You have been talking for a long time, and finally I have heard the eyebrows. So you're saying I'm saving money.

What finally caught your attention? Did I beat around the bush? Didn't I make myself clear? Although all your savings are dead money, when you compete with others, you clap your chest and shout, "I'm rich!" " "On the other hand, even if all your savings are dead money, you have to pay for it.

A: What's the price?

B: Since then, you have been a moneymaker. You have really become a robot, an economic man and a digital man. You are no longer a living person in a real physiological sense.

A: Then what?

B: Then your relationship with money is reversed. It is no longer you who spend money, but money who spends you.

Money for me?

Think about it. You are a machine that can produce money. Aren't you a treasure in people's hearts? People will pay a lot of money for you, and your worth is still quite high.

A: How much is it?

Look at him. He knows that he cares about money. I don't know what he can care about except money.

You haven't answered me yet. How much are they going to pay?

B: How much they pay is none of your business. You asked this question, too

A: It's a joke. I didn't ask this question, did you?

You know, you have finished the role change. You are no longer a shopper, but a shopper. Buy you, buy you and sell you. How much can people pay for a machine? This is not the concern of the machine itself, but the concern of the machine owner. Why do you ask so many questions?

A: I am a living person, so I am mechanized? Then what is the joy of my life?

B: Your pleasure is indulging in money. Looking at the clicking banknotes produced every day makes you feel elated and excited. But these bills are not for you.

A: That was my only money addiction?

What else can you do? The only thing you can do is to produce money honestly. Not for myself, but for others.

A: Then isn't this actually equivalent to killing me as a living person?

B: That is, people die for money and birds die for food. But what happened to you is worse than the man who died for money.

A: Could it be worse?

B: Because you didn't get the money, all you got were numbers. Do you know why you died?

A: For what?

B: You died for numbers.

Well, that's not right. It seems that I am a dead man now.

Do you think you are still alive?

What do you mean I'm still alive? Am I not standing here talking to you?

B: Of course, you can't say that you are completely dead. After all, you are hermaphrodite.

A: When did I become a hermaphrodite?

B: I haven't touched on the issue of androgyny. I mean, you are alive and dead.

A: This is impossible. A person can't be living and dead at the same time, just as a person can't be a man and a woman at the same time.

B: There are all kinds of things in this world. That's who you are.

A: what kind of person is it? Is it hermaphrodite?

B: Androgyny is here again. You seem to like being a hermaphrodite. Of course, you do have androgynous genes. But more importantly, you are a living dead.

A: The living dead? What is a living dead?

B: The living dead are the walking dead. You are a walking textbook.

A: You've been talking for a long time, and finally I've heard something. So you're saying I'm a living dead man.

What finally caught your attention? Did I beat around the bush? Didn't I make myself clear?

According to you, there is no point in my living?

B: The purpose of your life is to make negative teaching materials. Over the years, because of your efforts, you have been a very successful negative textbook. You have made people realize this sentence more deeply: some people are alive, but they are dead; Some people died, but he is still alive.

I will be a negative example for everyone?

What do you mean?

A: I mean, I mean this, this, this, right? This, this, I'm just going to be a negative example for everyone's volunteers?

You've said it twice. what are you trying to say？

I mean, I mean, right, ah, good, good, ah, right …

B: It seems that your androgynous genes are starting to work, just like your mother-in-law.

I will be a negative example for everyone?

You've said it three times. How many times did your intestines turn? How many knots does your nerve have? It's hard to have a baby, right? Looks like we have to send you to obstetrics and gynecology right away.

I mean, can't you show me?

Well, that's easy to say. Let's write a thank-you note and stick it on your door.

A: Anything else?

B: Anything else? What else is there?

You just wrote me a thank-you note?

Oh, a thank-you note is too few, isn't it? Then we can write two copies and send one to your work unit.

A: That's not what I meant. I mean, can't you show me something practical?

B: thank you note is not practical? What practical expression do you want?

You're playing dumb, aren't you? (loudly) I'm just giving you a negative example for nothing? !

Oh, I see. I finally understand what you want.

A: Ahem, ok, I'm sorry.

B: All you want is one word.

He: money!